"It Matters To Me"
Author: Ashlee
Contact: ashlee_999@hotmail.com
Dating
True to his word, Spike stayed the night and every consecutive night thereafter for six weeks on the couch. He made sure to wake up as often as he could with the babies, but Buffy insisted she be the one to wake up the most since Spike had to go to work every day. The two had a standing Friday night dinner date, with Giles coming over to watch the babies.
Slowly, Buffy was more willing to leave the house one night a week. The first night that Giles insisted they get out and go see a movie, Spike was certain he would have to sit on Buffy in the theater since she kept trying to jump up and call home to check on the babies.
Spike hadn't made a move to push the relationship. The most intimacy they had was a tender good-night kiss on their most recent date. Now, as they strolled through the park, hand in hand, on their standard date night, both enjoyed the soothing cool December air. Stopping at a picnic table, Spike leaned against the flat surface and pulled Buffy into his arms, tenderly kissing her forehead.
Buffy sighed and rested her face against his strong chest. "This is nice," she murmured quietly.
"Yeah," Spike said softly, resting his chin on top of her head as his arms tightened around her body.
"I missed you," she whispered, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes.
Spike smiled down at her. "I'm right here."
Buffy shook her head. "I mean before. I missed you so much, and it was all my fault that you weren't there."
"Why'd you push me away, Buffy?" he asked softly, his voice full of concern.
Buffy nervously played with the lapels of his jacket before answering. "I was scared. I thought that…everyone has always left me…in one form or another. I thought it would be better to push you away than wait for you to decide to leave me."
"And now?"
"Now…I'm not grieving anymore. I still miss my mom, but I have Brandon and Lauren. I have you," she said quietly, looking into his eyes. "Don't I?"
"You've always had me, Goldilocks," Spike said with a smile.
Buffy felt tears burn her eyes as she smiled. "I never meant to hurt you. I should have just told you what I was thinking, but I had so much going on in my head that I just didn't. I'm so sorry, Spike," she said in a choked whisper.
Spike tightened his hold on her. "That ever happens again, I want you to talk to me. I don't care if you don't make any sense- I want you to get it off your chest. No matter what, I'm here to stay, Buffy."
Buffy tilted her head to look into his eyes. "I promise."
Spike breathed a sigh of relief before leaning forward to meet her lips in a soft, tender kiss. Neither made a move to deepen it, both enjoying the contented feeling of being together again.
Pulling away after a few moments, Spike smiled as Buffy snuggled closer to him. "Move in with me."
Spike felt his smile broaden. "I've been there every night for over a month, luv."
"You know what I mean," she said, turning to look at him again. "You should just move all your stuff in. I know you don't want to go back to your place and leave the twins."
"Or you," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling when he saw the blush rise to her cheeks.
"What do you think?"
"Are you sure?"
Buffy nodded. "I'm not ready for you to not be here."
"I'll be moved in by tomorrow."
Buffy squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck, giggling as he lifted her in the air to swing her around in a circle. Coming to a stop, Spike sat Buffy on the table and stood close to her, never unwrapping his arms from her body.
"Are you sure about this?" Spike asked softly.
"I've never been more sure about anything," Buffy leaned forward to claim his lips once again before pulling back to stare into his eyes. "I'm going back to school," she said softly.
"That's great, luv," Spike said with a smile. "What about the twins?"
Buffy glanced down, biting her lip. "If it's okay with you, I was going to put them in daycare. It's just for three days a week. I'm only taking a few classes, but I didn't know how you'd feel about it."
Spike seemed to consider it for a moment before answering. "What about me?"
"Spike, you work."
"Depends on the days. I'm also being pushed back onto the nightshift more, so I could work something out. That is, if you feel okay with it."
Buffy smiled. "Spike, of course I feel okay. I just didn't think you'd have the time."
"We'll work something out," Spike said, kissing her forehead. "I'll talk to my boss tomorrow."
Buffy hopped down from the table, grabbing his hand and began walking out of the park. "Come on," she said, pulling his hand like a little girl. "All this talk about the babies makes me want to get back to them."
Spike chuckled before dropping her hand and breaking into a run. "Race you!"
Buffy took off after him. "No fair!" she shouted. "My legs are shorter- little people should get head starts!"
Spike laughed and turned around, jogging backwards as Buffy tried to catch up with him. "What's the matter, Summers? I thought you were faster than this."
Putting on a burst of speed, Buffy was able to catch up to Spike, but he kept a level pace with her. Several minutes later, both stopped on her street as they took in deep gulps of air. Walking up the porch steps, Spike took Buffy's hand before she could open the door. Giving it a little tug, Buffy smiled when she found herself in his arms. "I had fun tonight, Goldilocks," he whispered, nuzzling her neck.
"Me, too," she said softly, tilting her head to give him better access.
Spike lazily trailed kisses up to her jaw line before meeting her lips in a tender kiss. Pulling away, he looked into her eyes, brushing the hair away from her flushed face. "We're going to make this work this time."
"I know we will," Buffy said with a smile.
Loving
Buffy and Spike said goodnight to Giles before bolting up the stairs to check on the babies. Both were sound asleep in their bassinets. Though they were still sleeping in their bassinets, Spike had convinced Buffy to start putting them in their separate rooms to make it easier on them in the long run.
Spike went to check on Brandon while Buffy went into Lauren's room. She jumped slightly when she felt strong arms encircle her waist. Spike stood next to her, looking over her shoulder at their sleeping daughter.
"She looks just like you, you know," he whispered into Buffy's ear.
Buffy smiled, leaning back to rest her head against his strong chest. "Is that good or bad?"
Spike turned Buffy around to face him, pushing her hair away from her shoulders to gently cup her face. "That's very good," he said with a soft smile. "Until she starts dating, and then we're going to have some problems when she starts bringing boys home."
"What if they're like you?"
Buffy tried to suppress a laugh as Spike's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "They bloody well better not be like me," he said, more loudly than he intended.
"You turned out alright," Buffy said with a smile, glancing back at the baby, who was beginning to squirm from the noise. Taking Spike's hand, she led him out into the hallway.
"I only turned out alright because I had you there to straighten me out."
Buffy giggled. "So, you're saying you'd be okay with it, as long as she could straighten him out?"
Buffy laughed as Spike let out a growl, backing her into the wall as he put one of his hands on each side of her head. "She's not dating till she's thirty…or I'm dead. That might work out better for me."
"I'm sure she won't argue about that," Buffy said sarcastically as she wrapped her arms around his waist, propping her chin against his chest.
Both noticed the change in mood at the simple gesture. Spike's hands left the wall to soothingly run along her upper arms, staring deep into her eyes. Leaning down, he captured her lips in a soft kiss, one hand slowly coming up to her jaw as his lips glided over hers. Pulling away after a few moments, Spike pressed his forehead to Buffy's, breathing heavily as he tried to control his arousal.
"Stay," Buffy whispered, staring up at him.
"I always stay, luv," he said quietly, not wanting to misinterpret the meaning of her words.
"Spend the night with me...please," she added, looking at him with hopeful eyes.
"Are you sure, Buffy?"
Her hands slowly began sliding up his chest, coming to lock behind his neck. "I've never been more sure of anything," she said softly, pulling his head down to hers for another kiss.
Spike watched as Buffy slowly sat down on her bed, taking him by the hand to pull him toward her. He hadn't felt this nervous since his first time, and he couldn't figure out why. He had obviously been with Buffy before, but something about tonight felt different.
Spike crawled the length of her body and lay down at her side, facing Buffy and rubbing lazy circles along her back, both enjoying the intimacy of just being with each other. Slowly, her lips met his in a passionate kiss as she pushed away from the bed, never letting her lips leave his.
Spike moaned as Buffy straddled him, his hands automatically going to her thighs and gripping them harder than he intended as her body arched against his. Both were still fully clothed, but the friction they were causing each other was slowly making them crazy with lust.
Buffy's hands traveled to the buttons of Spike's shirt, slowly working on each one until the shirt fell away from his chest. Her hands began stroking the strong muscles, smiling against his lips when she felt the effect she was having on him.
Before Buffy knew what was happening, she found her shirt stripped off as Spike flipped them to lay on top of her. Sitting up slightly, he let his own shirt fall to the floor as he slid Buffy's pants down her legs, leaving her in a black lace thong and bra.
Spike frowned when he saw Buffy try and modestly cover her body. Quickly meeting his lips with hers, he pulled back and stared in her eyes. "What's wrong, luv? You don't have to be nervous with me."
Buffy looked down, embarrassed as she traced a finger along his chest. "I look different now."
Spike's eyes widened in realization before pulling back to gently run his hands over her exposed skin. "You look beautiful," he whispered, kissing her again as he let one hand slip around to unhook her bra. "You've never looked more desirable, Buffy," he said, his voice thick with emotion as he moved further down to remove her thong. Spike stood from the bed to rid himself of the rest of his clothes as he stared at her nude body. It was true- she had never looked more beautiful to him. Her breasts were more full, her hips had a slight curve to them that hadn't been there before, and her skin seemed to glow.
Spike lay back down, letting his hands follow the direction of his eyes as he glided him over her body, smiling when she moaned and arched against him. Settling himself between her legs, he tenderly caressed her cheek. "No chance of getting pregnant this time?" he asked with a slight smile.
Buffy smiled as she shook her head. "No, not this time."
Spike bent his head to kiss along the column of her neck. "Good," he whispered between kisses, pulling back to look at her again. "Because I love those two, but I don't want another one in nine months."
Buffy giggled, pulling him back down for a kiss as her hands ran through his hair, loosening it from the confining hold of the gel and freeing the curls.
Breaking away for air, Spike tried to control his breathing. "It's safe?" he asked in a worried tone.
"Spike, I just told you-"
"No," Spike said, shaking his head. "I mean, is it safe for us to be doing this? Because of the surgery?"
"It's safe," she said quietly, arching her hips slightly to meet his, both gasping as they felt him begin to penetrate her folds.
Spike slid forward, dropping his head to rest on Buffy's shoulder, as he tried to control his desire. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in this woman, but he had to force himself to wait.
Buffy moaned as she raised her body, effectively imbedding him fully inside of her as they began rocking slowly together. Spike pulled back to stare into her eyes as they both tried to regulate their breathing. He tightened his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to delay the orgasm that was already building.
Buffy reached up to gently touch Spike's cheek, causing him to open his eyes again. Both stared at each other, never feeling this amount of intimacy before as they moved together. Spike began to steadily pick up his pace, feeling satisfaction course through him at the obvious pleasure he was causing her.
Buffy's hands clutched at Spike's shoulders as she struggled to maintain eye contact, neither wanting to lose the connection to the other. Spike let his hands slide around to her back, pulling her closer to his body, not wanting to let go.
Spike smiled when he felt her fingernails dig into his shoulders as she gasped, throwing her head back into the pillow, clenching her inner muscles around him as a mini-orgasm coursed through her body. She panted for air as her eyelids fluttered open, meeting his gaze again.
After a few more minutes, Spike began pushing harder into her body, knowing he wouldn't last much longer but wanting to send her over the edge one more time. Meeting her lips again in a tender kiss, Spike pulled back to press his forehead against hers. "I love you," he whispered.
Buffy's eyes widened before pulling him back down for another kiss. After a moment, they broke away. "I love you, too," she said softly, seconds before she felt the explosion course through her body. Writhing underneath him as Spike sped up his thrusts, she cried out in ecstasy as he spilled himself within her.
Spike felt his body go limp, careful not to crush Buffy as he rolled them slightly, still connected to each other as they lay side by side. Buffy stared at him with glazed eyes as he traced her cheeks, letting his hand trail down her body to rest on the curve of her hip.
"I love you, so much," he said, delighting in the smile that lit up her face.
"I love you," she whispered.
Spike smiled, neither making a move to separate themselves, both enjoying the closeness they were sharing. Spike wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her closer as she snuggled closer to him. After a few minutes, they both drifted off to sleep, each feeling more content than they had in a year.
Epilogue - 5 Years Later
"Giles, are you sure you're gonna be okay?"
"Buffy, we'll be fine, go on and have a good time."
"Mommy! Brandon put Play-Dough in my hair!"
"Daddy! Lauren wouldn't stop bugging me! I told her to leave, but she didn't listen!"
"Don't make me come up those bloody stairs, because you don't want me up there! You're mother and I are about to leave and you two better be good!"
"Spike, don't say 'bloody' in front of the kids."
"Will you two please leave me alone with my grandchildren? Go! Have a good time. We'll be fine."
"Okay, Giles, all the numbers are on the refrigerator. We're just going to dinner and a movie-"
"Buffy, will you be quiet and come on. We're going to be late."
"I know. The kids need to eat in about half an hour. Emily's bottle is ready to be warmed-"
"Buffy!" Spike yelled from outside. "If you don't leave that bloody house in five seconds, I'm celebrating our anniversary alone. Dad's kept the kids before, he can handle it."
"Go, dear," Giles said, pushing Buffy toward the door. "Have a good time. Don't worry about a thing. This is the first night you've had out since Emily was born, so enjoy it."
"Okay, thanks, Giles. You two be good for Pop-pop!" Buffy yelled up the stairs.
"We will," two falsely innocent voices traveled down to her ears.
"Oh, and one more-"
Buffy was abruptly cut off as Spike appeared behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist he lifted her into his arms and started out the door. "Good night, kids," Spike called up the stairs. "Bye, Dad."
Giles chuckled as he watched his son carry his daughter-in-law out of the house.
"Spike! Put me down!" Buffy squealed.
"Not until the woman I married comes back."
"What are you talking about?"
"Dad's kept the kids before. He can handle it," he said, putting her in the car before walking around to the other side and getting in.
"I know. It's just the first time he's been alone with all three, and you know the twins are probably plotting something."
"Buffy, they're only five," Spike said as he pulled the car out of the driveway.
"Only five? Spike, when they were four, you stepped out of the shower with hot pink hair."
"So they did a little experimentation with the shampoo. No big deal, and besides, Dad won't be taking a shower- they'll be fine."
"You weren't that calm when you looked in the mirror to see your new hairstyle."
"I'd feel better about it if you'd tell me where you've hidden the soddin' pictures."
Buffy giggled. "Now, why would I want to do that?"
Spike growled in frustration before a smile spread to his lips. Reaching over, he steered the car with one hand and interlaced Buffy's fingers with his. Buffy smiled as he brought her hand to his lips, leaving a tender kiss on it and smiling at her out of the corner of his eye.
"I love you, Spike."
"I know, baby. I love you, too."
Both stayed quiet as they watched the Sunnydale scenery flash by. They were celebrating their fourth wedding anniversary tonight, but it was also Buffy's first night away from their new daughter Emily. The baby was only three weeks old, but through the persuasion of both Spike and Giles, she had been convinced to take a much needed night off.
Buffy had graduated from UC Sunnydale and gotten a job as a Guidance Counselor at Sunnydale High. The hours were perfect since she had to be there an hour after she dropped the kids off at their school, and she was off work a half hour before the end of the school day.
Spike was no longer the manager of the restaurant- he was now the owner. Setting his own hours, he spent most nights at home with his wife and kids, choosing to work during the day instead.
Spike parked the car and got out to jog around and open Buffy's door for her. Helping her out, Spike shut the door behind her and gently pushed her against it, kissing her lovingly before pulling back to stare into her eyes. It still shocked him how much love and adoration he saw reflected in them. Although, he knew the same emotions were mirrored back from his own.
"Happy anniversary, Spike," Buffy whispered, wrapping her arms around her husband's waist.
Spike smiled before leaning in for another kiss. Pulling away, he tenderly rested his forehead against hers. "Happy anniversary, Goldilocks."
The End