Life Serial

In Spike's crypt, lower level. Buffy and Spike are sitting on a coffin. Buffy pours whiskey from a flask into two mismatched glasses. She's obviously been there for a while, and (as we see later in the dialog) she's told Spike about what's been going on with the job hunting. It also seems to me that this isn't her first drink.

They drink, and Buffy makes a face at the taste.

B: Life is stupid.

S: I have a dim memory of that, yeah. and I didn't figure you were here cadging my whiskey cause life's all full of bloody peaches...

B: (Not paying much attention to what he's saying) There's this...thing. Someone's doing stuff to me. Messing up my life. Except it was sort of pre-messed already. You know, with school, the jobs... Pretty bad even without the evil.

S: So, you're just, what, gonna let this...whoever play you, figure out what kills you?

B: Giles is working on it.

S: (scoffing) Oh, good, cause Giles wields the mighty force of library books...

B: (starting to get tipsy now) You'd do better?

S: Damn right. You hit the demon world, ask questions, throw punches, find out what's in the air.

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Buffy pours more drinks from the flask.

S: And it's fun, too.

B: Not my kind of fun.

S: (softly) Yeah. It is. and your life's gonna get a lot less cdonfusing when you figure that out.

B: You have had soooooo to much to drink that I am cuttin you off.

They drink.

S: (Smiling at her.) You're not the schoolgirl.

She empties the flask into her glass.

S: You're not a shopgirl. You're a creature of the darkness, like me. (His voice takes on a seductive tone) Try on my world. See how good it feels.

B: (really tipsy now) Are there drinks in your world?

Spike gives her an evil grin...

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* * * * *

At the bar:

Buffy and Spike come in. Buffy comments on how loud the motorcycle is. The bartender greets Spike by name, and doesn't sound too thrilled to see him. Spike tells him, the usual, and one for the lady. He pays for the drinks. The bartender starts to pour, but Buffy grabs the bottle. Spike rolls his eyes and pays for the bottle, too. He takes Buffy into the back room where "the real action is." There are four demons playing poker. Spike wants to know what the game is, and one demon says, "You know what the game is, Spike." Another says that Spike kills other demons, and doesn't want to let him sit in. Spike grabs him, throws him out, and sits down. Buffy, who's quite squiffed by now, is incredulous. She wants to stick to the original plan and beat them up for info. Spike tells her they'll get more information out of the demons' mouths than from bloody wounds in their dead bodies. Buffy, clearly unhappy with this, shrugs and sits down in a corner with her bottle. Spike goes back to the table.

Demon 1: Ante up.

The demons each put a kitten in the pot.

B: You play for =kittens=???

S: So. Who's going to advance me a tiny tabby, get me started? (the demons just sit there) Come on, somebody's got to stake me.

B: (Very big grin, like, "what a great straight line!") I'll do it!.

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Spike gives her a disgusted look.

B: (tilts her head, giving him a smirk) You thought I was just going to let that lie there? (She's obviously teasing him)

Later in the game:

Spike lays down a straight flush. The demons make disgusted noises and throw down their cards. Spike starts to pack up his winnings.

Demon 2: You're lucky today, Spike.

S: (indicating Buffy) Got my good luck charm with me.

Demon 3: You cleaned us out. Nobody's that lucky.

D1: Yeah, I'm starting to think you cheat.

S: Me? I cheat? (indicating D3) He's got x-ray vision.

D3: I'm not using it!

D1: We're not the ones cheating!

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He pushes back from the chair, and Spike raises an eyebrow at the ace stuck under a fold of his skin. the demon looks abashed and pulls it out.

D1: I had no idea that was there! I could have leaned on that days ago!

D2: Better go, Spike. Things could get ugly.

D3: Things got ugly the second he walked in. With his -human-. (the word is obviously derogatory.)

D1: Look at her. Her skin is so tight I don't know how you can look at her.

Spike stands up, furious. Nobody talks about Buffy like that...

D2: Leave your winnings and get out. And we'll forget this whole thing.

S: (the light dawns) Ahhhh. It's a setup, innit? Squeez a few quid out of the vamp. Well, I'll tell you what you didn't count on. (He indicates Buffy, with the air of "I know something you don't know.") Me and the bird. You want a fight, you face the two of us.

B: What? I'm not getting into a bar fight. I'll beat 'em up for information, great, but not to defend your right to gamble for kittens. Which, by the way, is -stupid- currency.

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D2: (Grinning) They're delicious.

S: Come on, Slayer, a big fight's just what you need.

B: Forget it. I'm not playing by anyone else's rules any more. I'm done. (she turns out the kittens.)

S: Hey! I won those!

B: Scamper! Be free, kittens! (she turns and goes out.)

D2: The money's getting away!

The demons start gathering up the kittens.

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Spike goes after Buffy, catching up with her in the bar. He grabs her arm.

S: What's wrong, love?

B: What's =wrong=? You were gonna help me! You...you were gonna beat heads and fix my life. You're lame! Tonight sucks! And look at me--look at Stupid!Buffy, too dumb for college. And Freak!Buffy, too strong for construction work. And my job at the magic shop--I was bored to tears even -before- the hour that wouldn't end. And the onlyh person I can even stand to be around is a...a neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker!

S: Oh. You saw the cheating, did you? (he looks a little guilty. But not much.)

B: Also... I think you're drunk. (She wobbles out, her nose in the air.)

Spike grimaces. This is a right cock-up...

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When he comes out of the bar, he's deep in thought, probably calling himself six kinds of idiot. He's not watching where he's going, and almost runs over Buffy, who's standing and looking at the Troika's black van.

B: That van...

S: (Okay, she's not totally pissed) You want to steal a van, love, I'm with you, but we do have the motorcycle...

Buffy realizes where she's seen the van, and goes over to it. A big, brawny red demon with wings and horns steps out from behind it (this is Jonathan, spelled to look like a demon), and she tries to hit it. It looks like she swings straight for the head, but it's a whiff, and she stumbles. Then she kicks him full in the chest. She can't keep her balance and falls. The Jonathan-demon says, "Well struck," and tells her he's been testing her. Then he throws down a smoke bomb and runs away. Spike helps Buffy up. She comments on the major suckage of her fighting, and then tells him she feels sick...

We next see her at home, so presumably Spike took her there.

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