DISCLAIMER: I had a lot to disclaim so I divided into sections.
BtVS/A: These are people we're talking about! People! (Yes, I am so obsessed that fictional characters have become as important as real people to me.) People don't belong to anyone - least of all someone who treats them like Joss. 
Songs: The song 'You must love me' is from the Evita soundtrack, by Andrew Lloyd Webber, sung by Madonna in the 1996 film. I know Angel can't sing! But just imagine that he can, and that his bit is an octave below Buffy's but. I'm not sure if Buffy can sing – but that's the joy of fanfic, I do whatever suits me! 'Rain' is another Madonna song – this time from her 'Erotica' album. I'm a great Madonna fan and did I mention I love storms? 'Full of Grace', 'Do what you have to do' and 'Witness' are all from Sarah Mclachlan's album – I love it so much! All of her songs just scream 'B/A' to me.
Misc: The supposed quatrain of Nostradamus – NOT REAL, although I am sure he did write about the antichrist. Anyway, I just made it up, I needed something spooky and prophetic. Sorry Nostradamus!  To all of these people – thankyou for inspiring me and please do not sue me.

CATEGORY: Angel becomes human (sigh). ANGST – Granny's usual B/A issues.

PAIRING: Need you ask? Have my obsessive tendencies taught you nothing?!?

SUMMARY: Buffy and Angel's future is interrupted by death. 

SPOILERS: This is based on 'Forever' which I had not seen when I started the story because I live in the UK. (the suspense was literally killing me and the other characters in this story who probably suffered because of my sad desperation. <Evil laugh>) It starts with the lines they showed in the promo which someone kindly passed on to me. Oh, and weeks later – I still had not finished the story so I threw in some mild ones for the rest of S5 Buffy as well.

TIMELINE: Buffy S5

RATING: 13 - minor sex/swearing

FEEDBACK: love it., crave it.

DISTRIBUTION: Have it! Please! Out of pity! Just tell me where I can see it – just to make me happy.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Apology: This is a tragedy – yes, Granny's usual cocktail of death, pain and despair, with an especially large dollop of angst. I'm sorry, I know this is BA Fluff, but I just don't think B/A would be B/A without the whole forbidden love thing.

Note: I totally changed the plot. My original one was far too much like one of my other fics – 'Let the Sun Rise' – read and weep. Anyway, after trying hard to work it out, even enlisting the help of plot consultants, I just got stuck and refused to write anymore. To these people, read the dedication! I keep starting these 1/1 fics and having to think up original ideas! My muse has departed, annoyed with the amount of over time with which I burden her and not being paid with enough feedback. Next time I will definitely have to write a series - make the ideas last. This was inspired by something I read in my youth before I became a granny (when I was 13) called 'The Bondmaid' by Catherine Lim which was about this servant girl who loved her master but in vain. She died at the end - in her lover's arms during a storm.  I'm really sorry I'm obsessed with weather conditions, sunrise, and other naturey things. 
Thoughts are in <<*>>
Stressed words are expressed: * *

DEDICATION: To my two lovely plot consultants! I'm sorry I did not use all of your ideas, but I am funny like that. Anyway, I just want to say a big 'Thankyou' for all your help!

'Because my mother died? Yeah, I get it. I'm shallow, I'm self-involved. I'm sorry. Is that better? So what, I just hold my head up high, swallow my tears and poke a pointy stick through a few more unbeating hearts?'

'No one said you shouldn't grieve...'

'No, you're right. You see your theory is - Hey Buffy, just shed a few tears in my comforting leather jacket and you'll be as good as new. It's not going to happen Angel. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want this. I'm tired of coming home exhausted and having to deal with monsters jumping out from under my bed. I'm sick of being the chosen one, and most of all
I *hate* losing everyone I love because of it. I don't want to be the Slayer anymore.'

'Buffy - you shouldn't say that.'

A dangerous light shone in Buffy's eyes; she had never had any time for words like 'You should' or 'You must.' Now they were coming from the person whose opinion she valued over everyone else's. Something in her snapped. 

'Oh no? Watch me.'

Facing the black sky, she shouted at the top of her voice 'Hey you! Up there! Powers That Be do you call yourselves? Get this. Buffy Summers speaking. I don't want your stupid job! I don't want this crappy sacred duty! I don't want to be your little puppet anymore! I want a normal life. Do you understand? This is my letter of resignation. Take back your stupid powers, I don't want them. Give me what I want for a change.' 

She paused to look at Angel. 'Let me be with the person I love.'

Her words seemed to reverberate in the sky. As soon as the echo died out, Angel felt a pang in his chest. It was sudden, and unexpected; he fell to the ground.

'Angel!' Buffy ran towards him. Angel lifted his face to look up at her, fear and awe glinting in his eyes.

'What's the matter? Angel, are you OK?'

Slowly, Angel stood up, and looked around, as if to ascertain what he thought had happened wasn't some sort of surreal dream.

'Angel?'

'I'm human.'

The words didn't seem to register. Buffy blinked, her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped. Her eyes searched his face for some hint of insincerity, and found none. Anyway, Angel would never joke about this.

Trembling, her hand found its way to his chest. There it was, the thump thump that she had longed to hear so often.

Trying to catch him unawares, Buffy struck out her fist to punch him, but he easily caught it. She tried to do a kick but he simply dodged it. She looked around for something to break, something hard, a feat only a slayer could accomplish. There was nothing but the tree. She searched around on the floor, frantically, until she found a sizeable piece of bark that had fallen from the tree. She held it against her knee, and pressed on both sides with all the strength she possessed. 

The bark didn't break.

She tried again and again, until blood appeared on her hands and tears flowed, unheeded, down her cheeks. 

'I can't break this, Angel. I can't break...this bark - it shouldn't be that hard...I can't understand why...'

Angel understood, and he knew that she did too. He approached her slowly, carefully, and easing the bark from her bloodied hands, he gently enfolded her in his embrace. 

Buffy stood still, letting him hold her, tears still streaming down her cheeks. For the first time she could remember she heard the beat of his heart, and again was reminded of the bloody mess that small piece of bark had made of her hands.

'I didn't mean...I was only...' she sobbed, unable to form more words.

Angel only held her, not saying a word.

Part 1 

'So, Angel and I came to the conclusion that the Powers That Be had taken my words in a moment of grieved frenzy *seriously* and so they took away my powers and in exchange they made Angel human.'

Buffy could tell they were devastated. She could also tell that they were trying not to show it, but the look on their faces, one of blind fear and disbelief, was enough to convince her.

Giles couldn't think of anything to say. 

<<I should be happy for her>> he thought to himself, after all, isn't this what she always wanted? A normal life? But he couldn't help thinking <<What about the rest of us?>>

And still, another question remained. Would she ever be able to have a normal life?

Angel felt Buffy's hand grow tense in his grasp, and he tightened his hold on it reassuringly. She would get through this. She may have lost her physical strength, but she was still Buffy.

'I'm guessing no one will be popping the cork from the champagne bottle.'

'No, no Buffster man! Yeah, we're all...' Xander started out awkwardly, but was at a lost for words.

'...happy! Yeah, we're all really happy for you Buffy! This is a good thing, I mean, it's what you always wanted...right?' Willow continued.

'I thought it was.'

'No, no it is! That's why we're all happy! Happy! See the smiling, the clapping and the exhilaration!' Willow didn't want to give up. She could tell Buffy felt bad, and Willow knew how it felt to be guilty because you thought you'd let everyone down. 'This could be the best thing that's ever happened to you! Now you're done with the slaying, you can do all sorts of things! You can go and watch a movie instead of creeping around in cemeteries, you can stop having all those horrible nightmares about monsters and evil things...'

'You could try law enforcement.' Spike grinned, but was ignored.

'Or you could become a demon. I know it's awfully big of me to say this but I'm sure t'Hoffarin would be really glad to have a sla...no sorry that's an ex-slayer on his team. All that blood and death, I'm sure you'd enjoy it. You've certainly got experience. There are just too many witches aspiring to be a demon nowadays, that whole chosen one thing could really give you a head start. Give it a thought.'

'Call me crazy Xander but I don't really want Buffy to become a fiend to all men. Anya - we're having a crisis here!'

'This is a crisis? Is this a crisis? Because I didn't think...' Buffy stood up, suddenly nervous.

She was interrupted by Anya. 'I wasn't a fiend. Do you think I'm a fiend?' Xander threw his hands up in defeat.

'No, this is not a crisis Buffy. I've never heard of the powers relieving a slayer of her duties while she was still living...'

'Giles - cut the history?'

'But I'm sure that this won't affect the world. Another slayer will be called and even if this didn't happen there's always...'

'Locked up psycho maniac slayer who at the first opportunity will undoubtedly rip your heads off? Great back-up plan.' Spike remarked.

'Spike, the last thing we need is more wood on the fire so unless you have anything constructive to say I suggest you desist from speaking until such time as...'

'Just shut up Spike,' said three voices simultaneously.

Giles looked up, irritated. 'I was getting to the point you know. I'm not a 'fuddy-duddy' like you all think I am. I'll have you know...'

'Look, can we just get back to the *crisis* as you all seem to think it is?'

'No we didn't think...I mean, it's not that...it's just a bit of a shock, that's all,' said Willow, finally.

Giles walked over to Buffy and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. 'It will be alright.'

Then Angel spoke for the first time.

'It's not too late. There's a way to get Buffy her powers back. There's got to be a channel to the Powers That Be. We can find a way.'

'But wait,' Willow said, 'wouldn't that mean you'd lose your humanity?'

The whole room turned to look at him. Angel could feel their eyes, especially Buffy's, searching his face for some sign of what he was feeling. After 245 years of hiding his emotions, Angel was a pro. His face was like a blank sheet of paper, but his heart was screaming inwardly as his mouth formed his next words.

'It doesn't matter.' 

Buffy looked at him earnestly. 

'You're wrong. It does matter. I know how much this means to you, and I'm not going to get my powers back if it means taking away from you the one thing you wanted the most.' 

'I think you two need to talk about this.' Willow stood up and headed for the door.

'Yeah. You have issues.' Xander added.

'If you're going to have an argument, I'm popping out for popcorn.' Spike was silenced by a deadly glare from Buffy.

'Yes, so we'll be off,' said Giles.

'Be good, and don't have sex! Or is that different? Are you allowed to have sex now? Because if you are I could give you some great advice! You know...' Anya offered.

'Bye Anya.' 

'No need to be touchy.' Anya frowned before she was propelled out of the door by Xander.

Angel and Buffy were left alone in the room. The air was tense, and neither wanted to break the silence. They stood so for some minutes. 

It was Buffy who spoke first.

'I'm glad this happened, for your sake you know.'

'I don't deserve it.'

'The Powers That Be seem to disagree.'

'Either way, it's not meant to be.'

'How do you know?'

'I can't be human if it means taking something away from you.'

'Something I denounced and *asked* to be taken from me?'

'You didn't mean it. You were angry. You regret it.'

'Not for what it did to you. This is what you wanted, isn't it?'

Angel didn't want to answer. For her sake, he couldn't let her know how much his heartbeat meant to him. He wanted desperately to touch her, now that any taboo between them had been removed, but he suppressed the desire. 

<<She's grieving>>, he thought, <<I'd be taking advantage>>.

'You're human. Sorry, it's just taken a while for the thought to sink in. It's good that I didn't dream about you being human only about ten zillion times because today would have been a real let down.'

Angel winced as he recognised her words. She couldn't feel the same way now, after so long? He couldn't afford to allow himself to hope. Hope meant disappointment, and he'd had enough of that in his life.

'Maybe I should be confused. Yeah, that would make sense, with the whole world being turned up side down thing, but I'm not.'

Angel felt his mouth drying up.

'You know, maybe it's because this is only what I've dreamed about every other night for the past 5 years of my life. I'm kinda wondering when it's going to move on to the part that has me not wanting to wake up – ever.'

Buffy edged closer and closer, not removing her eyes from his face.

'Buffy…' Angel started, but couldn't think of any words.

'I can remember the last time you touched me. I wonder if it would be different, now your hands are warm.' Buffy said quietly, desire pressing slightly on her throat.

'I mean, it's not like it's wrong anymore, is it? We might as well...if the Powers really want to give me what I want...'

Angel closed his eyes and tried to push back the ache for her he had always felt, magnified tenth fold by her proximity. Damn it, he could smell her, taste her even...but he couldn't. He had to be strong, for her sake.

<<I couldn't do it, if I woke up with you just one more morning...>>, his own words came back to him. They were as true now as they had ever been. If he let something happen here, he would never have the strength to give her up again.

'Buffy...we can't...' Angel tried to think of something more convincing to say, but failed, at a loss for words.

'Why not?'

Angel couldn't answer her.

'Angel if you can't give me a good reason, then I guess I can only assume that you don't want...to be with me.' Angel had the power to either break her heart or make this the happiest day of her life, and he was fully aware of it.

It took all the strength he possessed to say his next words.

'I don't…want to. Not here, not now.'

Buffy looked at him for a moment, something like devastation glistening in her eyes, but no tears would come. Then slowly, she turned, and quietly walked out of the shop. The absurdly jovial jingling of the bells announced her departure. 

He had hurt her, and he knew it. Angel knew she had always been insecure about her relationships, and even if she hadn't been, his words were enough. Angel cursed himself for being so insensitive – he just couldn't find the right words to tell her how he felt.

How did he feel?

Part 2

What ravages of spirit
conjured this tempestuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love

Angel sat alone in the Magic shop, thinking.

She wanted him. He wanted her, badly. There was no denying it. So why?

And fate has led you to it
you do what you have to do
And fate has led you to it
you do what you have to do

Angel knew why. He remembered the last time he had given in to her embrace; it had been the happiest day of his life, and also the most painful memory he had had to bear, alone.

The day that never happened. Countless nights, he had lain awake in bed, questions and regrets plaguing his mind. That was what had come of trusting humanity, trusting the Powers That Be. 

Angel was afraid. Afraid to risk his sanity again, and also afraid, that this time, it may not only be him who would bear the burden. There were still a million and one ways Buffy could be hurt if Angel were to lose his resolve. He might be obliged to leave, just like before, and he didn't want to put Buffy through that again.

And also, he doubted whether he would be strong enough to give her up for the world again. Last time, it had been the most difficult decision he had ever had to make. This time, it would be downright impossible.

Then there was the world. Yes, always, the tiresome, troublesome world for which both had risked their lives and sacrificed their happiness on several occasions. If the salvation of the world depended on Angel leaving Buffy, he wasn't sure he would be able to do that.

Then there was still the loss of her powers. If the only way for Angel to remain human, was for Buffy to sacrifice her powers, Angel wasn't really sure if it was worth it. What if they were to…and then he lost his humanity?

Yes, there were a million and one reasons. The problem was, Buffy didn't understand. All she knew was that Angel didn't want to be with her.

Angel had to explain, but how? The best way would be to tell her about…

But no, he couldn't. How would she live with it? He couldn't condemn her to all that pain and longing. On the other hand, he couldn't let her think that he didn't *want* to be with her. It was the only way.

With a sigh, Angel rose, and left by the sewer by which he had come.

And I have the sense to recognise
that I don't know how to let you go. 
I don't know how to let you go.

'I know you're there.'

Buffy sat in the swing in the playground. Angel emerged from behind her.

'You don't have to lurk.'

'Sorry. Habit.'

'Yeah, I get that.'

Angel sat down on the swing next to her.

'Listen, Buffy…'

'It's OK. You don't have to apologise.'

'I don't want to apologise. I just want a chance to explain.'

'I'm listening.'

'I don't think we should rush into things. Not that I don't want to rush…believe me, I do, but there are some things that you don't know.'

'Like what?'

'You don't remember this, but this isn't the first time I've been human.'

'You mean when you were young? Before you were a vampire?'

'No. This was about a year and a half ago.'

'What?'

'Like I said, you don't remember. It was after I came to Sunnydale to help you with the Shumash Indians. Afterward, you came to LA and we were in the middle of talking when we were attacked by a Mohra demon.'

'I remember…you killed it and I left.'

'The second time.'

'What?'

'That's what I'm trying to explain. What you remember is what happened the second time the day happened.'

'How?'

'I went to the Oracles and asked them to turn the day back.'

'The Oracles?'

'They represent the Powers That Be.'

'Why?'

A glowing ember 
burning hot, burning slow
deep within I'm shaken 
by the violence of existing 
for only you

Angel took a deep breath. He had gone too far to back away now.

'The first time the day happened, I didn't kill the demon when it attacked us. It escaped, so you and I, we tracked it for a while, but then we spilt up. I found the demon, and killed it, but some of its blood mixed with mine…and I became human. I told you…and we…and we made love. It was the best day of my life. But then, Mohra returned; I nearly got killed fighting it, but you saved me just in time. He said that more would come. I went to the Oracles. They said that lives would be lost, including yours, if I remained human. So I asked them to turn the day back, so that I could kill Mohra before its blood made me human. Nobody else would remember.'

'And you didn't tell me about this?'

'No, and you must understand Buffy, why I made that decision. When I told you, before the day was turned back, what was going to happen, you asked me 'How am I supposed to go on with my life? Knowing what we had? What we could have had?' I knew that I couldn't tell you. It would mean too much pain. And you had enough to deal with.'

'So why tell me now?'

'I want you to know, I mean, I want you to understand. I don't want us to rush…we don't know what the Powers That Be have in store for us. I don't want to be with you if it means both of us getting hurt again. And now that the Oracles are gone, there's no way we can know…'

Angel paused.

'Do you understand? I have to know it's right – that you won't get hurt again.'

Buffy nodded silently, tears sliding down her cheeks. Angel raised one hand, and wiped the tears away. Buffy looked up at him, her lips trembling, and threw herself into his arms.

I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do.
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do.

Angel held her silently as she wept. Sharing the burden of the day that had been the happiest and most painful of his life had lifted a huge weight off his heart. He just hoped that he had done the right thing.

'I'll wait. I'll wait forever.' Buffy sobbed.

Angel held her tighter. The two made a strange picture, Angel sitting in a swing, Buffy half sitting on another, clinging to each other like children. The night was calm. It seemed as if they were the only two people in the world. 

And as far as they were concerned, they were.

And I have the sense to recognise
that I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.

Part 3 

'So, a new slayer's already been called?'

'Yes, apparently. In Washington in fact. It seems that the new President is of demon origin, and aspires to take over the world.'

'That's…that's scary you know. One man, all that power?' Willow mused.

'Well, I say good luck to her. I hope she has fun with the job.'

'You're not going to try to get your powers back?' Willow turned to her friend.

'I'm happy with my lot now. I mean, it was a bit weird to start off with, but I'm getting used to this normal life thing. After all, it's what I've always wanted, and there's gotta be a reason why the Powers are giving it to me, right? And demon activity in Sunnydale has been real low, and even if I don't have slayer powers, we can still fight, right? I mean, Giles with his super watchy knowledge and Will, with your lethal witchy power, we'll be alright, won't we?'

Willow nodded, smiling. 'Yep, we certainly will.'

'And then Angel can always help out if we come up against some real big evil.'

'Like Glory.'

'Like Glory.' Buffy repeated, looking over at Dawn who was sleeping peacefully on the couch.

'I'll stay in Sunnydale until you defeat her.'

'I was thinking more along the lines of 'we' defeating her.' 

'That's what I meant. I'll be here for you as long as you want me.'

Willow smiled, Giles smiled, Xander and Anya smiled, and Dawn smiled unconsciously in her sleep.

And Buffy smiled, for the first time since her mother died.

Make me a witness.
Take me out of darkness, 
out of doubt.

Buffy walked nervously along the pavement towards the cinema. She glanced at her watch. It was way too early – there was still a half hour until Angel was supposed to meet her. Imagine that, Angel taking her to a movie. The last time had been two years or maybe three…whatever, it had been too long.

Walking past the mansion, she felt a sudden urge to enter and relive some memories. Angel was staying at his old apartment, and the mansion was empty. She decided to go ahead; after all, she had some time to kill.

Pushing open the old door cautiously, she stepped inside.

I won't weigh you down,
with good intention.
Won't make fire out of clay
or other inventions.

The place was exactly the same as it had been when Angel had lived here, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

She walked into the centre of the hall, where Acathla had once stood. Closing her eyes, she let the memories flood.

This was where she had fought with Angelus to save the world.

This was the spot where she had stood when Angel had regained his soul just before she was to send him to hell. 

The fireplace. Buffy remembered Tai chi, training, endless kissing, and awkward moments where the frustration of not being able to express their feelings physically would seep to the surface.

The bed. A peaceful night in her boyfriend's arms, but not her lover's, never her lover's. That was the night before he had told her that he planned to leave her.

Then the other night she had spent by his side. The other, when both their lives had hung in the balance. The night she had given him her life to save his.

Will we burn in heaven?
Like we do down here.
Will the change come
while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.

She stepped out of the back door, and saw the same lonely spot on the top of the hill. One could see the
whole of Sunnydale from there, not that there was much to see, of course.

She walked slowly up to it. The place spoke of a time she had tried to convince him that his was a life worth living, a time when amends had been made. 

She breathed in the air, and remembered.

<<Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous  man? The world wants me gone!

Buffy: What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to  make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's *so* hard... and that you can hurt me *so* much. 

I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't>>

And when we're done soul searching
as we carried the weight
and died for a cause.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a noise behind her. Buffy had a feeling she was not alone. 

'Hello?' she called, turning around.

'Angel?' she tried again, hopefully. However, fear crept up her spine; it wasn't Angel.

Her eyes focused on a shape which emerged out of the bushes.

'Who are you?' she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

The moonlight fell on the face of a strangely familiar vampire.

'Gee Buffy, I could never have guessed that your memory was as crap as your performance in bed. Well, what can I say – you're a disappointment.'

'Parker?' Buffy whispered, scarcely believing her eyes. 'What happened to you?'

'You know, your skull is really a lot thicker than a I gave you credit for. I guess you are a real blond after all. You, of all people, should be able to tell an undead guy when you see one.'

'What do you want?' Buffy started backing away. She couldn't deal with this, not now, not without her powers.

'Oh, you know what I want. The soul maybe gone but the lust certainly isn't. It's my turn to be on top.' For every step she took back, Parker took one step closer.

'Get away from me. Or I'll…'

'Or you'll what? Kill me? What do you take me for, some kind of idiot? The news is all over town. Buffy the vampire slayer isn't all that slayer anymore. Face it blondie, I've got the upper hand now.'

Buffy started to run. Parker blocked her way back to the mansion, so she had no choice but to run into the trees. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. It was dark, it had begun to rain, heavily, the ground sunk beneath her feet and the branches snatched at her, but she ran.

However, her speed had departed along with her strength. In no time, Parker had caught up, and was on top of her. His face had returned to normal. Buffy screamed. Parker only laughed. 

'Scream as loud as you want, it's not like anyone can hear you here. You chose to run in the remotest area possible. I'm beginning to think you're trying to make this too easy for me. Admit it: you want me, don't you?'

'I'd rather die.' Buffy spat, teeth clenched.

'Granted. But first…'

He vamped out, and began to tear at her sweater with his free hand. Buffy beat and scratched at him as hard as she could, but it was no use. He was too strong.

<<This is it.>> she thought.

Suddenly, Buffy felt Parker's weight lifted off her body.

Dazed, she sat up to find Parker fighting with a very angry Angel. Parker was definitely the stronger of the two, but he didn't have Angel's experience, or his anger. Within minutes, Parker was dust.

Angel staggered over to her.

'Buffy? Are you…'

'He nearly…'

'I know. He's gone. You're alright.'

Buffy didn't answer. Then she looked across at Angel, taking in the cuts and bruises on his face, and finally letting the tears fall.

Is misery made beautiful
right before our eyes?
Will mercy be revealed
or blind us where we stand?

'I can't be without you. I can't.'

The lovers came together in a desperate embrace. The rain continued to beat down on them, and the wind continued to howl. Buffy buried her head deeper into Angel's soaked jacket as streak of lightning momentarily lit up the sky, and was followed by the low cackling of thunder.

'Promise you'll never leave me,' she sobbed, her throat choked by tears.

'I promise,' he answered, wrapping his arms more tightly around her.

'I was so scared...'Buffy whispered.

'I know.' Angel replied, not wanting to imagine what would have happened had he not arrived in time.

'Kiss me Angel, here, now?'

Angel looked down at her face; her eyes beseechingly fixed on his, her lips eagerly upturned, and his resolve came down about their heads.

He kissed her with a need he had never felt before. His hands, driven by the urge to be one with her finally, after all the shattered hopes, ripped away her drenched sweater, and tore impatiently at her mud splattered trousers. She did the same, pulling down his jacket and shirt, and struggling with his belt now her former strength had departed. 

All the time, they kissed each other, urgently, desperately; full of the longing they had had to bear ever since the night of her seventeenth birthday. Two hearts beat frantically as water, mud and skin mixed and tangled, and soon became one form. 

And it was there, amidst the rain, the wind, the mud of the forest floor and the rumble of lightening and thunder around them, that they came together. In the throes of passion, they cried out silently, in unison, their voices drowned out by the ravages of the storm.

Will we burn in heaven?
Like we do down here.
Will the change come
while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.

Go to Part 4