CHAPTER 18 – The Time For Truth – Part II

William sat quietly by Elizabeth's side and shook his head slightly in resignation at Dawn's suggestive words before flicking a glance at her elder sister.

Elizabeth's expression betrayed far more than she knew as she watched the door close behind her sister, but he refused to allow himself to weaken. This wouldn't be a situation she could likely ignore and he had no doubt that he was about to be on the end of a lengthy tongue-lashing…although most definitely not of the kind he'd more readily prefer, he acknowledged ruefully as he squirmed uncomfortably at the mental picture of her head in his lap.

He heard her sigh heavily and then felt the bed move slightly and looked up to find her staring at him with an almost fearful look.

"William, there's something I have to tell you," she began and he felt his stomach knot at the realisation that this was it. Finally…she was going to confess and he was suddenly nervous as hell at the thought as it hit him that this was where the games stopped once and for all.

No more hiding and no more lies…on either side, because if there was going to be any way for their relationship to actually develop into something as long lasting as he intended it to be, he knew he had to admit his deceit as well as her.

Elizabeth swallowed hard and tried the calm the millions of butterflies that had suddenly taken flight within her stomach. She was terrified by what she was about to do, but she knew she had to bring this farcical engagement to an end before things went any further.

A warmth engulfed one of her hands and she looked down to see that William had taken hold of it and was rubbing his thumb, almost comfortingly, over the back as if he knew what she was going through and was trying to help her.

That feeling, ridiculous and unfounded though it was, gave her the courage to look back up at him and say breathlessly, "William, I lied to you. I've never been engaged to Connor…or anyone else."

She waited anxiously for him to betray the anger she knew he must be feeling…for the explanations he was sure to demand, but instead, astoundingly, his grip on her hand tightened slightly before he simply said, "Yes, I know."

Elizabeth's reaction was instantaneous. "You know!" she cried in surprise. Suddenly, she was the one who was angry. Wrenching her hand from his grasp, she flung back the covers and attempted to scramble out of bed.

Anticipating her move, William grabbed her around the waist effectively staying her flight. "Ah, ah, ah, not so fast," he told her as she pushed ineffectually against his chest. "You're going to stay right here and talk this out."

Raising her gaze to pin him with a furious look, she suddenly stilled.

The muted light that emanated from the forgotten lamp that still lay on the floor cast a warm glow over the bed and the man who, despite his curt words, was looking at her with such an expression of tenderness that it made her heart ache.

There was something extremely difficult about remaining angry at a person when they were looking at you like that and when you wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss the male mouth so temptingly close to your own.

As if sensing the change in her demeanour, William slowly released his hold on her and eased himself up until he was propped on one arm and looking down at her troubled features.

Her own arms dropped back to her sides and, for the first time, she got a decent look at his leanly toned chest. When he moved an arm across to lay it loosely over her waist, she marvelled at the play of his muscles under the pale smoothness of his skin and felt her mouth go dry while at the same time experiencing a rush of wetness in her nether regions that had her reflexively squeezing her legs tightly together.

Dragging her gaze back to his eyes, she tried to gather her scattered wits together and shakily asked, "H-How did you find out?" Seconds later, another thought struck her and she added in a stronger tone, "And why did you pretend that we were engaged? I mean…"

"No," William interrupted quietly, but firmly. "Your explanations first."

Her explanations first? Elizabeth looked at him uncertainly. His expression was one of determination and yet, behind that resolve, she could swear that she saw anxiety, even pain, shadowing his eyes.

Telling herself that she was imagining it and acknowledging that he probably had every right to demand some kind of justification from her, she steeled herself to be as honest with him as she could…without revealing her true feelings, of course.

"Come on, Elizabeth," William urged doggedly. "Tell me why you felt the need to pretend you were engaged to Connor."

"Well…it was the shock of seeing you here," she began hesitantly. "And it was a shock. I thought…" She stopped and bit her lip worriedly before looking away.

The truth seemed so appallingly insulting all of a sudden that Elizabeth was suddenly unsure how to voice it. It'd all seemed perfectly logical then, when she didn’t really know William, to assume that he, like Parker, was quite prepared to use a woman sexually without feeling the slightest degree of emotion or commitment for her. However, now that she actually knew William…

She swallowed, wishing that this were all just a dream and that she would wake up and find herself…where? Somewhere that William didn’t exist?

No! Of course not!

Even here, now, when her mind was stricken with guilt and pain, her body was still drawing pleasure and comfort from its closeness to William's. Her body had no conscience, no doubts, no fears. It only knew that it loved William, while her mind, her brain…

"You thought what?" William prompted impatiently. "That I'd demand you make an honest man of me, and so to stop me you invented a non-existent fiancé?" he suggested with faint amusement.

Elizabeth gaped as her gaze returned to his and shook her head immediately. "No…no, of course not," she denied.

He sighed. "Well, if that wasn't the reason, then why did you appropriate your sister's fiancé?"

"I thought you were going to try and make me…" She paused and tried again. "I thought you wanted…"

Oh, for heaven's sake, this was even more difficult that she'd imagined. The words just stuck in her throat, refusing to be uttered.

"You thought that I wanted to make love to you, is that it?" William supplied helpfully.

"Not exactly," Elizabeth admitted quietly. "I've already tried to tell you, I thought you wanted to have sex with me, William," she told him, stressing the words with a distaste she couldn't quite hide. "I thought you'd assumed that because of…of what had already happened, that I'd be only too willing to be your sexual partner."

He was angry now. She could see it in his eyes, in the tightening of his jaw and the small muscle that flickered dangerously there.

"You thought that I…"

"I didn't know you, William," Elizabeth hastened to point out.

"No, you didn't," William agreed curtly. "So why assume that I would behave so…so basely? Did that night really mean so little to you that you could actually think…"

He broke off, so obviously trying to control his anger that Elizabeth felt her guilt increase.

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth whispered contritely. "I misjudged you, I realise that now, but at the time everything you said seemed to confirm my fears. You said you wanted…"

"I said I wanted you," William inserted abruptly. "And I did, but never in the kind of cold-blooded, cynical way you're implying." Removing his arm from around her waist, William flopped back down on the bed and raised a hand to his forehead as he digested her contorted view of his attitude. "Bloody hell, Elizabeth," he muttered unhappily. "You don't have much opinion of my sex, do you? Or is it just me?"

Elizabeth turned her head to look at him feeling bereft of his closeness with even such a tiny gap between them. "No, it isn’t you," she assured him quickly. "On the contrary, the first time we met, you gave me the impression that you didn't have a very good opinion of my sex, William."

When he remained silent, Elizabeth sighed and moved her head to stare up at the ceiling. After her ordeal with Parker, she'd vowed never to speak of him again but she'd gotten this far and the words now seemed to want to be spoken of their own volition. "My experience with men is…was…very limited," she said, quietly. "I fell in love when I was at university and he…Parker…well, I thought he loved me in return, but…he was just using me. He made it more than plain to me that, for men, sex is just a physical appetite, completely divorced from emotion."

William listened to her give him the outline of Parker's betrayal and easily heard the pain that that time still evoked. Taking his hand away from his head, he turned to look at her averted features and felt his annoyance begin to ebb away. Emotionally, they were both so alike.

"For some men, that's very true," he said, drawing her gaze back to his with his words. "And for some women it is too. Dru, my fiancée, was the same. She was sleeping with me, letting me believe she loved me, when in reality…" He stopped and sighed heavily again as the memories of that time threatened to fuel his anger once more.

"She must have hurt you badly," Elizabeth whispered, her heart tightening at the thought of him with the other, faceless woman.

"I thought she did," William murmured back. "And like a fool, I clung to my resentment, telling myself that no one was ever going to hurt me like that again." His voice dropped in timbre and his eyes softened to that tender look she'd see before as he moved his arm and clasped one of her hands under the covers then added meaningfully, "That…I was never going to fall in love again."

Elizabeth’s heart jumped frantically and she felt as if she’d completely lost the ability to breathe. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? But he couldn’t be. It was too unbelievable, too wonderful to be true. No, he was simply talking about his past, nothing more. There was no hidden meaning in his words or his eyes…no matter how much she wanted there to be.

William had hoped that his hint would be enough to spark some kind of reaction out of Elizabeth but, as he watched the expressions cross her face, he knew the moment that denial set in and suddenly reached the end of his frustrated tether.

“God, Elizabeth!” he groaned in exasperation as he sat up and rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. “I’m so bloody tired of these ridiculous games.” He looked back over his shoulder at her, his gaze pleading as he uttered softly, “Just tell me that this thing that happened between us meant as much to you as it did to me.” Keeping his eyes locked with hers, he reclined back slowly then turned onto his side and he rested on his elbow once more. “Just tell me that you want me…” He reached out and gently ran a finger down the side of her flushed cheek, his voice lowering huskily as he added, “…just tell me that…you love me.”

Elizabeth drew in a sharp breath and immediately tensed. His hand caressing her face, his body so close to hers…she wanted nothing more than to throw caution to the wind and do exactly as he’d asked, but she couldn’t. Although the protective walls around her heart were shaking on their very foundations, they were still holding together…just about. She’d been so wrong about Parker that she didn’t trust her own judgement anymore and William hadn’t actually said the words to her, had he?

“Buffy, please,” William entreated as he withdrew his hand and looked at her imploringly. “I can’t go on like this much longer. It’s driving me insane. You’re driving me insane. These past few weeks living close to you, wanting you…believing you belonged to someone else and wanting to hurt him for not looking after you, for not loving you like he should.”

He ran a hand through his already tousled curls and shook his head. “I couldn’t understand why you needed to turn to me for physical satisfaction…why he hadn’t valued and treasured the precious gift you gave to me. All this time and I couldn’t decide who I hated most…him for having your love, you for loving him and not me or myself for loving a woman I couldn’t have.”

He paused and stared intensely at her for a moment knowing that it was his turn to explain his deceit.

“Today, when I discovered the truth…when I found out from Dawn that Connor had never been engaged to you, I told myself that you deserved to be punished for what you put me through. I told myself that, since I already knew you wanted me physically, there must be a way to get you to want me emotionally as well…but I can’t go on with it. Another five seconds in this damn bed with you and I’m going to forget everything I’ve told myself and make love to you which is the last thing I should be doing if you don’t love me as…” He stopped and swallowed hard before saying, “…as, I love you.”

Ignoring her gasp of surprise, William drew in a shaky breath, determined to finish what he had to say before he lost all courage…even if it did end up costing him the love of his life. “So, if there’s no future in what I feel for you, if all you were really doing that night we met was indulging in some…sexual exploration, then tell me now and I’ll get out of this bed and leave you alone. For good.”

If every word he had just uttered hadn’t been raw with emotion and truth, just one look into his eyes would’ve convinced her that this was no game, no clever lie. He loved her. He really did.

The realisation brought an emotional rush of moisture to her eyes and her throat ached so much that she couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell him what was in her heart, couldn’t do anything other than push herself up slightly and place a soft kiss against the rigid outline of his neck.

Eyes rolling shut, William groaned slightly as he succumbed to the feel of her lips moving their way steadily up the column of his throat. God he wanted her…but not like this, not when she hadn’t said anything. Opening his eyes, he used every ounce of willpower to raise his hand then slide his fingers, almost roughly, into her hair before tilting her head back so that he could look at her face.

“I meant what I said, Buffy,” he told her hoarsely. “I won’t…can’t make love to you without knowing if you too, feel the same way as I do.”

Elizabeth stared at his earnest features and felt the wall around her heart begin to crumble away. She knew now that it was time for her to be as completely honest with him and he had been with her. He wasn’t another Parker, she knew that, had known it for a while but just refused to allow herself to acknowledge it. Instead, she’d kept up her barriers and hid behind them because she was too scared to let herself feel again. Too scared of opening herself up and being hurt again. But there was no need to be scared any longer because William loved her.

He loved her!

Gazing into his expressive clear blue eyes, Elizabeth wondered how she ever thought Parker’s lukewarm glances and poor declarations were generated from love. It was all so obvious now and she was mortified that she’d allowed herself to compare William’s and Parker’s actions in any way, shape or form. There was no comparison; William was so much more the better person…the better man.

As the last brick turned to dust, Elizabeth gave William a tremulous smile and said, “Of course I feel the same way as you do, William, I’ve betrayed it a thousand times whenever I’m with you.”

William’s grasp on her head increased slightly as a look of hope flared in his eyes. “You do?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” she confirmed in the same tone.

“Then say it, Buffy. Let me hear you say it so that I know I’m not dreaming,” he ordered gruffly.

Realising that she hadn’t actually said the words as yet, Elizabeth eagerly obliged. “I love you, William,” she said on a whisper as her smile grew tender. “I love you.”

"Oh God, Buffy," he murmured ardently before capturing her lips in a drugging kiss. Elizabeth's arms immediately wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling him closer to her so that his body settled half over hers, pushing her down into the soft mattress.

Again and again their lips met and tongues clashed as the kisses became more and more intense. Removing his hand from her hair, he ran it down her neck and shoulder then further down the front of her body, stopping just short of her breast.

"Please," William suddenly rasped, panting harshly as he broke away from their kiss. "Let me love you, Buffy. Let me show you what I feel."

Elizabeth's eyes were half-closed with passion, her own breathing just as ragged as his. She knew how he felt because she felt it too. In mute supplication, she arched up under him, revelling in the rigid hardness of his entire body.

William let out an involuntary groan then dipped his head and trailed wet kisses down her throat, following the same path his hand had done seconds before. Instead of stopping, however, his mouth continued on until it found the hardened bud of her nipple pushing against its silken confines.

Teasing the nub through the material with his lips, William then used his tongue to flick back and forth across the top causing Elizabeth to gasp loudly as the combined sensation of the silky material and his hot mouth caused a sensuous friction which sent a shockwave of lust throughout her whole system.

William slowly slid his hand down her side over the contours of her body until he reached her thigh then dragged his hand back up again, pulling her nightdress with it to bunch around her waist. As he began to move his hand back down, Elizabeth grabbed hold of it gently causing him to raise his head and look at her questioningly.

"I…I want you…in…inside me," she whispered falteringly. "N-now, William. Please."

William's passion soared at her hesitant request and he nodded briefly. Shifting slightly, he moved to settle comfortably between her legs, his cock, heavy and swollen with need, nestled snugly against the entrance of her womanhood just waiting to be allowed entry.

Resting on his elbow, he moved his free arm down between their bodies then took hold of himself and gently rubbed the head of his member up and down her slick folds, relishing how wet she was for him. William stared down into Elizabeth's eyes, watching her reaction as he probed deeper before slowly pushing forward into her welcoming body.

She drew in a sharp breath then bit her lip and shut her eyes as her tight channel yielded and stretched to accommodate William's rigid length. Never had anything felt so good. So right.

Elizabeth was as hot and as tight as William remembered and he knew he was finally home. "Yessss," he groaned when he was completely sheathed within her, his own eyes rolling shut despite his best efforts to remain looking at her. He waited a few seconds to try and get his ragged breathing and ready body under control. He knew he wasn't going to last long, he wanted her too much for that.

Forcing his eyes open, he saw that she was looking at him with undisguised love and he inhaled deeply. It seemed as if he'd waited forever have her look at him that way…to love him that way.

Still on his elbows, he slid his hands under her back and up so that his fingers curled over the top of her shoulders then began to move his hips. Slowly at first, his tempo soon increased as the need of their coupling overwhelmed the pair of them after having denied themselves for so long.

Reaching down, William tugged at Elizabeth's leg, urging her to wrap it around his waist and making them both groan in renewed pleasure as the new position enabled his long strokes to delve even deeper inside her.

"So good," he muttered, thrusting harder and eliciting a series of appreciative whimpers and moans from Elizabeth who could already feel the oncoming rush of orgasm.

Although their first time together had been wonderful, Elizabeth realised that being in love, and knowing it, enhanced this union of their feelings…their very souls, a thousand-fold. Banding her legs even tighter around his waist, she reached around to grasp the firm cheeks of his buttocks and urged him on further.

Heat was radiating from her core, spreading through her body like wildfire until William and pure sensation were the only things that registered in her fevered mind as she strived to gain completion.

Sensing how near she was, William increased his efforts, surging into her powerfully again and again and again as his own need to climax took over. Groaning harshly with every thrust, he felt her begin to contract around his cock just as his sac tightened in preparation for release.

The hoarse cry of his name rung in his ears as he slammed into her twice more before finally thrusting in as far as he could go, roughly grinding his pelvis against Elizabeth's to draw her pleasure out to the maximum before jerking his head back and letting out his own shout of completion as he emptied himself inside her in rapid, pulsating bursts. "Buffy!"

As they began to calm, William found himself searching Elizabeth's face for any small sign of regret. Her eyes were closed leaving him to wonder what she was feeling. Even after what they'd just shared, there was still a part of him that worried that she might decide to withdraw back into herself.

"I love you, Buffy," he suddenly blurted out, his fervent tone conveying his uncertainty far more than he realised.

Her eyes flickered open upon hearing the undercurrent of insecurity and she gazed at his serious face for a moment before lifting her hand and gently cupped his cheek. "I love you, too, William," she responded, her voice soft, but firm.

A relieved look briefly flitted across the apprehensive man's features before he leaned forward and brushed her lips with his in a featherlight caress. She responded immediately, deepening the kiss into a languid exploration until the need for air eventually forced them to stop.

Gathering Elizabeth into his arms, William lightly kissed her forehead then rolled them over until she lay sprawled across him, smiling lazily. Picking up a strand of her hair, he absently played with it as he gave her a soft smile back.

"Well, I think we can safely say that your devious plan of revenge worked," Elizabeth commented as her finger trailed abstract shapes over his pale chest.

"Of course," he agreed smugly. "Never any doubt."

"Oh, really?" Elizabeth asked as she stilled and raised a sceptical eyebrow.

William looked sheepish for a moment and shook his head. "No…but I hoped."

Elizabeth giggled then leaned forward and kissed him lingeringly. "Well, now you know," she assured him when they finally broke apart.

William smiled and nodded then brushed her hair back from her face to study her delicate features. "You know, our bodies are a hell of a lot wiser than our minds," he said contemplatively. "They knew what we refused to believe…that we fell in love the night we met, Buffy. Since then, we've done everything we can to complicate things. Both of us have clung to our bad memories and used them as barriers against the truth, to deny our feelings and to try and destroy our love." He pulled her closer to him and added throatily. "Thank God it didn't happen."

Elizabeth nodded in agreement and smiled.

"I tried to find you, you know," he told her suddenly. "But because you'd had your car transported and had told me your name was Buffy, it was impossible. I hadn't given up though, I promise you that. I just wanted to get settled before starting to search every blasted village and farm along that bloody road to find out where you were from. I'd have found you too."

Elizabeth chuckled lightly. "I believe you," she told him placatingly and then moved her hand to cover her mouth as she yawned widely. "Sorry, I guess today has taken its toll," she said apologetically. The adrenalin rush that had carried her through all the emotional upheaval she'd been experiencing that day coupled with their energetic lovemaking had left her feeling rather flat and incredibly drowsy all of a sudden.

"Not surprising," William replied, noting the fatigue that had appeared almost instantaneously on her face. "Go to sleep," he ordered as he gently manoeuvred her onto her side and pulled the covers up snugly around them.

Elizabeth snuggled more comfortably into his arms and let herself relax. Almost immediately her breathing evened out and William dropped a light kiss on the top of her head before closing his eyes and joining her in a sleep that would prove to be far more peaceful than he’d had in weeks.

TBC IN CHAPTER 19 - A Little Reassurance