Pairing: Buffy/Angel angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and co. I only own the plot.
Story Summary: Buffy thoughts after Sanctuary.
Authors Note: Krissy said that Buffy should feel guilty, well here is her POV and companion piece "Never Far From Thy Heart"
Feedback: Pretty please...

My heart feels like someone squeezed it dry. Everytime I see Angel, I feel guilty. Everyone thinks that I've moved on, truth is that I have not ever completely gotten over him.

All it seems I do is feel guilty. I could have handled the whole Faith scenario better than I did. I acted like a petulant two year old kid. Then there's Riley. I say I love him, but it's meaningless.

Angel was right about one thing, that I have no right to intrude into his life anymore. He was wrong to assume that I have moved on.

Riley is nice and all, but he will never be Angel. Every time, he touches me, I feel dirty. Like I've betrayed the memory of what me and Angel were. There's sex, but it's not true intimacy.

Angel knew where to reach me through my heart and soul. God, why do I always end up feeling like a slinky. Back and forth with no real answers. Any feelings I'm feeling, you have got to push back.

There's no room for me in Angel's life. Then again, he was the one who pushed me away. Why do I still love him?

Maybe it's because my heart knows better. That's my guilty heart.

Send feedback to Grace Fonesca

Back to the Fanfiction Archive