Here I..Come

by G

DISCLAIMERS: I dont own these characters, Joss Whedon, the Wb and Fox do.
AUTHORS NOTES: This is me trying to somewhat redeem Buffy (who i like and hate at the same time) after where the wild things are. Im trying, as im sure many of you are, to survive the horribleness of that ep, so heres some therapy! (Dont worry i wont charge you $, only feedback :) Its a little hokey in the beginning, it gets better.


"Uhn, ooh! Oh Riley, Oh!" Buffy groaned and moaned, simultaneously filing her nails. Fully clothed, she sat on Riley's carpeted floor Indian-style, reading the latest issue of Instyle magazine. Glancing at her watch, she waited a few seconds before she continued. "Oh cmon, do it again Riley! Ooh!"

Getting slightly annoyed, she looked up from her magazine to look at the ugly T.A.

"This is supposedly my third orgasm Riley, how much longer to I have to sound like a bad porno movie?" the Slayer whispered, her annoyance growing by the second.

A fully clothed Riley sat on the bed, looking up from his TeenBeat magazine to answer his exgirlfriend.

"Look, I'm paying you to scream my name for another," he looked at his watch, "20 minutes." Before he turned his view back at a bonus pullout picture of James Van Der Beek, Riley gave her a look, ordering her to continue.

Buffy took on a mischievous look as she once again opened her mouth to "groan". Rolling her eyes, she screamed, "Oh, Ungh, Oh Riley! Oh you crazy hunk of burning love! Professor Walsh taught you well! Oh, OOh!"

Laughing slightly, giving him a challenging "what are ya gonna do about it?" look, she sat back down on the floor, counting the minutes before she could leave.

"What was that?" Riley whispered, now throwing his "Hotties of 2000" magazine to the floor. "You're supposed to make this sound real so I can sound good in front of the guys."

Ignoring him, Buffy flipped the page to read about how to create the perfect home spa.

"That's it," Riley whined, "If you don't keep to the deal, I'm not giving you the money."

Buffy stood up, filled with white hot rage. Remaining silent, she stealthily took Mr Pointy out of her back pocket.

"I didn't wanna do this RY, by you've left me no choice," Buffy whispered, her voice low.

"Oh," she thrust the stake into his chest, "Oh Riley!" stab, "OOh!" stab, "Do," stab, "that," stab, "again!"

Stepping back, she wiped her bloody hands on her old ugly red bandanna, before stuffing it in his mouth. Taking his wallet from Riley's desk, she took out the 5, 000 dollars he owed her for her "services."

Grabbing her bag and stepping out the door, she looked back at her T.A.'s mangled corpse.

"See you in hell, Riley," she smirked, "Los Angeles, here I come."

The End

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