Story Summary: Begins at the end of the episode "Fool For Love" (Season 5). What if Buffy hadn't kept completely silent when Spike sat down next to her? What if she had asked him to stay and opened up to him, even a little?
Author's Note: Chapter 1 - Chapter 7 were jointly written. From then on Tasha only writes them. This story was adopted with the permission of Miss Kitty (and at her request). I will try to give accurate warnings, depending on the chapter, as I do plan for this to move from PG-13 through to NC-17. There will be various types of claiming involved as well. If you love Riley, don't read it because I never really liked him. This is my first posted fiction from this genre. Constructive criticisms are welcome; flaming is not.
Disclaimer: All characters originally created by Joss Wheadon and Mutant Enemy belong to them by all rights. I just sneak them out of the vaults to play with them whenever I can. I do not make any money off of this. I have only the satisfaction that others enjoy the creativity and storylines that I come up with for our heroes, heroines, and villains.
Distribution: I welcome this story to be posted in related archives, but PLEASE let me know first. I'd like to know where this is going and see the feedback that people have for it. So contact me at tasha@timelessrose.net (please put the story title in the subject of the email) to ask permission before posting this story anywhere. If you nominate this story for an award, please let me know at the email link above too. Thank you kindly.
'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.
Not Beneath Me - Prologue
Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed on the Index page of this story.
'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.
Buffy Anne Summers walked out past the kitchen door and onto the back porch of her home. Every bit of her heart screamed out with a splitting ache after hearing the news from her mother about the now scheduled hospital visit. 'So much for it being nothing.' She thought. 'Why couldn't she tell me sooner?'
Buffy sank down onto the porch steps, blankly staring out at the yard. Her eyes filled with tears, and she buried her face in her hands and lap. 'Nothing can go right anymore. First I'm staked with my own stake, then Spike, and now this.' Her body shook with the sobs that lodged in her throat.
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Spike aka William The Bloody swaggered down the street with a definite destination and purpose in mind. 'This time that damn slayer won't be so fortunate. Beneath her ... HA!' His grip tightened around the barrel of the shotgun. Black booted feet crushed through the foliage that lined the Slayer's backyard on Revello Drive. 'I'll show her who's beneath whom.'
Anger and hatred burned in Spike's eyes. The last time a woman had said those words to him it destroyed him, and he became a creature of the night. This time he would get back some of his own, as it were. Sure and determined steps moved assuredly along the back lawn, sauntering closer and closer to Buffy's position on the stairs.
Cold, steely blue eyes glared at the Slayer, not even recognizing the girl's pain in the haze of his own crumbling heart. With a twist of a sneer on his lips, and his chiseled cheeks sucked in deeply, he cocked back both barrels of the shotgun.
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The click of each barrel being readied broke the silence of the dark night and disturbed the little world the Slayer had slipped into. Buffy looked up at Spike with tears in her eyes, the despair, pain and worry evident in the glistening green orbs. "What do you want now?" Perhaps if she weren't crying the harshness of her voice would have secured the vampire's anger at her. As it was, it knocked him from his reverie.
Spike's anger started to abate a little. His face, only a few moments ago filled with loathing, changed to a look of concern and care. His gaze locked with hers as she spoke. 'Is she crying?' He asked himself. With each passing moment his face softened just a little bit more as the love that he holds in his heart for her melted the icy barrier he had worked to erect in the last few hours. "What's wrong?" He gulped when he asked.
"I don't want to talk about it." Buffy looked down at the ground and away from the probing eyes of Spike. No matter what she was dealing with now, she couldn't let him see her pain. After their meeting earlier in the night, she was sure that he would revel in her grief or mock her.
It didn't matter how much disgust or revulsion Buffy shoved at him earlier. Spike's heart could not stop from constricting upon seeing her like this. He might be undead, but she could make his heart beat or break with just a look or a word. "Is there something I can do?"
Buffy was silent. The lost look on her face only deepened with each breath inhaled and exhaled. It was almost as if Spike wasn't even standing there in front of her. She had zoned out, back to her thoughts once more.
Spike tilted his head to the side watching her. What could make his Slayer cry? Cautiously he moved to the stairs. Backward glances at the shotgun in his hand made his gut retch. How could he have been thinking of killing her? He laid the gun against the porch post and let it go.
Spike sat down next to Buffy, slowly so as not to spook her. Buffy didn't flinch at his nearness but neither did she seem to welcome it. After several minutes of silence, Spike tried to break the heaviness surrounding his Slayer. He patted her on the back and repeated, "Is there something I can do?"
The touch was enough to slap Buffy back into reality. Instinctively she pushed Spike away and stood. "No!" She looked away from him again, out into the dark night, and sighed. Her emotions fought to take control of her. So, she spoke out to no one in particular, "God, why does life have to be so hard?"
Not Beneath Me - (1) Maybe, Maybe Not
Chapter Summary: Begins at the end of the episode "Fool For Love" (Season 5). Will Buffy keep pushing Spike away and remain silent, or will she open up to him a little? Why might she be willing to share things with Spike and not Riley? Hmmm, some very good questions. Read and find out the answers. {smiles}
Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed on the Index page of this story.
'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.
The touch was enough to slap Buffy back into reality. Instinctively she pushed Spike away and stood. "No!" She looked away from him again, out into the dark night, and sighed. Her emotions fought to take control of her. So, she spoke out to no one in particular, "God, why does life have to be so hard?"
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"Not quite sure about that one myself, Slayer." How many times had he asked himself the same question? As a human he was plagued with feelings of mediocrity or inferiority. Just when he thought his life was improving by becoming a vampire, Angelus knocked him down and reinforced his lack of self worth. Oh he had hid behind a secure facade for over a century, but some things could still destroy that to bring him back to his more poncey days and insecurities. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it, pet?" He needed to break out of this melancholy of past memories and focus on the present or it would swallow him up again.
"Yes, I'm quite sure. Besides, it's not like you care a thing about how I feel." So many burdens from the past and the present crowded her. Where did she fit in? What was her purpose? Every day she tried to act like a normal girl with a normal life, but it wasn't working. Her nights were filled with things that would strike terror in the hearts of most, but they were commonplace to her. What was normal about that?
Spike huffed. 'If the crazy bint only knew.' He shook his head back and forth. 'How could she suspect nothing after I tried to kiss the bloody girl.'
"No one understands what it's like." Buffy's tone carried a bit of annoyance to it. She was getting frustrated with everyone. Her friends had their own little lives now. They weren't there for her. Sure, she had a boyfriend, but she just couldn't talk to Riley about anything. He always turned everything into something about himself.
"What about Captain Cardboard?" Spike asked, unaware of Buffy's thoughts. "I'm sure good ol Whitebread would like to kiss and make it better?" He snarled.
"Yeah, right." Buffy's eyes widened in shock at the irony of Spike's comment coinciding with her thoughts. "He understands me real well. You know in the NOT variety." She emphasized the not with sarcasm.
Spike flinched. Not like he cared if the G.I. Joe stayed or left, but the last he had heard the couple wasn't having any problems. "You two having a fight?" He tried to ask casually, a little inner smile spreading as he waited for the answer.
"No, it's just ..." Buffy's voice trailed off to nothingness. She sighed. Why couldn't she talk to Riley about all of this? Shouldn't her boyfriend care enough to have called her tonight after his patrol? She didn't even know if he was okay. Instead of calling Riley to chew him out, she took out her frustration on the blond vampire that seemed to be trying to help her. "Why am I even talking to you about this?"
Spike threw his hands up in a surrender motion. "Geez, Slayer. Jus' trying to help." He stood up a bit put off with her attitude. "Thought maybe you'd like someone to talk to. Something is obviously wrong, but I've been your whipping boy enough tonight." He growled and moved to walk away from Buffy. He was surprised when he didn't even get a step away before he felt her hand on his arm.
"Wait ... please." Buffy could see the questioning in Spike's glance at her. "Stay?"
Spike couldn't have been more shocked. Was Buffy actually asking him to stay? Did she really mean it? 'This is definitely not like her. I'd always be the last person she'd like near her when she isn't happy. Something is terribly wrong.' He sat back down, resting his hand lightly on her knee. "All right, Slayer. What's buggin' you?"
Buffy wouldn't even look at Spike now as she spoke. "It's my mom." She processed the information her mother told her earlier, again. "She has to stay at the hospital for some testing."
"Oh? She going to be okay?" Now Spike was worried too. He liked Joyce Summers a lot. She was the only one of the whole lot of them, except for the Nibblet, that treated him like a person. He could always count on Joyce as a shoulder to lean on or an ear to bend. She'd listened to him talk about all of his Dru problems, his loneliness, or Scoobie problems many times.
"Of course!" Buffy almost yelled out on instinct and fear. She frowned, "I don't really know. I have no idea what I'm going to do if anything is really wrong." She buried her face in her hands again. "If anything happens to her, I don't know what I'll do."
"She's strong like you and the Little Bit. She'll make it." Spike tried to convey a confidence in his voice that he didn't feel inside. He knew first hand how the health of someone you love was not something you could control or predict.
"You think so?" Buffy looked up at Spike, hopeful. "I can't even bear to think about life without my mom."
Spike patted Buffy's knee. "You'll have enough strength to deal with whatever comes your way, Slayer. Don't doubt yourself." He gazed off into the distance and up towards the stars. "I know how the world can seem to crumble when someone you love is ill. You feel helpless, like your heart will stop beating the very moment that theirs does." Though no one would have thought that Spike could feel much of anything, he'd never forget the memories of his mother's illness and subsequent deaths; both of them.
Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Could Spike have ever felt love so deeply that he knew the pain of loss? Several minutes passed with her simply watching him. What was he thinking about? What had happened to him before, and why should she be caring about it?
Spike shifted in his seat when he realized that Buffy was staring at him. He cleared his throat and tried to change the subject. He'd told her enough about his past already. There was no sense in her finding out truly what a mama's boy he was in his human days. "So, what about Captain Cardboard? Why isn't he here talking to you?"
"I don't know." Buffy's eyes narrowed. He was changing the subject on her, but he sure didn't pick a good one to start talking about instead. "He was supposed to patrol tonight, but I haven't heard a thing from him yet. I know he's back because Willow already called me, and the gang went with him tonight."
"Maybe he just forgot." Spike shrugged. He wished he could snatch the words back as soon as they passed his lips. Telling a girl that her boyfriend forgot about her was not the right way to go to cheer the girl up. 'Idiot,' he called himself.
"Why do you care so much about my love life anyways, Spike?" Buffy spit out the words with venom. "Cause if you are just trying to get me to talk so you can mock me later about it, you can just go away!" She tried to stand up.
"Hey, I'm not gonna mock you later." Spike placed his hand on Buffy's arm. He had to prove to her that he wasn't playing games with her. He teased her in a lighthearted voice, "I would like my nose not broken, thank you very much. Mocking a Slayer wouldn't do well to keep my face unblemished." His gaze turned more serious as it leveled with hers. " 'Sides, who says that I don't care?" He knew that he was probably setting himself up again for hurt by telling a woman that he cared about her, but he needed Buffy to know that she had someone on her side. "I do care about you, Slay ... Buffy."
Buffy stared at Spike completely stunned. What was he getting at? Did all of the Clan of Aurelius take pleasure in the head games with their enemies? "You can't be ser ..."
Spike interrupted Buffy before she could sink the dagger of a forked tongue into his heart. "I am deadly serious. I. Care. About. You." If vampires could blush his face would be heated. Why did he risk her rage and embarrass himself like this. He couldn't believe that he'd actually told her that he cared. True it wasn't a declaration of love, but those few words set him up for a big time smack down if the Slayer didn't want to accept them. His brain never seemed to be able to stop the words of his heart from pouring out of his mouth. It had gotten him into trouble for the last 150 years.
"Oh." Buffy knew that her voice sounded flat, and she should say more, but she just couldn't form the words to say. Her brain was trying to focus on what he'd said to her. Instead of facing the situation she did what she always did, she tried to steer away from what she couldn't handle. "I just feel like I can't talk to Riley." She sighed.
Spike was slightly disappointed that an "oh" was all he got as feedback for saying that he cared about her. He was happy that Buffy wasn't punching him in the face though. Maybe there was hope for him yet. She didn't seem to hate him for saying it.
"I mean I know he wants me to talk to him, but I don't think he really understands what I need. It's weird to realize when I think about it, but he really doesn't know me." Buffy continued on without noticing Spike's reflection on her words. "I don't know how long this can go on between him and I. Someone has to understand me, and my boyfriends haven't exactly been with me in that department in ... well ever."
Spike tilted his head slightly to the side. 'She said boyfriends. I wonder if she means good ol' Peaches never understood her either?' That thought alone made Spike's night. The great poofster was not a person on his favorite's list. "Not tryin' to piss you off, but are you sure you love him? I would think that if he was truly the one you were meant for you'd be able to talk to him about anything." He expected a sharp slap across the face or a punch in the nose for even suggesting what he did. Instead all he got was a very quiet, almost inaudible, "Maybe you're right". Only his vampiric hearing allowed him to hear the words at all.
"You know," Buffy continued, "I just realized something." She rested her hand over Spike's on her arm and lightly squeezed it. "You're not beneath me."
Spike couldn't have wore a more shocked look on his face if a Fyarl demon had appeared in a tutu in front of him singing Grease Lightning. He gulped hard.
"I'm sorry that I said it. You scared ... I shouldn't have struck out at you like that." Buffy knew why she'd said it. She was scared at what the proximity of his body was doing to her. He had looked like he was going to kiss her, and it scared her to realize that she wanted him to at the time. "I didn't really want to hurt you." She leaned a little closer to him.
"S'all right, luv." Spike shook his head in disbelief. This night went from bad to extremely good. He didn't want to say more for the fear that she'd take it back. His eyes traveled from her lips to her eyes and back down. He licked his lips nervously. His brain knew that he should count his lucky stars and not press his luck, but he couldn't help the fact that his body responded to her nearness. He slowly leaned in towards her further.
Spike's lips brushed across Buffy's gently, and then he kissed her. She closed her eyes and instinctively her arms stroked up his arms to wrap around his neck, leaning into the kiss. His tongue darted against his own lips, outlining them and seeking entrance into her mouth. Just as she was about to open her mouth to allow his tongue to dance with hers, a deep but shrill voice inside the house invaded their moment.
"Buffy!?!" There was no mistaking the clomp of Riley's boots in the front entryway as he made his way through the kitchen. "Are you home? Why was the door unlocked?"
"Bloody Hell!" Spike growled low and pulled back from Buffy. 'Of all the bloody time to finally show up!' He sighed dejectedly. "Guess I should go, eh?"
Buffy stared at Spike wide-eyed. She licked her lips slowly not moving further away from him. Her body warred with her mind. She knew that she needed to go to Riley, but she didn't want to leave Spike's side. "Yeah." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. She didn't trust herself to say more.
Spike stood up, picked up his gun, and adjusted it in his arms. He started to walk away but stopped and turned back around to face Buffy. "Be seein' you around, Slayer. You know where I am if you need me." With that he walked away, back to his crypt and back to another lonely night. Harmony was definitely getting kicked out of there tonight. He couldn't stand her air headed prattle and "I told you so's" tonight.
Buffy stayed a few moments longer as she watched Spike disappear through the hedges. She went into the kitchen just as Riley reached the door. She really didn't want to see Riley right now. Irritated at being interrupted and at herself for being mad about the interruption, she pushed Riley out the door fairly quickly without ever mentioning her mother's ailment or upcoming hospital stay.
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Buffy laid in her bed that night and thought about what had happened with Spike. Just where the heck had that kiss come from? She knew that Riley could sense that something was wrong with her during the time they did talk tonight, and she felt bad about it. She hadn't explained anything to him, and there was no way that she could tell him about the kiss. How could she kiss someone that wasn't her boyfriend? She wasn't the kind of person that cheated on the man she loved. What was it that Spike had said earlier about if Riley was the one she was meant to be with that she could talk to him about anything. Was she truly meant to be with Riley?
Buffy traced her lips with her fingertips. That kiss ... it was so soft, and it was nothing that she'd have expected from Spike. He always seemed so rough and tumble about everything. She wouldn't have thought that he was capable of such tenderness. Spike had said that he cared about her. Wow! That was so out of the blue for him. She had no idea that he felt anything for her except disdain. That kiss was definitely not of the disdain nature. It spoke of something tender and deep, almost passionate.
Hadn't they been fighting tooth and nail in the alley just an hour before Spike arrived at her house? Now all of a sudden he cared for her? 'Wait a minute ... he tried to kiss me in the alley. I would swear it.' Her mind was in complete overload. 'So Spike has some sort of feelings for me.' That thought made her body tingle and warm up. Now the big problem though ... Riley. The more she thought about it all, the bigger the headache she got. She finally decided that she'd thought about everything enough for one night. She needed to sleep on it all.
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All night Buffy dreamt about Spike. So many scenarios played through her mind about what could have happened if Riley hadn't interrupted them. She squirmed all over the bed as each played out, but in the middle of it all a nightmare blossomed. Buffy sat upright in bed, panting and crying at her last dream. She had dreamt that Riley got mad when she made her choice to stay with Spike and staked him. For several panicked moments, Buffy thought Spike was gone. As her body shook with the sobs that threatened to begin, she realized it was all just a nightmare. Another thought hit her hard just as the relief of realizing it was just a nightmare did, she cared for Spike too. 'Oh god, what am I going to do now?'
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Not Beneath Me - (2) Sneaking Around
By Tasha (ALL) & MissKitty (1-7)
Chapter Summary: This events of this chapter are mixed in with the episode "Shadow" where Joyce is in the hospital, has her CT Scan and biopsy surgery. What happened to Buffy and Spike the day after the porch scene? Will she turn to Riley for comfort now, or will she continue to seek out Spike.
Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed on the Index page of this story.
'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.
Spike strode confidently back to his crypt. He didn't give a second thought to what Harmony might say about him coming back without killing the Slayer. A smirk of secret delight was edging his lips at the thought that he was the one to help comfort Buffy and not Captain Cardboard. He'd stuck around long enough in the shadows to see how long good ol' Whitebread had been allowed to stay. When Riley exited the house a short while later, a delighted Spike had begun his trek back to the cemetery for a good night's sleep.
Harmony shrieked as the crypt door burst open. "Did you kill her, Blondie Bear?" She asked nervously. He didn't seem pissed off, but sometimes you couldn't tell with Spike. Something was a bit off about how he looked right now.
"I don't want to talk about it, Harm. Now, go away!" Spike snarled. 'Crazy bint. Why don't I just stake her?' He tossed the gun back into the chest he'd retrieved it from earlier.
"Hey, it's not my fault you can't kill her. I told you not to ..." Harmony's voice was cut off in a choke. Never mind that she didn't need to breathe, the tight hand around her throat still hurt.
"I said to shut your bloody mouth, Harm." Spike's eyes narrowed. He shook the air headed Vampiress and threw her out the open door. "Don't come back tonight or you're dust."
Harmony scampered away in fright and disgust. She had smelled the Slayer all over him and that alone made her sick to her undead stomach.
Spike slammed the crypt door shut. He slumped down into the chair in front of the television. He needed to relax if he was going to get any sleep today. After several hours of being bored out of his mind, he was no closer to finding rest. His thoughts ran the gauntlet from one end to another. It bugged him so much not knowing if the next time he saw Buffy would she kiss him or punch him. He was dying to find out if she'd felt anything when they kissed. He knew that he had definitely felt something, and he couldn't have imagined the feeling of her arms around his neck before the kiss ended.
Finally, he fell asleep in his own bed and dreamt of the Slayer well into the day. Amidst the dreams of warmth and comfort, an underlying fear and grief niggled him. He dreamt of his arms around her, holding her close to him as he murmured soothing words to her. Other times he dreamt that he was afraid, lost, and helpless. There was no way for him to decipher what any of the dreams meant, but he knew one thing, he had to find the Slayer as soon as he awoke. He needed her, and she needed him.
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Buffy and Dawn sat in the waiting room of the hospital while Joyce was in the CT scan room. Dawn's nervous chatter and questions were getting on Buffy's last nerve, but one look at Dawn told Buffy that her sister was just scared. Neither of them knew what to do, and Buffy felt helpless just sitting in the empty waiting room. It was still too early in the morning to call any of her friends, and there was no way she was going to leave Dawn here alone. So, Buffy wrapped her arms around her sister and stroked her long brown hair, trying to comfort her little "sister".
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Spike awoke with a start. He kicked off the covers of the bed and tossed on some clothes. Climbing to the main level of the crypt, he growled at the appearance of Harmony in front of the television. "Didn't I tell you not to come back tonight?"
"But it isn't night, Blondie Bear. I had to come back before the sunrise." Harmony looked at Spike fearfully. She hoped that he wasn't mad enough to toss her to the sun.
Spike snarled in disgust. "Fine." He walked past Harmony to turn off the TV. "Just get out of my sight." He waved a hand towards the lower level.
Harmony quickly jumped up from the chair and scooted down the ladder to the lower level. 'I didn't like that stupid chair anyways. I wanted to sleep in the bed.' She thought to herself, mentally sticking her tongue out at Spike.
Spike paced back and forth for a little bit, feeling like a caged bird. This was one reason that he hated the daytime. 'Bloody sun always getting in the way of my fun.' He sighed, grabbed a blanket and ran out into the light. He knew just where to catch the best sewer tunnel to get to Buffy's house. It was a partially cloudy day right now anyways. He wanted to see how she and the Nibblet were doing. He hoped to hear news about Joyce.
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Riley trudged up the front porch steps to the Summer's home. He frowned when he noticed the front door a tad bit ajar. 'Why do they keep leaving this door unlocked?' He almost tripped over a dingy green blanket when he opened the door and moved towards the inner flight of stairs. It looked familiar to him, but he couldn't place it exactly.
Spike hadn't found Buffy home when he'd gotten there, but something inside of him needed the assurance of her nearness. So, he had headed upstairs instead to Buffy's bedroom. He stood in front of her dresser with a light pink sweater in his hands. Closing his eyes he inhaled the scent that was all Buffy: Slayer blood, salty sweat, vanilla, and a sweet musk that always told him she was near. So lost in the memories of her, he missed the presence of Riley as he snuck up on the vampire.
"What are you doing in here?" What was Spike doing in Buffy's bedroom? This day was just getting more and more bizarre.
Spike snapped around to face Riley. He quickly hid Buffy's sweater behind his back. 'Stupid, git, letting someone like that sneak up on you.' He practically bounced from one foot to another in nervousness. "What? Me? I was, um, uh ... what are you doing here?"
Riley shook his head back and forth and walked further into the room. "Looking for the girl who's going to rip your arms off for being in her bedroom." He rolled his eyes. 'What an idiot.'
"Oh, yeah?" Spike stood firm, face to face with Riley, even when Riley stood only inches from him. "Well, me too." He cocked his head to the side, his sardonic smirk in place as if it was nothing out of the ordinary for him to be in Buffy's bedroom.
Riley tried to stare Spike down. He moved to look behind Spike to see what he was hiding, but he couldn't get the right angle. Instead he remembered the bit of pink that he'd seen flash by as Spike faced him. "Were you ... were you just smelling her sweater?" His face contorted into a look of disgust.
"What? No?" Spike scoffed after he dodged Riley's attempts to see what he had in his hands. He smirked then rolled his eyes when Riley put his hands on his hips and didn't budge or seem to believe him. "Well, yeah, all right I did. It's a predator thing, nothing wrong with it. Know your enemies scent. Whet your appetite for the hunt and all that." He brought the sweater up to his face. "You know? Mmmmm." He inhaled deeply. "Ahh, that's the stuff, Slayer musk. It's bitter and aggravating." He growled. 'Am I a ponce or what. He'll never believe it.'
Riley grabbed Spike by his jacket, tore the sweater from his hands and tossed it onto the bed. "Out." There was no way that he was letting Spike stay in Buffy's bedroom, whether Buffy was in it or not. He dragged Spike out of the room, but not before Spike hijacked a pair of panties from Buffy's top drawer.
"Hey, watch it! Easy!" The two practically tumbled down the stairs towards the front door. "You're bruising the leather." Riley practically threw Spike at the closed front door. "Look, I know for a bleeding fact that the Slayer wouldn't mind me being here."
"Right. What's a little sweater-sniffing between sworn enemies?" Riley spat out in disbelief and anger.
"Your girl in the habit of buying her enemies drinks?" Spike was really starting to get pissed. He had no love for Riley or any of the commando's, former or not. It grated him even further that Buffy was spending time with Captain Cardboard as her boyfriend too. " 'Cause she spent the better part of last night with me, doing just that." His cockiness was getting the better part of his good sense with the look he gave Riley.
"Right." Riley almost chuckled at the supposed idiocy of that statement, especially coming from Spike. " 'Cause you guys are such tight pals?"
Spike was tired of being the butt of Riley's jokes. It was time to put the boy in his place. "Yeah."
Riley put his hands on his hips. 'Why does Buffy let this idiot stay around anyways.' He couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. There was no way that Buffy would sit down with Spike over drinks. "That's good. Tell me another."
"Okay. How about this one?" Riley was definitely getting on Spike's last nerve. He had to think only a moment before finding another tidbit to drive the nail into Riley's coffin further. "Twice in recent memory she's had the lover Wiccas doing a de-invite on the house, keep out specific vamps. Ever ask yourself why she's never taken my name off the guest list?" He leaned in closer to Riley to emphasize the point.
"Because you're harmless." Riley scoffed, but a moment of stuttered paused ruined the effect of his confidence.
"Oh. Yeah. Right." Spike almost laughed at Riley's naivete. "Takes one to know, I suppose." He kicked back to rest his weight on his left leg, all swagger and attitude. "Least I still got the attitude. What do you have? A piercing glance?"
Riley was getting pissed. What right did anyone have to say that to him, let alone to hear it coming from nothing but a worthless vamp.
Spike watched Riley's jaw clench tighter, and he knew he was finally getting to the corn fed Iowa boy. "Face it, Whitebread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, and occasionally bumpy in the forehead region." He wiggled his fingers near his brow. "Not that she doesn't like you," he pointed to Riley with a sardonic grin on his face, "But sorry, Charlie you're just not dark enough."
Riley had enough of this bull crap. Spike had more than peeved him off, and it was time to pay the piper. He grabbed Spike by the lapels of his duster, opened the door and forced a "Hey" yelling vampire out into the sunlight on the porch. "This dark enough for you?"
"Bloody pull me back in, you sod." Spike screamed. No matter his confidence he knew the sun would toast him pretty quickly. "I'm starting to sizzle." Even with only a few moments in the sun the smoke started to waif up from Spike's skin.
"You don't know anything about Buffy. You never did. I'm the one that knows what she needs."
'Oh that's it. No holds barred now!' Spike snarled at Riley. If he was going to toast, his last digs would be into this fool's pride and heart. "Oh yeah? That's why you're with her at the hospital right now giving her what she needs."
Riley pulled Spike back into the house. "What are you talking about?"
"Don't you know? Didn't she tell you?" Spike almost laughed. Buffy hadn't told Riley about her mom last night. She'd only told him? That made him feel good. Not about Joyce being sick of course, but the fact that Buffy hadn't told Riley made up for the little sizzle.
"You tell me."
"Her Mum's sickly." Spike couldn't keep the concern out of his eyes and face at the thought of Joyce being in the hospital. "Buffy took her to the hospital for a bit of prod and probe. Bite size one went too."
Riley's gaze left Spike's face. 'How could she not have told me? She had to have known last night.'
"You know, it's funny her not telling you about that." Spike had to hammer that nail in a little more. "I've known since last night."
Riley's temper got the better of him. In an instant he manhandled Spike and threw him completely out the door. Amidst the cries of Spike calling for the blanket, he kicked it out onto the porch and slammed the front door. He had to get to the bottom of this. He had to head to the hospital ASAP.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy walked towards the examination room. She stopped several times not quite being able to make her feet cover the last bit of distance to reach the room. Just as she felt she had enough courage to go in a hand on her shoulder stopped her from moving. She turned around. "Riley?"
"I heard." Riley looked at Buffy lovingly. The vampire had to be wrong. He swore that he saw something behind Buffy's eyes that told him his presence mattered to her. "I thought you might want some company."
"I do. I do." Buffy hugged Riley, a brief moment of disappointment flashed in her eyes when she realized that it wasn't Spike holding her. She berated herself for those thoughts. When she pulled back again to look at Riley, she tried to keep a happy face on for him. "I was just about to go in and get the results from the CT scan. Would you go sit with Dawn?"
"Sure, whatever you need me to do." Riley's arms dropped back to his side when Buffy stepped out of them. Why didn't she want him in there with her? He wanted to support her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
'A shadow? What hell is a shadow?' Buffy thought to herself as she sat once again in the waiting room of the hospital. She was really beginning to hate Sunnydale General. This place brought her nothing but bad memories.
Riley draped his brown leather half-coat over Dawn's sleeping body. The poor girl was worn out already. He moved back over to sit next to Buffy on a double length bench chair.
Buffy turned her lost gaze from the cracks in the walls into a reflective one towards Riley. They hadn't said a word to each other since she'd left the examination room, except for a brief explanation from Buffy about her mother's condition that was more for Dawn's benefit than Riley's.
Riley coaxed Buffy to lay her head on his shoulder. Draping his arm over the back of the bench chair, he pulled Buffy in closer to him. He stroked her hair as soothingly as possible, hoping that it would help her to drift off for a few moments. 'Why won't she talk to me?' He wondered once Buffy's eyes closed. 'She just sat there staring into nothing, as if I wasn't even here.'
The operating doctor walked down the hallway to the waiting room. Riley recognized him from an earlier conversation about pre-op. He gently shook Buffy, trying to wake her.
Buffy was pulled from her dreams abruptly. She hadn't slept well the night before, and her body was beginning to shut down even without her wanting it to. She sat upright quickly still partially stuck in the dream. "No. Wait. Spike!" She called out before she realized that she wasn't with Spike, and she was sitting in the hospital waiting room. She quickly noticed the doctor though and met him near the wall before he could reach the waiting room.
If Buffy had seen Riley's face she would have noticed the hurt and confused look on his it. 'What the hell was that all about?' He questioned inwardly. 'When did she start calling out to Spike in her dreams?' He couldn't pinpoint what disturbed him more: the fact that Buffy was dreaming about Spike or the fact that she was calling out for her supposed enemy like she needed him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
'This isn't real. It can't be happening.' Buffy tried to reassure herself. The doctor just droned on and on about the technical terms and placement of things in her mother's brain. What did she care about that? What did it matter? All she knew was that her mother had a tumor in her brain. Her own brain wanted to shut down. It couldn't comprehend all of the information that it was being given.
'Why won't he shut up?' The doctor moved them to sit down in a couple nearby chairs. "What can I do?" She meekly asked.
"We need you to answer a few questions for us." The doctor went through his checklist of does she and has she's. Buffy didn't know the answers to hardly any of them. Her mom always took care of the medical insurance and other issues. With each question, Buffy only became more confused and when she could handle no more she jumped up and ran to the bathroom.
Ben, a nearby intern, stepped up to the doctor and informed him that someone needed him in ICU. Ben knew that no one had called specifically for the doctor, but he could see that the young lady needed a break from the man. 'At least when she gets back here, she won't be bombarded again immediately.' He thought to himself and headed out the door, as it was the end of his shift.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You are such an idiot, Spike." Spike paced his crypt back and forth. Harmony was still asleep downstairs. So there was no way he was going to try and get any more sleep, not like he could anyways. 'You probably sent him straight into Buffy's arms. Where you can't be right now.' His inner William chided his more aggressive Spike side for his temper. 'You just had to get snippy with the man, didn't you.'
"Do shut up you Nancy Boy. Like you could have done much better." Spike rolled his eyes at himself. He knew that he shouldn't have taunted Riley so much, but it was just too much fun to see the look of pain on his face. He figured that Riley headed straight to the hospital after he kicked Spike out Buffy's house. Now he'd have to wait until he could run into her somehow. He tightened his hand into fists. "She doesn't belong with him. She belongs with me."
'Perhaps you will listen to me more next time then." Spike's traces of humanity warred with the demon. 'I know you care about her too. So, don't mess it up for both of us.' Spike could practically feel his inner William remove his glasses to clean them. 'Now, if you're done growling, here is what we need to do.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Not Beneath Me - (3) Tumors, Snakes & Dates ... Oh My!
Chapter Summary: Spike has put enough doubt in Riley's mind already. Where will that lead? Spike seeks out Buffy to comfort her, and we continue through the end of the events in "Shadow". (Don't worry; Riley is well on his way out the door. I'm just trying to keep things canon for as long as needed.)
WARNING: This chapter contains bloodplay; in this case it is a vampire biting a human for pain and/or pleasure. It is not overly graphic, but if that scares you, don't read please. It is from an actual scene in the episode "Shadow" on Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.
Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed on the Index page of this story.
'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.
A lot of things had happened in the last few hours. Buffy had returned from the bathroom to find the doctor was thankfully gone. Checking in with Riley, she found out that her mother was going to be out for at least 6-7 more hours. Brain surgery, even only biopsies, took a longer time to come back into consciousness. There was no way that she could just sit in the waiting room for another 7 hours. She left Dawn in Riley's care to get her to school for at least part of the day while she headed to the Magic Box.
As if things couldn't be worse, they were. After a lecture from Giles and Tara about how doing a magical healing spell for her mother wouldn't be a good idea, she found out that Giles had sold two things to the crazy "demon" lady that kicked Buffy's butt the other day. Willow went on and on about some transmogrification spell, but Buffy couldn't sit still any longer. She had to do something about it. She had to stop Glory.
Buffy tried to stop Glory, whom they only knew as a demon at the time, at the Sunnydale Zoo. After checking out a couple other places, she figured that was the best place to find a lot of reptiles that Glory could use to raise into the tool she needed. Buffy only had the upper hand in the fight for a minute or two before Glory again wiped the floor with her. She watched in horror as a cobra burst from an urn to a dizzying height at Glory's beck and call. Buffy ran away while Glory was distracted. She had to recuperate, ASAP.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Riley showed up at the Magic Box after spending some time with Dawn. He'd dropped her off at school to pick up her homework. She had strict orders to come to the Magic Box from there. He was furious to find out that Buffy wasn't at the shop but instead off searching for the "demon" on her own.
Xander tried to stop Riley before he barged off. "Buffy needs something she can fight; something she can solve." He looked back to the other's at the table before he turned back to face Riley. They stood near the door out of the shop. "I don't know what kind of action you're looking for. Do you?" His eyes narrowed to watch Riley more closely for a few moments.
Riley was in complete shock. What was Xander trying to insinuate? Xander broke the moment of silence, "Hey, I'm not trying to get ..."
"It's cool." Riley shifted big time from one foot to another. He knew that he was pushing things. He was just worried about where he stood with Buffy. Every minute they spent apart just solidified his worries more.
"You okay?" Xander asked, now concerned.
"Just a little crazed."
"I hear ya." Xander had known Joyce Summers since Buffy moved to Sunnydale. She had always been right there to welcome all of them into her home, especially once she found out the truth of Buffy's calling. The summer that Buffy had headed to LA after sending Angel to Hell, Mrs. Summers had even patrolled with them.
Riley moved to the door. "If she needs me ..." He let the statement hang in the air as he left the shop for somewhere to think.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy headed back to the hospital to check on her mother. She called Giles on a pay phone to tell him about the snake on the loose as she nursed her wounds. This day was just getting worse and worse. She wished it would just end. Before hanging up she asked Giles not to tell Dawn about her mother yet. She wanted to be there when Dawn found out. It was going to be even harder on the young girl.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike watched Buffy walk away from the phone. He'd been sitting in his crypt when the unmistakable urge to find the Slayer hit him upside the face. It was almost as if he could feel physical pain from her. Seeing her now, he realized that she'd been in a fight. 'Damn it. I should have been there.' He condemned himself for Buffy being hurt. 'Sure genius. You should have been there to go all poof and into dust in the sunlight. Sometimes I wonder if you even use your brain for thinking.' He argued with himself, within.
Buffy inquired about her mother's status. She found out that Joyce was just waking up, and they were moving her to an actual room for now. They directed Buffy to a different area to sit in until Joyce was ready. So lost in her thoughts, Buffy didn't realize when a platinum blond vampire sat down in the seat next to her.
"You okay, Slayer? Looks like you got into a fight with a nasty." Spike looked around to be sure that none of the Scoobies were anywhere around before he placed his hand on Buffy's arm.
"Spike?!?" Buffy turned to Spike. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly without a second thought. She was vulnerable right now, and somehow it just felt right to let him hold her.
Spike's eyes almost bugged out from the strength and surprise of the hug. He curled his arms around Buffy and returned the hug with equal comfort and strength. "There, there, pet." He stroked one hand down the back of her head to her shoulders. "Let it out. I'm here."
Buffy let the tears start to fall. She hadn't felt that she could let go earlier when Riley was there. Being in Spike's arms she felt secure enough to just it loose. Everything was so overwhelming. Her life hadn't been simple in years, but now life was even more complicated. No matter that the body that she clung to was cold, she felt a warmth of comfort surround and envelope her. She felt safe, home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Riley sat at a local demon/human bar near downtown Sunnydale. He'd frequented this place enough times, but that was always in search of some HST that he needed to take out. It was odd to just sit and have a drink.
A tall dark haired woman sat down next to Riley. She eyed him with interest, and he couldn't help but to notice her beauty. There was something else about her though. Something told him that this woman wasn't human. He looked briefly down at a cuff he wore just above his watch. He casually moved his arm to her side of the bar and gazed at the temperature listed. 'Hmmm, vampire. I should have known.' He gulped down the last of his shot of alcohol. 'Not dark enough, eh? I wonder just what Buffy sees in these vamps. What makes it so hard to resist being with them?' He determined that it was about time he found out.
After a bit of small talk the brunette led the Vampiress out into the alley. He propositioned her with a deal to have her bite him for a bit of cash. He'd heard about vampires that were willing to do that. He just hoped that she'd agree to it.
It didn't take long for the look of pleasure to cross the Vampiress' face. She kissed and nibbled on Riley's neck with her human teeth. She pulled back to gaze at Riley in her demon face before she buried her face back into his neck and bit down with her fangs.
Riley's face first contorted in pain and a bit of rage. 'This hurts.' Those thoughts quickly gave way to others as he felt his body tingle and arousal swept through him. With each small pull of his blood into her mouth, he felt himself get harder and harder. 'Is this what Buffy felt when Angel bit her?' He briefly closed his eyes when his heart fluttered a bit. 'No wonder she wants it.' He thought to himself, pulled his hand back from the Vampiress' arm and pushed it forward straight into her heart. The look of surprise on the Vampiress' face was mirrored with a steely coldness in Riley's eyes when the demon disappeared in a cloud of dust to reveal the stake in Riley's hand.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy sat on the left side of her mother's bed when the doctor's informed Joyce of the biopsy results. Spike stood behind Buffy, his hand rested on her shoulder. He had been surprised when Joyce even let him in the room. He knew that she liked him more than Angel. They'd even spent many days sharing stories and conversation over a "cuppa", but she didn't even seem to question his presence here with her daughter.
Buffy hugged her mother tightly. She felt comforted in Spike's presence. She felt him standing so firm behind her, a rock of strength that she needed to draw from right now. She couldn't explain why, but she needed him. She'd felt smothered when Riley was with her earlier. Spike offered support without burying her in him. It was as if he seemed to know just what she needed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike and Buffy walked to the Magic Box. Joyce, after getting over the shock herself, wanted to talk to Dawn about everything. There was no way that Spike was going to leave Buffy to walk the streets alone. He wasn't afraid that she couldn't handle herself under normal conditions, but he knew she was distracted tonight. He wasn't going to abandon her so that some beastie could have its one good day. He waited outside the shop for Buffy and the Nibblet.
Spike lit up a cigarette while he waited. He'd only gotten two puffs out when a huge snake brushed past him and slammed through the shop's front window. "Buffy!" He yelled and tried to grab the tail but missed. The sound of Dawn's scream chilled him to the bone.
Buffy jumped up, pushed the case off herself, and turned to Giles. "It knows!" She rushed back for the door. Up ahead she saw that Spike was already chasing the creature. She took off after it too.
The snake twisted and turned it's way through Sunnydale's streets. Spike dove for it's tail, getting thwapped about as it bounced him down the street. Giles' car ran right in front of the cobra, slowing it down for just enough time that Buffy caught up with it.
Between Buffy and Spike they choked, punched, and kicked the cobra vessel of Glory's. Spike used the long tail to wrap it around the snake's neck and knot it. Buffy and Spike both pulled on the end of it to increase the pressure. For good measure, Buffy punched the snake's face repeatedly until it was evident that it was more than dead.
Spike had to pull her away from the battered carcass before she completely obliterated it. He had a feeling that the watcher would want to check this one out. He wrapped his arms tightly around Buffy, rocking her back and forth. He whispered soothing words into her ear, trying to calm her.
Giles stood off to the side slack jawed and amazed. This was not something he expected to see in his lifetime. What was Spike doing here anyway, holding Buffy no less? Angel had been one thing, but this was Spike. This was not the normal occurrence for any vampire to do, chipped or not. This scene bore further investigation. Right now they had more pressing matters though: Joyce, Dawn and this snake.
Buffy and Spike hauled as much of the carcass as they could into the back of Giles' car. Giles drove back towards the Magic Box while they walked.
Spike kept his arm around Buffy's shoulders for now. "I think your Watcher just about had a heart attack, pet."
Buffy looked up at him confused before she noticed his arm still around her. "Oh, yeah." She half chuckled. "I'm sure he'll ask me some questions about that one." She didn't even want to think about all of the questions Giles was going to ask her about Spike. She wasn't sure of the answers herself. How could she answer Giles?
Spike had expected Buffy to pull away or vehemently deny that anything happened. He was pleasantly shocked to find her acceptance of his nearness. "I seem to be asking you this a lot lately, but are you okay?" He tucked his hand under her chin so that she was looking directly into his eyes.
Buffy laughed. "That seems to be the question of the day, doesn't it?" She half smiled. "My life just keeps getting more and more complicated."
Spike had no idea how to respond to that. What he really wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms and hold her all night. He wanted her to stop hurting because whenever he saw her like that, it hurt him more than he'd care to admit. Instead he asked her, "What are you planning to do tonight aside from kicking snake butt and taking Dawn to see your Mum?"
"Well, I was gonna go back out and kick some demon ass, blow off some steam once we told Dawn the news, and then go home. Why?" Buffy tilted her head to gaze at Spike.
Spike turned to Buffy and dropped his arm. They were in front of the Magic Box now. He could hear a flurry of activity going on inside. "You have dinner yet?"
Buffy shook her head no. Dinner hadn't even been a thought on her mind earlier.
"I know you have a boyfriend and all, and I'm not askin' you on a date or anythin', but do you want to go to dinner somewhere after you take the Nibblet to see your Mum?"
Buffy thought about it. She knew that Dawn was going to want some time alone with her Mom. She also knew that her Mom was going to need a lot of rest tonight. She had a feeling that the doctor's weren't going to let them stay very long.
Spike buried his hands in his duster pockets. He shifted from one foot to another nervously. 'At least she hasn't smacked me yet. You had better be right about this you poofter.' He snarled inwardly at the poet.
With everything that had happened tonight, she really did need someone to talk to it all about. Giles was the only one that knew about Dawn's key status. She needed someone less fatherly to talk to about it. Spike cared for Dawn. She knew that he did. Perhaps it would be safe to tell him about her. Spike could help her protect Dawn. Besides, free food was always a good idea. "All right, but it's not a date."
Spike beamed. "Sure. Right, luv. Not a date." He knew he was being selfish for wanting it to be a date, but he had to give her time. He was happy that she'd even agreed to go out with him anywhere. 'Just go at her pace, little demon. Don't push her too fast.' William knew that Spike was not known for his patience in anything. It had gotten them in a lot of trouble over the years.
"I'll have Xander drive Dawn and I to the hospital." Buffy looked through the broken window into the shop. "He and Willow have been wanting to see Mom too. I'm sure that one of them will be able to take Dawn home when they're all done."
Spike nodded. "Okay." He handed Buffy a piece of paper with a number on it. "Call that number when you're ready for me to pick you up at the hospital." He leaned back and around Buffy to see into the shop. "I don't think the Scoobies would be too happy with my being around." He sucked his cheeks back in before locking gazes with Buffy. "That number is my cell phone."
"Thank you, Spike." Buffy folded the piece of paper and slipped it into her pocket.
"No rush or anything. Your Mum needs you and the Bit." Spike smiled warmly. 'Cor, what this woman does to me.' He felt all tingly inside.
"I'll call you." Buffy stepped away from the door, taking Spike with her. She leaned up, drew his head down closer to hers, and placed a soft kiss to his cheek. "See you later, Spike." With that she broke away from him and headed into the Magic Shop.
'Yes!' Spike inwardly exclaimed. 'Maybe you're not so dumb after all, William.' He smirked. He had to go get his Desoto now. He headed off into the night, cigarette in hand. If someone didn't know him better they'd think he actually had a little bounce in his step. 'I have a date with the lady with the bright golden hair.' He hummed softly to himself, black leather duster flapping with each step, disappearing into the shadows of the dark night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Not Beneath Me - (4) Comfort & Caring
Chapter Summary: After a long day Spike asked Buffy out to dinner. He didn't want to have to leave her side yet. Buffy has something that she needs to tell Spike. Maybe she can make sense of a few things along the way too.
Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed on the Index page of this story.
'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.
As the striking blonde couple walked into the Sunnydale IHOP, Buffy admitted to herself that she was already feeling more relaxed than she had been all day. Xander and Willow took Dawn home before Spike even arrived at the hospital. Consequently, he was able to slip back upstairs to Joyce's room to say good night. Buffy had shared in the tender moment when they both gave Joyce a hug and left with wishes of sweet dreams from their lips.
'Why is Mom so comfortable around Spike?' Buffy thought about the car ride to the restaurant. They had argued playfully about the best group to listen to. While Spike sided with the Sex Pistols and the Ramones, Buffy preferred a little Cranberries or U2. When Spike pulled out a Cher single of "I Believe" Buffy screamed. "No, anything but that." She shivered at the thought of her first evil roommate at college. "If I NEVER hear that song again it would be too soon."
"Just teasin' ya luv. I heard about your bloody awful roommate." Spike laughed. He enjoyed taunting her this way. It was all fun and games, and it felt better than when he was trying to hurt her as much as she'd hurt him.
Now sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant, Buffy gazed across at her companion. 'Did Mom see something before that I just didn't want to see in Spike?' She rested her chin in her hands, watching him. He had an easy manner about him while he flirted with the waitress, but strangely Buffy couldn't feel a bit of jealousy. As soon as Spike turned to look at her, she felt a tingling down to her toes that told her that she was the one that mattered to him.
'What is going on in that pretty little head of hers?' Spike wondered. He placed his order for a large orange juice. When Buffy didn't answer the waitress he waved his hand in front of Buffy's face. "Luv? What do you want to drink?"
Buffy snapped out of her almost trance like state. "Oh, sorry." She blushed. "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The waitress left two menus with the couple. She turned to walk back to the counter, but she couldn't keep the exaggerated swivel from her hips. 'Damn, but that girl is lucky. He's a hottie.'
Buffy picked up her menu. She was startled when Spike also reached for one. She gave him a weird look, like he was crazy or something,
"What?" Spike asked. He cocked a scarred brow in curiosity.
"Are you actually going to eat something? 'Cause I don't really think they sell blood here." Buffy leaned over the table to whisper her question to him. She didn't want anyone to overhear their conversation.
"Course I'm going to eat something." Spike huffed. "I like human food too. Jus' cos' Peaches only drinks blood doesn't mean I do too." He rolled his eyes. Didn't this girl's watcher teach her anything, or was the Council that bloody stupid. "We aren't all like him you know."
"Okay, whatever." Buffy really didn't want to get into an argument about Angel right now. In fact, she didn't even want to think about Angel right now. She wanted to focus on the vampire in front of her. "I don't really have any money with me, Spike. So, how are we going to pay for this? I'm so not up to doing a dine-n-dash tonight."
Spike laughed. "Anybody ever tell you that you worry way too much?" He noted the serious look that still crossed her face. "I invited you out to dinner. I bloody well wouldn't have expected you to pay for it." He was starting to get a little mad on the inside. 'What kind of man does she think we are? Preposterous.' His inner William cried out. 'One never invites a lady to dinner with the intent of her to pay for the outing.' On the rare occasion, like this one, his inner demon couldn't agree more. 'I take care of my woman, always!'
Buffy watched Spike's face contort a few different ways as if he was in an argument within himself. She could see the fire behind his eyes. "I probably don't even want to ask where you got the money from, do I?" She needed to derail his internal struggle. He only appeared to get madder with each passing moment.
"I won it in a poker game. Fair an' square." At Buffy's raised eyebrow he added, "Well sorta fair and square, but I can guarantee I wasn't the only demon cheatin'!" At this Buffy laughed. He loved hearing her laugh because it meant she was happy. Buffy didn't seem to get enough happy in her life.
"I wasn't trying to say that you wouldn't take care of me. I just know that you aren't usually all money having." Buffy caressed her hand over the top of Spike's on the table. "Usually you are working for us to pick up cash. I knew we hadn't paid you lately."
"There is a lot about me that you don't know, Buffy." Spike started to relax. There were many things the Scoobies didn't know about him. He wasn't about to share his actual non-poor status with them. If they knew what would be the fun in antagonizing them for money. He lowered his gaze to their joined hands. "It is up to you if you want to find out what all of me is like."
Heat crept up into Buffy's cheeks at Spike's words. What was worse: that he thought she would like to get to find out "all" of him or that the thought of it made her tingle from head to toe. She pulled her hand back from Spike's in a rush.
Spike's eyes widened when he realized where Buffy's thoughts were going. He could smell her arousal, and it made his manhood twitch and harden in his already tight jeans. "I meant all there is to know about me, not ... you know."
"Right." Buffy stuttered. "Right, I knew that. Of course." She was saved from further embarrassment with the arrival of the waitress to take their order.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After dinner arrived things had been quiet between the Vampire and Vampire Slayer. Both ate in a bit of reflective silence. They'd each snatch looks up at the other one when they thought the other one wasn't looking. Slowly the restaurant started to empty. Buffy was glad because she needed to tell Spike about Dawn. The less people around the better. When they seemed to be the only ones there, aside from those working, she laid her empty plate to the side. "Spike, I wanted to come here for a couple reasons. I wanted to relax, but I also needed to talk to you."
Spike gulped at the serious tone in Buffy's voice. 'Here it comes. She's going to tell you to get lost, mate.' He wiped his mouth, moved his plate to the side, and set the no longer needed napkin on top of the plate. "Talk about what, pet?"
'He almost looks nervous.' Buffy pondered that thought a few moments before speaking again. "There is something about Dawn that only Giles and I know. I haven't told anyone else because I was afraid that the more people who know, the harder it will be to keep it a secret." She reached across the table for his hand. "I want to tell you now though. I trust you."
Spike was shocked. She trusted him? You might as well have hit him over the head with a hammer, he would have had the same shell-shocked look on his face. "I'd never betray you, Buffy."
"I know. Sounds strange, but somehow I just know you wouldn't now." Buffy smiled warmly. "I know who the key is that the demon lady is looking for."
"Who? Don't you mean what?" Spike tilted his head to the side, confused.
"No, I mean who." Buffy inhaled deeply. 'This is hard. How do I tell someone that the person they believe has been around for years is just a bunch of fabricated memories?' She knew that this was going to be hard for Spike because of how much he seemed to care for her sister. "Dawn isn't really my sister. Some crazy monks created her from my essence."
"Come off it, Slayer. You're kidding right?" Spike scoffed in disbelief. He knew the Nibblet and Buffy got into quite a few scrapes, but that was just what siblings did. She couldn't be trying to disown her own flesh and blood.
"I'm serious, Spike." Buffy breathed in and out several times deeply. "The memories we have of her growing up were placed there by some over zealous Monks. She doesn't even know that she was formerly just a ball of energy that Glory can use as a key to something."
Spike blinked several times. This had to be impossible. How could someone put memories into another person's head? He remembered so much about the Nibblet. He felt so much for the Nibblet too. That couldn't be fake, could it? "I don't believe it. That's ridiculous." He jumped up, threw enough bills on the table to cover the meal and the tip, and he headed outside. He had to think about this.
"Spike!" Buffy yelled. She scampered to follow him as quickly as she could. She had expected many different reactions, but she wasn't prepared for this one. Spike seemed furious and hurt.
Spike turned around quickly when Buffy caught up to him. "What, Slayer? You expect me to believe that Dawn isn't flesh and blood? I can hear her heartbeat, smell the blood that flows through her veins, and feel her body heat when she's near."
"That's not what I said, Spike." Buffy sighed exasperated. "She is human now, but she also contains all the elements of an energy that acts as some kind of key." She placed her hands on each of Spike's forearms. "Don't you think I know how crazy it sounds? I know it's true though."
Spike shook his head back and forth. Buffy interrupted him before he spoke. "That snake tonight that we killed?"
"Yeah."
"It was trying to locate the key for Glory." Buffy frowned. She absentmindedly rolled her shoulders that were still sore from her earlier beating. "It went straight to Dawn. Remember her screaming? It was there for the key ... to find out where it was."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"It makes perfect sense when you are willing to admit to the facts of things." Buffy was exasperated. If Spike was this hard to convince, how was she going to convince the rest of the Scoobies or her mother. "I found out from one of the monks that I tried to save from Glory. They made her from a part of me so that I would feel compelled to protect her with my life."
Spike slumped against the side of the Desoto. "Wow." He sighed, reached into his duster, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. "Definitely time for a fag." He inhaled a couple mouthfuls contemplating all that Buffy had told him. "So she's real, but she's also not really just human?"
"That's about it. I have to protect her from Glory." Buffy leaned against the car next to Spike. "God only knows what Glory wants to "open" with my sister, and yes she still feels like my sister. I won't treat her any different either. I still love her, as annoying as she is."
"She's say the same about you, pet. The annoying part that is." Spike chuckled. He took a few more hits of the cigarette. "You know I'm going to try to protect her, don't you?"
Buffy turned to face him and nodded slowly. "Yes, I was hoping that you would."
"Bleeding Summer's women." Spike tossed the cigarette butt to the ground and ground his boot heel into it to put it out. "You lot are going to be the death of me yet." He half chuckled. He slid off the car and opened the door for Buffy to get in.
Buffy rested her hand on his on the doorframe before she sat down. "Thank you, Spike."
"Anything for you, Buffy." Spike's cold body warmed on the inside a moment at saying that to her. "You are going to have to tell her, you know?"
"Yeah, I know." Buffy sighed. "I just don't know how."
Spike closed Buffy's door. He sauntered to his side of the car, opened the door and slid in. "We'll figure it out." He turned his key in the ignition. "It wouldn't do for her to find out from someone else or some other way."
Buffy nodded and stared out the window.
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The pair rode home in silence. Neither even turned the radio on. They were both so lost in their own thoughts that they didn't realize how close they were to Revello Drive until Spike pulled up in front of the house.
"Spike, I know that we've had a lot to take in today already, but I've been thinking all day about what you said to me last night."
Spike hoped that she was thinking about it in a good way. He was getting tired of pretending that they hadn't kissed last night or held each other today. He so wanted to hold her again. "Yes? What about it?"
"I uh ... I think I ..." Buffy broke off her stutter with a mumble instead.
"What was that, luv?" Spike asked. Even with his vampiric hearing the words had been too garbled for him to pick up clearly. He turned off the engine.
Buffy turned to look at Spike. "I think ... Well, I think that I care about you too." She said a bit louder this time. She cleared her throat. "I don't know what happened, or why I feel like this, but ..." She looked up into Spike's eyes. "If you were just messing with me last night, then please tell me know because I don't want to be made a fool of again." She lowered her gaze.
Spike grabbed both of Buffy's hands quickly with his. "Buffy, I wasn't messing with you." He paused to take in an unnecessary breath. He lifted her chin with the tips of two of his fingers to look at him. "I would never be that cruel. Do you really care about me?"
"Goodness, I don't totally know." Buffy sighed. "I think I do. I'm so confused because I thought we hated each other." She shook her head back and forth in confusion. "Then you kissed me and the way it felt ... I haven't felt like that in a very long time." She gulped. "Then I had this dream, well a few dreams, but we aren't discussing all of them now. In the one dream you got staked, and when I woke up I felt scared that you might be gone."
A few dreams? Interesting. Spike definitely wanted to hear about those, but he was learning that timing was everything with Buffy. So, he didn't push. "Pet, last night ... What exactly did you feel?"
The tension of the moment finally hit her. She was having a discussion about her feelings of caring about someone who was not her boyfriend with someone who was not her boyfriend. "Oh my gosh! I can't do this right now!" She started to panic and tried to pull away from him.
Spike felt like a knife had been stabbed straight through to his heart. 'Patience, Spike. She has a lot going on right now.' He growled low in his throat. He pulled Buffy closer to him whispering soothing words in her ear. "It's okay, pet. Shhhh, there's no rush."
Buffy started to calm down, rocking in Spike's arms. After several minutes of silence, save for Spike's purr-like words, she was ready to face him again. "Thank you for dinner. I think that taking a break helped." She told him.
"No problem, luv." Spike smiled down at the petite woman in his arms. He drank in her scent and memorized the warmth of her against his body.
"It wasn't a date though." Buffy whispered more to convince herself than him. It didn't work though. She knew something had changed between them last night, and something changed even more between them tonight.
"Right, not a ..." Spike was cut off because at that moment their lips met, and all he could think about was her soft lips on his. He wrapped his arms even tighter around Buffy's waist as she put her arms around his neck. They each held the other as close as possible.
When Buffy felt Spike's tongue on her lips she parted them, and his tongue slipped into her mouth. She knew that she should break away from Spike, but her body called to his. She felt so right in his arms no matter how wrong someone else might think this was. After a while she knew that she had to leave soon or she'd never be able to leave his side tonight. Her control was slipping more with each passing moment. Just by kissing her, Spike had made her feel more cherished, safe and loved than anyone ever had. Finally Spike pulled away to let her breathe.
Buffy stared up at Spike. His lips were so beautiful. She licked her own lips in desire for him. "I have ... I have ... to go." She said trying to catch her breath.
Spike panted with unneeded breath but nodded. There was no way that he wanted Buffy to regret anything she did with him. He wanted everything to mean as much to her as it did to him.
In a daze, Buffy slowly got out of the car and walked towards her house. She stopped on the porch, turned and waved to him once more. As she opened the door and climbed the stairs to her room, she pressed her fingers to her lips reliving each moment of their kiss.
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Spike drove off back towards the cemetery that his crypt was in. He really didn't want to see Harmony again after kissing Buffy, but he had nowhere else to go right now. He would totally kick her out, but the memories of losing everything when he was chipped haunted him. No, he couldn't do that to anyone, not even Harmony. She needed protection from the sun the same as him. He swore that tonight would be the last night that Harmony would spend at his crypt though. He'd find something for her somewhere else. Even if Buffy couldn't leave the soldier boy, he couldn't have Harmony around. He didn't love Harmony. He loved Buffy.
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As they each went their separate ways, neither one of them noticed that someone had watched them, seeing all he needed to see to conclude that Buffy did not really love him. It looked like he wasn't going to be back in Buffy's bed anytime soon. He knew where he could get his pleasures from though. He didn't need Buffy for it. She didn't have the right teeth anyways. Riley Finn silently walked away determined that he'd get the truth out of Buffy tomorrow one way or another.
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Not Beneath Me - (5) Facing The Facts
Chapter Summary: Don't you think it is about time that Buffy kicked Riley to the curb for good? Did a good night's rest give her the proper perspective? I sure hope so. {Smiles}
Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed on the Index page of this story.
'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.
Buffy woke up and rolled over to look at the clock. She freaked when the clock read 9:30 am, thinking she had missed her first class. A moment's pause and she realized that today was Saturday. She rolled back over to face the closed window. She was almost asleep again when the phone rang. She tried to ignore the incessant ringing at first. Dawn loved to answer the phone. So, she hoped that Dawn would get it.
After 7 rings no one else had picked it up yet. So, Buffy leaned over to pick up the phone on her nightstand and answer it. "Hello?" Her groggy voice cracked.
"Buffy? Did I wake you up?" Riley's voice echoed clear over the line.
When she heard Riley's voice, Buffy felt slightly guilty about wanting to go back to her dreams of Spike. She knew that she shouldn't be feeling the way she did about Spike, especially without her current boyfriend knowing. "Yeah, but it's okay." She needed to make a decision, and now was the time. Her voice took on a bit of a grim note, "Hey, what are you doing today?"
"Not much, why?" Riley already knew why Buffy wanted to know what he was doing today. He wasn't going to let her slink out of any of this easily. He decided to play along for now.
"There's something that I have to talk to you about, but I need to tell you this in person."
"Okay," was the only thing that Riley could get past his lips. Whether he realized what she wanted to do or not, that didn't mean that he wasn't hurt over it all.
"How about I meet you at one of the picnic tables in the University Commons? Does 11 sound okay?" Buffy bit her lip nervously. 'I don't know if I can do this.' She inwardly cringed. 'If you want to be fair to everyone, you need to. You can't be with Riley and want Spike. It's wrong.'
"Yeah." Riley said with a sigh. "See you then. Gotta go." Riley hung up before Buffy could even say goodbye.
The dial tone blared in Buffy's ear. 'Uh-oh,' She thought. 'Does he know what I'm going to do?' She didn't think he could know. Spike wasn't even around Riley yesterday. She really hated breaking up with Riley like this, but she had realized something. Spike was right. She was not really in love with Riley. If she was, why couldn't she let him in about Dawn and talk to him about all the things that were bugging her? Wasn't he the one that she should be able to confide in?
No, instead she had confided her secrets in Spike. For some odd reason, Buffy felt like she could trust Spike. He comforted her after he found out her Mom had to go to the hospital, and he had tried to cheer her up when she told him about the spot the doctor's found. Just being with him on the back porch, at the hospital, or even in his car last night had made her feel better. She had finally felt that everything was going to be all right if he was by her side.
Buffy still couldn't figure this all out in her mind though. It didn't make as much sense in the scheme of things as it did in her heart. There was no way that she could go on with anything behind Riley's back. She did not want to cheat on her boyfriend, and she already felt bad enough about what happened with Spike. She didn't want to feel bad about anything with Spike. He was the only thing that made her feel good.
When Buffy was completely dressed and ready to go, she trotted down the stairs to the living room. Dawn and Xander sat on the couch watching movies together. "Hey guys."
"Hey Buffster." Xander grinned with a mouthful of popcorn.
"Hey Buffy." Dawn beamed. She jumped up to wrap her arms around her sister tightly.
Buffy hugged Dawn back. "I need to go out and meet Riley for a little bit. I shouldn't be too long."
Dawn huffed, stepped back and crossed her arms. She didn't like Riley. He may be nice enough at times, but he always treated her like a little kid. Besides she liked Spike better.
"Don't give me that look, Dawn." Buffy waggled a finger at Dawn then tickled her. "Xander, will you take Dawn to the hospital for me if I'm not back in time? Mom's pre-op is at 6:00 pm. The doctor said that we could see her before she went in for the removal." She tried to keep her voice solid, but she couldn't hide the fear from her face.
"Not a problem, Buffy." Xander sat up to the edge of the couch. "Are you sure that you won't need a ride too?"
"Naw. Once I get done talking to Riley, I'll come back here to get some things together for Mom." Buffy smiled to Dawn.
Dawn raised a curious brow. She knew that there was something about Buffy's demeanor this morning that seemed secretive. "I'll tell Mom that you'll be there before surgery."
"Thanks, Dawnie." Buffy hugged her again tightly. "I love you, Dawnie. I always will."
Dawn squeezed her sister once more before letting go. "Hurry up and go. The sooner you go talk to Riley, the sooner you can see Mom." She let her sarcasm be heard as she emphasized Riley's name. "If we're still here when you get back, you can go with us."
Buffy chuckled. "Don't worry, Dawn. I'll be back as soon as I can." She headed out the door. 'I don't want to drag my conversation with Riley out any longer than I need to.'
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Buffy paced through the University grounds in turmoil. She was so nervous that she had reached the campus at 10:30, a full half hour before her meeting with Riley. She tried to think of the best way to tell Riley how she felt without hurting him as much. 'Yeah, I think I might love Spike, the evil fiend who tried to kill me, more than you. So, go away so I can figure it out.' She thought to herself sarcastically. 'That would go over oh so well.'
Buffy suddenly stopped in the middle of the path between concourses. Her thoughts backtracked to what she had been thinking about a few minutes ago. 'Love him? Uh, no way.' She groaned. She knew she was starting to care for Spike, but love? 'I so can't fall in love with another vampire. Giles will kill me!'
Finally, unable to delay it any longer, Buffy reached the picnic tables in the Commons. She looked around for Riley, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. 'Odd.' She looked at her watch, 11:15. 'Great, don't tell me that the guy I'm breaking up with is standing me up for the break up?' She chuckled inwardly at that thought. She sat down at a table near a small line of trees.
A few minutes later Riley came up and sat down across from Buffy at the table. "Sorry, I'm late." His voice clipped out shortly.
"It's okay." Buffy bit the inner side of her cheek trying to remember all that she had thought to say before. Her mind went completely blank about what to say, but she noticed that Riley seemed to look a little pale today. "About what I needed to talk to you about ..." She trailed off realizing that breaking up with Riley was even harder than she thought it would be.
"Yeah?" Riley asked. There was no way he was giving her any leeway. She was going to come out with it. He had known for a while that Buffy didn't really love him like she did Angel. He never expected her to chase after another vampire though. Worst-case scenario he thought Buffy would go back to Angel.
"Well, see it's umm ... complicated. I think that maybe we should ..." Buffy broke off again. 'Come on girl. Stop stuttering like a true idiot.'
"Buffy, just say it already." Riley snapped impatiently. He knew she was breaking up with him, but damnit he wasn't going to let her drag it out this much. "Sometime this afternoon would be nice. I do have other places to be."
Buffy stared at Riley wide-eyed. She wasn't used to him getting all edgy. Yeah his face would get twitchy when he was upset, but he didn't usually snap at her like that. It gave her the courage that she needed to continue with what she needed to say. "I think we should take a break from seeing each other." She said quickly before she could chicken out again. "I don't think we should date each other anymore."
There was an awkward silence between both of them. "Is that all you want to tell me?" Riley asked. 'She isn't going to tell me about Spike. I don't know whether to be mad that she isn't telling me or happy that she isn't rubbing my face in it.'
"Yes." Buffy responded uncomfortably and confused as to why Riley was calming looking at her instead of being sad that she was breaking it off. Maybe Riley felt the need to break it off as much as she did.
"Right." Riley laughed. "You see you left out the part where you go around making out with the undead behind my back." He responded coldly. "You and your vampires."
Buffy's eyes widened in horror. 'Oh shit. He knows.' She had no clue what to say. It wasn't a matter of admitting or denying it. She wasn't going to lie to Riley, but she didn't know what to say to him now. She was growing more and more furious inside. Was he spying on her again?
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Riley continued. "I happened to see you in his car last night, and I saw you kiss him." He pushed himself to stand up partially. "How long has this been going on? Did anything else happen between you ... No, wait. I'm not sure if I even want to know the answer that last one."
"Riley, how could you think ... No, nothing else happened." Buffy felt bad enough about a few kisses. How could he even think that she'd do more behind his back. "He was giving me a ride home from dinner and then it happened." She knew it sounded horrible, but she didn't know how else to explain what she felt when she kissed Spike. She wasn't about to mention that it wasn't the first kiss either.
"Fine." Riley was fuming. "I guess I was right that a normal guy isn't enough for you. You said yourself that if superpowers were what you wanted, you'd be dating Spike." He spat the words out at Buffy wish as much venom as he could. "I told you then that you'd run off. I just didn't realize that you really wanted Spike."
Buffy was dumbfounded. This was exactly the root of their problems. She could never think of what to say to Riley, even when things were going well between them. 'Wait, who's breaking up with whom here?' She thought and decided to kick back. "Riley, my being with Spike has NOTHING to do with who is stronger than whom or if you are as strong as I am. Get over it." She had been sick of his tirade when he'd almost killed himself because of the Initiatives meddling. She definitely didn't care for his pity party now. "I can't even talk to you anymore. Face it. We've grown apart. I'm sorry, but you don't help me. You smother me. I can't do this anymore." She started to cry. What was going on with her? She was leaving a "normal" life behind to be with Spike? Was she crazy? "I'm sorry because I know this hurts you, but I also know that I'm not the only one who feels that we just don't belong together anymore. If you are honest with yourself, you'd admit it too."
If Riley had been thinking with his brain he would have seen the sense in her statement. Hadn't he told Xander a long time ago that he knew Buffy didn't love him. He was growing more and more restless in Sunnydale. He felt worthless and without purpose. Buffy never leaned on him. The Scoobies didn't seem to really need him either. Instead of dwelling on it, he lashed out at Buffy. "Yeah, like you can talk a whole lot better to Spike." He snapped, trying to cover up his own pain.
"Yes, I can actually, but I'm getting into a pissing contest of the pro's con's of Spike versus Riley." Buffy stood up, hands on her hips. "This was happening long before the whole surgery too, and you know it. Big bad Riley isn't top man on campus anymore and he's pissed about it." She sneered.
"Watch it, Buffy." Riley jumped up and got right in Buffy's face. He towered over here, but that didn't seem to faze the little blonde. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"I don't?" Buffy laughed. "When the Initiative went down you lost your little throne at the "top" of the food chain, didn't you?" She dared him to contradict her firing at him with a glare. "You weren't lord of the manor over all things demon and human anymore. I've never needed your protection, and you couldn't stand it."
Riley's jaw clenched, and his hands fisted themselves. "You're pushing a fine line, Buffy."
"Can't handle the truth? Once in the Initiative, always an Initiative mentality. Isn't that right?" Buffy wasn't about to back down for the overgrown schoolboy. He had peeved her off, and he was going to get the full emotional outburst from Slayer and Buffy. "Face the facts, Riley. You can't accept anything but what was programmed into that brain of yours. You refuse to see that even someone like Spike can change and be a better man than you could ever be."
Riley had enough of this garbage. In a moment of rage he drew back his hand and slapped Buffy hard across the face. "I told you to shut up!" He bellowed. Students around the whole Commons area stopped to watch the spectacle.
Buffy's eyes were as round as saucers in shock. "Didn't your mother teach you that it isn't nice to hit girls?" She hit Riley with a right hook and then kicked him hard in his mid-section, sending him flying several feet away from her. "I'm warning you, Riley." She stepped up to his body on the ground. "Stay away from me, my family, and my friends." She leaned down closer, a bit of a sneer on her lips. "Especially Spike. I didn't want it to end this way but NO ONE gets away with what you just did. I don't like to hurt humans, but I will protect all that I love." With that she stood up and headed back for home. 'I'll bet that I don't even get a bruise. Wimp!'
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