DISTRIBUTION : just ask
FEEDBACK : Don't make me beg. If you like the story, or could offer some suggestions or comments about it, send it to fey07@yahoo.com
AUTHORS NOTES : Im still considering the ending in my head, but Its been a while since my last serious fic, writers block has been lugging away in my brain. Call this exercise. I hope you all like it!

Buffy Summers stood alone, amidst the burning smoke from Sunnydale Highschool. She stood, the vision of her comparable to a photograph of the aftermath of war. Her skin was dirtied with the ashes from the raging fire around her, her hair was swept up in disarray, and her face's expression was one of mixed emotions.

A frantic firefighter flew across her view, drenching the flames from the blazing school. Her eyes followed him absently, with a detached indifference. The Slayer's war was over. She had stopped the Ascension, as well as the end of the world. The Mayor was dead, her fellow slayer and once friend in a coma by her own hand, and the graduating class of 1999 saved. After months of battles, research, and worry-filled restless nights, she could finally stop.

Buffy had done it again, but the Slayer found no joy in her accomplishments. Once again, the aftermath of the battle seemed bitter, and the Slayer herself was wary of all the darkness around her. The evil that she fought, the darkness that plagued her every waking moment... Would it end up consuming her? Only time would tell.

As it was, she, along with help, had thwarted another one of evils schemes. It wasn't the first, and it wouldn't be the last. Not the last by far. Nothing ever changed, evil would still fight back, and it would never end.

It was a strange melancholy that came over Buffy at the end of such intense battles, an unwavering sadness. But this time, it was different. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no spark of hope.

At the end of this battle, the Ascension, her Angel had left. Gone, far away to god knows where, far away from her. Buffy choked back on her tears, almost wishing that she had died in the flames. Death was easy, death was quick and final. But the good fight, that was hard, and it was every day. And no longer would Angel be there with her. Now, the chosen one was truly alone in her calling.

Angel, her life's spark of hope was gone. Gone to find his own fight, without her.

Or was he?

A familiar feeling came over her, a tingling in her gut and Buffy raised her head. She looked up, and saw Him, surrounded by smoky darkness. The firemen and fire trucks were the scenery around him, but she noticed nothing but him.

He stood there, an image of perfection admist the chaos that encircled him. Absently, Buffy understood for the first time what the expression "A sight for sore eyes" really meant.

Angel's gaze seared into her eyes with a burning intensity, his eyes filled with unshed tears and longing. Buffy's heart broke as they both stood there, trapped in time, trapped in regret and longing.

He stood there for what seemed like forever, but then, with two graceful steps, he turned his back on her and the flames of Sunnydale high, and walked out of her life.

"No," Buffy whispered, her eyes blurring with tears. She reached out a hand to him, but the smoke had already swallowed him up.

Anger, and months of mounted frustration scorched through her body. She clenched her hands in a resolute fist and blinked away the wetness in her eyes.

"No," she spoke, more firmly this time, stepping towards the smoke and the trail Angel left behind. She began to quicken her steps, speed up her pace as she cleared the smoke and found the figure of her Angel once more.

She was running.

"Angel!" Her voice broke, sounding too desperate for her own liking. But regardless, there was no turning back now.

He turned around and she saw wetness on his cheeks. He looked at her, emotionally drained.

"Buffy," he spoke barely above a whisper, "Please don't make this any harder than it already is."

"No, No," Buffy shook her head desperately. She grabbed the lapels of his duster. She had gone too far to go back now.

"It doesn't have to be hard, Angel. It doesn't have to be, for you or for me. Please just stay. Stay here, don't go," Buffy told him vehemently, "Just stay here with me."

"Buffy," Angel's voice was hoarse, his brows puckered in sadness. "I have to go," he paused, trying to keep his resolve. "Its for the best, its the only way."

Buffy shook her head, streams of panic falling down her face like a river. Her body felt like it was slowly, painfully being dissected with no anesthetic. She felt like she couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't speak.... Couldn't go on.

"No... No... It's not fair..." She choked on her words, unable to continue.

Angel's heart broke at the sight of his beloved in such overwhelming, gut wrenching anguish. Comfortingly, he reached out his hands to her broken form and pulled her into his arms.

Buffy cried into his shoulder. The two lovers stood there for a few moments, clinging onto each other like air, their lifesblood, like life itself. Slowly, her tears subsided as Buffy pulled away and looked deeply into Angel's eyes.

"Will you ever come back to me, Angel?" The Slayer asked with innocence and tear-filled hope. She couldn't live her life without him, summon the strength to go on without Angel by her side.

Angel took in an unneeded breath and brought his hand to stroke her cheek delicately, one last time. His Slayer, after a few moments, wouldn't be his Slayer any longer. She stood like a goddess before him, yet she was practically begging him to stay.

God, he loved her.

Of course, the Slayer didn't know her own strength. She felt like she couldn't go on without him, true, but it was Angel's greatest fear and greatest hope that she would one day forget about him and start anew. Be happy, without him.

But maybe Angel would be wrong. Maybe Buffy needed him as much as he needed her. Maybe she would miss him as much as he would long with her. Maybe she would never forget him, and spend her life waiting for him, like he would wait for her.

The future was so unknown, full of so many difficult questions. Would he come back, his atonement redeemed and soul fixed, and take her up in his arms and have a happily ever after? Or maybe he would come back, and she would have forgotten all about him, and belong to another man. A man more worthy of her. Or maybe he would die in battle and never get to see his soul mate a last time... So many questions.

"Oh Buffy," he sighed, "What do you want me to say?"

She leaned in to his touch, her face burning with desire and regret. She paused, the looked longingly into his chocolate brown depths with sorrow. The Slayer too knew all the uncertainty that lay before them.

Finally, she spoke, barely above a whisper. "Lie to me, Angel," Buffy told him, the tears in her eyes glistening in the California twilight.

The vampire smiled a sad smile. Angel slowly brought his hand to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. Gently, he placed a tender, lingering kiss on her lips. As their lips met, Buffy suppressed a sob of heartbreak.

"I love you," she whispered tearfully as it ended.

"I love you," he managed to choke out in reply, his eyes still closed. "Never ever forget that I love you." It was a confession of truth, Angel's last confession from his heart. Somehow he felt comfort in the words just being said. He gazed into her hazel eyes with all the pain and regret in the world, wishing that he didn't have to cause her so much sadness.

He took a deep breath, and swallowed up his guilt. He summoned his wavering resolve and courage, resisting the urge to take her in his arms and never let go. He took a painful step back, as the winds rushed softly in the distance between them. He turned her back to her, his life, and Sunnydale in one graceful gesture.

And so he left, the moonlight illuminating his figure until it faded away into the darkness. Long after he could no longer be seen, Buffy stood alone, hugging her arms to her body. Somehow, the leaves rustling on the ground, the gentle winds from the west, the night itself felt colder, emptier. The time until dawn seemed all the more endless.

The broken Slayer gazed longingly in the direction of her loves departure, and outstretched a sad, sad hand, as if it would magically bring him back to her. No, it wouldn't be so, and at that thought Buffy took her hand away sharply, sobbing in earnest.

She cried, her soul mourned where she stood, alone. Always alone.

When the rays of dawn speared across the land, Buffy did not see them. When the inevitable warmth the sun brought graced the land of Sunnydale, Buffy could not feel it. While she existed, her spirit was devoid of any true essence.

Slowly, as the time went by, The Slayer's agony began to dwindle as Buffy learned to adapt with the absence of the beloved. Day by day, she began to weather the dark storm and continued to survive. Live her life.

At some times, she did feel some grains of happiness, but no true joy. The days went on, but life and love ceased to be, and would continue to do so until she was reunited with her Angel.

In her soul, the sun wouldn't shine, and there would be darkness until her soul mate came back to warm her heart again.

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