Chapter 23 – If You Don’t Know Me By Now

July 18, 2007 8:10 AM

The living room that was still bare of furniture instead was filled with joy. Kate and the babies were home again. Willow and Tara cuddled Jacob while Anya and Xander were in the midst of a family hug. Giles held Kate against him with Benjamin nestled between them. The LA gang, sans Angel, had stopped only long enough to unload the children before leaving again. It was a direct orders from Angel who was still upset by the confrontation with Spike the week before.

“It almost makes a bachelor want to give it all up and get married,” Max quipped while looking over the scene in front of them.

“Do not say anything,” Buffy demanded while glaring at Spike with arms crossed in front of her.

“Oh, Love, what would I say? Except that marriage is the only institution for a man to be in.” Spike said solemnly while one arm glided across her shoulders and a small peck of a kiss was given to her cheek.

Clem and Max both laughed at the display.

“You definitely are training him well,” Clem observed.

This time all four laughed because they knew that Spike was only ‘trained’ because each day Buffy and he were growing closer in spite of everything. There was no longer anything to hide behind as they got up and rebuilt their lives, one piece at a time, each day.

“I hate to do this but we need to get this show on the road,” Buffy muttered as she moved closer to the middle of the room. “Hey, let’s get this meeting over with then everyone can go home.”

“Slave driver,” Anya grumbled without any real emotion behind it.

The others slowly settled down into a circle with their children around them, Dawn and Josh came in from the kitchen to join them. Buffy waited once again until the others were settled before taking a seat on the floor between Spike and Max.

“So, Buff, when is the new furniture coming? Because I do have to protest about holding these meetings sitting on the floor,” Xander complained.

“It’s ordered but we had to choose the bed or the living room furniture to be delivered first, guess which Spike chose.” Buffy responded.

“Yeah, did you all see that bed? That thing is definitely made for handcuffs,” Anya chimed in.

“Okay, let’s get on with this,” Buffy tried to divert the conversation back to business because everyone was saying the same thing about their new bed. Spike had chosen the new furniture insisting he was not sleeping in another prissy bed like the sleigh bed Buffy had picked for them before. This new one was a massive renaissance canopy style with four posts and iron scroll work on the headboard.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll start,” Max decided to try to help Buffy out of her unease. Then as everyone nodded he began to speak, “I got a phone call a little while ago about Donna. She is being flown to Tennessee tomorrow to turn herself in. One of our lawyers is going with her to represent her. No mention will be made of the demon factors involved in this case, for obvious reasons.”

“Will she go to prison?” Dawn asked while staring at Spike to see what his reaction was to her question. She was disappointed when he only stared stone faced at the floor with his hand firmly grasped by Buffy.

“Have no clue. We are going to try to make a deal for her since she didn’t know about the murders until after it was over,” Max answered. “She tells what she knows in exchange for parole or minimum time.”

“We have matched three of the names that she gave with people who are new in town.” Willow piped in when she noticed the tension that the talk about Donna was bringing. “One of those men was at the meeting that Janice attended last week.”

“Janice has also been hanging out with some of the people who go to the meetings but hasn’t been invited or approached about anything more,” Josh contributed.

“Okay, we are going to send in a man to attend the meetings too. Maybe he and Janice could hook up so she isn’t alone there.” Max said.

Dawn and Josh both agreed that it would be a good idea for Janice to have someone else there and they would let her know. They had been worried about her safety if the Soldiers found out she was friends with them.

“As soon as he gets here then I will let you all know,” Max said.

“Anything else?” Buffy asked looking at Max with a smile. “Since you seem to have all the answers tonight.”

“Sorry.” He answered sheepishly.

Shortly afterwards the meeting adjoined with just a few last cautious warnings and instructions for Dawn and Josh to give to Janice.

~~~~~~~~~

July 18, 2007 10:55 PM

Buffy handed Spike a plate to dry as they worked in unified silence with brushes against each other as they invaded the other’s personal space. The atmosphere crackled around them as they hurried through the last of the night’s chores so they could finally be alone in their room. Their heads turned to look briefly as Max entered the kitchen then returned to what they were doing without comment. In the last week he had become almost another member of the house and was treated accordingly. Even Spike had become friends with him after finding him a good debater on history and current events plus a worthy adversary in playing video games.

“What’s this?” Max asked looking at a crude sketch on the new kitchen table.

“It’s some ideas we had for turning the attic into a master suite once everything settles down some.” Buffy answered as she handed Spike the last glass and turned around to lean against the counter. “That monstrosity of a bed that Spike ordered doesn’t really fit into our room and when we were moving Clem in up there we realized that it has a lot space.”

“Sounds good. Is this like a sitting room?” Max’s finger pointed to some rectangles and squares to the right of the drawing.

“Yeah,” Spike came over to stand next to him pointing toward the left of the paper. “And this is going to be a huge bathroom for the lady with a Jacuzzi tub.”

“Is it going to be heart shaped? Buffy finds them fascinating.” Max joked.

Max realized his mistake as Buffy’s face fell and Spike turned inquisitive eyes first at her then at him. Apparently Buffy had never told all the details of what had happened that afternoon.

“How you would know that?” Spike asked calmly waiting as Max and Buffy looked at each other unsure of how to answer. The longer they hesitated the more suspicious he became. Finally Buffy tried to explain.

“When you were with Donna and I met Max, it was at a hotel on the coast to discuss the…”

Buffy wasn’t given a chance to finish as Spike grabbed her arm turning her toward him. She tried to pull away but found herself backed into the counter with Spike’s arms on either side of her.

“Spike, stop, it wasn’t like that and you know it.”

“If it wasn’t like that then why didn’t you tell me?” Spike’s voice conveyed his hurt and anger. Truly he wanted to believe her but there was a part of him that remembered when he said that she was free. And he had apparently given her that freedom when she was with Max in a hotel room.

“Spike, come on man, let her go,” Max implored. Buffy looked scared and he was getting worried about her. His mistake though was laying his hand on Spike’s arm.

Spike vamped out as he growled at Max.

“Do not ever come between MY wife and me? Get out of here now,” Spike shouted while his fist slammed down on the counter for emphasis. Buffy flinched and Max took a step back as they waited for his next move.

“It’s okay. He’s not going to hurt me.” Buffy turned pleading eyes to Max knowing it would only be worse if he stayed.

With a slight nod Max turned and against his better judgment left them alone.

Once he was gone Spike turned back to Buffy.

“Now tell me exactly what happened.”

She reached out to place her hands on his upper arms and her eyes looked directly into his.

“The plan for you to go to Donna was not the only one the family had. They also wanted me to meet with Max to find out if he was on our side and could help us or was against us. I didn’t know about the plan until after you were gone. I called him and told him that you had left me for Donna and I wanted to talk. That I needed to be with someone. He agreed…”

“So, the plan was for you to call him and act like you wanted to get fucked and…”

“No, well yeah,” Buffy corrected. “But he didn’t believe it. He knew when I got there that it wasn’t what I really wanted. We talked, I called you, and that was it.”

“That was all? There was no touching or anything?”

Buffy’s eyes flickered, darting away briefly, then returned to his.

“Tell me the truth,” Spike demanded.

“When I got there he met me at the door and he kissed me,” Buffy hesitated as Spike growled softly, “on the side of my mouth. It was just for show, Spike, in case anyone was watching.”

“Anything else? And don’t lie to me.”

“Stop it. I am not some damn suspect that you are interrogating.” Buffy pushed at his arm so she could walk away but she didn’t get far as Spike grabbed her to pull her back to face him. His hand wrapped around her wrist.

“Damn it, Buffy. Why can’t you just tell me? Did you sleep with him?” Spike’s voice cracked with emotion.

“God, no, he’s been here for a week and have you seen any sign that we are having an affair? It would seem you would be the first to know if he did something for me.”

Spike released her as he turned away from her.

“There’s something that you aren’t telling me. I know you, I know when you lie.”

Buffy walked over to him wrapping her arms around his waist. It was time to tell him what she should have told him the night he came home. Even the most innocent of statements and questions could be misconstrued when they weren’t dealt with openly and honestly. She laid her face against his back and felt the tears drift across her cheeks.

“I was so lonely, so scared that you weren’t coming home. I felt so unattractive, like I wasn’t woman enough anymore. I just wanted to feel wanted again.” Buffy tightened her arms as she felt him shake with emotion. “I asked Max if it would be hard for me to seduce him. He turned me down.”

It took only a second for Spike to pull her arms from around him and push her away from him. Anger raged through him as he stared at her knowing that he really didn’t have the right to feel this way or the justification.

“Nothing happened,” she protested again. It was almost like she could feel the ground beneath her crumble as she watched Spike lose control. If he would only listen to her with his head and not his insecurities then maybe this wouldn’t be so bad but her hopes for that were quickly dashed as a glass was thrown across the room shattering on the wall behind her.

“Oh, that’s great, there goes the new matched set,” Buffy muttered sarcastically.

“You just told me that you asked someone else to have sex with you and you are worried about a set of glasses.” Spike snarled as he reached for the full dish drainer throwing it onto the floor. “The hell with the dishes. You betrayed me.”

“Damn you, Spike. You know nothing happened between Max and me. I’m sorry that I was vulnerable and lonely while you off having your little identity crisis but you know what, I knew nothing would happen with Max, Max knew nothing would happen and you, sure as hell, know nothing happened. You are just having a temper tantrum because you are looking for an excuse to run again. To find anything to prove that this isn’t going to work. You just can’t be happy because you can’t trust it. I’m sorry that you got hurt so much but I sure as hell can’t pay for it forever. So, when you simmer down, come talk to me.”

Buffy turned on her heel and stomped out of the kitchen while Spike stared at her retreating back. Her words quickly calmed the emotional rampage he had been embarking on. In his heart he knew Buffy wouldn’t betray him and that she was right. It had been too good between them and he was scared of losing again. So, he was looking for justification for his fears.

With embarrassment he looked at the mess he had made of their new dishes and swore this time he was buying plastic. He headed for the utility closet to find the broom knowing he had to clean this up before going to make things right with Buffy.

~~~~~~~~~~

July 18, 2007 11:25 PM

Buffy’s intention was to retreat upstairs to wait for Spike to calm down but the sight of Max packing his bag stopped her flight. Unsure of what to say to cover up the raw emotions of her marriage she hesitated for a moment then just asked, “You leaving?”

Max laughed, “It would seem to be the best thing.”

“He’ll calm down.”

After closing the zipper of his bag, Max turned to face Buffy with a look of regret on his face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you hadn’t told him.”

“It’s my fault. It just never came up, I never made it come up, and now I have to pay.” Buffy forced herself to smile at her new friend as if everything was less complicated than it really was.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, all bark and no bite.”

They both laughed nervously at her unintended pun. For the first time since that afternoon when they had met they both felt awkward and unsure around the other. The easy friendship they had forged was now being met with suspicion and if a choice had to be made they both knew that Buffy would easily and rightly pick Spike.

“I’m going to go on upstairs,” Buffy looked behind her at the kitchen door to make sure they weren’t being listened to, “stay in touch, okay? We still need your help. And I’m going to miss you.”

“Bye Buffy. I’ll call in a few days.”

She turned and quickly made her way upstairs before she gave in to the impulse to hug him good-bye. That wouldn’t help the situation at all if Spike caught them together but there was anger too. She didn’t want to have to look over her shoulder all the time wondering if Spike was going to be upset every time she was talking to a man that he didn’t know.

As was now part of her nightly routine she first checked on Elijah then Raven before heading to bed herself. Thankfully Max had been able to arrange for their parent’s possessions to be shipped to them. The children now had their old bedroom furniture giving them more security and familiarity in their new home. There were still a lot of things to sort through but at least they knew that the things were there for them one day.

After Buffy was sure that both Elijah and Raven were asleep and safe, Buffy headed off to her own room to wait for Spike.

~~~~~~~~~~

July 18, 2007 11:45 PM

Spike was sweeping the last of the broken dishes up when Max came back into the room. He looked warily at the Guardian as he casually made his way to the table and took a seat.

“You want something?” Spike asked as he dumped the glass into the wastebasket and leaned the broom against the wall.

“She loves you. It radiates off of her when she mentions your name. It’s in her eyes that this is all she wants in her life,” Max stated never taking his eyes off of Spike.

“I know,” Spike agreed while he crossed his arms returning the other man’s gaze.

“They why put her through that?”

There was no answer that he could give. After the confession from Buffy, Spike was still trying hard to distrust this man even though he knew that there was no reason to. Max had been here everyday working beside them, helping them, and being good to the children. Buffy and Max had treated each other like brother and sister, joking and teasing each other with no overtones of flirting.

“She’s everything and…” Spike stopped unable to formulate the words needed to express his feelings.

“I know,” Max said softly dropping his gaze to the table. “I once had someone like her. Brianna was my everything in life.”

“What happened?”

“We fell in love in high school; she was my first love, my first kiss and we got married when we were in college. Right before graduation I was recruited by the FBI and thought it was the doorway for our future. For six years everything was wonderful. Everything we had dreamed about then I got sent with a team to a small town in New Mexico. They were having a lot of unexplained murders and needed help.”

“Vampires?”

Max nodded his head before continuing. “I had never seen one before in my life. Didn’t even know they existed until we walked into a nest. I learned quickly though and we took out most of them including the girlfriend of the leader, Leonard. He disappeared after the fight, after he told me that he would remember me for dusting his mate. I stayed in that town for a week to clean things up and every night I talked to Bri. Every night I told her that I loved her and she told me the same. There was something different in her voice though. I didn’t hear it; I was too wrapped up in my work, too spooked by what I had seen. Oh, God, I had no clue.”

He stopped for a moment as he choked back a sob. Spike gave him a moment of privacy by looking away until he was ready to talk again.

“When I got home the house was shut up tight, all the curtains were drawn. Leonard had been there, had taken my wife from me and left a monster in her place.” His eyes looked quickly up at Spike, “sorry.”

Spike shrugged his shoulders, “Its okay. I understand.”

“She looked the same, smelled the same, but she was cold and the light in her eyes was gone. I stayed with her for two days; let her feed from me, while I tried to figure something out. It was all new to me, I had no clue, knew nothing about vampires. She had already killed. Leonard had already taken her out and taught her how to feed. Brianna was restless and couldn’t stand the confinement of our house or me anymore. She didn’t want to stay and on the third night he came for her and she was going to go. I destroyed her and he got away again. It took me seven months to track him down. I lived on the run, met with demons, traveled with them, learned the ways of your, old, world. By the time I caught him it was nothing but revenge. The Guardians had heard about me from their contacts on the street. They found me afterwards, offered me a job and here I am.”

“I’m sorry about your wife.”

Their eyes met in understanding for a moment then Spike headed toward the living room stopped for a moment then told Max, “You don’t have to leave.”

“I think it’s better if I do for awhile. Check in with my life and my job.”

Spike nodded then looked over his shoulder at his friend.

“You are welcome here anytime.”

“Thanks.”

~~~~~~~~~~

July 19, 2007 12:22 AM

The room was heavy with the scent of incense and candles. Buffy lay curled in the middle of their new bed while running her hand absently over the new comforter. Slowly she began to trace the swirling patterns of burgundy and green while she waited for Spike. Then her heart constricted in trepidation when she heard his feet padding up the stairs. Not that she was afraid of what he would do in his jealousy but that they had lost precious ground in their relationship.

Her eyes peered anxiously out into the hallway waiting for him to appear but he turned into the bathroom instead. A moment later she heard the toilet flush then water running as he washed his hands and brushed his teeth. A slow sigh escaped her as the bathroom door opened and he came into view walking toward their room. His eyes flicked over her before abruptly turning away to head for the closet. Shoes were kicked off, socks pulled off and finally he pulled his shirt over his head to drop it into the hamper.

Spike's attention was now focused on her. All of his attention as he stood at the foot of the bed, his hands on his hips and waited. And watched. Buffy licked her lips self-consciously and her face flushed slightly as she looked back up at him. And waited for him to make the first move. She had done all she could, told him all of the truth of that afternoon and apologized. It was up to him now. Would he forgive her or would he revert back to the cold, distant and cruel Spike of only a few weeks ago? Had her lie of omission ruined the delicate trust that had been built between them?

"You know what you did was wrong, don't you?" Spike asked. His voice was low, without emotion and it crawled across her skin like the slippery cold of snakeskin.

Buffy nodded her head slowly as she shifted to rest on her knees. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked longingly at him. Her fingers knotted together as she waited.

His eyes moved around the room taking in the candles and the incense burning filling the room with the sweet smell of cinnamon and vanilla.

"Do you want to make love? To put this nasty little incident behind us?" Spike's eyes were once again focused on her.

"Yes."

Then he was there moving across the bed toward her finally coming to rest on his knees in front of her.

"Don't cry," he whispered as his hands began to undo the buttons of her pajamas. "Next time you want to seduce me though a little lace would be nicer than flannel."

His lips moved across hers then shifted so his tongue licked away the tears that had gotten away to splash on her cheeks. A small sniffle escaped her while his lips slid down her neck and her pajama top was pushed down her shoulders. Only to be dropped unwanted over the side of the bed.

"I love you." It was only a whisper as he blew across her nipples, each in it's turn, as he watched them in fascination as they puckered up for him. A tiny lick was given to each of them before he drew back again. Blue eyes studied green as he contemplated his next move. "You deserve my wrath for even offering what is mine to someone else."

Anger flared in green eyes as Buffy shifted to get off the bed, away from him and his double standards and his games. A cool hand rested on her arm and she turned to look at him ready to tell him what she was feeling when she saw the amusement in his eyes. And she waited.

"I said you deserved it. Not that you had it. Because then we would be where we were and I like it here better."

His hand cupped her face as she came back to sit in front of him.

"Do you trust me, Buffy?"

Words that were soft and inquisitive but yet carried the weight of the world in their asking. Sadness surrounded him as he watched her struggle with that answer. Then knowing that only time would bring the answer he wanted, he laid his fingers across her lips.

"You don't have to answer. I don't deserve it yet. One day you won't hesitate though because I will prove it to you. But for tonight, will you?"

She nodded softly. Tonight she would. And someday there would be no hesitation or 'buts' or clauses.

Spike leaned across the bed so that he was lying on his side as he opened the drawer of the nightstand. Slowly so as not to frighten her, he pulled out wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, the leads to tie her to the bed and a blindfold.

This was the first time that they had gone this far in the new games they played. Buffy was nervous because he was already feeling rejected and she still wasn't sure how he truly felt about what had happened but she wouldn't back out now. She inspected a leather cuff with lamb's wool on the side to be worn next to the skin before he took the other one and fastened it around one wrist. Slowly he put the other one on her before gently guiding her onto her back. His fingers slipped into the waist of her pajama bottoms and panties so he could tug them down her legs. Once they joined the top on the floor, Spike fastened the cuffs to her ankles.

"Anytime you want to stop, just say the words and I will let you go." He reminded her before pulling the blindfold over her eyes. Buffy nodded as blackness took over and she felt him guiding her to lie on her stomach.

"If it's too tight, let me know." Spike whispered as he tied her spread eagle across their bed. Once she was secured the way he wanted her he moved so he was lying on her back, as his cheek pressed against hers. "You are not allowed to talk. I will ask, yes or no, questions and you will nod or shake your head to answer. Understand?"

She nodded slightly against his cheek. Then he was gone. His feet padding around the room, the door opened and closed, Buffy panicked slightly at the thought of being left there but the door soon opened and closed again. She almost opened her mouth to ask if it was him but then remembered the rules.

"It's just me, pet." Spike rumbled low in his throat as he turned the stereo on. The sounds of 'Sweet Emotion' filled the room as the bed gave way to him. Buffy could feel him kneeling between her legs, the fabric of his jeans coarse against the softness of her inner thighs. His knees pushed her legs apart a little more as she waited.

A leather covered hand came to rest on her lower back. It was the back of his hand as the fingers curled up and not down. One finger following the part of her bottom before the hand flipped and rested on one cheek. She started as she felt what seemed like a hundred needles resting tip down on her flesh. Spike chuckled as her bottom tensed beneath his hand. So as not to hurt he carefully rubbed the spikes against her.

"They won't hurt you unless I would slap you really hard. Do you think I would do that?"

There was a shake of her head for no. Then her muscles subsequently relaxed again as she once again made a decision to trust him. A slow wet kiss was applied to her lower back. His tongue was rough against her spine, tickling, licking, and flicking as she squirmed under his ministrations. Then it was gone as he moved again, shifting so his knees were on either side of her hips, his hand was next to her arm, fingers sliding below the limb as the gloved hand came to rest on her shoulder.

Almost tenderly the spiked hand drifted down her arm until it reached leather. It tickled the underside of her arm and Buffy giggled from the sensation. Quickly she tried to silence the sound but couldn't stop another to slip away from her.

"Its okay, Love. Responses are allowed, even encouraged. Make as much noise as you like."

Another nod to indicate yes.

The glove hand drifted across her upper back to be drawn along her other arm. This time when he brought it along the underside he deliberately continued to her underarm. Tickling the flesh to incite the girlish giggles from her again. Spike smiled as she laughed and playfully tried to pull away from him. He released her from the torment to take one finger straight down her spine. Chills and delight flooded her being as the ache between her legs grew demanding. Restlessly Buffy wiggled her pelvis against the bed trying to relieve some of her tension.

Spike was gone again. Feet padded across the floor. She wanted to call out to him to come back. But she waited. Her body began to relax the longer he was gone but somehow she knew he was watching her. His eyes burned into her. There was the sound of ice rattling coming from the foot of the bed then the mattress gave way again as he crawled toward her again.

Smack. Not too hard. Hitting only enough to sting across her ass. Buffy jumped at the impact waiting for pain but was relieved when it wasn't too bad. Kisses cold from ice were applied against the sting. Ice cube slowly melted against the burn, still held in his mouth, sliding across her bottom. Water freed from its former state ran down between her legs. Shivers followed in its wake as it came to pool amongst her curls. Then he pulled back and was gone again.

The restraints were loosened on her ankles freeing her. Spike crawled over her to undo the wrist restraints. She curled her arms against her side trying to relax the muscles taut from the unnatural position they were held in.

Noting her discomfort Spike massaged her shoulders working out the kinks for her. She sighed in appreciation as the soreness disappeared. Once her muscles relaxed beneath his fingers he rolled her over onto her back. Carefully he tied her restraints again except this time her arms weren’t so far apart.

“Better, baby?”

She nodded as she tested the flexibility the new position gave her. It wasn’t a lot but she could now wrap her hands around the leather lead that held her down.

Spike crawled off the bed to retie her ankles to the bedposts. As with her hands he gave her more room to move and her legs could fall open now for him. He grunted with satisfaction once he was done. He put the glove back on his hand before he moved back on to the bed.

Goose bumps dotted her legs in the wake of the spikes slowly being dragged along them, first the right, then left. Back up again, caressing her inner thigh, before stopping just below where her thighs met. A slow breath was blown across her curls and she whimpered from the coolness. She tensed again as the spiked hand cupped her, pushing in just enough for her to feel the tips against her. It separated and two fingers followed the outside of her lips before meeting at the top of her mound.

Buffy released her breath when the hand languidly moved up her stomach. Her body was a mass of quivering flesh as he slowly tickled her. Wave upon wave of chills channeled across her stomach, down her thighs then met in a demanding need to be filled at her womanhood.

One finger circled a nipple, scraping across it before drifting to the other side to repeat the gesture across. Spike smiled as Buffy’s breathing became labored, her heart beat tangible beneath his hand as was the blood rushing through her veins. Unable to deny himself he leaned over her to kiss her, his tongue rushing into her mouth, exploring, playing with hers before leaving again. He pulled and sucked on her lower lip before releasing her and smirked when she shivered from anticipation.

Then he was gone again. Footsteps walked around the bed then back again. The music began to play louder, disorienting her as to where he was. Then hands were beside her as Spike’s mouth captured her nipple, nipping then suckling like a baby until it was elongated then released her. The footsteps moved around the bed until the neglected breast was given the same attention. He left her nipples wet with his saliva and they ached from the cool air that drifted through the room.

A moment, a minute, maybe two, Spike was between her legs, not touching her until his head invaded her space. A tongue separated her folds, licking, coming to rest on her clit, suckling, forcing it to respond to him. She was so close to release only a moment more and she would fall over when he abruptly stopped.

Buffy almost wanted to cry from the need pulsing from her core. He was tormenting and teasing her with this and all she wanted was to have him inside of her, to wrap herself around him until they found release.

“It’s almost over.” Spike’s voice was like velvet as he came to lie beside her. His ungloved hand reached out to touch her belly, feeling her heat and sweat, before drifting between her legs. His fingers moved over her, between her and in her before letting her go over the edge. She trembled from the force, from waiting so long, then she froze, disbelieving as his fingers moved lower. One finger, wet from her passion, slipped effortlessly into her bottom. He waited, not moving, staying still, until she relaxed.

It was nothing that she hadn’t done to him a hundred times over the years as her mouth gave him pleasure. Her bottom lip was tugged into her mouth as she willed herself to relax. The moment she relaxed he moved, carefully, cautiously, thrusting into her a few times, just so she got the idea of the rhythm. Then he was gone, off the bed, the door to the bedroom opened and closed, only to repeat a few moments later as he returned.

The darkness was beginning to wear on her, the immobility from the restraints, of being unable to touch him. She had wanted to make love. To feel close to him, not this game, this point he seemed determined to make.

Spike came to lie tenderly on her, his cock lying against her as he propped himself up on his elbows so he could look down at her.

“It’s time for the final exam, Buffy. Answer me honestly.”

A nod.

“Do you find Max attractive?”

A nod. She couldn’t lie; even the smallest lie would hurt them. He kissed her shoulder softly to let her know that it was okay.

“That afternoon, at any point in the offer, were you serious?”

Hesitation but then a small nod. Her heart was speeding up as he felt her anxiety begin to build.

“What would you do if I told you I gave you what you wanted? Sometimes the hands that touched you, the tongue that licked you, suckled you were his. He was here with us.”

Anger, betrayal and hurt raced through Buffy, crashing emotion upon emotion, as she began to struggle against her bonds, trying to buck him off as she felt him stiffen above her.

She froze.

Then it was just anger at him for what he had done, then freedom from it as she laughed for even thinking for a moment that he was serious. This was her Spike. The one from the first day that they had made love said he would never allow anyone else into their bed. The one that wanted to kill at the thought of anyone else touching her. From sharing Drusilla for so long, he would never stand for it again. He loved her too much, wanted to possess her too much, to ever willingly allow anyone else, much less watch as another gave her pleasure.

Buffy shook her head no and forgave him because understanding was beginning to dawn on her.

Spike relaxed above her, kissing her again softly as one hand drifted down her hip.

“Do you want me inside you?”

A nod.

His hips lifted and his hand was between them.

“Do you want me inside you here?”

A finger played at the entrance to her heat.

A nod.

“Or here?’

A finger slipped down to the entrance of her bottom.

Buffy shook her head no.

Spike settled atop her again coming to lay chest to chest with her.

“If I asked you pretty please, to prove how much you love me, to prove that no man could ever take my place by giving me something that no one has had, would you give it to me?” Spike asked pleadingly, seductively against her ear.

A slow hesitant nod.

His hand moved between them again as he felt her body tense, still not comfortable with her choice. As her head turned away as if her eyes weren’t already blinded he was there again with his voice low in her ear.

“Do you really think that I would do it, even with your consent, when I know how uncomfortable you are with it?”

Buffy contemplated his question for a moment before realizing it wasn’t really a question but answers to a lot of questions. The reason he hadn’t slept with Donna, the reason he believed her when she said she never would have done anything with Max. If he had just said that he understood and it was forgiven she never would have been sure but now, in this game he had proved that he trusted her to give him honesty, to sacrifice if she felt their love was on the line and most of all that he would never willingly or knowingly hurt her.

While he waited for her answer Spike began to tense not knowing how she would react but then she smiled and shook her head no. In accepting his trust, she had begun to give him hers again. Her blindfold was slipped from her, her eyes blinking unaccustomed to the light, even the dimness they were in, seeking him out, the love the so evident in the pools of green.

As her hands were freed she drew him into the circle of her arms as he slipped into her waiting need. The kisses rained on the other, their tongues matching the movement of their hips as they fell just a little bit more in love.

TBC

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