So, I'm here. I'm finally here. After two weeks of convincing my parents that I'm mature enough to go, I'm here.

*FLASHBACK*

"Mom, I was wondering if I could..."

"No."

"Daddy..."

"Ask your mother."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Soooo... here I am, and I will finally get to see HIM... *sigh*

he is The God of all things gorgeous and he is here today and I'm so scared I can barely stand. My legs feel like they are made of jelly, my hands are sweaty and my stomach full of butterflies every time I think of him.

I'm clutching my Spongebob Squarepants notebook close to my chest. This is the notebook he will be touching today. Hopefully. I'm planning on asking him for an autograph, but that might change anytime, because I am so nervous I can hardly think straight.

Actually I must mention that it wasn't my idea to come here in the first place. It was Willow's. She's my best friend since we were still in diapers. And she has a total crush on the base player. She has his posters on every wall of her room. She's a VOTS. Victim Of The Smile. That's what she calls it. According to her, I'm a VOTL. Victim Of The Look. No arguing there. I have never seen the eyes so blue and hypnotizing ever in my whole 18 years of existence. Ohhh... those eyes... I could just stare into those blue orbs for eternity...

Anyway, as I mentioned, it was all Willow's idea. She pointed out few good reasons for me to be here...

*FLASHBACK*

"You're NOT GOING?!?!?"

"I-I-I'm so sorry, Willow. I-I can't. I'll just make a total goof out of myself. You know that. I'm such a clutz. I-I can't."

"Oh, yes you can."

"No, I can't."

"You're going, and that's final."

"No Willow, I'm NOT!"

"Let me put it this way, missy. Either you're coming with me and have a time of your life with a man of your dreams, or this" Here she pulled out a crumpled picture, "is going to be tomorrow's topic of the day in the whole school."

"How did you... where did... You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

"..."

"..."

"What time do you want me to pick you up?"

*END OF FLASHBACK*

...and that's how I got here. Willow has a great gift of persuasion. No one can refuse her. I've heard of a few who did, but I haven't seen them at school ever since.

So. The concert was amazing. I didn't hear a word he was singing, six thousand of screaming girls being the obvious reason. But I did have a great view. First row in the middle - courtesy of Willow, Best Friend Ever. And now we are backstage with a shiny plastic VIP passes around our necks - again, thanks to Willow. Did I mention that she THE Best Friend Ever?

My heart is pounding in my chest and I clutch my notebook closer. I am about to meet the man of my dreams and I'm a wreck inside. What if I trip and fall, what if I drop the notebook, what if something really embarrassing happens, like for example, I bend to retrieve my notebook and my pants rip? Oh God. Bad thoughts. Don't think of the bad. Deep breath. In with the good. Breathe out. Out with the bad. Breathe in. In with the good.

OK. Better now.

Willow is standing next to me, looking at me strangely.

"You OK?" She asks concerned.

"'m fine." I mumble.

"You look kinda green on the face..."

Her brow is crunched. She knows I'm freaked out. I can't help it. I'm not as brave and beautiful as she is. I don't have her self-assurance. I... I... Oh.God. He just walked in...

"I don't feel good." I say and I run out to the nearest bathroom.

Willow is at my side in a matter of seconds. She looks worried when she sees my pale face.

"You OK Buffy?"

I just nod. She takes out a tissue and wets it under a cold water, then presses it to my burning forehead. It feels so good I close my eyes for a second. I feel her hand on my shoulder and I open my eyes to see her smiling to me. No, scratch that. It's not a smile. It's a grin. I don't like it. It looks almost... evil...

"Wh-why are you smiling like that?" I stammer. Oh. This is of no good.

"Like what?"

"Willow..."

"Yes Buffy."

"Did... by any chance... he happen to umm... see me running out... maybe?" I can feel the remaining of the color drain from my face and my legs feel all wobbly. I hold onto the sink for support.

"Noooo. No. No he didn't." She answers quickly.

I don't like that either, but I want to believe her so much I let it pass.

I gather myself together and we walk out of the bathroom 10 minutes later.

We walk to the VIP room, where the after-party is and I can see him standing there, talking to some girls, looking like a God that he is. To me anyway.

Willow pushes me forward in his direction.

"Go ahead. Ask him for an autograph."

I dig my heels into the beige carpet. She pushes harder.

"Don't be a baby."

"I can't Willow."

"Yes you can."

"No I can't. He won't even notice me."

She stops pushing me and I stammer back a few steps. She grabs my shoulders and turns me to face her.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" She raises her voice dangerously high. I beg her to keep it quiet. "Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You're the most beautiful girl in this whole place. You have a perfect body and an angelic face and you're funny and intelligent and most of all... you're YOU. There's no one like you. So just go there and be your own self and dazzle him with your charm... work your mojo or whatever you do, and he'll be drooling all over you in a matter of seconds."

I stand there, listening to her praising me and I blush like a virgin. I've never thought of myself as beautiful. Willow's words give me the courage and I take a deep breath, turn and start walking towards him.

'I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.' I keep repeating in my mind. I'm about 10 feet away from him, when he turns over and looks directly at me. I freeze in place. My heart is pounding in my chest and I have a hard time breathing. His blue eyes stare directly into my hazel ones... although I'm not sure they're hazel... I kinda don't remember now. He slowly smiles to me and I feel my stomach drop down and my heart with it. I take an involuntary step forward, still holding to my Spongebob notebook as if it was my lifesaver. I can't seem to take my eyes off of his. It's like they're pulling me inside, drag me against my will closer and closer. I'm sure I'm blushing furiously now - I can feel my cheeks burning. I'm almost at his side now and I take a deep breath and the next thing I know I'm being pushed aside rather violently and my nose is smashed against the hard surface of the nearby table and I feel dizzy.

Someone's at my side instantly and lifts my chin up. I meet the same blue eyes I was hypnotized with before, but this time they're not blue anymore. They're very dark and... is that concern?

I feel a warm liquid slowly forming its way down from my nose to my mouth and chin and I lift a hand to touch it. It's blood.

Did I mention that I'm kinda scared of blood? Well, I am.

I look into those dark eyes of a man of my dreams and back to my hand.

"I don't like blood" Is all I say and then there's only blackness and I feel strong arms wrap around my waist as I slip into an oblivion.

~~~~

I wake up with a strange feeling of peace and a feeling of a hand caressing my hair. It so very delicate and I don't want to open my eyes, but then I start hearing noises around me and everything comes back to me in an instant. I've been properly knocked out by a crazed fan, with no manners whatsoever. I open my eyes and there they are again. The bluest of the bluest eyes I've ever seen. Am I still dreaming? I lift my hand to my other arm and pinch myself hard only to whimper painfully a second later. OK. I'm not dreaming. And blue-eyed God is looking down at me and he smiles. It was his hand in my hair this whole time. I will never wash it again. I realize now that I am lying on the very table that gave me a nose bleed of a life-time and that there's at least thirty people around looking at me curiously. I lift myself up to a sitting position and look around in confusion. I touch my nose experimentally. It has stopped bleeding. I wonder how long was I out.

"Are you allright, luv?"

I turn my head in the direction of the voice and realize that HE is speaking to me. My head feels light again. Maybe I should lie down again. Just for a second.

"Doll?" He asks again.

"Y-Y-Yeah. I'm fine. Thank you." I stammer. Talking to a God has never been easy for me.

"I am so sorry for what happened."

"It's OK, really. I'm fine."

He smiles at me and I feel my insides melting into a puddle of warm goo. I stop myself from whimpering when he touches my hand and takes it in his.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is William. You can call me Spike." He shakes my hand.

"I know. I-I-I mean, nice to meet you. I'm... I'm... "

"... Buffy!" Willow throws in.

I have to remember to buy her a 'thank you' Hallmark card.

"Hi. My name's Willow. Me an' Buffy go way back." She says happily.

I watch them talking for a moment and I feel jealous. I wish I was like Willow. She's so full of energy and she's so at ease. Why I can't be like her?

The remaining three guys of the band appear and I see Willow blushing furiously.

"Spike." One of them - Xander, speaks, "What's with the chick?" He peaks from behind his shoulder to look at me and I feel like I'm an exhibit in a museum. I drop my head down and play with the hem of my backless top.

"A little accident. A crazed fan... an elbow out of control... and a bloody nose. Got it fixed though, right pet?"

He puts a hand on my shoulder and I jump startled. I look at him apologetically and he nods and smiles back.

Xander pushes through.

"You OK?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Buffy, this here is Xander." Spike introduces us and we shake hands.

Two more guys push forward and they stand in front of me grinning like idiots. One of them nudges Spike and he rolls his eyes.

"OK, OK. Stop bloody poking me Peaches..." he mutters. "Angel and Oz, meet Buffy. Buffy - Angel and Oz."

He introduces us and Angel leans over to me, takes my hand in his and lifts it to his lips. I feel dizzy when his warm lips touch my skin. He looks at me with half closed eyes and smirks. I'm blushing again and I want to run away and lock myself in the bathroom.

I see Spike from the corner of my eye. He's eyeing Angel and there's this same look on his face when he was holding me before, and the dark in his eyes is back. He mouths something to him and Angel grins before dropping my hand and disappearing in the crowd of screaming teenagers.

Spike's eyes bore into his back when he walks out, but when he turns around to me, the deep hypnotizing blue of his eyes and the ever present smirk are back.

He helps me down from the table.

"I feel terrible for what happened before" he indicates to my nose. "If there's anything I can do for you...?"

"No! I'm allright! Really. You shouldn't be worried. And it's not your fault anyway... I am the clumsy one. I should've moved aside..." I drop my head down and stare at my black leather boots.

"At least let me sign this for you." He points to my notebook.

I smile and give it to him.

"Ah... Spongebob. My favorite." He says, before motioning to me to turn around.

I do and I feel him closing to me. He puts the notebook on my back and leans over lightly. He brushes his arm on my bare back as he writes, and I feel a blush creeping in again. God! Will it ever stop!?!

Finally he takes the notebook off of my back and I take this as my cue to turn around again. He smiles and gives it to me, and before I have time to react he leans over and closes his mouth over mine. My eyes must be popping out of my sockets in surprise, but in an instant they close and there's nothing in my head and all around us. There's only me and him and his delicate warm mouth pressing to mine. His tongue darts out for a moment to tease my lip and then it's gone and I can't feel his mouth on mine anymore and it's like I've lost something very dear to me. I open my eyes and I am instantly pulled into his burning ones again. He lifts his hand to touch my cheek. He brushes his thumb over my still kiss-swollen lips and leans over.

"You DO taste like strawberries. I love strawberries." He whispers to my ear.

Then he walks away. I am still dazed from the kiss when I see him stopping and turning around to me one more time.

"See you later, Strawberry!" He says and then he's gone.

I look around for Willow and see her standing in a corner talking to Oz, laughing and blushing every time he touches her.

I smile to myself. I'm happy I have a friend like Willow. Because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here today, and I wouldn't be kissed by a man of my dreams like I've never been kissed before.

I open my notebook and gasp when I read Spike's entrance:

"I wonder what it would be like to kiss you, pet.

I bet you taste like strawberries.

- Spike."

Chapter 2

Have you ever had this feeling deep down in your gut, that THIS is the day you will remember for the rest of your life? I had. It was exactly fifteen days, 3 hours and about.... lets see here... 47 minutes ago. And it was the most amazing day of my life.

I can still recall every minute of that day, just like it happened yesterday. His lips pressed to mine, teasing and tasting and his hand in my hair, pulling me closer to him. It was an amazing feeling. I've never been kissed like that in my whole life. And even though it lasted only for about 20 seconds or so, it was the most sensual and erotic experience I've ever... experienced. I know, I'm babbling. But it's not as bad as it was the first couple of days after THAT DAY. You should have seen me - walking around with this far away look in my eyes, being there, but not quite there, sighing every now and then. Oh, it was bad. Maybe it's good you didn't see me like that. But I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about.

I wonder if there's a group that helps people like me. 'A Rock Star Addict Anonymous' or something. 'Hello. My name is Buffy, and I'm in love with a rock star.'

Thank God I snapped out of it in time. It could turn ugly if I didn't. Now, over two weeks later I'm the same oll' Buffy - the clumsy chick with a serious self esteem problem and...

"Hey, watch where you're going, lady!" a man in it's late thirties growls at me, bending down to retrieve the book that I accidentally knocked out of his hand.

"I..I...I'm sorry, sir. I wasn't looking..." Did I mention CLUMSY??

He mutters something under his nose and goes away.

Well, at least I know the old Buffy is back. Huh.

I'm on a mission today. It's Friday night and I'm dateless. Again. But that's OK. I get to spend my Friday night with my three best friends. A Blockbuster DVD, a bowl of popcorn and a box of tissues. Willow can't come over today - she's in Florida on a Rosenberg Family Reunion. For a whole weekend. Poor baby. My parents are away for the weekend too. Yay!

So, armed with 4 greatest tear squeezers ever made in Hollywood, a family pack of microwave popcorn and a ton of assorted candy, I head out of the Blockbuster to spend my Friday night with a nose in the tissue box. My arms are loaded with junk food and the DVDs and I can hardly see in front of me. I struggle with the door for a second, trying to open it and juggle the stuff in my hands at the same time. Frustrated, I kick the door with my foot and they fly open and there's a smack followed by a loud "OWW!" and a thud.

I freeze in place. This has just not happened. I lean to the left to peak from behind the stuff on my hands to see what have I done this time, and my eyes grow wide. There it is again. The same suffocating feeling I had over 2 weeks ago.

The man sitting flat on the ground before me is holding his forehead and muttering something under his nose. Then he looks up to me and my jaw fells wide open.

"Strawberry!" He growls. "What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me? If you didn't like me kissing you then, you could just tell me so, not trying to bloody beat the hell out of me!"

I feel my knees go weak and my hands suddenly feel so heavy. I drop all the stuff to the ground before him and I cover my mouth with my hands to keep myself from gasping out loud.

He remembers! I can't believe he remembers! My insides are flipping and my heart is pounding and I can't breathe again. Oh.My.God. He remembers.

He's looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. I have to say something... anything... before he decides to leave. Quick. Think, Buffy. What did Willow say that day? Work you mojo or something? What the hell is MOJO???!!! God, I wish Willow was here...

"I..I..I..I... " Oh. Now that was very intelligent. Maybe I just shut up now and start acting.

I bend over to help him off the floor and he, at the same time decides to get up too, and we bang our heads together. Ow. Ow, ow, ow. That hurt.

"Bloody Hell!" Spike is back on the ground clutching his head in pain and swearing loudly.

I look at him apologetically, rubbing my forehead. He sighs and lifts his eyes to mine. Oh God. Those eyes. No. No. no. no. Not again. I will NOT fall into it again. I will NOT fall... But how can I not??!! They are staring intensively at me, piercing me to the ground. I can't move. How does he do THAT?! God. I hope I'm not drooling.

Spike shakes his head and smiles to me and I'm blushing furiously.

"Tell you what, Strawberry." He starts. "How about YOU stay where you are, and I do it by myself? Huh? How does that sound, pet?" He tilts his head and rises his eyebrows.

I manage to nod dumbly. He gets up and bends again to retrieve my stuff from the ground. He goes over the titles of my movie selections and smiles to himself, and I'm looking around for something to knock myself over with. Could this evening be more embarrassing?!

Finally he looks up to me again and I reach out to take my things from him, but he won't let me.

"How about I help you with those, pet?"

My jaw falls to the ground for the second time this evening. He wants to go to my house? With me? Where there will be only him and me? And nobody else? All alone? Me and him? Him and Me? Alone?...

Oh, he's saying something again. Pay attention, Buffy.

"Can't have you running around all loose and dangerous with all that stuff on your hands now, can we?"

He laughs out loud seeing my stunned face.

He gives me half of the things and bows in front of me.

"After you, my lady." He gestures with his hand for me to lead the way.

My house is only three blocks away and we are there within five minutes. I can't tell you that I'm not nervous. I can't also tell you that I'm not freaking out inside. Have you ever had a celebrity in your house? Especially the one you're madly in love with? Suddenly you feel that the house is not clean enough, and not stylish enough. What if he doesn't like it? What if he...

Darn it. He's talking again! What did he say??

"Very nice place you got there, pet." Spike announces looking around curiously.

We are in the living room and I gesture to the kitchen where we dump all the stuff from our hands onto the island. I go to the fridge and dig for something for us to drink.

"Thank you. My mom is an interior designer. She did it all herself."

"Well, tell her that she has an amazing sense of style. I love it."

He walks back to the living room and to the huge stone fireplace, where all our family pictures are. I watch him from the kitchen when he picks up one after another and studies it closely. Then he moves to the large, old, oak bookcase filled with antique books and scans the titles with his finger. He tilts his head to the left and right, mouthing the titles, pulling one out and smiling widely.

I come over to him and hand him the coke and he takes it flashing me a grateful smile. Funny, but I kinda feel really at ease now. After the initial shock of seeing him again it all faded and now I see that he's just a regular person, like we all are. He laughs like we do, he jokes like we do, and he does all those things we, normal people usually do. It feels nice to be taking to him without blushing every five seconds.

He shows me one of the books he pulled out from the huge selection. 'Tale Of The Two Cities' by Charles Dickens.

"My favorite one." He says amazed. "I can't believe you have the first original copy. With an autograph." He shakes his head in disbelief. "That's amazing."

I smile. He likes the stuff in my house. How cool is that?!

"It's my dad's. He collects old books. All of it" I gesture to the shelves filled with books. "is a first edition books. Some of them date back to the late seventeen hundreds." I tell him proudly.

I walk to the end of the case, stand on my toes and pull out the book stacked on the highest shelf.

"This one is MY favorite."

I show him the the book. It's 'The Old Man And The Sea' by Ernest Hemingway. He takes it from my hand and our fingers brush for a moment. I feel a blush creeping to my face and I quickly extract my hand and look down, pretending that I'm suddenly very much interested in the pattern on the carpet. I feel his hand gently lifting my face up and I meet his deep blue, hypnotizing eyes. He titles his head to the side a little and gives me a reassuring smile, putting the books back on the side table.

"Don't do that."

I don't understand.

"Don't ever be ashamed of your feelings, pet." He explains further.

I feel like my face is on fire, but I keep looking into those eyes.

"That's a good girl." The back of his hand gently caresses my cheek and I have to fight the urge to close my eyes and lean to the touch. How does he do that? How can he wake up so many different feelings and emotions in me with only one simple touch?

"You are beautiful. Don't you ever forget that." He leans closer and I can feel his breath tickling my ear. "And if you set your mind to it, you can have anyone you want, pet. All it takes is for you to blink, and the men will fall at your knees. That's how powerful you are." He purrs into my ear and I can't help it anymore.

His words make me weak in my knees and I feel dizzy. I close my eyes and lean forward. His other hand is on my hair and he pulls me closer to him and kisses me delicately. It's just a little peck on the lips and then he pulls out.

I open my eyes and I see him looking at me and his deep blue eyes are doing its tricks again, because I can't seem to move. I suck my lower lip into my mouth and he growls and then they're back.

Those soft warm lips are on mine again and they tease and nibble and his tongue is sweeping my lower lip. I moan at the action and he is inside in an instant and I can taste the cigarets and a faint mint flavor. My hands venture to his stomach and I feel his muscles contract beneath my fingers. He angles his head to have better access to my mouth and pulls me even closer. Our tongues are battling for domination but it's a very sensual battle. His hands creep to my back and he massages it before moving down to grab my butt. He presses me harder to him and I can feel what this kiss is doing to him.

Suddenly he pulls out and looks at me with wide eyes. We both breathe heavily, the intensity of the kiss taking the last breath out of us.

I can see something is not right. He looks at me for a moment then drops his head down and runs a hand through his platinum white hair.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I didn't mean to..." He stops.

I can feel the tears coming to my eyes. I don't understand. What had just happened? He sees my glassy eyes and swears quietly.

"Shhh, pet."

He pulls me to him and hugs me close. I burry my head in his chest and I can't stop my tears anymore. They slowly soak into his shirt.

"Don't cry, baby. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

He rubs my back in lazy circles.

I don't understand it at all. I'm confused and I have all this weird feelings I can't interpret. His hand is caressing my back and the other keeping my head on his chest is stroking my hair and it feels very relaxing. I stop crying and listen to him speaking to me quietly.

He tells me it's all gonna be OK, that it'll all work out somehow, but I don't know what he's talking about. I'm very naive when it comes to the matters of the heart. But I listen. I want to believe him so much.

Finally he pulls me out of his grasp and I lift my eyes to look at him. He scowls when he sees my tear strained face.

"I'm sorry, baby."

He coups my cheek and I lean into the touch closing my eyes. I hear him sighing heavily. He drops his hand and I feel his lips delicately brush my cheek, and I'm so afraid to open my eyes.

I hear the front door open and close quitely, and when I'm sure he's gone I burry my face in my hands and sob.

~ ~ ~

One half gallon of vanilla fudge ice cream and about two boxes of tissue later I sit on the couch in the same living room, TV playing quietly in the background, and I try to figure out what the hell had happened here.

From the corner of my eye I see a familiar blonde figure on the screen and I grab the remote to turn the volume up. I watch frozen to the place as the blonde guy leans over to the dark haired girl and kisses her passionately, then they pull out and smile happily to the camera. A headline is flashing at the bottom of the screen and I feel feel numb all over.

The spoon falls out of my hand as I stare at the flashing words:

"Spike Giles and Drusilla Henderson engaged!"

CHAPTER 3: AND THE TEASING CONTINUES...

Sometimes I wonder what would it be like if I had never gone to that damn concert, you know? Never gotten knocked out by that crazed groupie and never ended up in his arms. It would be a hell of a lot easier than it is now, that's for sure.

But then I would never have gotten kissed by Him, and I would never have bumped into him and we would have NEVER ended up at my house that day... Huh... I don't know what to think anymore. I do know that he has some kind of feelings towards me - otherwise, why would he kiss me like he did? Or, maybe I am just a naive little lost girl, who has no freaking idea about love and all that crap.

It still hurts, you know? When I remember. It's been over 2 months and every time I see him on MTV my heart starts beating like crazy. God. I'm such a wuss. All girly and teary over a man who I knew would NEVER be interested in me.

Yeah. It still hurts.

I don't feel well today. Woke up with this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something was trying to tell me that it would be a great idea just to stay in bed all day and watch chick flicks and do nothing. But as much as I would love to do that, I'm afraid I can't. There's this thing called 'school', and I need to be there. So I get up and drag myself to the bathroom and 20 minutes later I am on my not so merry way.

The icky feeling increases with every step I take and this voice in my head just screams at me to go back. It feels down right creepy. Five minutes later, I am ready to forget about school and I turn around the corner, my mind made up.

I cross the street in a hurry and the next seconds are a blur. There's a screeching sound of brakes and a loud 'thud' as I bounce off of a car mask and land flat on the street, a couple feet away.

I lie there for some time looking at the grey sky, trying to figure out what the heck just happened and if all my parts are still attached. I sit up and the dizziness just overflows me. My head starts throbbing and it feels like someone was slamming it repeatedly into a wall for the past 3 hours. I try to shake it off but it only increases.

"Ow! ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!" I mumble while I try to ease the pain by massaging my temples.

"Bloody Hell! Are you OK, pet? I swear I didn't see you! You just jumped out of nowhere!" A familiar voice asks me.

I look up in alarm. My jaw drops open when I see Spike kneeling beside me, a worried look in his eyes. We just HAVE TO STOP meeting like this! Next time we accidentally 'bump' into each other it might end up really bad. Seriously, though. I've had enough of this 'bumping' into him. It starts to be a bit painful.

He is leaning over me, looking panicked and scared beyond belief. He raises his hand to touch my forehead and I wince in pain.

"Bloody hell, woman." He mutters under his breath while taking out a tissue from his long black duster and pressing it against the wound. "You're going to be a death to me, you know?"

"I'm fine, Spike." I snap and shrug his hand off.

He looks disappointed. Did I just hurt his feelings? Well... good. He deserves it, the bastard. No. I don't really mean that. I drop my eyes to the ground and sigh loudly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't...", I start but he interrupts me.

"No. You have every right to be angry with me."

He draws away from me. He is hurt, but tough. So am I. I am so through with this. I will not let him play games with me anymore. No.

I get up on my feet and straighten up. OK. Now or never, Buffy. That's what Elvis said.

"You are right, William. I have every right to be angry with you."

He gets up too and my courage slips away slowly. How am I supposed to do that, when he looks at me like that? With those huge blue puppy dog eyes and... oh no... he's pouting!!! This is so not good. Concentrate Buffy. And whatever you do - don't look into those eyes!

I take a deep breath.

"You lied to me, William."

"I'm sorry."

"I thought that..." My voice starts to tremble and I quickly swallow the knot in my throat. "I thought that... you liked me."

He tilts my chin up, and I have no other choice but to look at him. Bad idea.

"I DO like you, pet. I like you very, very much. " He explains to me slowly, looking deeply into my tear filled eyes. "I like you more than I would like to like you. And that worries me."

He looks at me intently. Am I supposed to say something now?

"I'm sorry, but could you run that by me again? I hit my head when I fell."

He laughs out loud and cocks his head to the side.

"Umm, why don't I take you to my place and I will explain one more time, while I fix your ouchies, huh?" He signals with his head to the car.

I shrug and nod in agreement.

Ten minutes later I am sitting on one of his bar stools in the kitchen, my feet dangling few inches above the marble tile floor. Spike is in the bathroom retrieving the first aid kit and comes back a moment later and kneels down in front of me. He opens the kit and starts on the scratches on my legs. He works in silence and I don't really mind. I am observing his skillful hands working on my ouchies and I can't help but wonder how those hands would look against my skin somewhere else. He looks up to me and smiles when he catches me staring at him and I blush furiously.

Feeling that something needs to be said to break this awful, yet very exciting silence I ask him about the house.

"It was built in the late 1800s" He answers, smiling a bit.

"And the interior decoration is beautiful too. It shows a woman's touch."

His head shoots up to meet my eyes. We look at each other for a long time. He averts his eyes first. Not good. I feel my heart start pounding in my chest.

"Dru decorated it", he almost whispers.

"Oh." I choke out.

He stands up and puts away the kit, not taking his eyes off me. I almost fall off the chair when his next words come out.

"We broke up. About a month ago." He says out of the blue.

"Oh." I manage once again.

So, they broke up. So what? That doesn't mean anything. Does it? Anyone? Oh hell...

"I like old houses. I bet this one has a very interesting history", I tell him, looking straight at him, hoping he'll catch my hidden meaning.

His expression is just priceless. He's dumbfounded and his blue orbs are wide as saucers. I give him a big positive smile nodding slightly.

"It does", He says grinning wide, catching my drift. "As a matter of fact, I can give you a tour if you want. You are stuck here for awhile anyway."

I look at him scrunching my eyebrows.

"It just started raining and I'm not letting you out in that weather."

He points to the kitchen window. As if on cue, lightning strikes. It's so loud it startles me and my eyes grow wide. Spike laughs at my frightened expression and I turn to him pouting.

"'s not funny. I was supposed to be at school 15 minutes ago." I look out of the window again. The rain is so heavy I can hardly see outside. "But I'm sure they will be OK without me for this one day." I finish when another bolt of lightning brightens the kitchen.

Spike helps me hop off of the stool.

"Well, then. Let the touring begin!" He announces and takes my hand in his.

We proceed to the different rooms and within minutes I am completely in love with the house.The lightning and thunder fade and then there's only rain banging against the windows and roof. Spike walks me through the whole house, telling me the story behind the old building. We are having a great time. The initial awkwardness is long gone and for the first time in months I feel relaxed and happy. I am very happy, I might even say. I am so happy I start to hum to myself while he walks me from one room to another and flashes me with his oh-so-sexy grins and smirks. And oh! Did I mention the eyebrow thing? That too. I feel all gooey inside.

"And this", he opens the heavy wooden doors, "is my bedroom."

He gestures with his hand for me to go in first, but I'm so petrified I am glued to the spot.

"What's the matter, pet? Everything OK?", he asks, concerned, touching my shoulders.

I drop my eyes to the ground and fidget with my fingers.

"Pet?"

"Iveneverbeentoamansbedroombefore", I mutter under my nose.

"Come again?", he says leaning closer.

"I've never been to a man's bedroom before", I repeat louder and try hard to look the other way, biting my lower lip painfully.

"Well, pet. There's always first time for everything." He purrs seductively in my ear and I feel my legs turn into mush.

He takes my hand in his and pulls me inside, closing the doors behind him. I stand in the middle of the room, looking around nervously, and then I feel him closing to me from behind. I take a sharp breath in when his hands rest on my shoulders and his breath tickles my ear.

'Thisisit, thisisit, thisisit' my brain recites over and over again, and when his blunt teeth gently scrape the side of my neck I have to remember to breathe.

Then his lips and tongue trace the path up to my ear and my eyes roll back in my head.

"Don't worry, pet. I would NEVER do anything against your will. I'm not like that", he murmurs into my ear, then he pulls away and walks around to stand before me.

I stare at him with wide eyes. Oh God! Now he must think that I'm a total slut!

"I..I..I..I.." I panic and stutter, but he quiets me with a single finger on my lips.

"You are beautiful, you know that, right?" he says trailing his finger from my lips and caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.

In the distance, I can hear the phone ringing and the answering machine answers, but I ignore it, as does he.

He leans closer and just when our lips are about to touch I freeze in place. So does he.

"Hi handsome..."

My attention is drawn to the woman's voice on the machine.

"... I just got your message..."

This voice. I know it. I heard it somewhere before.

"... Thursday is fine with me, Sugar..."

Suddenly it all clicks. Drusilla.

"... can't wait to see you..."

I stumble back a few steps, tears threatening to spill any second now.

"Pet", he starts cautiously walking towards me. "Listen to me. It's NOT what you think."

I back away from him shaking my head. I don't want to hear it. I grab the door handle, twist and pull it hard, sending the door flying open and I bolt down the stairs to the exit. I hear Spike calling after me, but I'm faster. I'm out of the house and in the open air I run, not paying any attention to the pouring rain. I run fast and after what seems like an eternity I stop, breathless, and I fall to my knees sobbing loudly, cursing myself for being so naive and stupid.

TBC

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