"Confrontations, Truths, and All He Thinks About"

Author: Laure Alexander
Email: laurealexander@hotmail.com
Notes: I'm going back and changing the timeframe for the Feast; originally it was seven weeks away but now it's only two.

Lifting his foot, Spike stubbed out his cigarette against the heel, then glanced down at the small pile of butts at his feet.  He'd been loitering in the tunnels beneath the school for nearly an hour, delaying the inevitable.  He knew he couldn't put it off much longer or Buffy would kill him.

Taking a deep breath to gather himself, he rolled his neck and straightened his duster, then forced himself to open the trap door and hoist himself up into the basement.  He hadn't been there more than a couple of times, but he had an unerring sense of smell and Buffy's unique scent drew him down a dimly lit hallway and up a set of old stairs.  Trying not to drag his feet--because he was a master vampire for fuck's sake--he slipped silently through the hallways, avoiding the few lingering students, janitors and teachers, finally reaching the doors to the library.

He stood outside of them for a minute before peeking through the windows.  Immediately his eyes lit upon Buffy who sat on the edge of a table, legs swinging beneath an adorably cute and very short skirt.  She was talking to the Watcher who was pacing slowly in front of her, frowning at her.

Was she telling him about their relationship?

None of her other friends seemed to be around, though Spike wasn't sure that was a positive or a negative.  The Watcher might be less likely to slaughter him before an audience, though if her friends were around he'd have to deal with them, too.  Well, except for the redhead who knew about them already.

No more dithering.

Another deep breath and he pushed open the door.

Buffy glanced at her watch, glanced up at Giles who was pontificating on the Feast thingie again, glanced at her watch, glanced at the door, hid a yawn.

Spike was late.  Way late.  If she had to listen to Giles much longer she'd need to hit something.  That something would probably be Spike.

If he ever showed up.

The coward.

He'd promised!

"Luv, your Watcher, he isn't ready, luv.  He'll eat my balls for breakfast."  Babbling, Spike glanced down and watched Buffy snicker at the irony as she lifted his cock and curled her tongue around his testicles.  "Shit," he hissed and fell back on the cot, legs spread, blonde vixen crouched between them pumping his dick and sucking on his balls.

What a way to wake up.

"Luv, suck me, pet...Buffy...please..."

Buffy looked up and smirked deeper.  "You know what I want."

Spike scowled then winced as his cock throbbed in her now still hand and his balls ached for her mouth.  "I can't just pop in."

"It'll be better that way.  He won't see it coming and then we can deal with it."

"You want to blitzkrieg him."

Giving him a baffled look, she swiped her tongue up the shaft of his cock sending a quiver through him.  "Huh?"

"Sneak attack, Germany, World War II, surely even you've heard of that."

Her teeth were the next thing scraping up the shaft, and Spike hissed and twitched.

"Made your point, girl."

She grinned and licked the tip.  "So, are you coming?"

"Not yet," he snapped caustically.

"To the Library after school?"  A puff of air hit his slit.

"Fuck...yes..."

As she slid her mouth over his cock and sucked him to the edge of his throat, he grunted and bucked his hips helplessly.

Dirty pool, but he wasn't a welsher, even though a vampire's word to a slayer shouldn't mean anything, and could he be more whipped?

As Buffy's eyes swung to his and lit up her face, Spike sighed to himself and silently acknowledged that he was truly hers.

"Um, Giles, there's something I have to tell you."

Back to the approaching vampire, Giles stopped in the middle of his speech and rubbed the side of his nose before dropping into a chair.  "Hrm, what?"

"I've um...been keeping something from you."

He sighed heavily and took off his glasses to polish them with his always handy handkerchief.  "Buffy, is this about Angel?  I thought we had no more secrets about him."

"It's not about Angel.  Angel's leaving town, I told you that.  But, it's kind of related to him."  At Spike's scowl, Buffy sped up the spilling of her guts.  "For the last couple of months I've been seeing someone."

"I really don't need to know the details of your romantic adventures, Buffy," Giles said warily as he replaced the glasses on his face.  "And as it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the Feast of Devonnia, please let's table any talk of boyfriends for a later date."

"Er..."

Giles froze, eyes narrowing.  "Buffy?"

She flushed and hopped off the table, circling behind Giles to grab Spike's arm and tug him into view.  Giles' eyes widened again, nearly popping out of his skull, and he scrambled from his seat, grabbing for anything he could possibly use as a weapon.

"Gonna bean me with the Vernial Codex, Watcher?  It's a weighty tome, but won't do me much damage."

Buffy smacked Spike into silence as Giles clutched the book to his chest.  "Erm, Giles, this is Spike."

"Yes, I remember," came out from between very tight lips. "Buffy...what is he...If you tell me you're..."  Giles paled and sank back against the table, the book dropping from his hand.  "I think I'm having a stroke."

"That's what Willow said."  Buffy tried to keep it light, but gave her Watcher a worried look.  "You're not really having a stroke are you?"

"You're not really dating another vampire, are you?" he roared back, which made her cringe.

"Oh yeah, he's taking this well," Spike muttered as he slipped behind her for protection.

"I didn't mean to," Buffy wailed back.  "It just...happened."

Sarcasm dripped from Giles lips as he replied, "You tripped over your duty to stake him and fell into his arms?"

"Sort of," she tried pathetically.  "He's just...well, he's not evil."

"Bite your tongue, girl!'

"Shut up," she hissed over her shoulder.

"I can't believe this is happening again, no, not again, much worse. He has no soul."  Giles shook his head as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Um, I know, but...well, it doesn't seem to matter.  I mean, he hasn't tried to kill me or anything."

"Perhaps because all this time you've been dating him, you've allowed him to get away with building a clan of vampires powerful enough to take over the Hellmouth."

Buffy cringed again as Giles shouted.

"Not a problem, never was," Spike said smoothly, his hands cupping Buffy's shoulders.  "I decided to give control of my clan to Angel."

"Angel took it away from him.  OW!"  She jerked away as his hands tightened in warning.

"You're no longer in control of your clan?"

Spike frowned and grumbled, "No.  The big poof is and he's taking it to L.A."

"But, you're still a master vampire and a danger to every human being in this town."

"He's not."

"I am, too.  I mean, I'm a master vampire, but..."  Spike lifted his chin defiantly.  "I decided not to kill anymore.  Don't need to."

"You're a demon."

"I'm part man, too, and that man, well...The Slayer is very important to me."

Smiling, Buffy sank back against him as one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders and across her chest.  "Giles, I never meant to hurt you and I never meant for any of this to happen, but I believe Spike won't kill humans anymore.  I believe I'm more important to him than that."

Giles shook his head in disbelief.  "He's clouded your mind with his handsome looks and deadly cheekbones."

"Angel believes him, too."

"Oh, yes, like I'll ever trust him again."

"Good one, Watcher."

"You're not helping, Spike," Buffy hissed again, glaring up at him.

"This cannot be happening again," Giles muttered, rubbing his temples.

Buffy's heart thumped painfully in her chest as she pulled away from Spike and took a step towards her Watcher.  "I'm sorry for keeping this from you, Giles.  I...I kind of hoped it would just end." She sent Spike an apologetic look before continuing.  "I have feelings for him.  How can he be one hundred percent evil if I can have feelings for him?"

"Oh, Buffy.  He's a handsome, charming rogue and you're barely eighteen."  Giles sighed heavily. "So?  You think I let him sweep me off my feet?"  Her back up, the gentle look on her face turned to a glare.  "That I'm stupid and naive?  I survived Angelus, remember?  I'm not going to fall for cheekbones and sexy quips."

"Fall for?" Spike muttered under his breath, his eyes lighting up.

"Don't interrupt," she snapped.

"Has he bitten you?" Giles demanded.

"No."

"Why not?"

Confusion crossed her face and she half-turned to Spike.  "Why haven't you bitten me?"

"Er..."  He shrugged carelessly.  "Figured you'd stake me."

"You are telling me that you, a soulless master vampire for whom sex and biting go hand in hand, has never bitten her, never tasted her blood," Giles stated icily.

"Never said the latter," Spike mumbled.

Buffy blushed and added.  "You know, in the heat of the moment kind of thing.  Look, why is this important?"

"Because biting each other is foreplay for vampires."

She blushed even more at her Watcher using the word 'foreplay'. "Well, that just proves how different he really is, doesn't it."

Sighing again, Giles shook his head and scraped his hands through his hair.  "I can't believe you've done this."

"I didn't do it to hurt you!"

"I know that, Buffy, but...the danger, the risk."

"He isn't going to hurt me.  He's had dozens of opportunities. I've...I've slept in his arms completely safely, Giles."

"I really do not need to hear that," Giles muttered, rubbing one hand down over his aching temples.  "There are just some things that Watchers aren't supposed to know about their Slayers."

"If it helps, her mum said the same thing," Spike threw in, attempting to be helpful.

Giles glowered at the vampire.  "Her mother knows?!"

"Mom likes him.  She thinks he's good for me or something.  Giles, please, can you just try to accept this?  Try to understand or at least be willing to attempt to understand."

"Do I have a choice?" he asked through tight lips.

Buffy felt emotion clog her throat--she hated when he was angry or disappointed with her--and couldn't help but sniffle.

"Oh god no.  Watcher, if you make her cry..."  Spike took the steps necessary to reach her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back against him.    His hands stroked soothingly over her abdomen and sides as he lowered his head and murmured, "Don't fret, luv.  We'll work this out."

Tears sparkled in Buffy's eyes, but she blinked them away.  "I can only say I'm sorry so many times, Giles.  If you can't forgive me for keeping Spike a secret, I'll have to live with it, but I'm not sorry I'm involved with him.  I'll never apologize for that."  Sniffling again, she pulled away from Spike and turned to walk towards the door.

Spike stared at Giles.  Giles stared defiantly back at Spike, then sighed heavily.

"Buffy, wait."

A quiver going through her, Buffy stopped at the door and turned, trying not to get her hopes up.  She watched Giles walk past Spike and towards her, finally stopping about six feet from her.

"You can't expect to throw this at me from left field and expect me to be all right with it right away," he said gently.

"I...know.  It wasn't fair, but I didn't know how else to tell you.  I didn't plan this, Giles.  I thought it would just be a brief thing and he'd go away, but it turned into more, and by then it was too late to tell you without you getting mad."

"I don't trust him.  I doubt I ever will."

"Can you trust in me then?"

He sighed again and slowly nodded.  "Just...be careful."

Feeling her heart lift, Buffy smiled and flung herself at Giles, hugging him hard.  "Thank you!"

"Er...yes..."  Giles patted her back awkwardly for a moment, before wrapping his arms around her and returning the embrace.  "Are there any other big secrets?"

"Not that I'm keeping."  Pulling back from her Watcher, Buffy turned and gave Spike a look that made him fidget.  "But I think Spike knows more than he's telling--which isn't anything--about this feast thingie."

When Giles turned his patented Watcher's glower on him, Spike fidgeted even more, rocking from foot to foot and fumbling in the pockets of his duster.

"Bugger."  With a shrug of his shoulders and a groan of defeat, Spike sank into one of the chairs around the table and pulled his cigarettes out of his pocket.

"You can't smoke in here."

Glaring at the Watcher, Spike stuck a butt in his mouth and lit it. "Sue me."

"Um, honey, let's not piss off Giles again, okay?"  Buffy hurried over to the table and shoved Giles' empty tea cup over to him before Spike dropped ashes on some of the precious books.

"If I have to tell this tale it's either this," he waved his cigarette at her, "or massive amounts of tequila."

"So, you are planning to hold the Feast of Devonnia," Giles stated coldly as he strode to the table and joined the couple watching him- -one anxiously, one warily.  Sitting down, the Watcher crossed his arms over his chest and focused his attention on the vampire.

"Er...yeah...well, originally."  Huffing out an unneeded breath, Spike ran one hand through his hair, as he reached for Buffy's hand with the other, the cigarette dangling from his lower lip.  "This is so embarrassing."

"Vampires don't get embarrassed," Buffy said softly, squeezing his hand.

"Fine."  He took a deep draw on the cigarette then decided to stub it out before he lost track of it and caught something on fire. "Okay.  It started after we teamed up to stop Acathla.  Dru was rightfully pissed at me for both teaming up with the Slayer and helping to send daddy dearest to hell, but we fu...um...we got through it and everything seemed all hunky dorey for awhile, until I found out she was cheating on me with every Tom, Dick, and Hairy Monster.  That's when I came back here to get that love spell, which I didn't get, but did get the determination to win Dru back." Spike turned his head and looked at Buffy, seeing the caring in her eyes which made him want to both squirm and go down on his knees and pledge his eternal devotion.

Shaking himself out of his moment of retrospection, Spike turned back to the Watcher and continued.  "What I didn't tell Angel and Buffy, what I couldn't admit to myself at the time, was the reason behind Dru's infidelity.  She wouldn't touch me because she said she saw the Slayer covering me, that Buffy was all I was thinking about."  Buffy's soft gasp made him nearly smile.  "Well, I refused to believe that, and even after seeing Buffy again, I returned to Drusilla to make her believe that she was my eternal love."

Spike shrugged a bit sadly.  "It didn't work.  She kicked me out again, and I came back here.  I didn't have any definitive plans, but I knew I had to get her back.  For over a hundred years Dru was my entire world.  But, instead of trying to prove that, trying to find a way to get her back, I ended up..."  He glanced down at Buffy again.  "Buffy and I met up at one of her mum's gallery showings and one thing led to another and while I kept trying to deny what Drusilla had said, it was becoming more and more obvious that she was right.  Drusilla was no longer the first thought that popped into my head.  Buffy was."

"But, still, I didn't want to accept that.  I thought I could just get her out of my system, and while I was doing that I'd do what I could to win back Dru.  I dug up what I could on the Feast of Devonnia and decided that was the way to go.  I...really wasn't thinking all that clearly.  First step was to build a clan, so I concentrated on that and ignored what the other requirements of the feast were, the destruction and mayhem.  It's still a few weeks off and now that Angel's taken over my clan, the preparations have stopped, but..."

"But what?" Buffy asked, a feeling of dread creeping over her at the expression on Spike's face.

"Drusilla's on her way here.  I've had reports.  I knew she'd find out and come."

"Did you really think you'd get away with holding the Feast here on the Hellmouth with an active Slayer?" Giles asked slowly.

"...Probably not.  I didn't really give it that much thought.  If you know anything about me, Watcher, it's that long term plans are not my forte."

"Act first, think later," Buffy added.

Giles pursed his lips slightly.  "So, we have a problem.  Drusilla is on her way here."

"Yeah."

"Do you...still want her back?"

Spike shook his head as he turned it to gaze down into Buffy's hopeful eyes.  "No, luv.  I don't.  She was right."

The smile that lit the Slayer's face made him smile in return and regardless of her Watcher, he lowered his head and kissed her tenderly.

"You're all I think of."

 

The End

Note: Er...I know that's a weird place to end it, but my muse wanted me to end it when Spike said "bugger".  There will be a large epilogue dealing with Drusilla's return and probably happy smut of the B/S variety.