Due to the fact that one of the primary themes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is growing up, coming of age, the Buffyverse contains many characters who search for a way to define themselves. One example of this is Willow; she often attempts to find self-worth through her magic abilities. Other characters go so far as to completely re-invent themselves, much like Spike’s transition from shy poet William to “The Big Bad.” Such methods of creating an identity commonly include a change in clothing, abilities, and attitudes. However, other, more subtle methods of self-definition are also used in the Buffyverse. This paper focuses on one such method that is often overlooked: the definition of self, as reflected in those people with whom one chooses to associate.

Throughout the series, characters find self-worth and existential meaning by voluntarily linking themselves to others. Not only do characters find value in what their friends think of them, but also in how others view them and their friends (or would, if they knew the gang’s true activities). For example, Willow’s friendship with Buffy is not only about having a best gal pal, but about Willow finding self-worth because she helps the hero. Using the Lacanian mirror-stage model as a theoretical base, (a psycho-analytic philosophy which focuses on self-identity through reflection) this paper will explore a variety of relationships in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and how various characters define themselves through the reflections they cast in those around them.