Rating: PG
Spoilers: I guess up to "Buffy" S4 and "Angel" S1
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, they belong to
Joss Whedon, Fox, WB
Distribution: Please ask first
Dedication: To Isa, Sarah, Adia, Coleen, Copper, Cutie34856,
Michelle, Ducks and Amanda~~without of you, I might not have written
this =)
Author's Note: The title is one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs.
If you are interested in hearing it, it is on their great album
"Rumours". Please go easy on me, although I have been giving ideas
to friends for some time, this is my first story. I'm not sure if I
should continue it. Oh and this is based on an idea that I had a
while back that is some what like the Challenge I sent out a couple
of weeks ago.
Angel pondered over the file in his hand—a slime demon had attacked another homeless person. Putting the file away to read a little, he smiled at the sounds of Cordelia and Wesley with their nearly year old Hannah. The couple had fruitlessly been trying to get her to walk. "Ang…Ang…" Hannah gurgled as she crawled into Angel's office, demanding his attention. The baby clapped as the vampire scooped her up into his arms while Cordelia ran to answer the phone. "You're so good with her, you know?" Wes observed from the doorway while Hannah played with the picture that was in the binder of Angel's book.
"Uh…Angel?" Cordelia had tears in her eyes; "the phone…um the phone is for you" the last part whispered. Handing the baby to her daddy, Angel picked up the phone. Wesley watched as his boss' face changed from surprise at the identity of the caller, to terror, and finally to blind grief over the situation. Hanging up the phone, Angel's eyes were filled with unshed tears "she's at rest now" said with eerie calmness. Without warning, the strong-willed, fearless Angel broke down sobbing like a cracked child. Cordelia swiftly moved to her best friend's side, holding his big form until his sobs subsided. "Why didn't I feel it…I should have felt it!"
The staff of Angel Investigations arrived at the home of Rubert Giles around 8:30 that night. "Ah…Angel, Cordelia, Wesley…so good to see you all. I only wish it were under different circumstances." Just then noticing Hannah, "now who is this little darling?" Angel's assistants smiled as they talked about their bundle. Giles noticed that Angel was sitting on the couch staring out into space. "Angel, Buffy made this before…well", handing him a video, "we'll just leave you alone to watch it. We are heading over to Joyce's, everyone is there; just head over there when you are done". Still staring, Angel just nodded his head. Popping in the tape, he sat gazing upon his beloved's face that looked to be sitting in her old bedroom.
"Hi, I am making this tape as my divorce is becoming final. I needed to make sure that everything is taken care of in the case that my stint as the slayer expires. First off Angel, I never meant to hurt you that night. I only went to you for guidance, and as I woke up in your arms, I pondered what I had just done. It's not every day that you sleep with your soul mate less than a week before your wedding to another man. I was freaked, I guess. So I left, intending to never look back. Not knowing what would come of my selfish actions."
Angel was remembering that night as well…it was glorious and dream-like. He never wanted it to end. The next morning, as he woke and found her gone, he slowly realized that she possibly would never come back to him.
"When the doctor told me I was pregnant, I was thrilled and a little scared. Riley was beaming. Everything was going great. Avery Irene was born on February 14, 2002. Yep, a Valentine baby. The first thing about her I noticed was her dark hair, like my natural color and she had the darkest brown eyes I have ever seen. Neither Riley nor I have dark eyes so we both just chucked it up to an ancestor or something. Over the course of time, we started to see other things that caught our parental attentions. She learned to walk and talk earlier than her peers. One thing that upset Riley was that she never called him `daddy'. Oh she could say the word, but she would only call him `Riley'. I came home one day to find my baby girl, at the tender age of 2, crying. She had hugged her doll so hard that its arm ripped off. She is that strong Angel, and it broke my heart; she didn't know how to control it. Another thing was when I would pick her up at the day-care, she would be already ready to go, by the time I got there. I would walk into the building and she would be sitting in a chair in the front office with all her belongings in her backpack. The ladies there said that she would start to collect her things around ten minutes before I would walk through the door. I never came at the same time of the day either. I once sat Avery down and asked her about it and she pointed to her chest and said, "it told me you were coming". She can feel me, just like you and I could feel each other whenever the other was near. But the one incident that confirmed my suspensions was when I came into the day-care center and she was sitting in the front office, like she always does, but she was crying. She had apparently bitten another child, making two small holes in the boy's arm. Riley went crazy, demanding if I ever had an affair. He knew that Avery could not be his. I confessed, hoping that my loving, understanding husband would be forgiving of me. Hoping that his love for Avery and I would overshadow his jealousy over you and that MAYBE he wouldn't leave us. Well I was just asking for too much. He promptly started proceedings on divorcing me, telling me that he was leaving Sunnydale altogether. "
Absorbing all of this heartbreaking, bittersweet information, Angel sat there stunned listening to Buffy's confession of the existence of the child that they shared. Silent tears ran down his face as he took in her plight.
"Yes Angel, she is your daughter. Created out of the purest of loves and I am assuming, has a great destiny ahead of her. I so want to tell you, I am so ashamed of how I behaved after she was conceived. I swear, if I had known all of this was going to happen, I wouldn't have left your arms that morning. And if I had known that she was yours sooner, I would have contacted you on her existence. I am also a little leery of rushing with you into the picture so soon after Riley. I am making this tape in case something happens before I have a chance to tell you. I also had a will drawn up. As of now, Angel, upon my death, you will get sole custody of our daughter, Avery, who just turned 3. I'm sorry if you have to watch this. Please know that I will always love you. I know you will do right in raising her. Goodbye my Angel, take good care of our little girl."
Shock was an understatement at how Angel felt after the viewing of Buffy's video. He opted to walk to her old home, the house that held so many memories of her for him, pondering thoughts on his daughter. "What does she look like?" "Will she like me?""Do I deserve the happiness that I am sure she will bring me?" These were just some of the vampire's jumbled thoughts. Upon entering the house, he was greeted by Willow. Walking further into the house, Angel could see Giles and Oliva talking softly with Joyce. Coming from the living room were the sounds of delightful squeals of a little girl riding on Xander's back. Just then, the child tapped Xander's shoulder, asking him to let her down. Angel sat down on the couch as the toddler walked over to him, stopping just short of reaching his lap. Avery looking at the strange man curiously, climbed on to the couch, sitting herself in his lap. Angel's joy at seeing her was making his eyes water. She placed her hands on his cheeks and looked into his eyes, "daddy" she whispered so softly that he would not have heard it had he been human. The little girl, just then, clutched her daddy, crying. Comforting her, he whispered loving endearments in her ear.
Opting to spend the morning with Avery instead of attending the funeral. Just being near his daughter seemed to give him strength that he thought, without Buffy, he wouldn't have. Playing board games and reading her children's stories instead of putting himself and his child through the service. Later in the afternoon, the house was filled with mourners paying their respects to Joyce. Some asking what will come of Avery. The girl in question was clutching her father. Angel was standing, talking with Oz, with Avery in his arms, her head lying lazily on his shoulder. It was then that she noticed a baby girl across the room being held by her daddy. Avery remembered seeing the baby earlier, before her father arrived. The little one looked over at Avery solemnly and waved a chubby hand at her. Seeing this kindness, she waved back at Hannah.
*********************
In the two weeks since Avery came into her father's life, time had been spent getting the toddler settled in. Angel's apartment resembled much like the one he had had that blew up with the rest of the building all of five years ago, but with the added bonus of having two extra rooms. With generous backing from Mr. Nabbitt, the new building also had an office that towered the first, big enough so that Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn could have their own desks.
The two extra rooms down in the apartment were serving as a guest bedroom for whenever one of Angel's assistants needed to crash or a client needed a place to stay and a wreck room where Angel trained in a nice open space. Naturally he transformed the guest bedroom into a delightful getaway for his daughter. He found that she had been exposed to Charlie Chaplin's silent shorts, the black and white slapstick making her giggle intoxicatingly. So as a centerpiece above her bed's headboard, he placed a framed poster of the 1921 film "The Kid". The rest of the bedroom was a mixture of new and old. From Buffy's old bedroom in Sunnydale they got Mr. Gordo and the lamps with the upside down shades and while shopping with Cordy, they got `Charlie', a teddy bear with dark red shag fur & an antique cherry wood vanity complete with stool. In the wreck room, Angel added things here and there for the room to double as a playroom for Hannah and Avery.
Getting to know a toddler was a challenge for the vampire. She liked Cherry 7UP, pickles, Cheerios, and the color red, but she hated peas, the color yellow, and country music. He was also slowly learning that although she looked and sounded like a three year old, she had the mentality of a five or six year old. Another item that was acquired with Avery was a pet. A pet was something new to the new father; he had never had one. Buffy had apparently gotten the black cat for their daughter shortly after the divorce. `Edgar', who had his own bed in Avery's room, was a character. The feline never seemed to `meow', but would `chirp' on occasion. All of this new way of life, Angel was taking in one day at a time, slowly trying to heal his broken heart that his beloved's death had brought him.
One addition that the men of Angel Investigations added to the office to benefit the girls was in the coat closet in the outside office. Seeing as how numerous bad guys have gotten into the building, they made it so that the back wall of the closet could be pushed open to a little room on the other side. Where Avery and Hannah could hide until the danger passed, giving the illusion that the baby and toddler had disappeared into the closet.
Avery seemed to enjoy her father's company, loving when he would read to her the fairy tales of Ireland, slipping into an Irish brogue in the process. The little girl learned very early of what her daddy was. When his face shifted out of anger over a case, he at first thought he had scared her, but she soon giggled, kissing his cheek saying that mommy had told her not to be afraid of daddy's "scary face". Most early mornings, when Angel would go to sleep, Avery would climb into his bed with him at times. She also loved to draw, which is what she was doing when Kate entered the office.
Angel Investigations had been quiet that day, with the baby asleep in her playpen next to her mother's desk. Angel was leaned back in his chair reading with Avery on his lap engrossed in her "masterpiece". Every now and then, her daddy would run his hand through her wavy, brown hair.
"Hi", the vampire looked up from his book to see the officer. Over the years, Kate had come to slowly accept the weird around her. Angel regarded her with cool, "hey, how are you?" "I'm alright. You seem busy" indicating the child in his lap. "Honey daddy needs to speak with Kate. Will you see if Cordelia needs help with Hannah?" Avery nodded, kissing his cheek as she went. "Boy I guess you have been busy" Kate joked lightly.
Angel then turned around his new addition to his desk, a picture of Buffy and Avery taken in the park in Sunnydale. "Do you remember her? She was with me when you arrested me for that Faith thing. I said she was `nobody'" Kate nodded her head, taking it all in.
Angel sighed, "the word `nobody' is so far from the truth. She was the love of my life, my soul mate, and my other half. I first laid eyes on her when she was called to be the vampire slayer at the age of 15 and I have been in love with her ever since, which is close to ten years now. There were obstacles in our relationship that never really aloud us to be happy together. Close to four years ago, she came to me, telling me of her engagement; the wedding was in a couple of weeks. She came for advice, wanting to know if she was making a mistake. I guess she wanted to hear me tell her to come back to me, not to marry him. But that would have been selfish of me. Even while we were making love later, I still did not give my opinion of the upcoming marriage. I guess I was hoping that my actions would speak for me. I guess she needed to hear the words. Either way, she left me the next morning. I had not heard much from Sunnydale until a couple of weeks ago when I got the call that my love had lost a battle."
Kate listened with saddened amazement.
"I had gotten her pregnant that night, Buffy herself, not realizing the baby was mine until Avery was two, her husband quickly leaving her. I wish I could have been there for her…maybe my Buffy may have still been alive if I was there. Who knows, huh? So Kate, that is how I now have a precocious toddler living with me." As Angel had been relaying the past, he had started to softly cry. As if she could feel her father's pain, Avery walked into the office, climbing into her daddy's lap, once again, kissing his cheek, "don't cry daddy". At the display of affection between father and daughter, Kate smiled wishing that she and her father had had more tender moments like that. Angel introduced his daughter, Kate nodding at the child. The proud vampire beamed, "isn't she beautiful?"
One thing I must say before you read this part is that it takes place in 15 years when Hannah is 16 and Avery is 18. I may go back and forth between the two time periods.
*********************
Late October, 2020
"Afternoon Angel" Wesley voiced as his newly risen boss came into the office. "Hey, I guess it's a slow day seeing that I received my full eight hours" Angel said dryly as he walked to pour himself some stale coffee while the day neared 3:00. "Have the girls gotten home yet?" he asked. Both Hannah and Avery would come straight home after school to check in with AI to see if their help was needed in the latest case. If not, then they were usually back out the door. Gunn piped up from his desk, "oh you know those two…on a Friday afternoon…" At that statement, the two fathers glanced at each other and said in unison, "long way home".
Riding around in Avery's 1970's red VW Bug convertible with the music blaring, was one of the simple joys the friends shared. Both had grown up listening to just about every king of music, from Beethoven and Metallica to Fleetwood Mac and The Eagles. They loved to sing along while driving around town. The two were the perfect blend of their parents with Hannah being studious as well as stylish while Avery was intense yet bubbly. Hannah's favorite songs in the car were the dance version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and "Come on Eileen". Avery, being more the rock lover, preferred "Seven Bridges Road" and "I'll Stand by You". On Fridays, they had kind of a ritual. If it were a nice day, they would drive with the top down, listening to ABBA. As corny as the music was, they loved it, watching "Muriel's Wedding" every chance they got. Even doing a dance number, like in the movie, to the song "Waterloo" for Wesley and Angel one Father's Day when the girls were 14 and 16.
*Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war*
*Waterloo - Promise to love you for ever more*
*Waterloo - Couldn't escape if I wanted to*
*Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you*
*Waterloo - Finally facing my Waterloo*
The rest of the staff of Angel Investigation truly loved it when the girls would just turn on the radio, breaking into song on those really slow days in the office. At the moment, it was "Dancing Queen" on the car stereo they were listening to, waving their arms around to the disco classic.
*You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen*
*Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine*
*You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life*
*See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen*
Gage stepped into his girlfriend's father's place of business, "Hey Gunn, are they home yet?" Cordy glanced at Avery's beloved, "are you kidding? It's Friday" "Oh yeah, ABBA?" "ABBA" she answered to his question.
Gage Killian was 21 and had been dating Avery for about a year and a half. He was originally from a small town near Dublin, but had lived in L.A. since he was 16, leaving just enough of an Irish accent to drive his girlfriend wild. Their first meeting was anything but romantic. While taking an Art History class for extra credit during the summer between her Sophomore and Junior year, Avery literally bumped into him. Both were looking for the same course in the massive school. Photography, being his major, that day was his first day of classes. As the art history class wore on through the summer, the two grew closer and closer, which at times brought out the overprotectiveness in the souled vampire. Avery and Gage, being very mature of their age, decided to take things slow. Hard decisions were made when Avery confided in her father that she wanted to tell her boyfriend of the real goings on after dark, not wanting to keep secrets from him. Understanding, Angel agreed and with help from his staff, sat the boy down whose reaction much resembled Oz's so many years ago.
Angel instantly liked Gage, the youth reminding him of himself at times. That point in fact sometimes irritated Avery. "Dad's aren't supposed to like their daughter's boyfriend. It's unnatural. Is it because he's from the `mother country'?" Her logic made her father smile, reminding him of a certain blond. Looking at Avery, you would swear that you were looking at the fallen slayer. Save for the dark wavy hair and brown eyes, she was her mother's spitting image.
The relationship between Avery and Gage could best be described as having the intensity of Buffy & Angel, added with the sweetness of Willow & Oz and topped off with the humor of Cordelia & Xander.
Breaking Angel's thoughts, the girls burst into the office humming the tune of "Dancing Queen". "Hello all" Hannah chirped as her father smiled at her "anything we may be required to help kill?" "Actually today has been kind of slow so you guys are free, but we will call you on your cells if anything comes up", her mother replied. "Great!" Avery said from Gage's lap, "then we are heading to the beach". At that, Gunn's ears perked, "oh now you know I'm going with"
As the four left the office, beach supplies in tow, Angel, Cordelia, and Wesley sighed in contentment at the amazement of life's little changes.
*********************
L.A. 2020
"Do you remember her at all?" the accented voice startled Avery out of her well inherited `brooding'.
"Wha?…uh Gage…"
"I noticed you looking at that photo of her, so I have to ask."
Sighing, Avery touched the framed picture of her mother. "I was three. I wasn't exactly keeping things logged into my memory yet"
As the couple sat on her bed, he laid his hand over hers.
"I know the basics. Buffy Anne Summers born on January 19, 1981 right here in L.A. Was called as the Slayer at the age of 15, met my father at 16 and lost her virginity to him at 17, which to me, is still too early. I know you and I are both `legal'and have been going out over a year…"
Interrupting his love's tirade, "baby, I think their circumstances were just a tad bit different. Does Angel talk of her often?"
"It's hard for him. He once gave up being human because he was told that she would die if he was to remain that way, and she died anyway. I know he thinks of that often. They were so in love Gage. I'm not even sure the love you and I share could ever hold a candle to theirs. When I was 16, right before you and I met, I suddenly became fascinated by my parents' `Romeo & Juliet' style love story. This couple at one point was so close that they could sense when the other was near, and now their own daughter never seeing them pictured together. Through the years, I had heard remarks here and there about them from Cordy, seeing as how she is the only one of dad's employees that was in Sunnydale at the time. I wanted to know the emotions behind it all. I would ask daddy, but what he would tell me, would barely skim the surface. Then…I met you, and I was smiling more than ever in my life."
Her beloved was grinning, remembering himself. As she paused, thinking of what else to say, he lightly brushed his lips across hers. While he tightened his grip on her hand and she placed her palm against his neck, they deepened the kiss; reminding each other that this generation's `great romance' was not doomed. As the sweet kiss ended, they rubbed their noses together gently before pulling completely away from each other.
"So when the class ended and the summer was over, daddy and I sat and talked. I told him that I was in love. He took a deep breath, which you know is not necessary for him. He was no doubt thinking of my mother and how she first told him she loved him, when she was 16. He told me he hoped I knew what I was doing and to think twice before `major events', I'm sure referring to sex. I told him we were waiting. I think that's when you became his new best friend." Avery said with a smirk.
"Hey your father is a great man whom I have tremendous respect for." Giving her a quick kiss, he whispered, "I don't know if I could go on if the love of my life ceased to exist"
"That thought scares me about daddy. I know he lives for me. I have no doubt that if I was not here, he would have seen a sunrise fifteen years ago."
"When daddy and I were done talking of you, he walked me over here". Gage followed Avery over to an oak desk in the apartment that Angel rarely used as much as the one up in the office. She pulled open a drawer on the right side that appeared to come to and end when pulled far enough, like any other drawer. She then tugged a little harder and it pulled even further out. Evidently the `back' of the drawer, when opened a certain way, revealed a secret compartment, demonstrated to Gage.
"He pulled out three books. They had solid colored covers, like a blank book. He told me that two of them were diaries of my mother's and the other was a journal that he had started keeping when he first saw her. He wanted me to read them, warning that I may not like everything I read. But the beautiful outweighed the horrific, love. Both had vividly described feelings that were overwhelming to read." Discussing of what she had read of her parents, Avery started to softly cry.
Sunnydale 2020
"So how long since you were last here?" he asked his beloved as they stood at her mother's grave.
"Last time I visited my grandmother, which was a little over two months ago. You know daddy has not been here since she was buried? I was always driven here or picked up from L.A. The whole town just held too many memories of her.
"Well sweet, give him time"
Avery bent down and kissed her fingers, touching the engraved name, "I love you mommy"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
L.A. 2005
"Daddy…hep me?"Angel walked into his daughter's room and cracked a smile.
She was sitting on the floor desperately trying to figure out how to put on her shoes. "Here sweetie…you know, it may help if the shoe was on the right foot" switching her tiny sneakers on the correct feet.
Finished with her shoes, he sat Avery on her bed. "And you twisted your straps" commenting on how the toddler had put her overalls on herself. Sitting himself on her bed, with her perched on his lap, he started to brush her hair.
"Your gammy will be here in a bit. You want to look pretty for her, right?"
The child nodded, "want you to come…daddy…peese?" The vampire sighed, "Avery, you know daddy can't go."
"It cause mommy?…I miss her" her bottom lip quivering making Angel hug his child close. "I know sweetie, I do too"
Standing, he picked her up, intent on taking her upstairs to meet Joyce. "Wait! Charlie!"
"Oh man, what was daddy thinking?"
Scrunching her face, "mmm, doe know…"
He flipped her over so she could reach the teddy bear. Picking up her backpack, "anything else?"
The little girl in his arms, sat with a perplexed look on her face. "Oh! Eggie! Don't forget Eggie! He get hungy". Avery suddenly was remembering her cat. "I promise he will be spoiled the whole weekend"
They then headed up to the office. "Now you be good for Gammy and I'll see about brownies and a video for when you get back, ok?"
"K, daddy", her cherub-like face smiled, reminding him of the photo of Buffy in her ice-skates, when she was around the same age.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The weekend flew by fast and Sunday afternoon… "Daddy! daddy!" Running to his lap at behind his desk.
"Hey Joyce, was she good?"
"Are you kidding, she was a darling, like always. Well Angel I hate to run, but we have an early opening at the Gallery tomorrow…"
As the door closed behind her grandmother, Avery asked, "bownies?"
"Sweetie, you are always a good girl", he gently tapped his daughter's nose. "The brownies are cooling and I got `Stuart Little'" making her eyes shine.
Later that night, Angel moved the TV into his bedroom. Avery could be difficult to get down at night to sleep and would usually crawl into her daddy's bed, as the night wore on. Lying down with her while watching the movie, he figured he would be killing two birds with one stone. Save her little, sleepy body the trouble of moving about the darkened apartment and the movie would tire her.
While he watched her sleep as the movie ended, he thanked the heavens for giving him a reason to live in the form of Avery.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
L.A. 2005
Today was a lazy day for Angel, and he didn't get many of those. But it was Sunday and he had given his employees the day off. He also had the task of babysitting for Cordelia and Wesley, who had driven down to Santa Barbara for the day.
The vampire loved spending time with his `niece', who was a very happy baby and had a soft spot for her `uncle'. It was an added bonus that Avery and Hannah seemed to enjoy each other's company. The baby, still grasping speech, called the older girl, "Vree". Avery could also become very protective, dragging Hannah into the closet whenever she sensed danger.
"Avery, could you get daddy Hannah's bag please?"
She slid the dark purple, oversized bag to her father, who was on the couch, changing Hannah's diaper.
"Thanks babygirl" was Angel's reply to her task.
"So what were you doing so quietly in your room?" he asked, grinning at her.
"Dawing"
"Really? Can daddy see?" his miracle nodded, knowing that daddy was her biggest fan.
At the tender age of three, Avery Summers was quite an artist. While her peers were scribbling nonsense on paper, she was doodling simple drawings that were still advanced for her age. Sometimes, they resembled the look of a comic strip cartoon, but they always amazed the people around her.
Angel was pondering this as his child pulled over her sketchbook.
He had bought it for her, hoping that it would be beneficial. And benefit it did, being therapeutic to the little girl in the wake of her mother's death. Buying another for himself helped the vampire with his own grief. While his was filled with detailed sketches of the people around him, Avery's consisted of whimsical subjects such as animals and flowers.
One drawing of Angel's, in particular, Wes talked him into framing, was of the women that have had an impact on his life. His partner commented that it was beyond exquisite.
In the charcoal sketch, with warm detail, Buffy and Cordelia held blissful gazes, lovingly embracing their daughters.
"Here go daddy"
Avery had sketched a meadow with lush grass, colorful flowers, and butterflies sprinkled through the air. It was a playful scene; a place where he imagined his love resided.
Angel couldn't get over the depth of his child, who had captured a peaceful environment with her tiny hands and big heart.
"Pretty daddy?"
Hugging her, "yes honey, it's beautiful. In fact, I think I'm going to put it on the fridge, so that everyone can see just how lovely it is." making her smile proudly.
"Now daddy needs to do some reading, so you and Hannah sit in the living room and I'll put in `Beauty and the Beast'".
About twenty minutes into the movie, the toddler got bored while her counterpart had more or less conked out while sitting in her walker.
Avery wandered around the side of the apartment she was in. She could lurk with the best of them, even being able to surprise her father.
Approaching the darkened kitchen, she noticed a figure in the corner. The creature seemed to have its head at the bottom, with the body extending upwards instead of down. It also appeared to have a very long tail that receded into the wall.
Frightened to say the least, Avery slowly backed away, never taking her eyes off the creature for a second.
Hurrying back in the living room, she pushed Hannah into the hiding closet in the apartment, which was identical to the one up in the office. She then waited until daddy told her the coast was clear.
Finished with the reading of the latest bad guy, Angel crept into the living room, expecting to find the girls asleep. What he found was an empty living room.
"Avery?" "Hannah?" "Are you two playing `Hide & Seek'?"
"Daddy?"
"Avery?"
"Daddy?"
Following her voice, "sweetie, what are you doing in the closet?"
Opening the false back wall, he found his little girl, with her thumb in her mouth, sitting on the floor next to a very sleepy Hannah, who was still strapped in her walker.
Lifting them with each arm, "why were you two in there? Did you see a bad guy?"
Still scared, Avery just nodded.
"Where?" only for her to answer him by pointing towards the kitchen. "Ok, I'll look"
He searched all over and reassured her that there was nothing there. But she persisted, so he kneeled down to her level, whispering, "honey, there is nothing there" However she was peering over his shoulder with wide eyes. Following her gaze, he realized what had terrified Avery.
Pointing at the object, "is that it?"
"Uh huh" she said, sticking out her bottom lip
He tried not to laugh, "oh babygirl, that's a vacuum cleaner; it cleans the floor. I must have forgotten to put it away. It won't hurt you, I promise."
Relieved by her father's voice, she hugged him.
"Come on, let's finish the movie"
Gathering themselves back on the couch, they continued to watch the Disney film, that often reminded Angel of himself.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ice Skating Rink, just outside Sunnydale 2020
"You know…I don't think I will ever get the hang of this" Angel wailed from his seated position on the ice.
Taking pity, Avery glided over to her father, helping him to his feet.
"Daddy, after 14 years of this, how can you still fall on your ass? You said mom skated here all the time. You must have come with her some of those times…"
Angel started bringing his daughter to the ice skating rink when she was four. It was the closest he would come with her to Sunnydale. It was his way of `visiting' with Buffy.
Looking down at Avery's question, he whispered, "once".
After finally getting his balance, Angel skated along side Avery.
"So how is Gage doing in that Literature Class?"
"He's dealing…oh he loves the reading, but the teacher is a witch. It seems nothing he writes is good enough for her. He has always loved writing and I think this woman is making him bitter about his hobby. He is so stressed out over this daddy, and it was always his favorite subject growing up"
"He'll be alright sweetie. By the way, did you give him that book I suggested he read?"
Smiling at her father, "yes he did and he thanks you for it. We only have a week left before Christmas break anyway and then we can both do some well deserved relaxing"
"So the grades are mailed over the break, right?" he asked as they skated to the platform to change into their regular shoes.
Avery grinned, knowing where he was headed, "yes daddy, they are…"
"So…are you getting a new dolly or a sock full of coal?"
"It better be that new Filter CD because I am getting three Bs and an A. The A in Humanities, of course"
"Oh babygirl, that's great!"
She smiled, suddenly thinking of how close they were to her mother's hometown.
"Hey dad…?" she paused as he looked up at her, "Can…can we take some flowers to mom?"
Looking back down at tying his shoes, "you know I think Wes is cooking your favorite tonight"
"But daddy…."
"Ave, you know Cordy hates it when we're late."
Knowing when to not go there, she whispered with defeat, "ok"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"God Hannah! It just pisses me off, you know? I mean, all I ask is that he go with me sometimes to the cemetery….Of all people, he knew her the most, and it seems at times, that he speaks of her the least."
Hannah Wyndham-Pryce had sympathetically been listening to her best friend's plight.
"Ave, you think he's ever been to the cemetery to see her?" she asked with wonder. "Mom thinks he was the one that planted the white rose bush that grows next to the grave".
Wondering of it all herself, "honestly, I'm not sure….. Sometimes I wonder about all those sleepovers we would have at your house…..if he was driving up there or not. I don't know….I just wish he wouldn't be so damn distant at times. Oh he talks of her often, but….I just want more, you know?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Angel, you can't keep doing this to her. Avery is almost 19 years old and it's been 15…."
"Don't!….tell me to get over it! Don't!…tell me to move on!" he vented to his friend.
Wesley decided to stay quiet as Angel whispered brokenly, "Wes, 15 years is not enough for me….no length of time will. In Sunnydale….the memories of her are just overwhelming at times. Every cemetery, we kissed. In every alley, one of us had followed the other. And I don't want my daughter to see me weak. Fathers are supposed to be strong, not getting sad over a dirty alleyway. Riley might have married my Buffy………..but I'm the one looked upon as widowed.
The ex-watcher sighed, "Angel, I think she's old enough to see you grieve. Never hide that from her. You don't have to be made of steel and I know she understands that.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Later that night, after Hannah and her parents left for the evening, Angel and Avery were cleaning up the kitchen.
"Daddy?"
"Hmm?"
"Umm….uh, why do you ignore mom's memory sometimes?"
Utterly shocked by her question, "Ave honey, I loved your mother,I still do. Even though I have watched you grow, it still feels like yesterday that I lost her….."
"But that's just it daddy, it wasn't just you that lost her. I look in the mirror sometimes and think, `that's mommy with brown hair and brown eyes'"
Angel smiled proudly, "you are her spitting image"
Seating herself at the table, she continued "and daddy, I know how much you two were in love, but diaries and journals are just not enough. 15 years may not be all that long to you, but I'm not going to live forever. I need you to talk to me….now"
For the first time, Avery witnessed her father shed a tear.
"Daddy…please"
Looking up at the joy in his life, he wiped at the stream of tears flowing down her face and whispered, "ok…ok…during Christmas break, we will spend a few days on the Hellmouth. Just you…..and me"
"Oh dad, if that will be too soon…"
"No, no…I need to do this. Buffy once saved me from ending my life at Christmas time. It only seems fitting"
Avery smiled in understanding, "daddy? Read me a story tonight?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
January 2005
This night was the longest of the vampire's long life, so far.
For the past three hours, Angel had been trying to get Avery down for bed, but the toddler had been cranky and whiny. He had tried everything he could think of to settle his daughter. Rocking, story, even warm milk was just not working.
"Man oh man Buffy, is she your child," he thought with a mixture of amusement and sadness.
It was at that moment that something told him to turn on the radio, remembering fondly how his mother singing lulled him to sleep.
The worn out father searched through the radio stations, finally settling on a song that was suitable.
*For you, there'll be no more crying,
*For you, the sun will be shining,
*And I feel that when I'm with you,
*It's alright, I know it's right
Avery leaned against her father on her bed, Christie McVie's soft voice filling the air.
*To you, I'll give the world
*to you, I'll never be cold
*'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,
*It's alright, I know it's right.
Angel knew the song was of the late 70s, being around as long as he had, years began to run together.
*And the songbirds are singing,
*Like they know the score,
*And I love you, I love you, I love you,
*Like never before.
"Where was I then?" he thought. "Hmm, was it Chicago or Seattle..oh yeah, it was Monterey! Beautiful up there..have to take Avery and Hannah sometime".
*And I wish you all the love in the world,
*But most of all, I wish it from myself.
Coming out of his thoughts, Angel looked down to see his little girl sleeping peacefully with her thumb in her mouth.
*And the songbirds keep singing,
*Like they know the score,
*And I love you, I love you, I love you,
*Like never before, like never before
He smiled at the sight of her, still rocking her, not quite ready to let her go. "She definitely is your daughter Buffy".
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
February 2021
The battle that took place on New Year's Eve was a tough one.
The warlock that headed Wolfram & Hart didn't have much of a chance against Angel and Avery, who was powerful in her own right. Both had been bloody and bruised, leaning against each other, on their way home.
So when her father suddenly fell to the ground groaning, Avery was worried maybe he had been hurt worse than they thought.
"Daddy what's wrong?"
Getting only a grunt from him, "daddy tell me what's wrong"
As she approached her father's still form, Avery reached out to touch him, when he out of nowhere, gasped for breath.
The action, making her jump back.
Timidly, "daddy?"
Her father appeared to now be hyperventilating.
".Avery.Avery" Angel gasped.
"Daddy.please tell what's wrong" she said through tears, his behavior scaring her.
She was instantly enveloped in a big hug from Angel, who was now crying.
"I'm alive baby girl! I'm Alive!"
*
It was now roughly two months since that eventful night, and Angel's mind often wandered---should he try to find love again, should he live life recklessly now, he figured that he was young and his only child was soon to be moving on.... He just didn't quite know how or where to begin his new life.
A positive side was all the time he was spending with Avery. They went to the beach at least once a week and he was already getting a tan. He took her camping up at Big Bear and with Wes' family and Gage spent a week in Monterey and Carmel.
For her 19th birthday, which was in two weeks, he had planned just a normal barbecue in his building's courtyard. Gage and Avery were going out later in the night, it being Valentine's Day.
Sometimes being human made him brood more than when he was a vampire, if that was possible.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
L.A. April 2021
They got the call on a bright afternoon, Hannah still in school and Avery in a late day 2-D class.
Angel wasn't sure how to tell Avery about her grandmother. Other than at the tender age of 3 with her mother, she had never dealt with much loss in her life.
Wesley, Cordelia, and Angel opted to wait for the girls to return home. The three were soon brought out of their silent thoughts as their daughters came through the door.
Still giggling from the sing-a-long in the car, Hannah asked, "hey what's up?"
"Avery sweetie, can I talk to you in the office please?"
Nodding, she followed her father into his office.
As the office door closed, Hannah spoke up, "mom.dad? What's wrong?"
"Honey, Avery's grandmother had a stroke"
Stunned, the 16 year asked "she's..she's going to be ok, isn't she?"
"No.I'm afraid not" Wesley tried saying calmly
Just then Hannah could hear her best friend weeping from the behind the closed door.
Sunnydale April 2021
Ever since Angel had had custody of Avery, he had been investing with David Nabbitt, making himself quite comfortable. The arrangement of Joyce's funeral was the best money could buy, placing her next to his beloved. He and his daughter were spending a few days in town.
At the moment, the two were sitting in Buffy's old bedroom.
"You know, your grandmother left you this house. It's yours for when you and Gage decide to settle."
Avery was silent.
"Sweetie, I'm gonna head over to Giles', are you gonna be ok here?"
Still without speaking, she nodded.
Kissing her forehead, "ok, you know the number where I'll be"
*
Avery wandered around her mother's former room. She had been there many times before, but she seemed to now notice things for the first time. The chair in the corner with a stuffed cow sitting in it, the sunflower poster on the slanted surface, and the butterflies scattered here and there on the walls.
A lone tear escaped her eye as she took in the décor.
She slowly walked over to the vanity, staring at her reflection. Her eyes and face were red from crying and she could feel a migraine coming on from the pressure of the tears.
She opened the drawer on the right, remembering what was always in it..a notepad w/ pen, and a couple of lipsticks. All were accounted for and one extra item, a CD.
Avery had never seen the CD before. It was totally blank and was in a clear case.
She promptly put it in the stereo and laid down on the bed.
As the song began, she slightly remembered it. The soft Fleetwood Mac ballad was lulling her into a semi-sleep state.
Small flashes of images started to enter her mind:
~*~ Her mother standing in the mirror gazing at her enlarged belly ~*~
*For you, there'll be no more crying,
*For you, the sun will be shining,
*And I feel that when I'm with you,
*It's alright, I know it's right
~*~ Her mother just after giving birth, sweaty and teary eyed with a yawning infant arms in her arms ~*~
*To you, I'll give the world
*to you, I'll never be cold
*'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,
*It's alright, I know it's right.
Avery began to whimper in her sleep as the sensations of the memories, that were not her own, overwhelmed her.
*And the songbirds are singing,
*Like they know the score,
*And I love you, I love you, I love you,
*Like never before.
~*~ Her mother sitting on the carpet, holding the baby's tiny hands, helping her to walk. ~*~
*And I wish you all the love in the world,
*But most of all, I wish it from myself.
Avery was now crying in her sleep as the feeling of slender arms engulfed her in a hug. "Shh..shh, it's ok sweetie" Letting her mother sooth her, she slowly quieted..
*And the songbirds keep singing,
*Like they know the score,
*And I love you, I love you, I love you,
*Like never before, like never before
As she stirred awake, Avery still felt the remnants of the embrace. Opening her eyes, she smiled, "mommy?"
But the room was bare.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sunnydale
"But daddy, I felt her. She was holding me...I know it"
Avery had been telling her father about her all-too real encounter with Buffy. Angel had been reluctantly listening to his daughter's experience.
"Baby girl, are you sure this isn't you overactive imagination reacting to you grandmother's death?"
She knew how it all was discomforting for her father. Sighing, "daddy, just listen to the CD.....please?"
"Alright, alright.....you win".
"Daddy, I know I felt her....". She stopped, taking a deep breath, then whispered, "I could even smell her".
Later that day, Angel went down to the beach to watch the sunset. He was thinking back to a time when all he and Buffy needed was a small fire and each other to cuddle with, on the sand.
He and Avery were heading back to L.A., the next morning, and he was having odd feelings about things. He had gone to the cemetery and laid fresh lilies on Buffy's grave, telling her of their peculiar daughter.
"Love, are you trying to tell us something with this music?"
L.A.
Home....in his home, Angel could lay claim to the thoughts that were troubling him day and night. It had been a week since Joyce's funeral and Avery's encounter with her mother. And he now had the privacy he needed to listen to the music.
Popping it into the stereo, he relaxed on his couch.
The first sound was the gentle guitar riffs of "Wild World"
*Now that I've lost everything to you
*You say you wanna start something new
*And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
*Baby, I'm grievin'
*But if you wanna leave, take good care
*I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
*But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there
Lost in a dream-like state, he began to see flashes of the last 15 years....with Avery.
Some were joyous:
"Daddy! Daddy! Did you see me?!"
"I did sweety! You were great."
The 7 year old practically tackled her father with excitement. She had just won first place in her school's Spelling Bee and was beaming.
"I think, you missy, deserve pizza and ice cream"
"Really?!"
"Uh huh.....now let's get out of here, before we miss all the good movies to rent"
*Ooh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
*It's hard to get by just upon a smile
*Ooh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
*I'll always remember you like a child, girl
Some were heartbreaking:
"Sweety, winning isn't everything. The important thing is that you did your best."
"I know daddy, its just I had that ball, I know I did"
"You'll get it next time baby girl....next time"
"Thanks daddy"
Angel was comforting a 12 year old Avery after her softball team lost the championship.
"Now lets see what kind of ice cream we have."
She smiled up at her father.
*Baby, I love you
*But if you wanna leave, take good care
*I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
*But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware
*Beware
Avery never informed him of the song she had heard, so he assumed it was the same one and that was the end of the CD, when sounds of singing children wafted through the air.
*Step by step
*Heart to heart
*Left, right, left
*We all fall down
*Like toy soldiers
Thinking he was still dreaming, his beloved appeared before him, with what looked like, a 10 year old Avery on one side and an 8 year old Hannah on the other.
The girls seem to sing along with the child-like chorus.
All he could do was sit there stunned with unshed tears in his eyes.
*It wasn't my intention to mislead you
*It never should have been this way, what can I say
*It's true, I did extent the invitation
*I never knew how long you'd stay
*When you hear temptation call
*It's your heart that takes, takes a fall
*(Would you come out and play with me)
The apparition slowly came closer and began to caress the side of his face, as his eyes locked with hers. Mesmerized, he reached out to touch her, and she moved out of his reach.
The former vampire wept silently as he fell into a fitful sleep, feeling her arms wrap around him as he slept.
*Step by step
*Heart to heart (Heart to heart)
*Left, right, left
*We all fall down (All fall down)
*Like toy soldiers
*Bit by bit (Bit by bit)
*Torn apart (Torn apart)
*Never win
*But the battle wages on
*For toy soldiers
After what seemed like hours, he awoke to a very still room.
"...Buffy?....Are you here?", he whispered to the empty room.
Just as he asked this, another song started up.
*Know me broken by my master
*Teach thee on child of love hereafter
*Into the flood again
*Same old trip it was back then
*So I made a big mistake
*Try to see it once my way
The thick sound of bass permeated his senses. Opening his eyes, he was struck with images of his daughter's first three years.....
"She's so beautiful, and tiny"
"She's so advanced Riley. She's already reading and writing"
"My daughter never calls me `daddy'.....why is that?"
"Avery's not mine....is she?"
After a while, the simple statements increased into shouts of anger and resentment....most coming from his love's husband. Soon, Angel could no longer decipher what either one was saying, only that words from Finn's lips were laced with hateful remarks......looking as if he would blow at any moment. And all happening in front of 2 year old Avery.
*Am I wrong?
*Have I run too far to get home
*Have I gone?
*And left you here alone
*Am I wrong?
*Have I run too far to get home
*Have I gone?
*And left you here alone
*If I would, could you?
The song began to pound louder and louder.
Finally ending with Riley's departure and Buffy's self-hatred of the life she had been leading.
Angel didn't think he could take much more, when he heard a hypnotic guitar riff.
*It was a Monday, when my lover told me,
*"Never pay the Reaper with love only."
*What could i say to you except " I love you"
*and "I'd give my life for yours."
And then started the most exquisite vision before him......
Buffy dancing around his apartment with a no younger than 4, Avery in her arms.
Proudly framing her daughter's Spelling Bee certificate, as Angel came into view carrying two pizza boxes.
*I KNOW WE ARE..WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES.
*I KNOW WE ARE..WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES.
*I KNOW WE ARE..WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES, DEAR.
Cheering at her daughter's game has she hit a home run
Buffy and her daughter gossiping about boys after Avery's first day of high school.
Seeing the joy in her little girl's eyes when talking of Gage, imagining how she must looked when talking of Angel.
The tears of happiness that ran down his love's face as she witness him turn human.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Angel?....Angel?"
Slowly opening his sleepy eyes, he saw *her* peering over him.
"Hard day off?", she chided.
"Huh? Wha....?"
"Come on sleeping beauty, we'll miss our reservations."
"Are you real?"
"Lordy, what did you dream about?"
"You"
Grinning, "duh, you always dream that"
"So, so when are our reservations?"
"Seven sharp, so get a move on mister."
As he got up to shower and change, he noticed the many photos adorning his apartment, some he & Buffy, Buffy & Avery, he & Avery, and some Gage & Avery.
Observing her husband's far-off expression, "Hey...where did you go just then?"
Looking down at his love, "nowhere....just thinking how lucky I am."
*I KNOW WE ARE..WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES.
*I KNOW WE ARE..WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES.
*I KNOW WE ARE..WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES.
*I KNOW WE ARE..WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES, DEAR
*We are the lucky ones, dear...
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