Gone are my reservations about this season. Oh, yes. The walls
are tumbling, my friends. The walls *are* tumbling. Only, not those
of the house this time, but Buffy's huge "Berlin Wall of Denial".
(Or, is that the "Great Wall of Denial"?)
We begin with Buffy clearing out the house of all things that may
tempt a recovering addict's resolve. Candles, fertility goddess
statue, lighter…wait a minute. Are these Willow's items or
Buffy's? Dawn asks why Buffy is getting rid of all the things she
likes…does that include Spike? Anyhow, there they go, into
The Box. Good thing Buffy's infatuation with Spike is too big to
fit in there.

Surprisingly for a vampire who has earned his stones (get it? angels
get wings, vampires get ston…oh, never mind), he comes to
see our fair lady. Oh, sure, we get the nasty little comments. "Stop
trying to see me." But she has that face. You know the one I mean.
From the porch scene in Flooded. Remember, "Hello, Spike." She loves
that he's here, in her kitchen, in the middle of the day. She can't
fit him in The Box, so she's stuck admitting that she doesn't hate
seeing him there.
You'll excuse me if I gloss over the Social worker scene. My only
comment: is that the same woman who played the secretary on LA Law,
or am I imagining things? `Cuz, if so, she could be a spy from Wolfram
and Hart…never mind again.
Spike, ever the romantic, tells Buffy how he loves her hair. She's
his little Goldilocks. This, of course, makes me wonder. All the
references to fairy tales, and now we have another. Is Buffy Goldilocks
and the Troika the three bears? Somehow, I doubt it, but Buffy chops
off her lovely locks just to make sure. There will be no porridge
stealing for this Slayer.
Okay, then. Three nerds. Machine go woosh. Invisibility commences.
(Can you tell where my priorities are when I watch the show?)
Then it happens: POOF! Buffy is invisible. Immediately, we see
the old Buffy. Just like the girl in her high school days, she worries
about fashion sense and discards an ugly purple hat. Um. Wait another
minute. This is not the old Buffy. This is new and improved, better
formulated Buffy, guaranteed to clean mold and mildew, chop, dice
and splice (for only 3 payments of $19.95). But wait! There's more!
If you order your New!Buffy now, you'll get a sneak peak at what
is "wrong" about her. Yes, that's right. Invisible!Buffy is not
just playful, fun and sexual, but also a tad bit naughty. Some might
even say…Evil? New!Buffy stole a police car (er, golf cart).
New!Buffy purposely tried to freak out many Sunnydale citizens.
New!Buffy gleefully boffed a soul-less creature and continued to
fondle and nibble him in front of one of her best friends. New!Buffy
made a social service worker (one who works for the good of the
community) think she was crazy by telling her to "kill, Doris, kill
them all". Funny, yes. The Chosen One, Slayer, Fighter for the Forces
of Good and Light…no. Change for the better, I say sheeait
yeah, baby!
But, the fun can't last forever. Reality begins to seep into her
perfect world of minor mayhem and sexual freedom. First Xander tells
her she is dying. Then Spike kicks her out of his crypt. Then Dawn
refuses to talk to her. All is not splendid in paradise. She must
return to ground zero. Fortunately, she comes off of her Invisible!
High with a good lesson learned. She wants to live.
What lessons have been learned in "Gone"?
Xander
Spike needs a girlfriend in a serious way.
Us
Xander needs to take off the denial blinders in a serious way.
Willow
Baby steps. Baby steps.
Us
Needs make-up. Start with some foundation, then perhaps a little
blush. If you can handle that, then go for the eye shadow.

Dawn
Nothing, as usual.
Us
She's up to no good. Even after the "foster home" discussion weeks
back, she's still a brat.
Spike
Xander is blind. Buffy seriously needs to get in touch with her
feelings.
Us
He's not putting up with Bitch!Buffy or John!Buffy any more.
Buffy
Hiding from who you are doesn't work…(wait a minute. Hasn't
she been taught this lesson about 24 times?)
Us
She's a nibbler.
Favorite line: "I told you. Stop trying to see me, (giggle)."
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