AUTHORS NOTES: Distribute with my permission only. Feedback is greatly appreciated,dont sue! This was written before the challenge was sent, but it fits some of the criteria so i just added a bit more in and voila! a rileybashing masterpiece! So heres the fic

"La de dum de day," Riley hummed as he walked briskly through the halls of Sunnydale University. The air was singing, and it was his 1 month anniversary of discovering his bisexuality, and fondness for blueberry yogurt and the smurfs.

Holding a red rose and a sex manual given to him by Forrest in his hand, he skipped and pranced like he was a little school girl all over again.

"The hills are alive....with the sound of music," the Teaching Assistant sang, well more like screeched, as he went through the exit doors of Stevenson Hall. He merrily pranced through the park, when he saw Forrest and Graham making out on the bench next to his favorite tree.

"Dearie Me!" the Iowa, born and raised native cried, tears streaming from his oily acne ridden face.

"How could they?" Riley exclaimed, as he scurried off in the other direction. "And to think, I gave him a framed picture of my favorite cow Bessie just yesterday!"

Riley staggered through the park for hours, wailing at his betrayal, so much so, that he didn't notice the sun setting...

Before he knew it, darkness had fallen. Still running as far as his chicken legs would carry him, he stumbled over his own two left feet and landed face first in the mud. Drowning in his own self pity, he whimpered a dog like whimper and looked up only to see a mysterious man clad in pleather pants looking down on him.

"Riley Finn?" the dark figure asked.

Nodding slightly and scared out of his wits, he answered yes and got up to his feet.

Suddenly, a storm started to brew and lightning and thunder attacked the earth with colossal force. Screaming for his life, Riley stood wailing and crying for mercy and pissed in his pants.

Angel winced, disturbed by the wussiness of Buffy's exboyfriend, while making a mental note to make up his leaving her later. Originally planning to snap Rileys neck, the undead vampire hesitated, seeing the boy urinate all over himself.

"Mercy! Mercy!" Riley wailed again, as he saw Angel vamp out.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a blaster shot came from behind Riley and hit him in the spine. Since the pansy ass loser was dripping wet, the electricity killed him and made pretty colors on his skin, as his body oozed with green slime.

And over him stood Buffy, armed with a blaster gun resembling the one used in duck hunt, smiling triumphantly.

"Those are handy, aren't they?" Angel smirked, relieved that he didn't have to actually touch the boy.

"Yup. So much more efficient than actually snapping his neck, don't you think?" she smiled, looking over lovingly at her husband to be.

"Hey, look at this! A sex manual," the chosen one said in amusement, as she stared at Riley's mutilated body. Gazing upwards and squinting from the rain falling from the sky, the slayer smiled mischievously.

"Aw, now we're all soaked. Wanna go somewhere and change out of these wet clothes?" Buffy asked implyingly.

"Yeah, these pleather pants I got on sale are really clingy," Angel replyed, frowning as water dripped down his face.

Taking his hand in hers, the two reunited lovers strolled out of the park, leaving the electrocuted, bloody, urine soaked body of Riley Finn in their midst.

>1) B/A is a must.
>2) Total Riley humiliation.
>3) Oz is back, with Willow...(i don't like this tara thing!)
>3 or more of the following:
>-slime
>-a 3 toed sloth
>-bubbles (the kind you blow)
>-a duckhunt gun
>-a barrel of monkeys (either a game or real, don't care either way)
>-a toilet bowl brush
>-pleather (ya know...plastic leather)
>-smurfs
>-a sex manual

Send feedback to G

Back to the Fanfiction Archive