Spike: Home, sweet... (chuckles) home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike: A spell. For me. You're gonna do a spell for me.
Willow: Uh, what kind of spell?
Spike: A *love* spell! Are you brain dead? I'm gonna get what's mine. What's mine. Teach her to walk out on me.
Spike: What are you staring at?
Willow: Nothing.
Spike: You can do it, right? You can make Dru love me again? Make her crawl!
Willow: I-I can try.
Spike: What are you talking about, trying? You'll do it!
Willow: Yes, I'll do it!
Spike: You lie to me, and I'll shove this through your face! You want that?
Willow: No...
Spike: Right through to your BRAIN!
Willow: No, please, no...
Spike: She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?
He pauses for a moment to inhale and exhale deeply.
Spike: It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: Beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a *chaos* demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!
Willow: (Tentatively pats his knee) There, there.
Spike: I mean, friends! How could she be so cruel?
Spike: Mmm. That smell... Your neck... I haven't had a woman in weeks.
Willow: Whoa! No! Hold it!
Spike: Well, unless you count that shopkeeper.
Willow: Now, now, hold on! I-I'll do your spell for you, and, and, and I'll get you Drusilla back, but, but there will be no bottle-in-face, and there will be no 'having' of any kind with me. All right?
Spike: All right. Get started.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The kitchen at the Summers house. Joyce picks up the teakettle from the stove and takes it over to the island, where she pours some into a cup for Spike to make hot chocolate.
Spike: So I'm strolling through the park, looking for a meal, and I happen to walk by, and she's making out with the chaos demon! And so I said, 'You know, I don't have to put up with this.' And she said, 'Fine!' So I said, 'Fine, do whatever you like!' I mean, I thought we were going to make up, you know.
Joyce: Well, she sounds very unreasonable.
Spike: She is. She's out of her mind. That's what I miss most about her.
Joyce: Well, Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other, their lives just take different paths. When Buffy's father and I...
Spike: No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally. You got any of those little marshmallows?
Joyce: Well, lemme look.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike: Look, I just need a few supplies, and then I'll take you to... Oh, God.
Buffy: What's wrong? Not that I care.
Spike: Oh... My head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Oh, God. I wish I was dead.
Buffy: (pulls out a stake) Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard...
Spike: Hey! Back off!
Angel: Buffy, we still need him to find the others.
Buffy: Need him? He's probably just got them locked up in the factory.
Spike: Well, hey, how thick do you think I am?
Buffy: Fine. Can we just get this over with?
Spike: Oh, God.
Angel: Now what?
Spike: We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times. You know, he begged for mercy, and you know, that only made her bite harder.
Buffy: I guess you had to be there.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike: Here's your list.
Buffy: 'Essence of violet, cloves...' Angel?
Angel: Right.
Buffy: 'Set of runic tablets.' Spike can get the rat's eyes.
Spike: I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper.
Buffy: Great. More moping. That's gonna get her back.
Spike: The spell's gonna get her back.
Angel: Lot of trouble for somebody who doesn't even care about you.
Spike: Shut your gob!
Angel: She really is just kind of fickle.
Spike: SHUT UP! What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me. I'm nothing without her.
Buffy: That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser.
Spike: Yeah. You're one to talk.
Buffy: Meaning?
Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
Angel: That's right.
Spike: You're *not* friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. (Points at his temple) Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... (clasps his chest) blood screaming inside you to work its will.
Neither Buffy nor Angel want to hear this.
Spike: *I* may be love's bitch, but at least *I'm* man enough to admit it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Thanks to Romance on BtVS for some of the screen caps!
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