"Buried Secret"
Author: Michelle
Email: michellabella52478@yahoo.com
Dedication: To Amanda, whose challenge
made me want to write B/A fic again after my decision to retire from fanfic.
Notes: // \\ denotes flashback
"Are things working out well for you in Sunnydale?" Lindsey asked Buffy over the phone Friday evening. Despite Buffy's decision to break things off and remain in Sunnydale, her ex still cared deeply for her and her son.
Buffy sighed heavily, sitting on the porch steps in the backyard. "Well, I knew coming back wouldn't be easy, and I was right about that. It's been full of surprises, that's for sure. But other than that, it's like being home again. Which is kind of ironic when you think about it."
"How's Steven? Is he handling the move okay?" he wanted to know.
"Yeah, that kid's a real trouper. He loves it here. He's got lots of new friends, absolutely loves this house and even likes school." She chuckled. "He definitely takes after his father in that respect. I hated school with a passion."
Lindsey paused before broaching the subject he hoped to discuss with her. He figured since she brought it up it would be an opportunity to not let pass by. "Speaking of his father, have you spoken to him?"
"You could say that."
"What does that mean? Does he know you're back in town?"
"Oh, he knows all right. Angel's Steven's teacher. I had to have a parent-teacher conference with him the other day. Let me tell you what a shock that was," Buffy said.
"What happened?"
She recalled demanding her mother to explain why she neglected to mention Angel's employment at Sunnydale Elementary when she returned home from the meeting. Mrs. Summers gave her a song and dance about not realizing "Mr. Williams" was, in fact, Angel. Not that Buffy believed her for a second. Her mother had been trying to get her to talk to Angel from the moment she arrived in Sunnydale. "Nothing happened, Lindsey. It just shocked me, that's all. It shocked both of us, truthfully. I didn't expect to see him and he sure as hell didn't expect to see me. Angel asked me a lot of questions I didn't want to answer and then proceeded to ask me out to dinner."
The lawyer on the other end of the line bit his lip jealously. "And? Did you accept his invitation?"
"No, of course not."
"Can I ask you why not?"
"Because I'm not ready to face him. Being taken totally by surprise is one thing, willingly spending time with him is another. Not to mention the fact that he's seeing someone," the blonde explained. "I am not about to rekindle the old flame when he's got a girlfriend. Who's a cop. With a gun. Sorry, I don't have a death wish. Besides, I'm not that kind of girl."
Lindsey felt horrible for his question coming off the way it did. "I didn't mean to imply that you are, Buffy. I know you still have feelings for him, plus you two share a child."
"Angel doesn't know Steven is his son. He doesn't even suspect it's a possibility."
"I hate to be the one to state the obvious, but he's going to figure it out eventually. I've told you this before. Angel, from what you've told me about him, doesn't strike me as being a dumb man. If he's going to be seeing Steven five days a week from now until mid-June, he's going to notice a resemblance between himself and your kid. You told me yourself he looks just like him. He'll put two and two together sometime."
"I'm gonna tell him, Linds. Just not now. I'm waiting for the right time."
He lifted his eyebrows. "And when will that be?"
"I don't know exactly. But I'll know it when the time comes. I knew when I saw him in that classroom I'd have to tell him the truth. Like I've said before, he has a good life without me in it, he doesn't need me throwing a kid into the mix."
"If it were me, I'd want to know right away. He has rights, Buffy. You're keeping him from his son. If you keep Steven from him for too much longer, it isn't going to go over well when you finally tell him. He could take him away. Father's rights are taken very seriously these days."
She rolled her eyes. "Can you stop being a lawyer for ten minutes? Angel's not like that. He'd never do something so awful like trying to take my son away from me. Angel's not like Riley Finn."
Steven bounded down the stairs from the second floor when he heard the doorbell ring. His grandmother was working late at the gallery and his mother was in her room, and he doubted she'd heard the doorbell ringing, since she never opened her bedroom door. "Who is it?" he called to the person on the other side.
"It's Mr. Williams."
Recognizing his teacher's voice, the eight-year-old turned the doorknob and opened the door. "Hi, Mr. Williams," Steven said. "How come you're at my house?"
"I came to see your mom. Is she home?"
"Uh-huh. Did I do something wrong?" he asked, suddenly very worried he was about to get in trouble.
Angel shook his head. "Nope. I actually wanted to ask your mom a question. See, when your mom was younger, back when she was a teenager, we knew each other. Really well."
"Were you friends?"
"The best."
"Did you love her?"
Staring at the young boy standing in front of him, Angel wondered why he hadn't noticed it before. From the first day he'd seen Steven, he recognized something but he couldn't put his finger on it. Now he knew - he'd recognized Buffy but hadn't fully realized it. Her son looked almost exactly like her, with the exception of his brown hair and brown eyes. "Yes, I loved her very much."
"Did you wanna marry her? 'Cause no one's married her yet," Steven informed his teacher. "Not even Lindsey."
Before Angel could answer, he caught sight of Buffy walking down the stairs, wearing a white tank top and blue jogging pants. "Steven, who are you talking to? And what did I tell you about answering the door for strangers?"
"But Mr. Williams is here. He wants to see you, but I didn't do anything wrong. Right, Mr. Williams?" Steven turned to his teacher to back him up.
"Right."
She slowly nodded, reaching the bottom of the steps. "Go on up to your room and finish your homework."
"I did it already."
"Then find something else to do before I ask Mr. Williams to assign you more homework," Buffy stated. She watched her son pout and run up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door. Angel winced but didn't comment. "What can I do for you, Angel?"
"I..." He'd had a whole speech prepared but it flew out of his head the moment he laid eyes on her. "I came to ask you out to dinner tomorrow night."
Buffy looked down at the floor before looking back up at her former boyfriend. "I told you the other day how I feel about going out with men who have girlfriends."
"Kate and I broke up," Angel informed her. "I broke up with her that night. Like I told you, I don't love her the way I love you."
"Angel-"
"I'm not looking for a life-long commitment from you." 'Okay, so I am, but that's beside the point.' "It's just dinner; I'd like to find out what you've been up to for the last nine years."
The expression on his face told her everything she needed to know. Angel wasn't about to let her turn him down. "You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"
"No, I'm not."
"Fine," Buffy relented. "I'll go."
"Terrific. I already made reservations for six o'clock. Wear something nice."
"Will, he ambushed me," Buffy complained Saturday morning when she stopped over her friend's house for a visit. "I felt like I didn't have any choice but to say yes to him. No way was Angel going to take no for an answer."
Willow was not the least bit surprised when Buffy told her about Angel stopping over and inviting her out for dinner. He'd called her shortly after Kate left and explained how he found Buffy in his classroom, then subsequently broke up with his girlfriend to explore his feelings for his ex. "It definitely sounds like Angel. Did he tell you where he's taking you?"
She sighed with frustration. "Where he's taking me isn't the point. The point is that he is forcing me to go out with him!"
"Angel's smart, good-looking and still in love with you. Not to mention the fact that he's the father of your son. I don't see the problem," Willow told her. "There are women who'd kill to be in your shoes. Why are you complaining about it?"
"What if he wants to get back together? Or pick things up where they left off? Or worse, he wants to know about Steven's father? What do I do then?"
"He'll give you time, I'm sure," the redhead reassured her. "Angel won't expect you to hop right back into bed with him. Did he ever, *ever* push when you guys dated in high school?"
Buffy shook her head. "No. He was always a gentleman."
"And I bet he still is. Buffy, he's still the same guy for the most part. Just a little older, a little wiser, and a little more brokenhearted," Willow pointed out. "Give the poor guy a chance. He's Steven's father; he's part of your life no matter what."
Steven watched as his mother stood in front of her full-length mirror. He'd seen her do that before she went out on dates with Lindsey - look at herself from different angles to make sure she looked good.
"You look really pretty, Mom," he commented. "Are you going out tonight?"
Buffy turned around to gaze at her son. 'God, he looks just like his dad. No wonder I love him so much,' she thought. "Thank you very much. And, yes, I am going out tonight. I actually have a date."
His face brightened. "Is it Lindsey? Is he coming to Sunnydale to live with us?"
She crouched down in front of him, stroking his dark hair. Lindsey was the only father figure Steven had ever known, and she knew how much her son missed him. "No, honey, it's not Lindsey. I told you, he lives in Los Angeles and he can't leave because of work. He and I are still friends, but we're not dating anymore. I'm sorry."
"So who are you going out with?"
"Mr. Williams, your teacher. He stopped over yesterday, remember?" Steven nodded. "Well, he's taking me to dinner tonight. Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah, I guess so. Mr. W is kinda cool. He loved you, did you know that?"
Buffy smiled at him. "Yep, I knew that." She heard the doorbell ring downstairs. "I bet that's him. Wanna go with me to answer the door?"
"Sure!"
Steven ran down the stairs first, reaching the bottom before his mother had even reached the second step. He opened the front door without bothering to ask who it was. Just as he expected, his teacher was standing on the other side. "Hiya, Mr. W. Are you really taking my mom out tonight?"
"Hey, Steven. You bet I'm taking your mom out tonight. Is she ready to go?" Angel asked.
"Uh-huh." He opened the door wider for his teacher to enter.
When he stepped inside, Angel was taken aback as he looked up the stairs. Buffy was descending the steps, wearing a black slip dress and matching black heels. She'd dyed her hair back to its natural blonde, pulling it back with a simple black clip. After close to a decade, she still took his breath away.
"Wow. You look...beautiful," Angel complimented. "I'm going to be the envy of every single guy in there tonight."
She blushed, not expecting to be so affected by his words. "Thank you. You're looking pretty good yourself." He wore a navy blue suit with a matching tie. It reminded her of the suit he wore when he took her to their first Homecoming dance, minus the Mickey Mouse tie. "Steven, tell Grandma we're leaving. And don't give her any trouble."
"Got it. Mommy and Mr. W sittin' in a tree..."
Angel chuckled as they walked to his car. "Cute kid you got there."
"He's a little bratty at times."
"He reminds me of myself at that age. I was the biggest brat on the face of the planet, which I'm sure Willow will attest to. I don't know how my parents managed to put up with me."
'Sounds like your son inherited more than just your good looks and killer smile,' she said to herself.
"He looks exactly like you," Angel told Buffy after the the waitress left with their orders. He'd taken her to Mauricio's Ristorante, an expensive Italian restaurant two towns away.
Buffy put down her wine glass. "You really think so? I never...well, I always thought he looked more like his father."
"I see you everywhere in him." He reached across the table and grabbed her hands before she had a chance to pull them away, needing some kind of contact with her. "He has your nose and your lips. And definitely your smile."
"No way," she disagreed. "Steven has yo - his father's smile. He doesn't look anything like me."
"Then you're not looking hard enough." He paused before posing his next question. "Can I ask you what happened to his father?"
She frowned, looking down at her place setting. "He's not a part of Steven's life. He...he doesn't even know he has a son."
The look on her face told Angel everything he needed to know. "He left you, didn't he?" he ventured a guess.
Buffy shook her head. "No, you got it backwards. I left him when I found out I was pregnant."
Angel's blood boiled at the thoughts going through his mind. "Was he abusive? Did he ever hit you?"
"No, nothing like that. He loved me, I know he did. He'd tell me almost every day. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew he wasn't ready to be a father."
"And you've never told him he has a son?" he asked incredulously.
"Never. He's better off without us screwing up his life. Last I heard he was successful and in a happy relationship. He has moved on, forgotten all about me I'm sure." 'Or at least I thought he had.'
Angel gave her a half-smile, gently rubbing her knuckles with his thumbs. He'd all-but-forgotten how good it felt to touch her. "I doubt he's forgotten you. And if I were him, I'd want to know about Steven."
With her heart pounding in her chest, Buffy needed to change the subject. And fast. "Would you mind if we talk about something else? Like you, maybe?"
He shrugged, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. "Sure. What do you want to know about me?"
"The first thing that pops into my mind is why you're a teacher. I thought you wanted to go into sports medicine," she said.
"A lot changed after you left. My heart wasn't in it anymore," Angel explained. "I decided I'd rather be around kids all day long, so I changed my major to Elementary Education. I always wanted a big family with tons of kids; I pictured myself having that family with you. When you took off, so did that dream."
Buffy's lower lip trembled and tears stung her eyes. "My leaving really did ruin your life. It's my fault you're not doing what you wanted to do."
He tightened his grip on her hands. "No, Buffy, you didn't ruin my life. Not at all. Teaching makes me happy. I'm glad I changed my mind about that. We wouldn't be here right now if I stayed in medicine. And I would not trade this moment for anything."
Angel held her hand as he walked her to the front door. The evening had been virtually perfect; he didn't want it to end so soon. "I had a good time tonight, Buffy."
She smiled. "So did I. Thank you for forcing me to go out with you. At first I wasn't so sure, but..."
"Did you think I'd want to pick things up where we left off?" he asked. "I'm not eighteen anymore, nor are you seventeen. We're both mature adults. I didn't expect you to fall into my arms again."
"I appreciate that, Angel. But I think I should tell you I'm just getting out of a long-term relationship."
"So am I. But you need to know that I have every intention of finding out if there's still something between us. We're connected to each other, that's why I broke up with Kate."
"Angel-"
He silenced her by pressing his lips to hers in a soft, languid kiss. It deepened slowly, taking both of them by surprise. When Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and parted her lips for him, Angel felt as if absolutely no time has passed, that they were still teenagers and her mother was about to open the front door and tell him to go home.
They were both out of breath when the kiss ended. "I guess some things never change," Buffy said.
"I hope you don't think that was presumptuous of me to kiss you like that. I'd been wanting to do that since I first saw you in my classroom the other day," he told her.
Buffy shook her head in disagreement. "That's not what I meant. What I meant is that you're still a terrific kisser."
He grinned. "Thanks. You've still got it, too." Angel placed both of his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look in his eyes. "I'm not letting you go this time, Buffy. I still want the dream. The only life I've every wanted is with you. I love you. That never changed in the nine years you've been gone. I can't have my dream without you."
"I'm not the same person I was back then."
"Maybe not, I'll just have to tweak my dream a little bit. But it includes you and it includes Steven," Angel said. "And I can wait for you to get things settled, that's not a problem. I promise not to push you if you promise not to run away."
"I won't run away again. You have my word," Buffy promised. "Steven and I aren't going anywhere."
"So, the Buffster's back in town," Xander commented sarcastically. "It's always nice to be the last to know everything. Especially something this big."
Willow rolled her eyes, wondering why her childhood friend needed to act so melodramatic. "Xander, you're not the last to know, don't worry. I never told Cordelia."
"As if she'll actually care. She's too busy living in New York, waiting for her inevitable stardom to take effect. The return of Buffy Summers to Sunnydale isn't going to matter to her."
"You know, you could at least pretend to care. I mean, you haven't seen Buffy in nine years," Willow reminded him. "You don't know how difficult things have been for her. Her life hasn't exactly been a walk in the park."
He shrugged his shoulders. "Did she care about us when she just took off? No. We spent the last nine years or so wondering if she was even still alive. And wondering why she left without a word to anyone. Her own boyfriend didn't have a clue."
"She had her reasons."
"Does Angel even know she's back in town?" Xander questioned. "Not as if I really care what that freak thinks, but still...she broke his heart. I may not like him, but at least I know how much she hurt him. And he probably didn't deserve it."
"Yes, he knows Buffy's back in Sunnydale," the redhead told him. "They had dinner together last night."
Xander snorted. "Don't tell me he just decided to forgive and forget. She walked out on him without any explanation. That's not the sort of thing you just forgive."
"It's more complicated than that. Buffy has more than only herself to think about these days."
"Let's hope so. How did Angel take the news when you told him she's back?" he wanted to know. "Did he completely freak out?"
"I, um, didn't tell him. He sorta found out for himself when he found her in his classroom last week."
He scrunched up his nose in confusion. 'Classroom?' he thought. "Wills, what the heck was Buffy doing in his classroom?"
"A parent-teacher conference. Angel's her son's teacher."
"Buffy has a kid?!" he asked incredulously. "Since when?"
"Since about eight-and-a-half years ago," she informed him. "His name is Steven and he's the cutest little boy ever."
Xander shook his head at Willow's new information. His old high school friend certainly had changed since she left town. Now she was a mother. "A son, huh? Well, Buffy sure got around when she left. She didn't waste any time in getting herself knocked up."
"That's a horrible thing to say!" exclaimed Willow. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"I know it doesn't sound like the Buffy we used to know and worship. That one only had eyes for Angel. This one sounds like a tramp. Does she even know who the father is?"
Willow couldn't take it anymore. Xander's hateful words towards Buffy were causing her to slowly unravel, but calling her a tramp was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Angel is the father, you...you idiot!" she yelled. "She was pregnant when she left Sunnydale."
Taken aback by her outburst, Xander didn't say anything for several long moments. It never crossed his mind that Angel might be the boy's father. "What did you say?"
She immediately regretted revealing Buffy's secret. Her friend would definitely be angry if she found out she'd said something. "N-Nothing. Forget I said anything."
"It's a little late for that. Angel is Steven's father? Does he know? Did she know she was pregnant when he left?"
Willow shook her head. "No, Angel doesn't have a clue he's the father. And yes, she knew she was pregnant. Look, Xander, you have to promise you won't say anything to anyone. That includes Anya. Nobody knows about this except for me, Buffy and Mrs. Summers."
"Is she planning on telling him?"
"When the times is right. Which will be soon. She said the date went really well last night; she thinks they're on their way to getting back together, at least if Angel has anything to say about it."
"If I was Angel, I'd be royally pissed at her for keeping my son from me. I hope he gives her hell," stated Xander.
He stepped out of his car when he saw Buffy and Steven pull into the driveway. It had been over a week since he'd seen them at the department store; since they virtually disappeared from Las Angeles. It took a great deal of legwork to locate them in the small, idyllic town of Sunnydale. He'd all but forgotten she said she lived there during their first meeting. But now he'd found them, and he wasn't about to lose them again.
Steven saw the man making his way over. "Mom, that guy's coming here."
"What guy?" she asked.
"The one from the store last week."
Buffy turned around, slamming the car door behind her. She saw him - Riley Finn, wearing a satisfied smile on his face. It was her worst nightmare come to life. He'd found them. "Steven, go inside right now. And lock the door behind you," she ordered.
Her son knew she meant business, so he didn't question her. He grabbed his bags and made a beeline for the front door. Once inside, he called out for his grandmother.
"Thought you could hide from me?" Riley asked condescendingly. "Thought you were smarter than me, *Buffy*?"
She stood her ground, refusing to show her fear. "What are you doing here?"
"What do you think I'm doing here? I came for my son."
"Steven isn't your son."
"Isn't he? Then why did you run away from L.A.? So you could keep him from me?" he demanded. "Didn't work; I found you anyway. I want what's mine, and I won't leave until I get it."
"He isn't yours!" she yelled. "I would never give birth to the child of a sick, twisted rapist like you!"
Riley grabbed her arm in a fit of rage and squeezed until he saw her wince in pain. "I don't take kindly to name-calling. Give me my son."
"Let me go before I scream bloody murder, and every one of my neighbors comes out here and sees you hurting me. And I'm willing to bet one of them will call the cops. I'll gladly press assault charges."
Seeing the dead seriousness in her green eyes, he dropped her arm. "This isn't over," he promised. "I'll be back, next time with a court order to take my son."
"You have no legal right."
"I will once I have a DNA test ordered and it proves he's my son."
Buffy narrowed her eyes. "I guarantee you it'll come back saying there's not a snowball's chance in hell you're Steven's father."
He leaned in closer. "We'll see." He turned to leave.
Once he pulled away, Buffy walked into the house, her heart pounding in her chest. The confrontation had frightened her; the last person she'd ever expected to see in Sunnydale was Riley Finn. How had he found her? Though there was no question in her mind he wouldn't hesitate to take Steven away from her. And that was something she needed to prevent.
"Buffy? What was that out there?" Mrs. Summers wanted to know as soon as her daughter entered the house.
"That was Riley Finn."
The name didn't sound familiar to her. "Who?"
"The man I met when I first arrived in Los Angeles; the one who slipped the mickey into my drink and got me to sleep with him. The man who thinks Steven is his biological son."
"But he's not. Angel is Steven's father."
"I know that." Buffy took a deep breath. "Steven and I have to go someplace safe. Someplace where Riley can't find us until things calm down and he forgets all about this."
"Why not just let him find out Steven's not his son?" her mother suggested. "He'll be gone pretty fast after that."
Buffy shook her head. "No. I'm not putting Steven through that."
"So you're running away again," her mother surmised.
Once again, she shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'll be right here in Sunnydale. Just someplace he'll never even think to look for me."
Angel put down the Spelling tests he'd been grading when he heard the knocking at his apartment door. He wasn't expecting visitors, so he was dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. "Who is it?" he asked.
"It's Buffy."
He unlocked the door and opened it without hesitation. But it wasn't just Buffy on the other side, it was both Buffy and Steven. With suitcases on either side of them. "H-Hi. What can I do for you guys?"
She lifted her suitcase, and Steven followed in suit. "Well, we're hoping we can stay here for a couple of days. Is that okay?"
"Of course. Come on in."
Angel held the door open for Buffy and Steven, taking their bags as they entered his apartment. He had to admit, he'd been very surprised to find them when he answered the door. They were the last people he expected to see there; ever since his breakup with Kate, she'd called numerous times and stopped by in hopes of working things out. It didn't seem to phase his ex-girlfriend that he no longer wanted to be with her. He was in love with Buffy, always had been and always would be, no matter how much he'd tried to get over her.
"Can I get you both something to drink?" he asked them, setting their bags on the carpeted floor.
"Do you have Pepsi? I'm really thirsty," Steven told him. He still couldn't understand why they were at Mr. Williams's apartment, or even why they left his grandmother's house to begin with. All his mother had said was to pack some of his clothes and to do it quickly. He knew it had something to do with the man from the department store who'd stopped by to visit.
Angel nodded. "It's in the fridge, Steven. Help yourself." He turned to Buffy. "Would you like one, too?"
"No thanks. Besides, Steven should be drinking milk, not soda. He knows the rules, no soda until after noon," she reminded her son pointedly.
"Aw, Mom. Please?"
"Yeah, Mom. Please?" Angel repeated with a grin, resting his hand on top of Steven's head.
Buffy was nearly floored at the identical expressions of pleading on their faces. Another thing her son had inherited from his father - the pathetic begging look. And both father and son were masters of it. Separately she was immune, but together proved to be too much for her. "All right," she relented. "Just one glass, Steven, then that's it for the day. It's milk and water for you. Understood?"
"Got it. Thanks, Mom!" He ran into the kitchen to get his drink.
Angel laughed at the eight-year-old. "That kid's got you wrapped around his little finger. Gotta admit, I'm kind of jealous."
"All in all, he's a good kid. A little high strung sometimes, but that's to be expected when dealing with a boy who's almost nine years old. He has limitless energy." She sighed heavily, taking a look around. The apartment hadn't changed very much since she'd last been in it. "Angel, I hope we're not putting you out by asking to stay here. We just didn't have anyplace else to go."
"Don't worry about it. I'm...glad you felt comfortable enough to come to me. Look, Buffy, I'm not about to pretend I know what's going on or why you came here. All I know is that I'm glad you did. Come to my place, I mean."
She smiled. "I appreciate that."
"I'm here for you, I hope you know that. Like I told you last night, I love you, that's never changed. And whatever it is, I'll help you through it."
"Good. Because I'm gonna need you."
He brought his hand to her chin, lifting her face as he lowered his own. It seemed to take hours for their lips to finally meet, when in reality it was only seconds. When they did, Buffy felt herself melt into Angel's familiar touch. It was like coming home again. No kiss she'd shared with Lindsey had made her feel that way. She wrapped her arms around him to keep him close to her.
"Mr. W, can I have some coo-" Steven stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his mother and teacher engaged in a passionate kiss. "Ew! I don't wanna see grownups kissing! It's gross."
The two adults broke apart, looking at each other with matching guilty expressions before turning their attention to Steven. "Sorry 'bout that, kid," Angel apologized. "I couldn't help myself. Is it okay if I kiss your mom?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess it's okay. But aren't you scared of getting cooties?" he wanted to know.
"Hey! I take offense to that!" his mother exclaimed. "I give you kisses all the time and I've never given you cooties."
"That's different. You don't kiss me with your mouth open like you kissed Mr. W. Or Lindsey. You give me Mom Kisses."
"I see your point. But can't I get cooties from Mr. Williams?"
Steven shook his head. "Nope. Boys don't have cooties. Just girls."
"He has a valid point, Buffy," Angel said. "And by the way, who's Lindsey?"
"My ex." She wanted to maneuver the conversation away from her love life. It wasn't something she felt comfortable talking about with him. "Uh, where do you want us?"
"Want you?" Angel was confused.
"To sleep. Neither of us mind camping out on the living room floor. It'll be like a camp-out. Steven and I do that once a month."
The young boy's face brightened when he heard his mother's mention of a camp-out. "Yeah! That's fun. Mom and I get our sleeping bags and pillows and sleep on the floor all night. We watch movies and eat popcorn and candy. And then she makes me french toast in the morning."
Angel remembered the night he and Buffy did that. It was two weeks after her seventeenth birthday, but not a great deal of sleep was had that night. The memory brought a smile to his face. "It does sound like fun. But as it turns out, I have an extra bed for you guys. Hope you're not too disappointed."
"But I didn't bring my pillow," Steven realized.
"I have lots of pillows, Steven. Don't worry about it. Now, if you follow me, I'll give you the grand tour. First stop, your bedroom."
"Cool. Hey, did you look at my Spelling test yet? Did I do good? Mom helped me study all night Thursday. She wouldn't even let me watch TV."
He nodded. "Your mom did the right thing because you got a hundred on the test. I just graded it right before you got here. Great job."
"See, Steven? Studying works," Buffy said.
"Did anyone else get a hundred? Was I the only one?"
Angel laughed. "I can't tell you that. Ready to see your room?"
"Ready!"
He looked at Buffy. "You and I are going to have a talk sometime tonight. I want to know what's really going on with you guys."
"I know. And I'll tell you everything I can, I promise."
Later that evening, after Steven went to bed, Buffy and Angel sat in front of the fireplace. She'd been stalling, trying her best to steer the subject away from the reason she and Steven had shown up on his doorstep. Now with her son fast asleep, she'd run out of excuses. Buffy had no choice but to face the music.
"Are we going to talk about this finally?" Angel asked her, putting down his beer and looking at the woman sitting to his right.
Buffy bit her lip. It was the moment of truth. "What do you want to know?"
"Well, for starters, what had you so scared that you came here with packed bags? I've never known you to be afraid of anything, Buffy. Did something happen? Is someone after you? Please, you have to tell me so I can help you two."
"It's a someone, not a something. He's someone I met when I first got to L.A.. I didn't really know him that well, or at all for that matter." She shook her head. "I don't know what was going through my mind, but I said yes when he offered to take me to his room so I could rest. After that I don't remember much else; next thing I know I'm naked in his bed and he's lying next to me. He must have slipped something in my drink because there's no way I would've slept with him otherwise."
"Did he..."
"Yes," Buffy answered, knowing the question Angel was trying to ask. "At least I think he raped me, I really don't know. I have no memory of the act whatsoever. Anyway, I got my things and got the hell out of there. I did my best not to think about him, and things were going along pretty well until last Saturday when Steven and I went shopping. He was there, Riley Finn himself."
Angel narrowed his eyes, recognizing the name. "I know him. Or at least I used to. He was a T.A. for one my classes at UC Sunnydale. I always thought he was a little shifty. If I'd known what he did to you, I'd have killed him. Actually, I'd still love to."
"He was being all nice, like we were old friends or something. All I wanted to do was get the hell away from him. Then he saw Steven and that all changed. Suddenly he was like a man possessed, completely convinced that Steven was his son. He threatened to take him away from me. I couldn't let that happen. Not now, not ever. So we left Los Angeles and came here.
"I thought we were safe, at least for a little while. He was waiting for us this morning in front of my mom's house. Somehow, Riley managed to find us. He told me he's getting a court order for a DNA test, and then he's going to sue me for full custody because I kept Steven from him. Angel, I had to leave again, I couldn't stay there another second. But I couldn't uproot Steven's life for the second time in over a week. You were the first person I thought of to come to. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all. I told you before, I'm here for you. For *both* of you.. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need."
She moved closer to him on the floor. "Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that."
He put his arm around her. It felt like old times again, sitting in front of a roaring fire with Buffy in his arms. Everything was right with the world, but one question was nagging on his mind. "I need to know, Buffy. *Is* Riley Finn Steven's biological father?"
"No."
"Then why run away? If you know he's not the father, why not let him find out for himself?" Angel asked. "Then he'll be out of your lives for good."
"Because I refuse to put my son through that. It's unnecessary testing, that's what it is," she explained to him. "I know who his father is, and it's not Riley Finn. I don't need a blood test to tell me that. It's been a long time since Steven's asked about his father and I'd prefer to keep it that way."
Angel ran a hand through her silky blonde hair. "Why?"
She felt tears welling in her eyes. They were verging on the moment she'd been waiting for since laying eyes on him in that classroom. It was time to tell Angel the truth. "I'm afraid, that's why."
"Are you scared he'll hurt the two of you?"
"No! That's not even a concern. He never laid a hand on me in anger. Never. He was the sweetest, kindest, most gentle man I've ever met. And I loved him more than anything. I still love him."
Hearing those words sent a wave of jealousy through Angel's body. To know Buffy had loved someone that much, someone other than him, hurt to the core. "Then why not tell him he as a son?"
Buffy blinked away the tears, but they continued to burn. "I'm afraid he'll hate me for taking Steven away. Or that he won't even care about us. I can't put Steven through that kind of pain and rejection. It isn't right and he doesn't deserve it."
"You don't know that for a fact," Angel argued. "You could be completely wrong."
"No, you're right. I don't know that. But it's why I left the f-first time. God, I was so afraid you'd l-leave me or make me give h-him up or h-have an ab-abortion," stuttered Buffy.
He was confused. "What do you mean you were afraid I'd leave you? What exactly are you trying to say?"
Taking a deep breath, she looked right into Angel's brown eyes. Her son's eyes. "You're Steven's father. You, Angel. Th-That's why I left all those years ago, because I was pregnant with your baby."
"How? When?" He had so many questions; none of it made any sense to Angel.
"Steven was born October 23, 2003. Do the math."
He did, and closed his eyes with the realization that he really was Steven's biological father. "Your seventeenth birthday."
"The only time we didn't use any protection." Buffy paused. "Okay, so now you can yell and scream at me. You can kick us out if you want, but please wait until morning to make us leave. You have every right to hate me, but Steven's your son."
"I'm not going to yell at you or make you leave, Buffy. But why the hell didn't you tell me? And don't use the excuse that you were scared I'd leave you. You knew me better than anyone, you should have known I'd never leave you alone like that. God, I wanted to marry you. And heaven help me, I still do." Angel shook his head, picturing Steven in his mind. "Why didn't I see it? He looks like me at that age."
Buffy nodded her head in agreement. "I know. That's what Willow told me."
"Willow knows? How many other people know I'm his father? Am I the last to know?" he demanded. Angel suddenly felt like he was being played for a fool.
"I only told my mother, I swear. Willow figured it out by herself when she saw a picture of Steven last week. Look, Angel, I didn't keep the truth from you so I could hurt you. I was just waiting for the right time to tell you everything."
"Well, it does hurt. You didn't trust me enough with the knowledge that we have a child together. Were you ever going to tell me?" He stood up, towering over her.
It was her worst nightmare come to life - Angel *did* hate her for keeping Steven from him. "Angel-"
"Don't. I just found out I have a son. A son whose life I've completely missed out on because you didn't have the decency to tell me he existed. I missed out on his first words, his first steps, his first day of school. His first baseball game or soccer game or football game or...I don't even know if he plays a sport!"
"Baseball," Buffy told him. "He plays baseball. And I didn't tell you when I found out because I never had the chance."
He glared at her. "You've had plenty of chances since then. Eight years worth of chances. Now, instead of seeing me as his father, Steven sees me as his teacher. For the record, I wouldn't have left you. I'd have been there for all of it. The lamaze, the doctor's appointments, the birth. Everything. You, me and Steven would've been a family if you'd bothered to tell me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed. I can't even be in the same room with you."
Angel awoke at five-thirty Monday morning, just as he did every weekday morning when he had to go to work. Padding into the living room, he found Buffy asleep on the couch, her blonde hair falling over her face and a beige afghan covering her body. The last embers of the previous night's fire were beginning to go out, which made him frown. Burning out...the perfect analogy for how he felt about his relationship with Buffy.
Once he'd turned on the coffee maker, Angel made his way to the back of the apartment, stopping at the linen closet to grab a towel for his shower. As he passed the spare bedroom, he opened the door to look upon the sleeping boy in the room. Steven was sleeping so peacefully, he couldn't bear the thought of waking him up, but he wanted to watch his son sleep.
'My son,' Angel said to himself. 'I'm watching my eight-year-old son sleep. Good god, I have a son. With Buffy. This is...I still can't believe it.'
He walked to the bed and pulled the covers over Steven's shoulders. Seeing the smile on his face pulled at Angel's heart. The same little boy he'd felt a pull toward on Tuesday had turned out to be his own flesh and blood. How could he not have seen it? They shared the same eyes, the same lips; Steven Winters was an exact replica of himself at that same age.
He wanted to be angry with Buffy, he really did. She knowingly kept his son from him, kept him from being there for some of the most important moments of Steven's life. But he couldn't. Buffy had given him the most precious gift of all - a son. The one thing he never thought he'd have a chance to have with her. And he was the most perfect little boy in the world.
Steven opened his eyes, looking up to see his teacher standing over his bed. "Mr. Williams?" he whispered groggily.
Angel smiled at him. He wanted so badly to wrap his arms around him, but he had to hold himself back. The night before, he'd stormed off before he and Buffy had an opportunity to discuss what they'd tell Steven. Or when they'd tell him. "Did I wake you up?"
The boy shook his head. "Nope. Is it time to get up already? It looks dark out."
"Not yet. I was just checking on you. You can probably sleep for another hour or so."
"Okay. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Are you and Mommy going to get married?" Steven wanted to know.
His father swallowed hard. It was a question he hadn't given any thought to answering. "I don't know, Steven. That's up to your mom. She might not want to marry me."
"I think she wants to. And I need a Dad. I wish you were my real dad."
He avoided Buffy like the plague that morning at breakfast, not feeling emotionally equipped to talk to her. So as they sat at the table and kept up appearances for Steven's sake, engaging in civilized conversation. But as soon as they left for the school, Buffy broke down and cried. She knew she may very well have ruined her chances at a reconciliation with Angel.
She called her mother at the gallery forty-five minutes after they left, desperately needing someone to talk to. "Sunnydale Art Gallery, Joyce Summers speaking. How can I help you," her mother answered.
"Hi, Mom. It's me."
"Buffy! Oh my god, I've been so worried about you! Where are you? Are you okay? Is Steven all right?" Mrs. Summers asked.
Buffy couldn't help smiling at her mother's concern. "I'm fine. We're both fine, don't worry about us. Steven and I are staying with Angel until things with Riley calm down," she informed her mother.
Mrs. Summers sighed with relief. She'd been so afraid they took off again to parts unknown. "I'm glad you two are safe."
"Mom, I screwed up. Big time."
"Don't worry about it, honey. Everything will be fine. This Riley guy will forget all about you two, and you and Steven can move on with your lives."
She shook her head. "That's not what I'm talking about. I told Angel the truth last night; that he's Steven's father. And believe me when I say he didn't take the news very well. He practically stormed out of the room, he was so angry."
"I know you don't want to hear me say I told you so, but..."
"I know, I know. The thing is, Angel wasn't mad at first, just kinda confused. And I thought he was going to take the news pretty well, he even seemed happy. Then I made the mistake of mentioning that you and Willow knew the truth, and it set him off. Mom, what if he tries to take Steven away from me?"
Her mother sighed once again. "You and I both know Angel's not like that. He loves you, and he wouldn't do anything to hurt Steven. Why don't you try giving him time to adjust to the idea of having a son before jumping to conclusions? He may surprise you."
Things remained tense between them right up until Steven went to sleep. If the young boy noticed anything, he certainly didn't mention it. After they put him to bed at eight-thirty, Angel and Buffy returned to the living room, an awkward silence enveloping them.
"I owe you an apology," Angel said to Buffy not long after they sat down on the couch.
She shook her head. "You don't owe me anything. I deserved it."
"Yes, Buffy, I do owe you an apology. I said some things last night I didn't mean, and took my feelings of hurt and anger out on you. That's not something I make a habit of doing on a regular basis. Finding out I have a son nine years after last seeing you...needless to say, I didn't know how to react. Hence the hurt and anger."
"You had every right to react that way," Buffy told him. "I just blurted out that Steven's your son. And if you want to hate me, that's fine. I'd hate me, too. But please, I'm begging you, Angel, don't take him away from me."
"Look, I'm not Riley Finn. I don't get my kicks out of taking little boys away from their mothers. Especially a mother as wonderful as you. Steven adores you, anyone can see that. So no, I'm not going to take him away from you. I've been thinking about this today. I'd like the opportunity to get to know him, like a real father should. I want to do all those father-son things with him that my dad did with me."
Buffy smiled. He didn't want to take Steven away; her nightmare wasn't coming true. "I know he'd like that."
"And when he's ready, I'd like to be the one to tell him who I really am."
"Eventually."
"You know how I said before that I did a lot of thinking today? Well, one of the things I'd been thinking about is us. Mostly how much I love you and how much I want to be with you. You're the only woman I've ever imagined spending the rest of my life with. Even after you left, that never changed. I want us to be a family; you, me and Steven."
She blinked long and hard, not fully comprehending what Angel was saying. "What are you getting at, Angel?"
"This is what I'm getting at." He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a black velvet case. Opening it up, he showed the contents to Buffy. He'd purchased it on a whim several years earlier with her in mind.
She stared in awe at the diamond engagement ring sitting in the box. "Is that what I think it is?" she questioned him.
"Yes. I know I behaved like an ass last night. Mostly because I was in shock. And I didn't have any right to take it out on you the way I did. Which is exactly why I don't expect an answer of yes to my proposal, but I wanted you to know that I'm serious about us being a family. I've loved you since I was sixteen and I'm going to love you until the day I die. You'd make me the happiest man alive if you'd agree to be my wife someday."
Part of her wanted to say yes and jump into his arms. But she couldn't, not when her life was in such shambles. "I can't, Angel. Not yet."
He nodded, putting the box away. "I understand. It's too much to ask."
"That's not it at all. I want to marry you, I want us to be a family the way we should be. But I've screwed things up so much that I need time to make everything right again. Let me fix the mess I've made before I say yes."
"So you're saying maybe."
"No, I'm saying yes. On the condition that you give me the time I need to get Riley out of our lives. I don't want him hanging over our heads forever."
Angel smiled. At least Buffy wasn't turning hm down. "All right. Just do me a favor and don't make me wait forever."
"I won't. Besides, this is all kinda fast for me, Angel. I mean, I just got back to town a week ago. The last thing I expected was to be back together with you so quickly. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that you still want to be with me. I still want to be with you, too. But so much time has passed, we're not the same two people we were back then."
He placed his palms on her cheeks, cupping her face. Buffy had always been the rational one in their relationship the first time around, that much hadn't changed. And he could see her point, but he was determined to prove to her that they belonged together. "You're right, we aren't the same people. We were teenagers before. Now we're in our twenties and we've both done our fair share of living in the past nine years. But if there's one thing I learned in those nine years, it's that I'd rather be alone than be with someone who isn't you. I didn't realize it before, but I was only going through the motions when I was with Kate. I didn't love her, not the way I love you. I've had sex with other women, I never made love to them. You're the only woman I've ever made love to. And the only one I ever will."
"You mean that?"
"Yes. In fact, I'm going to prove that to you right now if you'll let me. It's been nine years, Buffy. Please let me make love to you. Let me show you that some things get better with time."
She couldn't say no, not when she wanted to just as badly. "I want you to make love to me, too. I mean, I want to make love to you just as much. But Steven..."
Angel stood up, taking her hands in his. "I promise to be very quiet."
Lying in Angel's arms later that night, Buffy smiled contentedly. She hadn't felt so alive in years. Making love to him had awakened places in her body she'd forgotten existed over the past nine years. Suddenly, Buffy felt seventeen again, and sighed with newfound happiness. She knew that it was the beginning of the rest of their lives together.
"Are you okay?" Angel asked her, caressing her cheek.
She nodded. "You bet I am. I'm pleasantly numb. How about you? Are you okay?"
"Very much so. I haven't felt this good in a long, long time."
"So you forgive me for running off like I did?" Buffy wanted to know.
Angel sighed. "Forgive, yeah, I can probably forgive it. I mean, you and Steven are right here where you're supposed to be. But I guess I still don't understand it. What did I do or say that would make you think I didn't want him?"
Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "My mom found out I was pregnant before I did; she found my home pregnancy test while Willow and I were still waiting for the results. And the first thing she told me was that I had options. She didn't want me to keep him, she wanted me to have an abortion or give him up for adoption. I knew I could never kill your baby, or give him up to strangers.
"I spent that entire day being lectured by my mom. By the time I went to bed, it was the only thing I could think about. So I fell asleep and I had this dream. You were in it, Angel; you told me you wanted nothing to do with us. That possibility never even occurred to me until then. When I woke up, I packed my stuff and left; I was so afraid."
"You were afraid I'd reject you? Buffy, we were together for two years. You of all people should have known I would never have done something like that."
"God, Angel, I was seventeen years old! And pregnant!" she practically shouted. "I wasn't exactly thinking rationally at the time." Buffy let a tear slip down the side of her face and it landed on his chest. "I'm sorry for yelling at you like that."
He held her to him. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin their post-coital bliss. The evening had been virtually perfect, from the fireside proposal to their slow, long-awaited lovemaking. "Don't apologize. If I were in your position...well, I don't know if I'd have reacted the exact same way, but I can see why you did what you did. But you don't have to run anymore. The three of us are together now, the way we were meant to be. A family. And I'm not going anywhere."
"You promise?"
Angel rolled them over so that he hovered above her. "I'd have hoped my marriage proposal might have given you an inkling of how I feel about you. I love you. I love Steven. I'm never letting you two go. Ever."
An incessant pounding on the door at six o'clock the next morning roused Buffy and Angel from a peaceful slumber. Neither one of them wanted to get out of bed, or leave each other's arms. But when the knocking didn't stop after a full minute, the couple groaned with annoyance.
"Who the hell could that be?" Buffy wondered, sitting up and turning on the light.
Angel got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. "I have no idea, but whoever it is is seriously going to see my bad side. Stay here, I'll be back in a minute."
He padded into the living room and looked out the peephole to see who it was. When he saw Riley Finn standing in the hallway, Angel rolled his eyes and prepared himself for a fight. 'How did he find them? What, is he stalking Buffy or something?' He opened the door and glared angrily at the man. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" he demanded.
"Where are they?" Riley asked, ignoring Angel's question.
"I have no idea who you're talking about, Finn."
"Don't play dumb with me, Angel. You know exactly who I'm talking about. I know Buffy's staying with you. I saw her walk in last night. And her car is out in the parking lot."
"A lot of people have the same car. Now go away, I'd like to finish sleeping." Angel started to close the door.
Riley put out his hand to stop him. "Not until I have my son. Give me my kid and I'll be out of your hair forever. You can have his little slut of a mother, but I'm not going anywhere without my son."
Angel's blood boiled when Riley referred to Buffy as a "slut." "Steven isn't your son. Buffy would never have given birth to your child."
"She's in denial about it. Look, we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. Either way, I leave with what I came for."
He waited until Riley took a step inside the apartment before he fisted his hand. Before the blonde-haired man knew what was going on, he was laying in his back in the hallway, blood dripping from his nose. "Guess it's the hard way, Riley. Get the hell out of here."
"I'll have you arrested for assault!" he threatened.
Angel smirked. "Go ahead. I'll have you arrested for trespassing, seeing as I never invited you into my home to begin with. I want you to get this through your thick skull. Steven isn't your son."
"I'm getting a court order for a paternity test."
"You've been saying that for a week now. At least that's what Buffy told me. I say go ahead, be my guest. You're only going to humiliate yourself, because the results will show that you don't have a snowball's chance in hell of being Steven's biological father. Wanna know how I know that? Because *I'm* his father." He saw the look of surprise on Riley's face. "Yeah, that's right. Buffy was already pregnant with Steven when you slipped her that drug and forced yourself on her. Not to mention, if you'd bothered to do the math, you'd see that there's no possible way you could be his father. He was born in October, not December."
"If you want to believe her lies, go on. Delude yourself. Who knows how many other guys she slept with besides us. She really is a slut. Maybe neither one of us is the father," Riley stated.
"That's my fiancee you're calling a slut. I'd suggest you leave right now before I call the police. Disturbing the peace, trespassing, attempted kidnapping...I'm sure I can think of a few more before they get here. And I've got a few friends on the force."
Riley narrowed his eyes and wiped his nose. "This isn't over."
"Oh, it is. If I see you around here ever again, I'll do more than just give you a bloody nose."
Angel shut the door behind him and locked it securely. He looked down at his hand and smiled; it had been a long time since he'd hit someone, but he'd never gotten this much satisfaction out of it. When he turned to go back to the bedroom, he found Buffy and Steven clutching each other in the hallway.
"Is he gone?" Steven asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, he's gone."
"For good?"
"I hope."
"Is it true? Are you really my dad?" the eight-year-old wanted to know.
The older man lifted his eyes to Buffy, seeing if it was okay to tell him. She nodded in response. "Yes, I am. Is it okay that I'm your real dad?"
"Yes. I like you. And Mommy loves you. Are we gonna be a family now?"
Angel caught sight of the diamond ring adorning the ring finger of Buffy's left hand. "You bet we are, Steven," he promised.
The End