"False Pretenses"
Author: Ashlee and Allison
Contact: ashlee_999@hotmail.com
Author's Notes: Okay, guys, here's a new story. I have been so busy lately that my friend Allison (who is an awesome writer) was generous enough to co-write this with me. Our writing styles are very similar, so you (hopefully) won't even notice. This story has a lot of UST, so if you don't like that you might want to wait and read it when it's finished. Please leave lots and lots of reviews!
Bonding
The next day, Buffy accepted Angel's invitation to go out to dinner, even though Spike protested strongly against it.
'I could handle him much easier when he wasn't in the picture so much,' Spike thought, watching Buffy scour through her closet for clothes to wear while he sat on her bed.
"What do you think about this dress?" Buffy asked, holding up a light lavender sundress.
"It's nice," he answered, shrugging. She frowned, sighed exasperatedly, and looked at him.
"You've called everything I've shown you 'nice'," she said. "You're supposed to be helping me."
'Why would I help you look beautiful for him?' Spike thought bitterly. 'I don't want him to be with you.' She went back to her closet and pulled out a black skirt and a red blouse. 'And she picks out my favorite colors- brilliant.'
"That will work," Spike said, standing up and walking down the stairs, not willing to subject himself to watching her primp more for a date, considering he didn't support it in the slightest.
Spike had called Xander to come over, hoping that his friend would keep him from killing Angel. Also, a part of him kind of hoped that Angel would make the mistake of saying something discriminatory about homosexuals, thus getting more evidence against the nancyboy.
'Then I'd have an even better reason to punch him,' Spike thought, sitting on the couch with Xander. This thought brought a smile to Spike's face. They were watching a football game when Angel arrived. They watched Buffy come out of the bathroom, looking just as gorgeous as she always had. Both men let out a sigh as she went to the door, looking excited. 'I wish she'd be that excited to see me.'
She opened the door and smiled up at Angel. "Hey."
"Hey, Buffy," he replied, handing her a bouquet of daisies. She looked at them, surprised.
"Daisies are my favorite," she said. "Thank you." He smiled at her and watched as she put them in a vase. Both men on the couch looked at each other, obviously displeased with the fact that Angel was trying to charm her. Spike was grateful that Xander was there. His friend was starting to look at Buffy as a little sister and, luckily, didn't like Angel anymore than Spike did.
Buffy looked at Spike and Xander. 'Why do I feel so uncomfortable about having them here? Alone, especially?' she asked herself. 'Perhaps it's because you'd rather be here alone with him.' She sighed and tried to clear her head.
"Well, we're heading out," she said. Spike looked at her and nodded, trying to mask how he felt. "We'll see you two later. Have good night."
"You too, luv," Spike replied, averting his eyes as he clenched his jaw slightly. Buffy and Angel left the apartment, and Xander looked at Spike.
"I can see why you hate him, man," he said. "There's got to be some way of getting Buffy to see that she shouldn't be with him." Spike nodded and sank down on the couch. "I wouldn't worry. We'll figure it out."
'I just hope it isn't too late when we do,' Spike thought sadly, running a hand through his hair.
Buffy and Angel showed up at the restaurant that she and Spike had been to a couple of nights before. Angel must've noticed the look on her face because he instantly frowned.
"If you don't like this place, we can go somewhere else," he quickly offered. She looked at him.
"No, I love this place," she said, managing a small smile. "Let's go in and eat."
They got out of the car and went inside, being seated in a booth. As it turned out, it was the same one she and Spike had occupied.
'This is starting to be weird,' she thought, opening her menu. 'I feel like I'm disrespecting Spike by being here. Almost like I'm cheating on him, but that's just silly. I mean really, how many restaurants are there in this town? It's not like we have a whole lot of options.' She paused. 'Maybe sitting in this booth is an omen. Of what, I don't exactly know, but this all feels incredibly strange.'
"Is everything okay?" Angel asked, looking at her. She nodded and looked at her menu.
'How come I don't exactly believe her?' he thought to himself, trying to brush off the insecurities he was feeling.
After ordering and getting their wine, Angel filled their glasses and suggested he propose a toast.
'Well, that's kind of romantic,' she thought, raising her glass to his.
"May this relationship last and grow into something more," he said, and she tapped her glass against his, drinking some of the Merlot.
'And may I stop lusting after Spike,' she thought, putting down the glass and looking at Angel.
A couple of hours later, Spike was happy to see that Buffy had returned and that Angel didn't come in with her. She put her keys and purse down before going over to Spike and sitting beside him on the couch.
"Hey," she said, looking somewhat tired. "Xander already left?" Spike nodded, looking at her.
"How did the date go?" he asked, trying his best to keep his tone neutral.
"It went great," she smiled softly, curling up. "He's a really nice guy." Spike frowned. "And I know you don't like him, but I…I enjoy spending time with him."
"Your mum doesn't seem to fancy him too much either," he said. She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "When we were washing dishes last night, she mentioned how she didn't really think Angel was your type." Buffy sat up quickly, crossing her arms.
'Maybe I shouldn't have said that to her,' he thought, his eyes widening slightly, noticing how defensive she became suddenly.
"Angel's a great guy, and I don't think it's her place to say he isn't my type," she said sternly. "She doesn't even know what my type is. I like Angel, and I'm not going to stop seeing him because you two don't like him."
"Not to burst your bubble, pet, but I'd say your mum knows your type," Spike replied. "Give her some credit- she was the one who raised you and saw who you brought home during your teenage years. Parents know a lot more about their kids than their children think they do. And I'd have to agree with her that I don't think he's your type at all." Buffy stood up and straightened out her skirt.
"You don't know my type either, Spike," she said. "You haven't been around long enough to know, so don't judge my choices on who I date. Okay?" Spike stood up and looked at her, their eyes locking.
"I just don't want to see you get hurt," he said, choosing not to start an argument with her.
"I'll be fine," she replied, trying to lose the defensive edge to her voice. "Good night." She walked away and went up to her room. Spike sighed and sat back down on the couch, resting his head on the back of the couch and shutting his eyes.
'What would she do if she knew I was straight?' he asked himself. 'Would she ditch him and be with me instead?' He clenched his fists. 'You're the reason she's not with you, mate. You should've told her the truth right away, and maybe you wouldn't be in this mess right now.'
Buffy tossed and turned in her bed later that night, sleep continually eluding her. She felt guilty about what she'd said to Spike a few hours before. It wasn't fair for her to have told him that he hadn't been around long enough to know her. He knew her better than anyone.
Buffy sighed, climbing out of her bed, and wrapped her arms around herself, warding off the chill of the drafty apartment. She padded down the stairs, not bothering to notice that she was only wearing a sports bra and a pair of short shorts. All of the lights were turned off, so Buffy headed down the short hallway to his bedroom.
She knocked lightly, not really expecting an answer as she pushed the door open. The moonlight streamed through the window, bathing Spike in a blue and silver glow as he peacefully slept.
Buffy felt her stomach clench as she, once again, thought of the hurtful things she had said to a man who had done nothing more than acted as her friend. Crossing the room, Buffy crawled into bed with him, scooting closer to the warmth of his body until she was cuddled against his bare chest, her leg brushing against the soft fabric of his sweatpants as Spike stirred in his sleep.
"Buffy?" he asked in a hoarse whisper, trying to wake up a little more. "What's wrong, luv?"
Buffy looked up, her eyes meeting his, and Spike frowned at the pain that he saw there.
"Tell me," he whispered, pulling her closer when he felt how cool her skin was.
"I'm sorry," Buffy said softly. "About earlier…it wasn't fair to you."
"What's that, pet?" he asked drowsily.
"When I said that you didn't know me. You're my best friend, Spike, and I don't want you mad at me."
Spike gave her a tender smile, letting his hand trail over her arm and up to her face, brushing the hair away from her eyes. "Don't worry about it," he said quietly, never breaking eye contact with her.
"Can I stay here tonight?" she asked, the innocence of her simple question causing Spike's heart to flip.
"Of course you can stay here," he whispered, smiling as she snuggled into his chest.
Buffy sighed in contentment when she felt his lips brush over the top of her head. 'Why does this feel so right?' she asked herself as her hand lightly played along the strong muscles of his chest. 'Why do I have the feeling that every man I meet will be compared to this man?'
Buffy sighed again, this time in frustration.
"Something else bothering you?" Spike asked, frowning when Buffy shook her head. He wasn't about to be fooled by that. "Tell me, Buffy."
Buffy kept her head where it was against his chest, avoiding his eyes as she spoke. "Why don't you like Angel?"
Spike tensed slightly, licking his lips as he thought of an unbiased response to her question. "Bad vibes, I guess."
"You don't think I'm safe with him?" she asked, propping her head up on his chest as she looked into his eyes.
Spike gently played with a strand of hair, letting it fall through his fingers before picking it up again, enjoying the feel of the silky locks. "If I didn't think you were safe, I would never let you go out with him alone," he whispered honestly, trying to convey his emotions through his eyes.
Buffy felt tears shimmer in her eyes at the tenderness in his voice. "You really do care about me, don't you?"
"You know I do," Spike whispered in a husky voice, feeling his heartbeat speed up as Buffy leaned forward to leave a gentle kiss on his lips.
The kiss was a little longer than the one they had shared the night before, but it was just as sweet. Spike felt a slight panic fill him as Buffy began to pull away, his hands coming up to lace through her hair, pulling her lips back to his in a more passionate kiss.
Buffy gasped into his mouth as his tongue slipped past her lips, dueling with hers as his hands held her in place. She quickly made herself forget all of the reasons why this shouldn't be happening and lost herself in the kiss, moaning when Spike rolled them, their lips never separating as he settled himself on top of her.
Buffy's hands ran up the defined muscles of his arms, to thread through his hair, holding him to her as the kiss deepened. Spike felt as if a fire was burning inside of him as his hands wandered her body, relishing the soft curves under his fingertips.
He could feel his muscles tense as her body arched beneath his, causing his already painfully hard erection to grow even larger. He couldn't stop the natural response to push back against her, letting his hands leave her body to fist in the sheets next to her head, trying to control his raging emotions.
Their lips stayed firmly locked as they slowly moved together, moaning as their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly, even with the few layers of clothing that still separated them.
Slowly breaking away, Spike's lips trailed down her throat, swirling his tongue along her collarbone and eliciting a moan before moving back up to meet her lips again. He pulled back for a moment to catch his breath, realizing his mistake when Buffy's eyes widened as she realized what they were doing.
"Oh my God," she whispered, her expression one of shock.
Spike immediately rolled off of her, not wanting her to think he was going to force her into something. Buffy sat up, her heart pounding from a mixture of lust and embarrassment as she realized what just happened.
Spike watched, still in too much shock to do anything, as Buffy climbed out of the bed and hurriedly left the room. He felt his stomach drop as he flopped back onto the bed, looking at the ceiling.
"Bloody hell."
Denial
The next morning, Spike woke up early and hopped in the shower, praying that he could avoid Buffy at all costs. He had no idea what he was going to say to her, knowing that she'd definitely need answers to what had happened.
'Well, here's what happened- I've wanted her since the first moment I saw her, and I decided to take a chance last night like the bloody moron I am,' he thought, standing under the hot spray of water. 'How do I even begin to explain this to her? Am I ready to admit the truth to her?' He paused. 'She's going to kick me out when she finds out, isn't she? Our friendship is based on a lie. A big one, at that. I have a feeling she's never going to forgive me for letting it get this bad.'
After getting dressed and ready to leave the apartment for a few hours, he got out of the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen to get his keys. Unfortunately for him, Buffy was awake and standing in front of a set of cabinets, grabbing a box of cereal. She looked at him and instantly averted her eyes, too afraid to address the situation they had found themselves in the night before.
'Why did I kiss him back?' she asked herself. 'I mean, besides the fact I have Angel, I know Spike doesn't like me like that. We're friends, and he has Xander. Why did he kiss me like that in the first place? Maybe he's bi,' this thought caused Buffy to pause before another one fluttered through her brain. 'Oh God, maybe it was more like I forced myself on him. Maybe he was just going with what I was doing and didn't want to stop for fear of hurting me.' She shut her eyes, cursing herself. 'Good job, Summers. How're you going to explain your way out of this one?' She noticed him looking at her. 'How do you explain to your gay roommate that you want him?'
"Buffy, I don't know what happened last night," Spike began, shoving his hands in his pockets, trying to figure out what he should tell her. "I'm sorry if I was out of line, and I didn't mean for it to get that far. I hope you can forgive me." She looked at him, surprised.
'He's blaming this all on him?' she thought to herself, raising an eyebrow.
"Um, yeah," she said quietly. "It's okay. Don't worry about it." He nodded and headed to the door. "Where are you going?" He stopped as he gripped the doorknob, not turning to look at her for fear that she'd see how he was really feeling about their situation.
"To see Xander," he answered, letting himself out and closing the door behind him. Buffy leaned back against the counters and sighed, upset.
'Things aren't going to be the same ever again, are they?'
Xander looked at his friend sitting across from him at the dining room table, trying to be helpful.
"Do you think she was mad that you kissed her?" Xander asked. Spike shrugged.
"I have no idea how she feels about it besides the fact she looked freaked out before she ran out of my room and up to hers," he answered, drinking from his beer bottle. "I mean, I'd be upset if my gay roommate forced himself on me, wouldn't you?" Xander laughed slightly. "Shut up, whelp, this is serious. What the sodding hell am I going to do now? I've dug myself into this hole and I don't know how to get out without serious consequences. She probably wants me to move out."
"Did she say that?" Xander asked. Spike shook his head. "What exactly did she say?"
"I asked her if she'd forgive me, and she said 'it's okay' and 'don't worry about it'," Spike muttered. "Obviously it's not okay and I'm worrying about it." He finished his beer. "I don't want to go back there, Xand. Not yet." Xander looked at his watch.
"You can stay here for a while if you'd like," he offered. "Anya and I are meeting up in a couple of minutes for lunch." Spike looked at him graciously. "Try to be gone before we come back, though. I've been trying to prove my masculinity ever since the charade we pulled in L.A." Spike chuckled and patted his friend on the back.
"Thanks," Spike replied. "I owe you one, Xander." The two exchanged a smile before Xander stood up and left the apartment. Spike stared down the neck of the empty beer bottle, lost in thought again.
'You've got to face her sometime, Spike. You dug your own grave, and now it's time to crawl your way out of it.' He paused. 'Right, I've got all day to get out of it.' He rested his head down on the table and shut his eyes, hoping he wouldn't have any dreams of Buffy.
Buffy spent most of her time in town that day, avoiding her apartment. She knew she and Spike would have to talk about everything eventually.
'There's no way you can just ignore a make-out session like that,' she thought sadly.
After spending sordid amounts of money at the mall for the second time that month, she decided to walk through the art gallery that was nearby.
'At least that might take my mind off of him,' she thought. 'Hopefully.'
She spent at least an hour there, looking at the art and watching a class of students take notes on several paintings. She smiled at them, remembering how she had several field trips here for her college art classes.
After leaving, she walked into the local coffee shop next door and had just placed her order when she saw Xander sitting at a table with a pretty blonde woman.
'I wonder if those two are like me and Spike,' she said, studying the two, laughing at something Xander had just said. Xander took the woman's hand in his and kissed the top of it, looking into her eyes. She raised an eyebrow at the display but shrugged it off, grabbing her drink from the guy behind the counter.
When Buffy turned back around to leave, her eyes fell on Xander and the woman, watching as he leaned over and kissed her. She stopped walking.
'That's nothing- just a chaste kiss,' she thought, watching them intently. 'A chaste kiss with tongue…oh my god." She quickly left the café, going back to the apartment and having a mental breakdown. 'What am I going to tell Spike?'
When Spike finally mustered up the courage to return to the apartment, it was almost dinnertime. He still was at a loss of what to say to Buffy, but he knew there was no use in putting off.
'Time to face it like a man,' he frowned. 'Because you're the pillock who kissed her.'
When he walked into the apartment, he saw Buffy sitting on a chair in the living room area, her head in her hands. He raised an eyebrow, instantly worried.
"Buffy?" he asked, and her head shot up, her eyes looking at him. "What's wrong, luv?"
"I have something I need to tell you," she said quietly. Spike put down his keys and walked over to her, crouching down in front of her. She looked at him and took a deep breath.
"You can tell me what's wrong, pet," he said, scared that she was going to ask him to move out.
'You probably deserve it,' he thought sadly. 'Or maybe I should offer to leave.' Before he could open his mouth to suggest it, she spoke.
"I saw Xander and a woman in town today," she began, looking down. "He's cheating on you."
Spike couldn't help the smile that overtook his features as he looked at Buffy. She was so stressed out and obviously concerned that this bit of information was going to hurt him that he felt so much sympathy for the poor girl. He also found her even more attractive since she was worried about him.
'Now's the time,' Spike thought. 'It's perfect, just come out…bad choice of words…just tell her the truth.'
"Buffy," he said softly, taking her hand in his as she looked into his eyes. "Xander's not gay."
'Coward.'
Buffy's eyes widened in shock. "What?"
"I asked him to go with me to your mum's, but he's not gay. He's just my best friend…nothing more. He has a girlfriend, and I'm guessing she's who you saw today." Spike paused for a moment, his brow furrowing as he thought of something. "And if she wasn't the one you saw, I'm going to have to go kick his ass."
"Wh-why did you say he was gay?"
"I never really did," Spike said with a shrug. "I didn't want you to think I was a ponce since I didn't invite anyone."
Buffy breathed a sigh of relief hearing the news. She didn't know if she was relieved because, more or less, that let her off the hook for the kiss last night, or because Spike was still single.
Spike watched as Buffy gave him a dazzling smile before wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug. Realizing what she was doing, Buffy jumped away, causing Spike to look at her in confusion. "Something wrong, pet?" When Buffy didn't answer, Spike gently took her chin in his hands, turning her to face him. "I don't want things to be weird between us, Buffy," he said softly, looking directly in her eyes.
"It's just last night…"
Spike brought his other hand up to cup her face as he looked at her. "Was special," he finished in a whisper. "It's a night I will always remember...in a very good way."
Buffy gave him a tentative smile as his hands left her face to pull her closer to him for another hug. She clung to him, thankful that things were getting back to the way they were supposed to be.
"What do you say we have a movie night, pet?" Spike asked, pulling away to look at her with a hopeful expression. 'And maybe I can get the courage to tell you the truth.'
Buffy looked at him with remorseful eyes. "I can't," she said softly. "I have a date."
Spike pulled back slightly, feeling more hurt than he had any right to be. "With Angel?"
Buffy nodded, biting her lip.
"Right then," Spike replied, backing toward the door.
"Spike, please don't be mad-"
"Not mad, luv," Spike replied with an obviously fake smile. "I'll be out for the evening."
"Spike-"
'It's fine, Buffy, really," he said in a tone that was almost uncaring.
"Okay," she said softly, breathing a heavy sigh when the door closed behind him.
Spike had waited until he was sure Buffy had left for her date before returning to the apartment. It was now close to midnight, and Spike could hear the front door opening and closing. He was relieved she was back. He always felt better when she was safe and sound inside their apartment.
He gave Buffy a few minutes, knowing she would want to change, before he would go see how her date went. Closing his book, he walked out of his bedroom, down the hall, and into the living room, surprised to see the lights were all turned off.
'Surely she wouldn't go to sleep without saying goodnight…or at the very least making sure I was home.'
Spike felt along the wall until he found the switch and flipped it on.
'Bloody hell, I should have left it off,' he thought as Buffy jumped, disentangling herself from Angel's arms as Angel shot the other man a death look at what he had obviously interrupted.
Buffy stood, straightening her clothes as she offered nervous smiles to both men. Neither of whom noticed, since they were too busy glaring at each other.
"Spike," she said in a voice that was abnormally high pitched. "I didn't think you were home."
Spike took a deep breath, trying to control every nerve in his body from attacking the other man. "Just on my way out, luv."
"No! You don't have to do that- we'll leave."
"We will?" Angel asked, his eyebrows raised. "It seems to me this apartment is big enough for all of us." Spike glared at him as he stood up, walking over to Buffy and wrapping an arm around her waist. "We can just go to your bedroom," he said to her in a low tone.
Buffy's eyes never left Spike's as she tried to gauge his reaction. Spike kept a careful mask in place as he looked at her. "You two stay down here," he said softly, ignoring her date. "I'm just going out to buy some smokes…I'll be back in a little while." The last statement was directed at Angel as he smirked at the other man.
Buffy nodded, her eyes saddened for reasons Spike didn't understand as he turned and walked out of the apartment. Shutting the door behind him, Spike leaned back and squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to think about what might be going on behind that door.
"Spike?"
Normally, that voice would grate on his nerves, but tonight it was a welcome distraction. ""Yeah, Andrew?"
"Is something wrong?"
Spike opened his eyes, looking at the younger man. "Just had to get out for a while…needed some space."
"Oh…I get that. You know, as long as you…need some space, you could always come over to my place."
For some strange reason, Spike found the invitation as a comforting break from his life. Andrew really was a nice guy, and he was nothing if not entertaining. "You got beer?" Spike asked, walking toward his door.
After Andrew let Spike into his apartment, Spike couldn't help but look at all of the action figures and posters scattered about. The apartment was in the same set-up as Buffy's, but Andrew had obviously filled it up with a lot of geek paraphernalia.
'Why are you shocked?' he thought to himself. 'He's the type of guy you'd picture enjoying Star Trek.' Spike eyed a little figurine on a stand and picked it up. He heard Andrew gasp.
"That's a limited edition, 1979 mint condition Boba Fett," Andrew said, looking terrified. Spike raised an eyebrow, looking at him. "Will you please put that down?" Spike did as asked and raised his hands in surrender, taking a step back. Andrew breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry, I'm just very skittish about people touching my collectibles."
"I can see that," Spike replied, managing a smile. Andrew walked to the refrigerator and pulled out two beers before handing Spike one. "Thanks." Andrew smiled, and the two men opened the bottles, drinking some. Spike noticed the odd look Andrew had after drinking his.
'The kid has beer but doesn't drink it?' he thought, confused. 'Maybe it's only for company.'
"So, why did you need space?" Andrew asked casually, leaning back against the kitchen counter.
"Buffy has her great oaf of a boy-toy over," Spike muttered, drinking a large gulp of beer.
"Riley's back?" Andrew asked, shocked. Spike looked at him and shook his head. "Then who?"
"Angel, a fellow student at UC-Sunnydale," he answered sarcastically. "You know about Riley?"
"That I do," Andrew said. "Do you know about him, too?" Spike shrugged. "She didn't tell you all about it?" Spike shook his head. "Well, how about we have a seat then? This could take a bit of time." Andrew motioned to his couch, and Spike sat down. Andrew sat on a parallel couch, looking at Spike.
"How long were they dating? What went wrong? What was he like?" Spike asked quickly, his mind spinning with questions he wanted answered.
'If Buffy won't tell me, I'll get my information from the next best thing- gossipy Andrew.'
"Slow down, tiger," Andrew said before smiling. "Let me tell it my way." Spike motioned for him to proceed. "Well, they began dating about two years ago, when she was a freshman in college." Spike relaxed on the couch, eager for more. "Well, the long and short of it is, they were a happy couple, always together, the picture of perfection. Until things started going wrong for them."
"What exactly went wrong?" Spike asked, becoming worried. Andrew sighed. "Andrew?"
"Well, Riley wanted to get married, and Buffy wasn't ready," Andrew shrugged. "It all started to go downhill after that. I began seeing Riley come back to the apartment with random girls while she was out." Spike clenched his fists, becoming furious. "Buffy found out about two months ago and kicked him out. As far as I know, she hasn't talked to him since."
'At least my girl is smart enough to not keep him around after he's shagging behind her back,' he thought to himself.
"I think it really hurt her because her father cheated on her mother," Andrew said, looking at the 98 % full bottle in his hand. Spike raised an eyebrow.
'That explains why she called her father 'absentee' before,' he sighed. 'And why she freaked out when we were kissing the other night- she doesn't want to cheat on Angel.' Spike looked down and shut his eyes.
"Spike, are you okay?" Andrew asked, causing Spike to look at him.
"I'm fine, Andrew," Spike answered, smiling softly. "Thank you for telling me about Riley."
An hour had passed since Spike left, and Buffy was really starting to get worried. Around one o'clock, she pulled away from Angel and stood up. He looked at her, confused.
"I have an early morning tomorrow," she lied. "Do you mind if we call it a night?"
"Oh," Angel said, standing up. "Okay." She smiled politely at him and led him to the door.
"Good night, Angel," she said, leaning up to kiss him softly. He smiled at her.
"Good night, Buffy," he replied. She let him out and watched him get into the elevator before going back inside the apartment and quickly dialing Spike's cell phone number. After about two rings, he finally picked up.
"Where are you?" she practically hissed. "It's one o'clock in the morning!"
"I'm just visiting with my old pal Andrew here," Spike answered. Buffy raised an eyebrow.
'What? He's hanging out with Andrew?' she thought, shocked. She hung up the phone and stormed down the hallway, knocking on Andrew's door. Andrew opened it, smiling at her.
"Hi," he said. "Would you like to come in?" She shot him a look, and he backed off, letting her go over to Spike. He looked at her, smirking.
"Come to take me home, pet?" he asked, putting down his second beer bottle of the night.
"Let's go," she said. "It's getting late."
He sighed. "Yes, Mum," he muttered, following her to the door.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Night, Andrew."
"Thanks," Spike said, smiling at the younger man.
Andrew smiled back at him. "Good night, you two," he said, watching them go to their apartment. "See you around." Buffy opened their door and let them in before locking it behind her. She walked to her stairs, ready to go to sleep, when Spike gently grabbed her arm.
"Why do you seem so upset?" he asked, looking at her, concerned. "Did that ponce do something to you?"
"No, it was you," she replied, tilting her head. "You said you'd be back soon, and you weren't. Not that I believed you were really going out for cigarettes at midnight, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt." She crossed her arms, frowning.
'She's pretty cute when she's angry,' he thought, looking at the fire in her eyes.
"Do you know how worried I've been?" she asked, looking down. "Anything could've happened to you." He smiled and tilted her chin up, looking into her eyes.
"I'm fine, luv," he replied. "And I'm sorry I worried you." He kissed her forehead softly. "Now why don't you go to bed? You look exhausted." She nodded and hugged him. He hugged her back, not wanting to let her go but finally releasing her from his embrace. "Good night, Buffy."
"Good night, Spike," she said quietly before yawning. She walked up the steps to her room while Spike made his way down the hallway and into his own room.
'I didn't mean to worry her,' he thought, sitting on his bed. 'Maybe I can make it up to her tomorrow.' He smiled at the thought and laid back on his pillows, looking out the open window.
Making Up
"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Spike called with a smile, throwing a pillow at Buffy's sleeping form.
Buffy moaned, saying something unrecognizable while curling into a ball. Spike walked over to her window, throwing the curtains back and letting the sunlight stream in. Buffy burrowed under her covers, throwing muffled insults his way as she tried to get back to sleep.
"Oh, don't be like that," Spike said, falling onto the bed and waiting for any sign of life from her small body. When none came, a wicked grin spread over his face before his fingers mercilessly tickled her ribs. Buffy screeched, practically leaping out of the bed as she tried to get away from the assault.
"Stop!" she screamed, her plea not as effective through all the giggles that were erupting from her. "Spike, please stop!" she begged, writhing on the bed as Spike pinned her down and laughed with her.
Buffy pouted, breathing heavily when he finally stopped. Looking into his cobalt eyes, she gave him a pout as he chuckled at her. "That wasn't a very nice way to wake up."
"I tried to do it the nice way…you made me result to drastic measures," Spike replied, resisting the urge to kiss her pouty lip as he climbed off of her. "Besides, you seemed to enjoy it."
"Why are you waking me up so early, anyway?" Buffy asked, throwing a glare his way as she began rubbing her eyes.
"I'm taking you shopping," Spike announced.
Buffy's eyes widened. "You're serious? You have been shopping with me, right?"
"Yes."
"So, you do know what that entails?"
"Yes," Spike answered again with a smile. "I felt bad for making you worry last night. This is my peace offering. Take it or leave it."
"Oooh, peace offering most definitely accepted," Buffy replied, crawling out of bed and running to her closet. Spike watched as she gave an excited little hop, her blonde hair shimmering in the sunlight.
"I'll let you get ready, pet," Spike said, heading for the stairs.
"Okay," Buffy replied. "Give me an hour."
Two hours later, Spike and Buffy walked into the mall as Spike was debating just what he'd gotten himself into.
'Maybe I should have made a different peace offering,' he thought. 'Ice cream and flowers probably would have worked just as well…too late now. On the plus side, maybe she'll make another trip to Victoria's Secret.'
Spike had to shake his head to clear himself of that vision. He knew he wouldn't be able to take advantage of that situation again. Although, it would be very hard to walk away from, but things were different now. The consequences would be much higher.
"Where to first, pet?"
"I feel like doing something fun," Buffy replied, grabbing his hand in hers. "What about the pet store? I love looking at all the cute little puppies."
"Off to the pet store, then," Spike said, dropping her hand. He saw the confused look on her face, but it quickly disappeared when he wrapped his arm around her waist.
They stopped outside the pet store, looking at the little bunny rabbits that were hopping around in the window display. Buffy moved in front of him slowly so as not to dislodge his hand from her waist. Spike smiled, wrapping both arms around her waist and letting his chin drop to the top of her head as she cooed over the little fluffballs.
"Excuse me."
Buffy and Spike both turned at the soft voice and smiled at the elderly woman who was standing beside them.
"I just wanted to tell you that you two make such an attractive couple," she said with a sweet smile.
Spike felt his stomach clench, wanting that to be a fact and not just an observation. He was about to tell her that they weren't together when Buffy jumped in.
"Thank you," she said warmly as the woman walked into the shop.
Spike let his chin fall to her shoulder. "What was that, pet?"
Buffy shrugged, effectively jostling Spike, but he stayed where he was. "Why disappoint her when she went out of her way to give us a compliment?"
"You're wonderful, you know that?"
"So I've been told," she said with a giggle as Spike lightly tickled her stomach for a moment.
"You want to go in there, or are we going to look through the window all day?"
"We'll go," Buffy replied. "But you do know I'll want to buy every puppy and kitten in there, right?"
"I think I'll be able to live with that."
Forty-five minutes later, Spike was practically dragging a very reluctant Buffy from the store. "They're so cute," Buffy said with a sad face. "I wish we could take them all home."
"I know," Spike said softly, holding her hand as they walked toward the center of the mall. "Chin up, luv, and I'll buy you a milkshake."
"Okay," Buffy said with a sigh.
"Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for."
Buffy shot Spike a sheepish smile. "Sorry, a milkshake would be great."
Five minutes later, both sat down at one of the tables in the food-court, sipping their drinks. "What about him?" Buffy asked, tilting her head as she made casual conversation.
"What about…who?"
"That guy," Buffy said, discreetly gesturing to a man walking down one of the corridors. "Hotness factor on a scale of one to ten…what do you give him?"
Spike restrained himself from banging his head against the table as he looked at the man. 'Is this really happening? It's gotten to the point where I'm checking out other blokes with her?'
"I'm really not good with the rating system, pet."
"Oh, come on. You have eyes," she said, her own eyes following the man as he walked. "Okay, forget the ratings system…would you do him?"
"Oh dear God," Spike mumbled under his breath, nervously licking his lips.
Buffy turned her attention back to Spike. "What did you say?"
"Seven," Spike replied, feeling his masculinity draining out of him. "I'd give him a seven." *Buffy let them into the apartment after a productive day of shopping. Spike followed her in, trudging under the weight of her purchases he was carrying. "Thanks for taking me out shopping," she smiled at him, taking everything out of his hands with ease.
"You're welcome," he replied, amazed at how strong she really was.
'Does she work out or something?' he asked himself. 'I mean, between helping me move in my furniture and carrying all of that stuff, she's got to be a tough cookie.' He smiled. 'I love it.'
"So, what are the plans for the rest of the day?" she asked, her tone hopeful. "Cooking for me? Groveling?"
"Aren't I already forgiven?" he asked, pouting. She smiled brightly at him and took everything upstairs to her room. He smiled and checked his voicemail messages on his cell phone, getting one from Xander. He listened to it and called his friend back.
"Hey, Spike," Xander said. "Anya's working all day, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over. Maybe watch a game, drink a few beers, pack in some food that's not healthy in the slightest?" Spike laughed.
"Yeah, I should be able to spare a couple of hours," he answered. "I'll be over soon." He hung up and smirked.
"You're leaving?" Buffy asked, descending the stairs, looking at him. He frowned and looked back at her.
"Yeah," he shrugged. "Xander invited me over, so I figured I'd go over there for a bit. Is that okay?" She nodded sadly, looking down. He walked over to her and kissed her forehead lightly. "Then I'll come back and make you dinner. Deal?" She looked at him and smiled.
"Sounds good," she replied. "Have a good time. Say hi to him for me." He nodded and grabbed his keys, walking out the door.
She sighed and sat on the couch.
'What to do now?'
Not even twenty minutes passed, and Buffy was bored out of her mind. She even resorted to finding a small rubber ball and bouncing it around in the kitchen while reading through a magazine. She came across a picture of an overly thin model in next to nothing and narrowed her eyes.
'Do they enjoy looking like flesh-colored bones?' she thought, getting angry and putting more impact into bouncing the ball. She frowned as she watched it ricochet off the walls in the hallway before disappearing in Spike's room. She mumbled a swear and went to track it down, not spotting it anywhere on the floor of his bedroom.
'Maybe it rolled under his bed.'
She lay down on her stomach and pushed the covers that were hanging over the edge away to see if she could find it.
'Jackpot.'
It was sitting right in front of a stack of notebooks. Buffy raised an eyebrow, surprised that the notebooks were the only thing he'd stored under there. She retrieved the ball and looked at the notebooks.
'I can't look at them. I mean, if he hid them here, they must be important.' She paused. 'Or full of juicy information. Okay, that's probably wishful thinking. But I can't look. It would be wrong.'
Her hands moved of their own volition, bringing the stack out from under the bed. 'Bad Buffy. Since when are you so nosy?'
She shrugged and sat on top of his bed, looking at them, trying to decide whether she should look or not. 'Well, maybe just take a peek. That won't hurt anything.'
She took a deep breath and opened up the top notebook, looking at the first page. 'It's a poem.' She read through it and raised an eyebrow. 'It's beautifully written. And it's about a girl.' She flipped through more pages, reading them. 'Still about a girl.' She found herself going through every poem, finding that each one was always about some girl that he admired. 'What the hell?' She moved on to the next notebook, diligent to figure out what was going on.
An hour passed, and the notebooks were scattered around her, her looking at the fourth one from the pile. After reading the last page, she laid back on a pillow, staring at the notebooks all around her. 'He must've been in love with a girl before he decided he was gay. Maybe she broke his heart, and he chose men over women.' She frowned sadly. 'If I ever meet her, I'll kill her myself.'
When Spike came home from Xander's, he didn't see Buffy downstairs. He wandered up the stairs and frowned when he didn't see her there either, but he figured maybe she'd gone out for a bit. He slowly walked toward his room and saw her on his bed, his private collection of notebooks surrounding her. His heart seized in his chest, and he felt his face paling.
'How did she find those?' he thought, panicking. 'What…how…did she read them?'
"Buffy?" he asked, looking at her. She looked at him, the guilt clearly evident in her eyes. "What're you doing?"
She got off the bed quickly and looked down, not wanting to look at his eyes.
"I…you're not going to believe me," she said quietly, realizing how stupid her alibi really was.
'Sad part is, it's completely true. And if you were smart, you wouldn't have even touched the notebooks in the first place.'
"Why don't you try explaining it to me?" he asked, trying not to sound too angry and failing miserably.
"Well, I was playing with a rubber ball," she said, holding it in the palm of her hand as her proof. "And I wasn't paying attention to where I was throwing it, and it kind of…got away from me."
"And how does that lead to you looking at my personal belongings?" he asked, crossing his arms, his eyes narrowed.
"It rolled under your bed, and I went to get it back, and that's when I came across them," she said, shutting her eyes.
'There's no way you can explain the rest of the story. You won't get away with it.'
"And you just decided to whip them out and read through them?" he asked, not bothering to mask how disappointed he was.
"Yes," she admitted, feeling incredibly stupid. "I'm so sorry, Spike. I should never have brought them out. You had them hidden away, and they weren't for my eyes to see." He nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "I am really sorry though." She finally looked at him, and he saw the tears forming in her eyes. His anger dissipated almost instantly, and he came forward to hug her.
"It's okay," he said, enjoying the feel of her face burying itself against his chest. "I forgive you."
"You do?" she asked, surprised, looking at him again. He nodded and ran his hand over her hair.
"But just this once," he replied, winking at her. She managed a smile and watched as he grabbed the notebooks.
She walked away preparing to leave the room, but turned back when she got to the doorway.
"Spike?" she asked, waiting until he looked at her. "They're really quite good." She turned, leaving the room as Spike smiled.
'I can't say I believe she likes my witless prattle. But there's no way she knows who they are about.'
Comfort
Two days later, Buffy walked through the door, holding back her sobs as she slammed it and walked across the apartment. Sinking down onto the couch, Buffy buried her head in the cushions as the tears fell.
Spike walked out of his room, running a hand through his hair, still wet from the shower. He thought he'd heard the door, and walking into the main room, his eyes widened as he saw Buffy on the couch, her tiny body shaking with silent sobs.
Spike ran over to her, dropping to his knees in front of her. "Buffy, luv, what's wrong? What happened?"
Buffy raised her tear-streaked face to Spike, throwing herself into his arms as fresh sobs wracked her body.
"Sweetheart, you're scaring me," Spike murmured, his stomach in knots as he held onto her, smoothing her hair.
"I'm sorry," she whispered in a choked voice.
"What happened?" Spike asked, dreading the answer.
"Angel," Buffy whispered, clutching at his shirt as Spike leaned back to look at her.
"What did he do?" Spike growled.
Buffy took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself as she held onto him. "I-I went over there…I wanted to surprise him, and he was…"
Spike closed his eyes, already knowing the end to this story. "Another woman?" he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear.
Buffy nodded as fresh tears streaked down her face.
"I'm sorry, luv."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Spike carefully lifted her into his arms, turning around to sit down on the couch as Buffy burrowed into him, seeking the comfort he provided.
Spike murmured gentle reassurances to her, his hands never stopping their movements through her hair.
"Is there something wrong with me, Spike?" Buffy asked softly. "Something that makes guys want to run away from me?"
"No, baby," he whispered as she pulled back to look at him, feeling the need to go and beat the piss out of Angel. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you…any man is a fool not to see that."
Buffy sniffled, looking down as she tried to catch her breath. "Then why does it feel like my fault?" she whispered.
"Why don't you tell me?" he asked gently.
"Because I never slept with him," she murmured, looking at her hands.
Spike felt like cheering, but under the circumstances, settled on a gentle smile. "Buffy, no one should decide to stay with you just because you slept together. That's not fair to you, pet. You're better than that," he whispered, playing with her hair. "I just know that Angel is a bloody ponce for taking you for granted."
"Thank you," Buffy whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
Spike stared hungrily at her lips as they pulled away from each other before looking into her eyes, almost asking permission. Buffy looked at him nervously as she leaned forward again, lightly pressing her lips to his as his hands slowly wrapped around her body, pulling her closer to him as she straddled his lap.
Spike moaned as she deepened the kiss, lightly grinding herself against his growing erection. Pulling away from each other, their eyes met as Spike suddenly realized what they were doing.
"We can still stop, Buffy," he murmured.
Buffy looked into his eyes. "This is crazy, isn't it?" she asked softly, her hands running over his chest as she held her breath for his answer.
"It is," Spike agreed. "And after what I've just told you…"
"I know you would never take advantage of me, Spike," she whispered, looking to him for confirmation.
Spike leaned forward, brushing light kisses along her shoulder. "No, luv…I would never take advantage of you. Do you want to do this?"
Buffy didn't answer as she stood up, pulling him to his feet and kissing him again. Spike closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her lips against his as their hands worked on each other's clothes, trying to pull them off as quickly as possible.
When both were undressed, Spike felt his breath catch as Buffy blushed under his gaze. "You're beautiful," he said softly, leaving kisses along her jaw. "Exquisite."
Buffy arched her back against his body as Spike sat down on the couch, pulling her on top of him again. Their eyes met in understanding as Buffy slowly rose up, positioning him at her entrance, before sinking down onto him.
Spike's eyes widened as they looked at each other, his breath coming in gasps at the feel of her surrounding him. Buffy briefly closed her eyes, reopening them and biting her lip as she began to slowly move on top of him.
Spike could see and feel her hesitancy as he leaned forward, meeting her lips with his as his hands wandered along the curves of her body, slowly coming up to cup her breasts. He smiled against her lips at the breathy moans she was giving him. He could feel the change in her attitude, and it was his turn to moan as she began moving against him with more confidence.
Spike clenched his jaw as his hands traveled to her hips, controlling her movements so he wouldn't come too soon. His head fell to her shoulder as she moved with him.
"I've dreamed about this," she whispered, running her hands through his hair, her words alone nearly sending Spike over the edge. "I've wanted you for so long."
"I've wanted you, too, pet," he rasped, closing his eyes in pleasure. "Needed you…every bloody minute since I met you."
Buffy vaguely heard his words, but didn't have time to think about them when she feltl herself begin to lose control as she moved at a more furious pace. "Oh God, Spike," she moaned as he wrapped his arms around her.
Their lips met in a passionate kiss. Buffy broke away after a moment, screaming out her climax as she moved on top of him, losing all of her inhibitions as she rode wave after wave of ecstasy.
Her scream sent Spike pulsing inside of her, calling out her name as they continued to move together, both riding out the bliss.
As reality began to come back to them, Spike felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. 'You should have told her,' he thought, inwardly kicking himself. 'It's not fair that she doesn't know.'
Buffy's eyes widened as she caught her breath. "Spike-"
Spike placed a finger over her lips as they separated from each other, both still craving the contact the other had provided. "Don't think," he murmured, pulling her close to him as they lay down on the couch together. "Don't worry about anything. We'll work everything out."
Buffy relaxed, cuddling close to him as her eyes drifted closed in exhaustion.
Buffy's eyes slowly opened the next morning, frowning slightly when she encountered a muscular chest in her line of vision. Her eyes widened as she sat up, the previous night's activities coming crashing back to her as she took in their naked bodies.
At some point, Spike must have covered them with a blanket. Buffy grabbed it, wrapping it around her body as she began to gather her clothes. "Oh my God," she said, trying to hold her tears back. She realized that her weakness had probably ruined the best friendship she had ever had.
Spike stirred slightly, opening his eyes and smiling when he saw Buffy. The smile immediately disappeared when he saw that she was rapidly trying to find her clothes.
"What's wrong, pet?"
Buffy's eyes snapped up to him before turning away with a blush at his naked form. Spike smiled, but sat up anyway, quickly pulling on his jeans before walking over to her.
"What's wrong?" he asked again.
"I'm sorry, Spike," Buffy whispered, biting her lip against the tears. "I never meant to take it that far, and I've probably really messed this up and-"
"Buffy! You haven't messed up anything," Spike said, wanting to take her in his arms but settling on grabbing her hand.
"How can you say that?" Buffy asked. "I just slept with a man who I had written off as being my number one off-limits guy and-"
"Buffy," Spike said softly, closing his eyes before opening them to stare into Buffy's. "I'm not gay."
Setting It Straight
Buffy looked at him, tilting her head and raising an eyebrow before slightly smiling. "Ha ha, very funny," she said. "Thanks for trying to make me feel better about this, but-"
"Buffy, listen to me," Spike said, putting his hands on her shoulders and locking eyes with hers. "I'm not gay." Her smile fell, and she took a step back from him, her eyes never leaving his.
"What?" she asked, her tone suddenly becoming both serious and confused. "What do you mean you're not gay?"
Spike looked down, ashamed. She stood straighter, her eyes widening. "But that woman said…you said…the poetry, the shopping- oh god, the shopping! You were in the dressing room! And Victoria's Secret…oh my god!"
She covered her face in her hands, finally letting tears fall. Spike moved closer to her to try to hug her, but she pushed him back, her eyes filled with fire. "Don't you dare touch me! How could you? You lied to me, Spike! Why would you lie to me?" He watched tears roll down her cheeks and felt horrible.
'Yeah, mate, why did you keep up the charade?' he asked himself, running a hand through his hair.
"You were so comfortable with me when you thought I was gay," he said sadly. "I liked the way we were together, and I…I couldn't bring myself to tell you." He paused. "And now I really wish I would've."
"Get out," she said sharply, crossing her arms. He looked at her, stunned. "Get out!" He pulled on his shirt and slid on his boots before leaving quickly, going down the hall and knocking on a familiar door.
"Spike?" Andrew asked, shocked. Spike looked at him, and Andrew could tell something was wrong. He let him in and shut the door behind him. "What happened?"
"I buggered up everything," Spike muttered, sitting down on the couch and burying his face in his hands.
Buffy lay down on her bed, sobbing into her pillow.
'How could he lie to me?' she asked herself. 'Why would he do that? I trusted him. Completely. I can't believe Spike would do something like that. This isn't real. This isn't happening.' She pinched herself.
"Oww!" she said, looking at the red spot forming on her arm. "It is real. He lied to me, and this is all real." She heard a knock on the door and hesitated before getting up.
'If it's him, I'll kick his ass,' she thought, heading down the stairs and opening the door, surprised. "Xander?" she asked, looking at him. He smiled at her and frowned when he noticed her red eyes and tear tracks down her cheeks.
"Buffy, is everything all right?" he asked quietly. She shook her head and broke down crying again. He hugged her, genuinely worried. "What happened?"
"Spike," she said, backing away a little to wipe off her cheeks. "I'm so sorry- your shirt is all splotchy now." Xander looked at it and shrugged, managing a smile.
"It'll dry," he said before turning his attention back to her. "What happened with Spike?"
"He lied to me," she replied, looking at him. "And so did you, for that matter! You both said he was gay!" Xander felt guilt flood him.
'So the bleached wonder finally told her the truth. Explains why he's not around,' he thought.
"Buffy, let me explain," he said, ushering her to the couch to sit down while crouching in front of her. "Spike is a good man, and yeah, he may have pulled off an elaborate lie behind your back, but I know he cares about you. I don't know why he didn't tell you right away, but he adores you, and I know he never wanted to hurt you." She looked at him, seeing how sincere he seemed.
"I don't know where he is," she said, looking down at her lap. "I told him to leave, and he did, and I don't know where he went." He sighed and pulled out his cell phone. "Xander?" He looked at her. "Why do you think he lied to me?"
"Because he likes you and didn't have the balls to say it," Xander said, smiling softly. She looked at him. "He's liked you ever since he first saw you. From day one, it's been Buffy this and Buffy that. At least you're a good woman. Not like Drusilla was." Her eyes widened.
"Drusilla?" she asked, her mind spinning. "Did Spike call her a nickname?"
"Yeah, Dru," he replied, confused. "Why?" She looked down.
'And that was your own fault, Summers,' she thought. 'Dru is a girl, not a guy. Damn it.'
"Can you call him?" she asked hesitantly. He nodded and dialed the number.
'What do I even say to him?' she thought, running her hands through her hair.
Spike's cell phone rang in his pocket, and he pulled it out, looking at the Caller ID. "Sorry, Andrew, I've got to take this call." Andrew waved it off as Spike answered it. "Hey, Xander. What's up?"
"Where are you, man?" Xander asked. "Buffy told me you left." Spike raised an eyebrow.
"Buffy? You talked to her?" he asked, standing up quickly. "Where are you, mate?"
"Answer me first," Xander said, a hint of mischief in his tone.
"Not bloody funny," Spike said sharply. "Did she call you? Why were you talking to Buffy?"
"Because I'm in your apartment with her," Xander replied. Spike froze. "So, I repeat, where are you?"
"Down the hall," Spike answered, looking at Andrew, who smiled back at him. "I'll be right there." He hung up and headed to the door. "Sorry to cut this short."
"Go get the girl, Spike," Andrew said, watching Spike leave and go into his apartment. Andrew sighed dreamily and smiled as he shut the door.
Buffy jumped at the soft knock on the door, not because it scared her, but because she knew who was on the other side of the door. Xander walked over to answer it, giving his friend a compassionate look before turning to Buffy.
"I'll leave you two alone."
Buffy didn't say anything as she and Spike stared at each other, her small arms wrapped around her body in a comforting gesture. Spike took a step forward, but Buffy merely took a step back as he reached out to her.
"Buffy, I'm-"
"Why'd you let it go on so long?" she whispered.
"I don't know," he said softly. "Why didn't you ever ask me?"
"Why didn't I ask…"
Buffy trailed off in surprise as she looked at him.
"My God, Spike, when you tell me your ex is Dru, what am I supposed to think? When you have your friend pose as your boyfriend- and don't think we won't be talking about that one later," she said, pointing at him. "I mean, for crying out loud, you have a job where you dress up like one of the Village People, and you think I needed more clarity? Maybe I should have asked you, but you had plenty of opportunities to come clean."
"I have," Spike murmured. "And I never meant for things to go that far…at least, not without you knowing the truth."
Spike took a hesitant step forward as Buffy worried her lower lip, looking at the floor.
"Buffy, I would never hurt you."
"You already did," she said softly, shaking her head as she battled fresh tears. "How am I supposed to trust you again?"
Although the context of the question wasn't in the best form, Spike couldn't help the small amount of relief at the idea that she might try and trust him again. Maybe all wasn't lost yet.
"Have you lied about anything else?" she asked softly. "Now would be the time to tell me."
Spike quickly shook his head. "That's the only thing," he said quietly as he walked toward her. "The name's William, I love having movie nights with my roommate, I really do hate that ponce you were dating, Andrew's really not my type, I AM terrified of your driving, and I like writing poetry," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist. "About you."
Buffy's eyes snapped up to his at the confession. "Me?"
Spike nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. "I've never felt this way about anyone, Buffy. When I thought I'd lost you…have I lost you?" he asked in a strained voice.
Buffy shook her head, attempting to clear it. "Can I have some time?" she asked softly, looking into his eyes.
Spike felt fear rip through his chest but nodded, dropping his arms from her waist as he walked to the door.
"Spike."
Spike turned at the sound of his name.
"No matter what happens…I want you as my friend."
Spike gave her a gentle smile. "I've wanted you from day one, Buffy. If you're willing to give me anything, that's fine with me."
Buffy watched as he walked out of the apartment. "I've wanted you, too," she whispered.
Bribery Will Get You...
Spike sat in his car, resting his head on the steering wheel, as he took deep breaths.
'She's giving me another chance. I owe her for that,' he thought to himself, his mind reeling with thoughts. 'I owe her for hurting her so bad.' He sighed. 'But how do I pay her back for the damage I've caused her already?' He started the car and began driving aimlessly through town. 'Well, I have a feeling flowers alone won't do the trick…maybe chocolate?'
"No, you owe her big time, mate," he said out loud. "But what should I give her?"
He came up with an idea and pulled his car over in front of the art gallery.
'Well, I could buy her art, yes,' he thought, not disliking the idea too much. 'It is her major, after all.' He frowned. 'Is there a price minimum on forgiveness gifts after you've lied to a girl since you met her? Because I'm thinking everything in there is going to be expensive. Not that Buffy's isn't worth it, but I don't have an extra grand sitting around.' He pulled out his cell phone and called Xander's apartment. His girlfriend Anya answered. 'This'll work.'
"Hey, Anya," Spike said. "If Xander lied to you about something big, and he wanted to repay you, what would you want?"
"Lots of orgasms," she answered bluntly. "What is he lying to me about?" Spike smiled slightly.
"He's not lying to you," Spike replied. "Thanks, luv." He hung up the phone and looked around town.
'Not that I'm against the orgasms idea, but I don't think Buffy would jump for that right now,' he thought. 'Well, maybe.' He smirked and quickly dismissed the thought. 'Come on, Spike, what does she like? What would make her smile?' He suddenly came up with the perfect gift and drove to the mall.
After taking a shower and eating something, Buffy decided to try to take her mind off of things by watching TV. She failed miserably, instantly being bombarded by thoughts.
'I know he screwed up, but I don't think he's a bad man,' she thought. 'At least he didn't cheat on me.' She frowned. 'Why am I always attracted to liars and cheaters? Do I have some sick obsession of being drawn to the ones who will hurt me?' She ran her hands through her hair before resting her head on the back of the couch. 'He seemed genuinely sorry. And he did agree to being my friend, so that's good I guess. But how can we be just friends after what we've been through, what we've done together?' She sighed. 'And why did he leave? I could've still talked some of this stuff out.' Her mind popped back to something he had said.
"The poetry," she said quietly, her eyes widening. She jumped up and went to his room, laying on her stomach beside the bed and retrieving the notebooks he kept there. She sat on his bed again and decided to re-read them, thinking that she'd gain more of an understanding about how he really felt about her. Plus, knowing the words he had written were about her made her want to be reminded of them and how she felt reading them. She smiled, looking at the first poem she opened to. "He wrote about me."
She had been reading for at least half an hour when she heard the door open. She got up and shoved the notebooks under the bed again, hoping he wouldn't find out about her reading them this time.
"Spike?" she asked, walking out of his room, praying he wouldn't see her exiting it.
'I'll just say I was in the bathroom,' she thought. 'Right, not looking at his private collection of poetry. But he said they were about me- what girl wouldn't go snooping to look at something about her?' She went down the hallway and saw Spike in the doorway and something in his arms with a ribbon on it.
"Oh my god," she said quietly, her hand going up to cover her mouth in shock. "You bought me a puppy." He grinned proudly at her and looked down at the chocolate Labrador with the red bow on it.
"Do you like it?" Spike asked hesitantly when he noticed the look in her eyes.
'She hates it,' he thought sadly. 'She likes dogs, doesn't she? Maybe she doesn't like the idea of living with one. And I guess it's kind of a commitment to raise one. It's like a child. Our child.' He withheld a smirk at the thought. 'But I can't return him. I've already grown fond of the little pup.'
"It's…it's darling," she said, finally smiling and approaching him. He smiled and held it out to her. She took it from him and cradled it in her arms. "He's so tiny and cute!"
'She looks so happy. Maybe she's not so against the idea of us raising a puppy together.'
"So you like it, luv? You won't make me give it back?" Spike asked. She looked at him with wide eyes and shook her head vehemently.
"You're not taking it away from me," she replied, looking down at the dog and smiling again. "I love it." She giggled. "We've got to name it! What should we name it?" She paused. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"It's a girl," he replied, petting its head softly, smiling. "The only female chocolate lab puppy at the store, to be exact. I figured since you like chocolate, I'd get you one like this." She smiled at him and looked at the puppy, noticing how happy it looked.
"Well, can't name it Spike," she grinned. Spike growled slightly at her, and she looked at him. "Would be kind of funny, though."
"Are you implying that I'm a dog?" he asked, managing a smirk. She giggled and looked at the dog.
"If it's a girl, I'm not naming her Spike," she said, looking at the dog's brown eyes. "Hmm, what should we name you, little one?" Then it came to her. "What about Sunshine?"
"Sunshine," Spike repeated, looking at the puppy. "It's perfect, luv," he said with a smile. His smile slowly faded as he stared at Buffy, seeing how happy she was. "Am I forgiven?" he asked hesitantly.
Buffy looked at the tiny puppy, dozing in her arms, before raising her eyes to Spike. "I think we still need to talk," she said softly. "But I'm not mad anymore."
Spike breathed a sigh of relief. "Talking is good," he said with a nod.
A few minutes later, Buffy held the sleeping puppy on her lap as she gently stroked its fur. "You do know this is bribery, right?" she asked as Spike looked at her with an innocent expression.
"I don't know what you're talking about, luv," he said with wide eyes.
Buffy gave him a soft smile, her eyes continuously traveling back to the puppy. "What comes next?" she asked quietly.
"I was thinking that would be up to you," he replied, watching her anxiously.
Buffy stayed quiet for a moment, avoiding his eyes. "I like you, Spike," she whispered, almost shyly. "I've liked you since I first met you, and when I thought that you were…you turned into the best friend I've ever had."
Spike watched her carefully, restraining himself from reaching out and touching her- he didn't want to scare her off. "I feel the same, pet," he said softly, watching as Buffy raised her eyes to his.
"Then I'll ask you again," Buffy said with a hopeful expression. "What comes next?"
Spike slowly slid over to her, careful not to wake the puppy as he slipped an arm around her shoulders. "What if I said…us?"
"Us?"
"I'm sorry I lied, Buffy," he whispered, brushing a gentle kiss along her forehead as Buffy shut her eyes, enjoying the feel of him so close. "Am I forgiven?"
Buffy didn't answer as she angled her head, meeting his lips in a gentle kiss. Spike let his hands drift up to her hair, holding her head in place as his tongue drifted along her lower lip, begging entrance. Buffy moaned when her lips parted, letting his tongue meet hers in a soft caress.
This was their first kiss. It was the first one not filled with confusion. Not based on something fake.
The passion of the kiss slowly faded as Spike pulled away. Buffy looked at him with clouded eyes before nervously biting her lip.
"What wrong?" he asked softly, letting his hand trail along her cheek.
"What happens if this doesn't work out?" she asked. "We could lose what we have."
"Not necessarily," Spike argued gently before smiling. "We could be like Ross and Rachel."
Buffy raised an eyebrow at him. "It took them more than ten years to figure out what they had."
"I don't need to figure out what I have," he replied in a husky whisper as Buffy blushed.
He leaned in for another soft kiss before carefully pulling her off the couch, watching with a smile as Sunshine opened her sleepy eyes to give them a look of indignation.
"I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted," he said softly. "Someone wore me out last night," he finished with a grin as Buffy blushed. Spike carefully took the puppy from Buffy and placed her in a dog bed that he'd carried in earlier. He had to smile when the dog curled up comfortably and went back to sleep.
"Lazy little thing, isn't she?" he asked with a smile as Buffy giggled.
"What if she gets up in the middle of the night?" Buffy asked.
"We can put her in my room," he said softly as he walked her to the stairs. "I'll hear if she gets up," he continued, letting his hand trail over her arm.
"How will you hear her if you're upstairs?"
Spike tilted his head, studying Buffy as she took his hand in her smaller one and began leading him up the staircase. "Buffy," he finally whispered as they got to the top of the stairs. "You don't have to-"
His words were cut off as Buffy's lips fused with his. Spike's arms immediately wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer as their tongues dueled together.
Buffy broke away after a moment, leaving them both gasping for air as she bit her bottom lip. Spike watched with lust-filled eyes as she began backing toward the bed, slowly stripping her clothes along the way.
Buffy gave him a coy smile as the last of her clothes fell from her body, causing Spike's breath to come in small gasps as she slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. He watched as she slid along the comforter, propping herself up as she looked at him. "Aren't you coming?"
Spike slipped his shirt over his head with a smirk as he approached the bed, shedding the rest of his clothes before crawling the length of her body. "Not yet," he murmured, causing a red flush to tint Buffy's cheeks. Spike chuckled, shaking his head as he looked at her.
"What?" Buffy asked, suddenly self-conscious.
Spike leaned down, leaving a gentle kiss on her lips before answering. "Look at what we're about to do, and you're embarrassed about a little innuendo."
Buffy giggled softly, her smile fading as Spike settled in between her legs, letting her hips cradle his.
"Are you sure about this, Buffy?" he asked, letting his hands run through her hair, keeping her as relaxed as possible.
"I'm sure," she said softly, kissing along his neck and shoulders, smiling when his muscles quivered under her touch.
Spike took a deep breath, easing into her body with a moan as Buffy moved with him. He slowly began to thrust in and out of her, repressing ever urge to pound into her welcoming body, not wanting to hurt her.
Buffy pushed against him, craving more contact. They moved together for several minutes, slowly picking up speed as Spike began plunging into her with more abandon. Their slick bodies each seeking release as their lips met in a hungry kiss.
Spike could feel his climax approaching as Buffy writhed beneath him, seconds before her muscles began fluttering, squeezing him almost painfully as she screamed out her release.
Buffy's scream of pleasure sent Spike over the edge as he thrust into her. "Buffy!"
Both gasped for breath as Buffy let her hands trail along Spike's back before he slowly rose above her, looking into her emerald eyes.
"I never thought I'd have this," he whispered, brushing the hair out of her eyes.
Buffy felt her body tremble at the intensity of his gaze. "Me either," she whispered seconds before his lips met hers.
Spike slowly rolled, pulling Buffy with him as he left her comforting body. "I don't know about you, pet, but I'm exhausted."
"Me too," she murmured before a smile spread across her face. "Now…about you 'dating' Xander…"
"Bloody hell," Spike groaned, throwing his head back on the pillows as Buffy giggled.
When You Love Someone
A month had passed since Spike confessed, and Buffy was happy that their relationship hadn't diminished. If anything, it had grown stronger, especially due to the fact that they were a couple now instead of just being friends.
They went to the mall to shop one afternoon, entrusting Andrew with Sunshine. Buffy had flashbacks of the times they'd been there in the past, when she was clueless as to the fact he was really straight.
'You think I would've noticed something was up,' she thought, thinking about when they had been in Victoria's Secret, grinning. 'Well, figuratively speaking, at least.' She giggled to herself as Spike looked at her.
"What's so funny, luv?" he asked curiously, smiling at her while wrapping his arm around her waist.
"I just can't believe I didn't figure your little lie out sooner," she shrugged. "I mean, I know I was in denial about stuff, but really, how could you be gay? The poetry is a little questionable still, and I wasn't kidding that day about dressing like a member of the Village People-"
"Hey!" Spike interrupted indignantly.
"BUT," Buffy continued, bringing his attention back to her. "You're not like any of the gay guys I've ever known."
"Not every gay guy is like Andrew," Spike chuckled, lightly kissing her temple as she laughed.
"I thought you two were buddies?" she asked, smirking. Spike looked down at her and smirked, too.
"A person can only handle so much nerdy stuff," he replied. She shot him a look playfully.
"Andrew isn't a nerd," she said, trying not to smile. "He's a passionate hobbyist." Spike laughed again.
"Right, I can agree to that," he said before leaning down and kissing her. "Now, let's have another trip back to Victoria's Secret," he said, biting his lips and raising an eyebrow at her as she giggled.
"Going to pick things out for me?" she asked suggestively. He groaned and kissed her again before grabbing her hand and pulling her along behind him to the store.
The couple returned to their apartment hours later, bags from various stores filling their hands. Sunshine came bounding towards them before jumping on Buffy's leg, her tail wagging excitedly.
"Well, hello, cutie," she grinned, picking the dog up in her arms. She noticed a pout on Spike's lips. "What?"
"You called her my nickname," he answered. Buffy kissed him softly. "I suppose I'll forgive you."
"Thanks ever so," she laughed, petting the dog's head. She noticed Andrew sitting on the couch, paging through a magazine. "How's it going, Andrew?" He closed the magazine and stood up.
"Pretty well," he replied. "How was shopping?" He looked at all of the bags. "Productive?"
"You betcha," Buffy giggled, putting down Sunshine. "Thanks for watching her for us."
"Not a problem," Andrew shrugged, heading for the door. "I like dogs. She seems like a kindred spirit." Both Buffy and Spike exchanged a look as Andrew opened the door. "Well, I better go," he continued. "I have a date."
"Really? With who?" Buffy asked.
"Oh, a guy I met at the grocery store. His name is Jonathon Levinson and he seems really nice. I'll see you around," he said with a wave as he left, and the couple instantly smiled at each other.
"'Kindred spirit'?" Spike asked, looking at her. "Maybe he's found his own." Buffy nodded.
"And I was thinking about introducing him to that Lorne guy who owns the club down the street," Spike said with a smile as Buffy laughed.
"He can always be a back-up," she said before a wicked smile flashed on her features. "Unless you want to fill in that role…since you're so close, after all."
"Will you stop it?" he asked, grinning, coming closer to her and tickling her. She shrieked loudly, breaking down into hysterics before she managed to fight back, getting him to laugh, too. "Fine. Truce?"
"Yeah," she agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. "You're forgiven."
Buffy and Spike decided to take Sunshine to the beach after dinner, right around sunset. The beach was practically deserted, so they unleashed her, letting her run through the shallow surf and follow them as they walked down the beach, hand-in-hand. The dog never strayed far from Buffy, anyway.
Buffy looked at him, seeing how the sun's dying rays cascaded over his features, making him look even more gorgeous than normal. She smiled brightly and squeezed his hand.
"Spike?" she asked quietly. He looked at her, slightly concerned. "I love you." He instantly stopped walking, an eyebrow raised. She smiled and put her hands on his hips, looking up at him. "I've loved you for a long time. As a friend originally, but I always secretly wanted it to be something more. And now that it is…I just wanted to tell you. I'm in love with you." He paused before grinning and picking her up, swinging her around in a circle. "Spike!" He put her back down and kissed her as passionately as he could, cupping her face in his hands. When they finally broke apart to breathe, they locked eyes and rested their foreheads together.
"I love you, too," he whispered, running his hand over her hair and kissing her softly this time. "I love you so bloody much, Buffy. You don't know how long I've wanted to say that to you."
"Since we met, right?" she joked, giggling. He laughed, too, and held her close to him in a hug.
"Something like that, yeah," he replied. "I just didn't think that you loved me back, yet."
"You knew I'd love you?" she asked, looking at him and smiling. He returned the smile.
"I wished it," he said, looking into her eyes. Sunshine suddenly nuzzled her nose into Buffy's leg. She promptly bent down and picked her up, petting her. "She looks sleepy."
"Should we take her home and get her to bed?" Buffy asked, looking at him.
"Sure," he smiled, wiggling his eyebrows. "I'll take both of my girls home and get them to bed."
"You're evil," Buffy giggled, kissing him and taking his hand in hers again. "I better be the only girl in our bed."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Spike replied, leading them back towards the car.
The End
Note: Thank you to everyone for all of the awesome reviews! Allison and I are planning on co-writing another story in the near-future. We already have an idea, so look for it (probably sometime after the holidays). However, if you can't wait, check out Spuffy Fantasy and we have collaborated to work on the story Fireworks (it's been 'adopted' and unfortunately the A/N was left off, so people don't know that she is the other author, but I hope that is corrected with the next update). We are the authors starting with chapter 3 and it was the first story we co-wrote together. Make sure and keep up with that one (although it is angst, not fluff) and please leave reviews for us. Thanks again! ~Ashlee