"Irresistible Temptation"
Author: Ashlee
Contact: ashlee_999@hotmail.com
Never Better
Spike curled his body protectively around Buffy, watching her as she slept. A frown marred his features as he studied her. He had been all too happy when things had progressed between them, but he couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that something was wrong.
Closing his eyes when he heard Buffy's breathy moan as she cuddled closer to him, his arm tightened around her. He hated the idea of waking her up, but he was guessing they'd been asleep for several hours, and his father would probably be there in an hour or two.
"Buffy," he whispered, smiling when she held him tighter. "Buffy, luv," he said a little louder. "Rise and shine."
A soft noise escaped her lips as she rolled away from him, her arm stretching above her head, and Spike smiled at the delicious view he was getting of her naked body. The smile soon faded as his brow furrowed. Slowly extending his hand to brush along her stomach, Spike gently traced over a faded scar, barely visible in the dim light.
"What's this from, luv?"
"What?" Buffy asked, still half asleep, before she looked down at his hand. Spike saw her eyes widen slightly before she moved to sit up. Catching her arm as she tried to make her escape, Spike pulled her back down to his lap, looking at her in confusion.
"What's it from?"
"Um…bike accident when I was younger," she said, avoiding her eyes, her words practically coming out as a question. 'That's what happened to regular kids, right?' she asked herself.
"On your stomach?" he asked skeptically.
"Umm…yeah."
Seeing the indecision on Spike's face, she could practically hear the questions that he was about to ask. Thinking fast, Buffy moved to straddle his waist, pulling him close to her for a searing kiss. The hesitation in his response was starting to worry her when she felt his arms wrap around her waist in a tight hold before pulling back to look at her.
"You're trying to distract me."
"No, I'm not," she said with an innocent expression. "There's nothing to be distracting you from."
"I think these would tell me differently, Buffy," he said, tracing his hand over a few more pale scars that were barely visible on her skin.
"I told you, it happened when I was younger."
Before Spike could say anymore, Buffy lifted herself and sunk down on his hard cock, arching her back into his body and smiling when she felt him tense beneath her.
"You're trying to distract me," he said again with a groan.
"Am not," Buffy said with a small pout.
Without hesitating, Spike sat up, wrapping his arms around her and eliciting a gasp from her at the new position. He could feel Buffy begin moving faster, grinding her hips against his. The friction building between them was almost painful as she pushed harder against him.
"Slow down, luv," he whispered, gripping her hips to try and still her movements.
"I can't," Buffy said in a breathless voice. "You feel too good, Spike."
"You do too, baby, but-"
"Harder," she gasped.
All thoughts left his brain at the simple command. His hands tightened on her hips, feeling the intensity of the moment wash over them as he forcefully pumped into her.
"Harder, Spike."
"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered, feeling himself spiraling out of control.
"What if I want you to hurt me?" she murmured, pressing her forehead against his.
Spike's eyes flew open, wondering what she was asking him. "Buffy?"
"It's alright, Spike," she whispered, brushing her lips over his. "I can take whatever you give to me."
Somewhere deep in the recesses of Spike's mind, he knew that there was something wrong with those words, but being buried inside of the most amazing woman he'd ever been in contact with, was not the time to try and make his brain form a thought.
Flipping them over, he felt Buffy tense when she came in contact with the cool floor, but she eagerly matched his thrusts, spreading her legs wider to encourage him. Spike was panting with the new feeling as he pressed his head against her shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut.
Buffy gasped when his lips gently sucked at the soft skin of her throat, running lazy patterns along her neck. Something felt too tender about the moment, and Buffy felt herself clam up at the different emotions she was feeling.
Grabbing his hair, she pulled him away, smashing her lips to his in a frantic kiss. Breaking away from him, she smiled as he noticeably began to lose control
"So bloody tight, luv," he rasped in a voice she barely recognized.
Spike wanted to be more cautious and tender with her, but Buffy was having none of it as her hips slammed against his with bruising force. Her moans seemed to drive him on, causing him to plunge into her, eagerly meeting her thrusts.
"Spike- yes!" Buffy screamed, gasping when their hips met and grinded together. Her hands clung to him, urging him on- willing him to hurt her.
Trying to slow down once more, Spike soon realized he was fighting a losing battle when Buffy raised her legs to give him better access to her body. Ramming into her, he felt her muscles contract around him in a stranglehold, triggering his own climax. Her screams of pleasure echoed in the open space.
After several long minutes, their hips continued to churn together, eliciting small gasps and moans from Buffy. He could feel himself harden inside of her again and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, running his hands through her hair in soothing motions.
Buffy felt the tender, slow pace of his thrusts and tensed up.
'You don't deserve this.'
The mantra seemed to run through her head as her body went rigid. She didn't want love and tenderness. She wanted misery and pain.
She knew what that was. She knew how to survive it.
Spike felt the tension but misread the reason behind it.
"It's alright, luv," he whispered, trailing kisses along her jaw. "I've got you…won't let go."
Buffy closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. This wasn't a situation she could control, and she didn't want to lose herself in him. She wanted hard and violent, not soft and tender.
'He deserves more than this,' Buffy thought as Spike's lips sought hers again.
Giving into the sensation of the kiss for a brief moment, Buffy lightly pushed against his chest, earning her a strange look.
"What's wrong?" he asked, tilting his head in concern.
"I…I j-just think that we should get dressed."
Spike looked at her in confusion before a smirk crossed his features. "Well, that's one request I've never had in this situation."
"I just think your dad could show up any minute," she said weakly.
"Yeah," Spike agreed, reluctantly pulling out of her warmth and helping her to her feet.
Getting dressed in silence, he kept an eye on Buffy, seeing how closed off she appeared to be. Walking up behind her as she attempted to smooth her hair, Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, frowning when she immediately went rigid in his arms. Nuzzling her neck, he planted soft kisses along any exposed skin he could find, doing what he could to get her to relax.
"I don't know what you're thinking," he whispered into her ear, smiling against her skin when he felt the shiver run through her body. "But I don't want this to end."
Buffy turned in his arms, her eyes wide as she stared at him. "I-I don't either," she mumbled, surprised at her words, since she was preparing herself for a completely different answer.
"Good to know," he said with a smile, brushing his lips against hers.
"I don't think we should tell your dad."
Spike studied her for a moment, seeing how important it was to her. "Alright, luv," he agreed with a nod. "It'll be our little secret."
Stealing another kiss, both jumped at the foreign sound of the door rattling.
"William? Buffy?"
"We're down here," Spike yelled, smoothing Buffy's hair for her as she nervously fidgeted with her clothes.
"What happened?" Giles asked, earning a roll of the eyes from Spike.
"Let me ask you something, Da- how did you get down here?" he asked.
Giles looked around and then noticed the keys in his hand and smiled sheepishly. "I guess I should make sure the door is unlocked before I leave from now on. Are you two alright?"
Spike turned around under the pretense of grabbing his duster but secretly giving Buffy a sexy smirk. "Never better."
The One That Matters
Brushing a kiss to Buffy's forehead, Spike smiled when she moaned in contentment and snuggled closer to him. He relished the feeling that she gave him when she was asleep in his arms. They had been together for over two weeks, and the only time he was able to show her any tenderness without her tensing up was when she was asleep. He'd tried to broach the topic several times, but she always shied away from it, changing the subject.
Spike had never felt this way about anyone, not even Drusilla, and the idea that the tiny blonde had evoked so many emotions in such a short amount of time was more than a little unnerving. He already knew he didn't want to lose her, but he felt like he couldn't hold onto her. Like a little more of her was slipping away everyday.
Pulling Buffy closer to his chest, Spike closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her hair, instantly feeling calm at the aroma of honeysuckle seemed to float around him. With a sigh, he brushed his lips against hers, wishing she would be more open with him. He had tried to get to know her over the past few weeks, but he still felt like he was on the outside looking in at what he couldn't have. He had her and he knew it, but at the same time he felt like he was so close and didn't have her. He felt like he was alone even when he was holding her.
Spike knew that her mother died when she was young, but she was reluctant to talk about it or anything that happened as a result. He had assumed she went to live with her father but didn't push the subject.
Buffy sighed in her sleep, unconsciously snuggling closer to him, her body seeking the warmth and comfort that he provided.
'If only she would do the same thing when she was awake,' he thought, staring into her peaceful face.
All Spike wanted to do was make love to her, but she always seemed to evade his advances. The words 'make love' never even left her mouth. More often than not, it was 'fuck' or 'screw', which didn't serve to settle any of Spike's unease. He didn't mind rough sex. Hell, he would bow down before her if she wanted him to. They had a raw, passionate, consuming relationship, but that didn't sway his thoughts that he wanted to treat her the way she deserved to be treated, if she would only let him.
He knew that the secret of how to open her up was in her past- he just couldn't seem to figure out how to unlock it.
Hearing a soft sigh, Spike smiled when he saw her eyes begin to sleepily blink awake as she graced him with a soft smile.
"Morning, beautiful," he said, watching the blush rise to her cheeks.
"Morning," she said in a soft voice, signaling she wasn't completely awake. "How long have you been awake?"
"Not long," he murmured, kissing the skin below her ear and feeling her tense beneath him. With a sigh, Spike pulled away. "Talk to me," he whispered, brushing the hair out of her face.
"About what?"
"You want to be with me, right?" he asked, a trace of William-like insecurity creeping into his voice.
Buffy giggled, looking at their intertwined bodies, lying intimately in her bed, the way they had been every night and morning for the last two weeks. "I think you could have chosen a better time to ask that than when I'm naked in your arms."
"You know what I mean, Buffy," Spike replied, his brow furrowed as he watched her carefully.
Suddenly realizing the seriousness of the conversation, Buffy pulled away from him, crawling out of bed and wrapping herself in a robe. She wanted to feel some kind of reassurance in the simple act of covering herself.
"What are you asking me, Spike?"
Rolling over, Spike stretched his arms and clasped them behind his head. "I'm trying to get a little insight," he said with a serious expression, studying her carefully.
"Insight into what?" Buffy asked with insecurity heavy in her voice. "Me?"
"Of course you," he said in a gentle tone.
Sighing and averting her eyes, Buffy walked over to the window. "What do you want to know?"
"Why don't you let me touch you?" Spike asked, climbing out of bed and slipping on a pair of his sweatpants.
Buffy looked at him incredulously. "I just woke up in your arms after having sex with you for the better half of the night- I think that qualifies as touching."
"Yeah?" Spike replied skeptically as he walked toward her. Pulling her close to his body he wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his hands tenderly caress her stomach and arching an eyebrow when she immediately tried to pull away. "Why?" he asked again.
"I don't know," Buffy replied, feeling guilty for the little white lie, but it didn't stop her from continuing to back away from him. "I-I just don't like it…please don't push me on this."
Taking a deep breath, Spike stepped toward her again, gently pulling her close in the way he knew that she liked. "How many men have you been with?"
Buffy tensed, practically jerking her body away from him as the past threatened to spill the memories that she wanted to bury. "Why?"
"I know you're not a virgin, Buffy. I'm just wondering," he said, trying to keep his tone light.
"Well, how many women have you been with?" she countered.
"Three," Spike responded immediately, his eyes never leaving hers. "Four, counting you. Your turn."
Swallowing and nervously wringing her hands together, Buffy avoided his strong gaze. "You're the only one that mattered," she murmured, knowing that she was laying a lot on the line, but it was the only answer that wanted to come out.
Spike felt his heart swell but frowned when he realized she'd avoided the question altogether. "Buffy-"
"Spike, just drop it, okay?" she said angrily, walking to the other side of the room, moving quickly before he pulled her back to him.
"Is the number so high you don't want to tell me?" Spike asked, getting defensive at her angry tone. He didn't care how many men she'd been with, but he did care that she didn't want to be honest with him.
Feeling tears spring to her eyes, Buffy turned to look at him with a hurt expression. "That's really not the issue," she said softly, walking out the door.
Father Knows Best
Rupert Giles was not a stupid man. He graduated top of his class at Oxford and went on to become a successful businessman before entering semi-retirement and buying the Magic Box. He prided himself on being able to read into situations more than people would expect. It gave him a distinct advantage that so many underestimated.
So it did not go unnoticed when his son's happiness practically radiated off the charts.
It also didn't go unnoticed- the secret looks and touches that were exchanged between Buffy and William.
Most of all, it didn't go unnoticed when the two began avoiding each other completely.
"How are you, son?" Giles asked one morning at breakfast, watching the exhausted young man get a strong cup of coffee and sit down across from him.
"Alright," Spike muttered, grimacing at the taste of the bitter liquid but taking a large swallow anyway.
"Is there anything you would like to talk about?"
Spike shot his father a glare, narrowing his eyes slightly as he wondered what was going on in the older man's head. "Nothing I can think of," he replied skeptically.
"Alright," Giles replied, turning his attention back to the newspaper in front of him. "But if you ever need to talk, you know you can…"
He trailed off when he saw his son instantly sit up straighter, his shoulders becoming rigid and his eyes trained on the doorway. Giles turned around in time to see Buffy walk through and pause when her eyes met Spike's.
"Good morning, Buffy," Giles said with a smile, pretending to be oblivious to the obvious tension that seemed to flow through the room when she entered.
"Morning, Giles," she said with a soft smile, avoiding Spike's eyes while she walked over to the refrigerator.
"Are you kids hungry?" he asked, looking back and forth between the two blondes. "I can whip us up a quick breakfast."
"I'm fine," Buffy said, closing the refrigerator door after pulling out a small orange juice bottle. "I'm not really that hungry," she muttered, glancing at Spike before averting her eyes.
"You need to eat, Buffy," Giles said, putting on his best 'father' voice. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
"Raincheck?" she replied, trying to keep her tone lighthearted. "I'll leave you two alone."
Spike's eyes seemed to follow the young woman throughout the room, his shoulders sagging when she walked away.
"You really should apologize," Giles said with a disinterested look, sipping his tea and making sure to never let his eyes leave the newspaper.
"How did…apologize for what?" Spike asked skeptically, not wanting to let on more than he had to.
"Well, it's obvious you've had an argument, and if you want to get back in her good graces, you may want to apologize."
"And if it wasn't my fault?"
"Doesn't matter," Giles replied, never looking up.
"I asked her a simple question, and she gave me the runaround."
"Doesn't matter."
"She's the one that walked away!" Spike cried indignantly.
"Doesn't matter," Giles said, never once looking up as he sipped his tea.
Spike slouched into his chair, rolling his eyes when his father looked up to shoot him a glare for not sitting up straight. "How much do you know?"
"That you're together or at least…you were."
"How do you know that?" Spike asked, his brows knit together in confusion and frustration.
"Because the two of you were happy," Giles said with a sigh, abandoning the paper. "It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. And judging by your attitude the past few days, something had to have happened for such a drastic change in both of you."
Spike stared at his father for a long moment as he went back to the newspaper.
"The old man isn't as blind as you thought, eh?"
Spike smirked, getting up from the table and clapping Giles on the shoulder as he passed. "That's a matter of opinion, Da."
Spike quietly walked through her bedroom door, smiling when he saw Buffy lying on her bed, her feet propped up on the headboard as she read a magazine. She couldn't see him from the angle that she was laying, and Spike took a moment to enjoy watching her.
She was so relaxed, so at ease…so young.
Frowning at the last thought, Spike shook his head. He was only a few years older than her, and she was nineteen.
"We have to talk," Spike said softly
Buffy practically leapt off the bed, spinning around to face him. "I really don't," she said, assuming a defensive stance, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well, this isn't just about you," he replied, pushing the door closed. "As much as you'd like it to be."
"You spoke. I listened. Now leave."
"I'm sorry," he said with a soft sigh. "I shouldn't have pushed you, but…damn it, Buffy, why couldn't you just answer the question?"
"Because it's none of your business, Spike," she said tearfully. "Why do you want to know so badly?"
"Because I care about you."
"Then please don't ask me about…my past."
Spike became more concerned when he heard those words, but he noticed she was slowly approaching him so he wisely kept his mouth shut, not wanting to scare her away.
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Buffy wrapped her arms around his lean waist, giving him a soft smile when he pulled her closer to him. "If…if I know everything between us will be okay…I'll tell you."
"You don't know if you can trust me?" Spike asked, trying to keep the accusation out of his voice.
"I just have some…issues. I need to tell you about them on my own terms."
"Alright, luv," he whispered. "Whenever you're ready, I'll be here."
Finally relaxing in his arms, Buffy rested her head against his chest. "Thank you," she murmured.
"You're welcome, luv," Spike said softly, hooking a finger under her chin and raising her eyes to his. "I didn't mean to push you."
"I didn't mean to make you mad."
Both closed their eyes when their lips hesitantly brushed together, each giving and taking what they needed.
Secrets & Lies
Buffy eagerly paced through the foyer, waiting on Spike to get home from work. It had been a week since Spike agreed to give her some time, and Giles had gone out of town for a short vacation. She had wanted to work that night, but he and Spike had both insisted that she had been working too much and needed to take the night off.
Hearing the car pull into the driveway, Buffy gave an excited little hop, throwing the door open. She gave Spike a bright smile when he practically ran toward her, picking her up and kicking the door shut as he fused his lips with hers.
"Missed you, baby," he said in a husky whisper when they pulled away.
"Missed you, too," Buffy replied, giggling as he carried her up the stairs. "I don't like being in this big, lonely house all by myself."
"Poor baby," Spike said with a pout, smiling when it earned another giggle from Buffy, wishing he could hear that wonderful laugh all the time. "So what did you do to pass the time?"
"Oh, the usual," Buffy said, tossing her hair over her shoulder as he reached the top of the stairs. "Made myself dinner, read a little bit, rented some porn. You know…your basic Saturday night."
Barely able to keep a straight face as Spike's eyes widened in shock, Buffy finally giggled. "I'm just kidding, Spike," she said with an innocent expression. "I didn't read anything."
Spike finally realized she was stringing him along and freed one of his hands to begin mercilessly tickling her.
"Stop," Buffy squealed, squirming around in his arms and laughing as she tried to break free.
Their eyes met and the mood instantly changed. Both felt short of breath as they looked at each other, seconds before Spike's lips crashed down on hers with bruising force.
Pushing her toward her bedroom, his hands eagerly ran across the soft curves of her body. Shutting the door to her room, Buffy gasped when Spike pressed her against it and devoured her mouth with his. Her hands frantically moved to his shirt, ripping it apart and sending buttons flying in every direction.
Spike smirked, picking her up and pivoting on his heel to toss her on the bed. Her eyes widened when she saw him advancing on her like a predator before his body pinned her to the bed. She closed her eyes as images seemed to assault her from all directions, breaking through the carefully built walls that she had struggled to maintain.
"No!" Buffy screamed, trying to fight against the large man who easily pushed her down to the bed.
Frantically trying to get away, she managed to get to her feet but was easily restrained and thrown back onto the filthy mattress as he pulled off his belt and unbuttoned his jeans.
"Please, no," she cried, as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Not again. Stop!"
Every night. Every night he brutally raped her and there wasn't a thing she could do to stop him.
Spike removed his belt, not knowing that the rigid way she was holding her body was out of terror and not anticipation.
Buffy heard the sound of the leather whizzing through the loops and felt as if she was choking as everything became too much to handle. She moved to sit up, but Spike held her in place, leaving soft kisses on her skin.
"No," she murmured in an imperceptible voice that she couldn't even hear.
Spike pushed her skirt over her hips, ripping the thong from her body and positioning himself at her entrance. Kissing along her collarbone and neck, he was barely inside of her when he heard a sob.
"No," she said louder, causing Spike to tense and pull back to look at her.
"Buffy?"
Every feeling overwhelmed her as she remembered the past that she had tried so hard to suppress. "No!" she cried, not seeing Spike anymore. She could only see her so-called foster father on top of her. "Please don't do this!" she sobbed. "Please, no! Not again!"
"Buffy!" Spike cried, trying to get her attention as he pulled out of her and rolled them, hoping that if he wasn't crowding her, she would calm down. "Buffy, it's me," he said, running his hands through her hair, cupping her face in his hands and trying to get her to look at him. "It's Spike,
luv…Buffy!"
"Please," she whimpered, her vision becoming a little more clear as worried blue eyes looked back at her. "Spike?" she whispered in confusion as he briefly closed his eyes, feeling the relief wash over him.
"It's me," he said softly, looking into her tearful eyes and running his hands through her hair. "Did I hurt you?"
Sniffling as she shook her head, Buffy cuddled closer to him. "No… you didn't hurt me."
"Buffy, talk to me," he murmured, his lips against her hair. "You scared me."
"I'm sorry," she whimpered, fighting another rush of tears. "I never meant to…I'm so sorry."
"Did someone else hurt you?" he asked, his entire body tensing as he waited for her answer.
Buffy took a deep, shaky breath. "I have a lot I should have told you."
Spike swallowed the lump in his throat when Buffy finished telling him the last detail of the tortured existence that she had called her life before she had moved to Sunnydale.
The two lay side by side in the bed, their hands intertwined, both with tears streaming down their cheeks.
"Are you going to leave now?" Buffy asked, unable to look at him as she sat up, pulling her hand away from his as she waited for his answer.
Spike frowned, following her movements and tilting her head to look back at him. "Why would I leave you?" he asked in confusion.
Looking away and picking at the comforter, Buffy bit her bottom lip. "Why would someone like you want to be with someone as messed up as me?" she asked.
Spike took a deep breath, pulling her into a crushing embrace. "I'm not leaving," he whispered, kissing any skin he could come in contact with. He paused when he saw a pale scar on her shoulder, letting his fingertips gently brush over it. "Is this from…"
"Door number two," Buffy replied in a quiet voice. "Everyday for a year."
Spike closed his eyes, suddenly having the urge to find his father and apologize for being such a smart-ass son the majority of the time.
"Maybe you should talk to someone," he said softly, carefully broaching the subject.
Buffy pulled back to look at him with a confused expression on her pretty face. "I am talking to someone."
"Someone who's qualified to help," Spike clarified, frowning when she pulled away from him.
"You think I need to see a shrink?"
"It might be the best thing to…Buffy!" he called after her as she jumped off the bed and slipped her shirt over her head.
"I'm not crazy," she said, adjusting her shirt. Spike jumped off the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist and preventing her from going anywhere.
"The thought never crossed my mind, luv," he whispered, leaving soft kisses along her shoulder. "I just think you might need to talk to someone who can help you more than me."
"I don't need help, Spike," she insisted, turning around in his arms.
Spike was about to protest when her lips met his in a gentle kiss, which quickly escalated in passion. Pushing back any doubts, he got lost in the tender caress of her lips against his and decided to do what she obviously wanted and drop the subject…for now.
No More Secrets
Spike slowly woke up the next morning to the feeling of soft kisses trailing along his chest.
"Buffy?" he asked in a groggy voice. Still trying to wake up, he looked down at the curtain of blonde hair that was falling on his torso and felt his heartbeat speed up as she traveled lower to kiss the ridged muscles of his abdomen. "Buffy, luv, what are you doing?"
Turning to look up at him with a soft smile, it quickly faded when Spike gently grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up his body to look her in the eyes.
"We don't have to do this."
"I know," Buffy said quietly, avoiding his eyes.
"Hey," Spike said with a gentle smile, turning her to look at him. "I'm not going anywhere. You don't need to do anything to keep me here, do you understand?"
Swallowing nervously, she bit her lip as she nodded. "But what if I want to?"
Noticing her lack of clothing for the first time, it was Spike's turn to gulp. "I don't know," he whispered, his body telling him to shut up and do what she wanted.
"Are you afraid to touch me now?" she asked with pain in her eyes.
"No," Spike said, shaking his head. "I just don't want to push you."
Leaning forward to kiss him, Buffy's fingers hooked in his belt loops and slowly dragged his pants down his legs, breaking away from his lips as she dropped them on the floor.
"Are you sure, luv?"
Buffy looked up at him with a soft smile, straddling his waist. "I'm sure," she whispered, her lips meeting his as she positioned him at her entrance and moaned as he filled and stretched her.
Both looked into each other's eyes as they gasped for breath. Spike's hands rested loosely on her thighs, feeling the muscles tense when she began moving. Her movements quickly sped up, causing Spike to tense beneath her.
"Buffy, slow down, pet."
Not listening to him, she kept up her pace, watching as Spike's jaw tensed. Not allowing her the control she was craving, he quickly flipped her onto the mattress, giving her a reassuring smile when her eyes widened.
Their lips met in a tender kiss, but Buffy soon felt like she was suffocating with Spike's body holding her in place. Fighting the panic that was rapidly rising within her, she fought the natural reaction she had to push him away when he began moving with slow thrusts, obviously wanting the moment to be a slower pace.
"Spike, don't," she whispered, causing him to immediately stop and pull back to look at her.
Brushing the hair off her face, he kept eye contact with her as he spoke. "Listen to me," he said in a soothing voice. "I will stop right now if you want me to. Say the word and I will- everything will be fine between us. But if you want to keep doing this, we are not doing the same thing we've done in the past."
"What are you saying?" she whispered, her eyes holding a tinge of fear.
Pulling out slightly, only to push right back into her, Spike never broke eye contact. "I'm going to give you what you deserve."
Gasping with another thrust, Buffy shook her head. "I-I don't deserve this…please."
"Do you want me to stop?" Spike asked, preparing to pull out of her.
"I don't know," she whispered, her mind telling her one thing and her body telling her another.
"Say the word and I will," he said in reassurance, lowering his head to brush kisses along her throat as he slowly pulled out of her. "No more fear," he whispered. "No more secrets."
'No more secrets…no more secrets…no more…'
"Stop," Buffy said, closing her eyes as Spike immediately rolled away from her.
"Are you alright?"
Taking a deep, shaky breath, Buffy turned to him with watery eyes. "No more secrets?"
Sitting up, Spike looked at her for a long moment. "I'm not going to like this, am I?" he asked, his body tense at the tone of her voice.
"Probably not," she said, biting her lip as she stood up from the bed.
Spike watched her slowly put her clothes on. His brow furrowed as he pulled his jeans on and walked around the bed to stand in front of her. Gently taking her by the shoulders, he looked into her eyes. "What's wrong?"
Breathing deeply, Buffy looked at him with watery eyes. "I wasn't entirely honest with you…or your dad from the start."
'This doesn't sound good,' Spike thought, resisting the urge to sit on the edge of the bed, in preparation of what was to come.
"Alright," he said slowly, silently urging her to continue.
"There's really no easy way to say this, so I'll just come out with it," Buffy said, gently pulling away from him and taking a few steps back, unconsciously afraid of his reaction. Spike noticed and hated it, but he knew that she needed some space. "I'm not nineteen," she said quickly, watching his reaction. "I'm seventeen."
The slight tick of his jaw was his only reaction, and Buffy felt terror grip her body. Spike was a passionate man who never hid anything, and she was expecting a lot more than the blank stare she was getting.
"Say something," she whispered, taking another step back.
Spike seemed to snap out of it, bringing his hand up to his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes squeezed shut as if he was trying to alleviate some tension.
"What am I supposed to say, Buffy?" he asked quietly, not wanting to open his eyes and see the emotions on her face.
"I don't know," she whispered, taking one more step away from him and feeling her heartbeat speed up when her back hit the wall.
Hearing a soft thump, Spike opened his eyes, his expression softening when he noticed how far away she was. "Come here, baby," he said softly, opening his arms and smiling when she visibly relaxed and crossed the room. He brushed a tender kiss on top of her head as she snuggled closer to him.
"I don't know what to say," he murmured into her hair, feeling her tense slightly but not trying to pull away. "I'm not happy you lied, but you told me the truth and…if we were in England, this wouldn't be an issue…but we're here and…"
"I don't want to lose you," she whispered fearfully. "You're the only thing in my life that makes sense."
"I know…I feel the same way. You're not going to lose me, Buffy. I'm just not sure what to do now."
"We could go to England," Buffy said with a bright smile, pulling away to look at him.
Spike sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as he looked at her. He would give anything to keep that look on her face. To keep her from feeling anymore pain. "I don't think we can do that, pet."
Buffy pouted, earning a smile from Spike. "Will you consider it?" she asked hopefully.
Looking at her for a long moment, he felt the idea become more appealing the longer he thought about it. "Maybe," he said, smiling as her face brightened even more before an idea hit him. "I'll take you to England, but you have to do some things for me."
"Like what?" Buffy asked, tilting her head to watch him.
"We'll have to be honest with my dad," he said sternly. "He already knows about…us, but I think he should know about your life before you came here."
"I-I can't," Buffy said, shaking her head, already mentally shutting down.
"I can tell him, pet…I just think he needs to know."
"Why?" she asked miserably.
'Because I think it's time Ripper comes out to play,' he thought.
"I think he'll be more open to the idea of me taking you out of the country," he said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"What are the other things?" she asked, sulking in such a cute way that Spike's smile brightened.
"Just one…you see a therapist."
"Spike, we talked about this last night," she said, already shaking her head. "I don't want to talk to anyone."
"I guess we're staying here then."
"That's not fair," she said with tears in her eyes.
"I know," Spike whispered, pulling her closer to him. "I didn't say it was fair, but it's your choice."
Celebration
Giles sat at the table, his hand rubbing his eyes as Spike finished talking.
"She's seventeen," he muttered, already feeling the headache forming as he looked over at his son for confirmation. "Her mother died and she…"
"Yeah," Spike said softly.
"Where is she now?"
Taking a deep breath, Spike looked at his watch. "I finally got her to go to a therapist."
"How on earth did you manage that?" Giles asked, a hint of a smile on his face as he thought of the headstrong young woman.
Spike stood up, pacing around the kitchen as he avoided his father's gaze. "I, uh…I kind of told her I'd take her to England," he muttered.
"You what?!"
'Uh oh.'
"You heard me," Spike said, turning to face Giles.
"William," Giles said, standing up and trying to keep the anger out of his voice. "You've only known this girl for a few weeks."
Spike arched an eyebrow at his father. "What's your point?"
"My point is…don't you think you're moving rather fast? This could simply be a rebound from Drusilla."
"It's not," Spike insisted.
"You don't know that and-"
"I love her, Da."
Giles turned to face his son, his eyes widening. "What did you just say?"
"I said I love her," Spike repeated. "I've never felt this way about anyone and…I just want to be with her."
"Does she know?"
"If you mean- did I tell her? The answer would be 'no'. I will, I just…I can't lose her," he trailed off in a whisper as he sat down.
Giles gritted his teeth, wanting to give his son the benefit of the doubt, but at the same time, the 'protective father' part of him was waiting with a lecture.
"Look," Spike continued. "I'm going to need your help…over here, she's still a minor and…"
"I understand," Giles said with a resigned sigh. "I'll help in anyway I can."
Spike stood in the reception area of Dr. Wilkins' office, trying to ignore his airhead of a secretary with the nameplate 'Harmony' sitting on her desk.
Pacing through the room, Spike was desperately wishing for a cigarette and regretting his ultimatum. Her first session was two hours long, and she insisted that it was something she needed to do alone.
Growing agitated, Spike was about to barge in the office when the door opened. A friendly older man with a kind face led Buffy out of the room. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and Spike felt his heart calling to her.
Looking up as Dr. Wilkins led her through the door, her eyes connected with Spike's, and she immediately flew across the room, into his waiting arms.
Spike closed his eyes, letting his head drop to her shoulder as his hold tightened. "You okay, baby?"
Buffy sniffled before pulling back and nodding. "Yeah," she whispered in a choked voice.
Spike looked over her shoulder, seeing the therapist standing there. Gently extracting himself from Buffy's arms, he kept a firm hold on her hand as he offered the man his other one. "Thanks for taking care of my girl, Doc."
"My pleasure," Wilkins said, giving Buffy a reassuring smile as he shook Spike's hand. "It's nice to know she has someone. Miss Summers, I'll see you later this week."
Buffy nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Wilkins."
As the therapist walked away, Buffy folded herself into Spike's embrace again.
"You okay, pet?"
"Yeah," she whispered, feeling like it was true for the first time in years. "Or at least…I think I will be."
"Let's get you home, okay?"
Buffy nodded, snuggling closer to him as he led her out of the office.
"Spike," she said in a soft voice. "Thank you for doing this."
Glancing down at her, his arm tightened in a comforting gesture. "You did it, Goldilocks. I just gave you a push in the right direction."
"Yeah," Buffy whispered. "But I needed that push."
Staying quiet, Spike brushed a kiss on top of her head, trying to convey everything that went unsaid.
"Dad," Spike greeted, walking into the living room later that night.
"How is she?" Giles asked.
"She's sleeping," he replied, sitting down in a nearby chair and watching his father closely.
"That's good," Giles said with a nod. "I imagine she needs a lot of rest."
"Yeah," Spike agreed in a soft voice.
"Do you remember Ethan Rayne?" Giles asked, pouring himself a drink as he changed the subject.
"Vaguely," Spike replied. "I remember him well enough to know that he was a right bastard."
"Yes," Giles said with a Ripper-like smile. "Well, he's owed me quite a few favors over the years, and I decided to collect on them tonight."
"Meaning?"
"I thought it would be in his best interest to take a little trip tonight. So, I sent him to 'deal with' the problem Buffy mentioned."
A devilish smile crossed Spike's face as he leaned back in his chair. "And?"
"Let's just say- 'the problem' won't be physically capable of harming young women anymore…in fact, he won't be physically capable of doing a lot of things anymore. Would you like a drink?"
"Are we celebrating?" Spike asked with a smile.
"I think the occasion calls for it."
An hour later, Spike crawled back into bed with Buffy, pulling her against his chest.
"Where'd you go?" she asked in a sleepy voice.
"I had to talk to my dad, pet. Nothing to worry about."
"Okay," she murmured, already falling asleep again.
"Buffy?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too," she whispered. Spike smiled as she fell asleep, her words drifting to him as the most natural response that he'd ever heard.
Forever Love
Six Months Later
"Why do I get the feeling that I'm going to be carting those all over London?" Spike asked with a slight smile as Buffy continued to pack yet another suitcase. It was amazing the things she had acquired since moving in with Giles.
"You're the guy…it's kind of in your job description," she said with a smile.
Falling down on the bed, Spike rested his hands on his stomach as he continued to watch her pack. "Can I request a change of career?"
"Hey!" she cried indignantly. "I resent that."
Catching her wrist before she could move away, Spike tugged on her, smiling when she fell across his chest with a surprised huff.
"We're really going, aren't we?" she asked with an excited smile, letting her hand trace patterns over his muscles.
"If that's still what you want," Spike replied, running his hands up and down her arms. "You'll be eighteen in a few months, and it's not like we've done anything illegal since you started with Dr. Wilkins."
"That was your choice," she said with a pout. "I was willing to break the law every night."
Chuckling at her protruding lip, Spike gently ran his finger across it, watching as her eyes lit up.
"We're not leaving for a while," he said softly. "If you want to stay here and live in Sunnydale, that's fine with me, pet."
"No," she whispered, shaking her head. "I'm really going to miss your dad, but…I just want a fresh start, you know?"
"I know," he murmured, pulling her to him for a warm hug and closing his eyes as he inhaled the sweet aroma of her hair. "You'll get a fresh start…we both will."
"Can I ask you to do something for me?" she asked, pulling back and looking into his eyes, smiling when she saw the love shining through.
"Anything," he replied, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Can we say goodbye to this room?"
Furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at her, Spike tilted his head in confusion, his eyes widening when she giggled.
"Twenty-four hours away from getting to the promised land, and you want me to break the law and risk getting arrested before we go," he said with a smirk.
"Come on," Buffy teased, dragging a fingernail down the middle of his shirt. "You love the risk. I know you- you get off on it."
"No, that would be you," he replied with an evil glint in his eyes.
"You never answered my question," she said after a moment.
"Are you sure?"
"I've been sure for months. You're the one with all the willpower, mister. Make a girl feel unwanted."
Flipping them over on the bed, Spike gently kissed along her neck, down to her shoulder. "Trust me, Goldilocks, you are anything but unwanted."
Chuckling when Buffy grabbed his arms and pulled him back up to face her, his eyes lit up when he saw the bright smile on her face as she peppered kisses along his neck.
"I could get used to this," he said, briefly closing his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her soft lips caressing his skin. "And how do I keep this smile permanently on your face?" he asked after a moment, watching her pull back to look at him.
"Make love to me," she whispered, causing Spike's breath to catch in his throat at the soft words.
Trying to control the trembling in his body, Spike's lips met hers in a tender kiss, gently running along her bottom lip and moaning when he felt her tongue stroke against his. It had been six months since they had been intimate with each other, and although Spike never pushed her, he definitely wasn't strong enough to deny her either. Not when they were in such an intimate position and definitely not when she'd actually used the term 'make love'. That had never been spoken and he wasn't going to pass this by. It had been hard enough sharing a bed every night with only the occasional touches and kisses shared- his strength was rapidly dwindling.
Their lips never separated as they slowly undressed each other. Spike smiled at how relaxed Buffy was. "If you want to wait, Buffy, it's fine with me," he said in a soft voice, not wanting her to feel pressured if she was having second thoughts.
"I don't," she replied, looking up at him with love shining in her eyes. Slowly tracing the curves and contours of his face, she pulled him down to her for a tender kiss. "I'm ready," she whispered, parting her thighs even more and moaning as he slowly slid into her.
Spike stopped, panting for air when he was fully sheathed inside of her. This was the first time he was actually able to take his time, and the sensations she was causing were incredible. Her warmth seemed to spread through his body, and he made a constant effort not to thrust into her, wanting to keep the gentle pace this time.
Buffy's nails dragged along his back as muffled pants and gasps escaped her lips. Fusing his mouth to hers in a long kiss, Spike began to move with long strokes.
Pulling back after a moment, their foreheads pressed together, staring deeply into each other's eyes. He gave her a soft smile when Buffy eagerly met his thrusts with her own.
"I love you," he whispered, never breaking their eye contact.
Buffy slowly reached up to cup his face in her hands, tears glistening in her eyes. "I love you, too," she whispered, pulling him toward her for another kiss.
Letting his lips play on hers for a moment, he began to slowly ghost his hand along her body, barely touching her and sending chills racing through both of them. Reaching her hip, Spike slipped his hand in between them, watching as her eyes widened and she began moaning in need.
"Oh, God," she whispered, clutching at his shoulders as if he was a lifeline.
Their hips met and separated, creating more friction with each touch. She whimpered when Spike's hand abandoned her, only to hold onto her thighs. Still keeping the pace moderately slow, he began putting more pressure and force behind his thrusts. His breathing sped up as they grinded their bodies together.
"You're incredible," he whispered.
"Spike," she whimpered. "I need more…I-I want…"
Moving together at a faster pace, he felt her muscles clenching him in anticipation. Bracing her feet against the mattress, Buffy arched into him, seeing her release.
"Oh, God, Spike- don't stop!" she screamed. "Don't stop…never stop…"
She trailed off with a scream, feeling him follow her over the edge. Both lay on the bed panting, their bodies still joined and occasionally still seeking the friction the other provided.
"I love you so much," Buffy whispered, letting her hand play with the soft hairs at the base of his neck.
"I love you," he whispered, looking into her eyes and smiling at the openness and warmth they held.
"Don't ever stop, okay?" she asked with a playful smile.
"I promise. We're just getting started."
The End