Buffy and Spike first met in the episode "School Hard." Spike's new mission was to kill Buffy. However, Spike seemed to have met his match. Neither of the two seemed to be able to kill one another.
In "Becoming 2" Spike and Buffy made a truce and formed an alliance in stopping Angel from releasing Acathla. After that, Spike left town with Dru, which was part of the deal. Spike said he wouldn't come back, but he once again ended up in Sunnydale heartbroken from the fact that Drusilla left him. He tried to get Willow to perform a spell to make Dru come back to him, but in the end realized that he didn't need her.
Of course, that wouldn't be the last we ever see of the bleached-blonde vampire that we all love. He returned in 4th season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, once again causing havoc in Sunnydale.
Now that Spike had a chip installed in his head from the Initiative, he slowly began working with the Scooby gang. As much as he might hate them, he started helping them out, just as long as he was getting something in return for it.
Over time, although Buffy still thought that Spike was a pig, or just plain old RUDE, the two of them started forming an odd friendship. She was disgusted when she found out that Spike had a MAJOR crush on her, but still accepted him. What changed her mind the most was that he risked his life when Glory tortured him to find out who the key was.
Buffy told Spike to protect Dawn, and Spike responded saying that he promised to protect Dawn forever.
When he saw Buffy's body after she jumped into the portal, Spike showed more emotion that anyone else there. He dropped to his knees, unbelieving what he saw before he cried for the slayer he had lost.
When Buffy is brought back to life at the end of "Bargaining," Spike is the first Scooby Gang member to actually see her.
In the beginning, Buffy hid her experiences from her friends and told Spike. In the first few episodes at least, Buffy and Spike had formed a friendship. It almost seemed that Buffy went to see him when she needed someone to talk to.
However, that all changed at the end of "Once More With Feeling" when Buffy and Spike kissed for the first time. From there, the two began developing their own secret affair. Buffy would use Spike, such as kissing him in the Bronze but refusing to actually confront him about what was starting to happen between the two of them.
At the end of "Smashed," Buffy initiates the first move, and the two wind up sleeping together, bringing a new meaning to "bringing down the house." From there, the two dive deeper into an extremely dark relationship. Buffy is constantly trying to push Spike away while continuing to use him. Her excuse being that she just wants to "feel" something since she can't feel anything in her life.
Buffy knows that what she is doing is wrong; finally, when Riley came back to town, Buffy ended her relationship with Spike and tried to place him behind her.
However, Spike is already fed up with the way Buffy acts. He loves her and she is just using him since he's "convenient." He threatens to tell her friends if she doesn't. Buffy doesn't listen to him and gives him the constant cold-shoulder.
"Seeing Red" was a pivotal moment for the two. In possibly the darkest moment of the whole season shared between these two, Spike attempts to rape Buffy, as if he got too carried away with what he was trying to get out her: to have her admit that she loves him.
Spike realizes what he's done and leaves town. In fact, he leaves the country. Spike goes to Africa in order to "get what the Slayer deserves." However, while Buffy is fighting Willow back in Sunnydale, Spike winds up getting his soul back, creating an interesting cliff-hanger for 7th season.
Spike returns from Africa with his new soul and is insane at first. Buffy has gotten accustomed to living once again and his helping Dawn patrol now. This is how we open up to season 7.
As Buffy and Spike work once again to stop The First, Buffy begins to place more faith in Spike. It's almost as if they are starting over again now that he has a soul and she is no longer living as she was a year ago. Buffy trusts him even when his chip might be triggered to go off, and then she trusts him enough to get the chip removed entirely. Buffy feels that with Spike now having a soul, she might be able to love him. She trusts him and believes in him, which gives Spike the energy to try and stay alive when the First takes him. However, she keeps any notion of her feelings for Spike a secret from everyone else.
Nevertheless, Giles and Robin both notice it. When they team up to try and kill Spike and Buffy places her concern for Spike over everyone else's, it is clear that Buffy has feelings for him. She says that she needs him because he is the only other good fighter they have, but is it really JUST that?
One thing I'd keep in mind is that Spike has always accepted every part of her. When Angel wanted her to be like a normal girl, when Riley wanted her to be less like the slayer, Spike never minded; in fact, he didn't care at all that she was the slayer, he loved the whole package. ("When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you, and it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy." Touched)
Spike is working with his soul to prove to Buffy that he is a good man and earn redemption in her eyes, something that Buffy can clearly see by the later half of the season. Show Buffy slowly opening up. Like I said, she is afraid of being hurt again and wants to make sure that she won't be before giving her heart away again, but by the end of season 7, they have surpassed their harmful relationship they had in 6th season and found real, true love.
At least, that's what this hopeless romantic thinks.
(For more detailed summaries and images, see the Defining Moments)
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