Spoilers: Through BtVS season 5
Setting: During "The Gift"
Summary: The jump, Spike's POV
Rating: PG 13
Distribution: Yes, just let me know where it goes.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Joss is boss, I only borrow.

Notes: Many thanks to all of you who helped me with their beta-work and/or feedback: Irishrose, Annie, Rapunzel, Anna and Beetle. And to Maria, for encouraging me to write something of my own. :-)

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“Certainty”

Certainty

If he had been in a mood for self-reflection, this feeling would have surprised him. Not what he’d have expected ...

***

He’d smelled it right away. Lying on his stomach, bones broken from crashing onto solid concrete, face covered with dust and dirt and blood, but he’d still smelled it.

Blood. Dawn’s Blood. Holy fucking crap.

***

Realisation hit. Dawn ... she’s going to die.

All hell broke loose. The sky exploded and the ground shook. The earth split beneath him, and it was all he could do to roll his body aside. That’s when he saw it.

Bloody hell.

Blinding light that hurt his eyes, told him to hide, hide his face, save his wretched body from the consuming fire. But this was not the sun. It would not burn him, would not turn him to dust. This was something else.

This is Dawn. This is what she really is. Energy, light, portal, hell on earth, thunder, fire, death.

What was it she’d said ...
“Maybe I’m not evil. But I don’t think I can be good.”

No, it’s not her. This is their work. The monks, and now Glory ... they’re using her.

I’ve failed.

***

There was not a thing he could do. All his vampire strength and speed and versatility - nothing was going to fend off the inevitable.

She’s going to die. She’s going to die and Buffy won’t be able to do anything. She can’t save her, she can only watch. My God, all for nothing. This is too much, Joyce, Dawn, this will break her...

***

But nothing happened. An eternity of minutes … or was it seconds? Fire, thunder, darkness, but no movement on the tower.

Let it be over with. It has to have the blood.

***

Then finally movement. Feet running on steel. A flash of blond hair.

What is she doing! What the fucking hell is she doing!

Panic.

Fear.

Terror.

Disbelief.

The jump.

***

Certainty.

If he had been in a mood for self-reflection, this feeling would have surprised him. Not what he’d have expected ...

Time froze. Everything went numb, melted together, became non existent.

Deafening silence.
Endless space.

***

His heart was burning, expanding, frozen, torn. He saw only her - no movement, no light, no darkness, no fire. No falling. No cry. No death.

Her heart stopped.

No pain. No despair. No grief.

Just certainty.

That she was gone forever.